


Becoming

by wifeofstark



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers - Freeform, Fanboys - Freeform, IronStrange, M/M, Office Romance, Post Civil War, Prior Pepperoni, Rogue Avengers, Skrulls - Freeform, Stephen works at SI, Tony Stark Has A Heart, a lil sex, but he wants tonys ass, dad tony, prior ragnarok and infinity war, sorta slow burn, stephen thinks hes straight lol, tony and stephen are idiots obviously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2019-11-26 12:11:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 95,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18180431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wifeofstark/pseuds/wifeofstark
Summary: Stephen wants a job. Stephen gets a job. Only with Tony Stark and his crazy world wound up in it.





	1. All New All Different

**Author's Note:**

> Stephen gets hired at SI, somehow, and that's when it all starts to spiral

 

It's just a slice, a press of a knife against the skin, the hitch of it breaking through, and smooth sailing from there. I cut into the tomato, holding my breath as if I can swallow the shaking in my hands. 

 

The knife goes through the fruit. Then into my finger.

 

“fuck! Shit” I hiss, tossing the weapon in the sink and sucking copper from my index finger. It stings, but not as much as the crashing reality I’m so damaged I can’t even slice an unassuming fruit. 

 

“Stephen are you good?” Christine's voice carries from the next room.

 

“we're going to Subway!” I call back, muffled over the finger in my mouth. God I hate these hands.

 

* * *

 

“Your finer will be fine” Christine assures, holding my uninjured hand over the small grey table in the furthest corner of the nearest Subway joint. It's the first thing either of us has said since we left the Sanctum.

 

“it's not just the finger Chris” I sigh, staring at the finger Christine thoughtfully wrapped with a plaster, “Its this” I hold my hands up and we both watch them shake like keys on a booming speaker.

 

“Your hands brought you to magic, to Wong, the sanctum, to not being an arrogant asshole, you have to see the good in this situation” she strokes my hand with her tumb. It's a little calming, not enough. 

 

“I know but I just want to be able to make a sandwich on my own” I huff, angrily chomping into my 6 inch sub.

 

“you'll get there” she smiles sweetly. It's hard to believe she has actually taken me back since the astral incident, I had to beg, and beg, even when I knew there was no chance, but she gave me one. Sweet Christine. I’m a spec of dust in the cosmos without her. 

 

“and it's not just my hands. I've accepted I can't be a surgeon anymore but it's been long since I've used my brain for science and not which spell to use to kill a Griffin” 

 

She chuckles.

 

“Also I want money, I miss money. I want to be able to take you somewhere nice to lunch, not god damn subway,” an employ in a green cap with a ponytail sweeping nearby laughs almost silently. Almost. 

 

The sanctum does pay me, in a sense, I live free of rent and bills and get enough money to eat. But that's all, selfishly I want to be able to get a steak dinner for me and my girlfriend and not break the bank, I want to have beautiful suits and watches. I can live without them of course, but old habits die hard.

 

“you know what it sounds like you need? A job” she punctuates the sentence by sucking on the straw in her water, like me she refuses to drink soda, we see too many diabetics and obese come through to want to touch stuff like that. Well, she does, I used to.

 

“A job?” I feel my nose crinkle at the prospect. I'm so busy with protecting earth and I can't envision a job I would want where my hands wouldn't be a problem.

 

“of course! How about it?” her eyes light up the way they always do when inspiration strikes her. 

 

“doing what? I don't want to work in Dunkin doughnuts” 

 

“of course not silly, a brain stimulating job”

 

“that requires no motor skills and a flexible schedule” I deadpan, trying to convey the difficulty of it all. It seems to go over her head. 

 

“Yes…” she tilts her head and her lips twist in deep contemplation. The silence stretches for a good minute. Interestingly the whole joint is silent, all that can be heard is the sound of sweeping among the two of us and the two employees that are in. 

 

“I have it,” she brightens again, clapping, “I have an ex that's Tony Stark's best friend, there must be something he can hire you for”

 

“you have a  _ what _ now?” It's hard to believe what I'm hearing.

 

So when she told me she dated a guy in the army she meant… War Machine? Colonel Rhodes?

 

“you dated  _ War Machine _ ?” I still can't quite believe it as it spills from my open mouth. 

 

“Can we call him James please?” she let's go of my hand to pick her sub back up.

 

“wow I feel good about myself now” I mumble, half jokingly. 

 

“hey he's my ex and you're my boyfriend, that makes you superior. Plus, you're literally a magician”

 

“Yea but he's an Avenger…” I mutter. 

 

Christine jerks excitedly, “oh you should join the Avengers!”

 

“hell no. My heroic duties start and end at the sanctum, I can't take on any more” I fall back in my hair as I shake my head. The thought of protecting the earth from physical and dimensional opposition is drowning enough without considering the politics.

 

“okay so it's settled, I'm getting you a job interview with Tony Stark” she grins, it's so cute I almost forget to be outraged. 

 

There's no way I'm getting and interview with Tony Stark. 

 

* * *

 

I got an interview with Tony Stark. 

 

“How exactly is this happening?” I'm dazed as Christine does up my shirt buttons.

 

“I already told you; I called Rhodey, told him that Dr Stephen Strange is looking for a job and to pass it on to his buddy, then two days later he called back with a time and place. Apparently as soon as he said your name Stark was all over it”

 

“yes you told me. But  _ how _ ?” I slip on a belt as Christine runs off probably to get something after delivering an exquisite eye roll. 

 

I don't think one is ever ready to meet Tony Stark. I'm certainly not. He seems so charming, but also a jerk. What if he's too charming? Or too much of a jerk? Oh god. 

 

What if I'm not smart enough? 

 

Who am I kidding, I have my strengths and I believe in them.

 

I huff as I slide on my navy blazer, trying to shove some confidence into myself. It's just Tony Stark, it's just an interview, it's hardly the end of the world if I don't get it. 

 

I don't even know what the position is. 

 

Christine comes back with a briefcase, I put all my best records and papers in it earlier in the day. She places it on the floor by the wall mirror and returns to me, turning the collar of my shirt up. 

 

“excited?” She picks up the navy tie on her bed and tosses it around my neck, making a start on doing it up.

 

“more like I can't believe this is happening”

 

“shush. You're going to come back and tell me you have a job. I'm sure of it” she pats my chest once she's done with the tie. It looks impeccable if course. 

 

“okay you don't have long” she concludes after 

turning to look at her desk clock. 

 

I don't deserve her, it's almost funny how little I do. 

 

A quick portal takes me near the tower and I only have to take one bend to find it. I almost snap my neck to look up to the top of the impending structure. It's only a ten minute drive from the sanctum but I've not been this close to it in years, it's easy to forget how tall it is until you're here, feeling like an electron in comparison to its size. 

 

I grip my case like it's going to escape at any minute and take my first step, many more follow until a large man with no hair asks for me to identify myself and go through a metal detector. Once I've put my belt back on, pocketed my phone and grabbed my leather black case without dispute I'm in the lobby of the tower. It's a vast room with a shining marble floor and windows as walls, it's flooded with light and people who bustle about, seemingly busy in their own little world, most on phone calls and many talking face to face. There's a waiting area in the right  corner by the entrance, a square of red couches all facing a white center table with an aloe vera plant on it. Three people sit with a lot of space between one another, all holding some form of bag and looking nervous. I get the feeling I'm going to join them soon. 

 

The reception desk is long and curved, two ladies sit at it, again with vast distances between them. One's on the phone and the other is writing something down, I go to the latter woman. She doesn't notice me.

 

“hi I'm here for an interview”

 

“oh hello! And what's your name?” her glossy lips smile brightly, she has dimples. 

 

“Stephen Strange” 

 

“okay one sec,” She picks up a black phone and types a three digit number into it, “hey a Mr Strange is here for an interview. Should I have him wait?... okay… right away,” she puts the phone down, “come with me” she stands and comes to escort me to one of the five elevators in the other right corner of the lobby, it took forever to get here with how big it is. 

 

We wait for one to open, a kid comes out, he has tousled brown hair and looks about 16. He also looks very out of place surrounded by suits with his worn blue plaid shirt and backpack sliding off his shoulder.

 

Once we're in the receptionist swipes her card on a black square built into the lift and tells the lift to go to floor 3, it repeats the number back to her before closing its doors and jerking upward.

 

“no buttons?” I ask. Of course, this is Iron Man's tower, buttons are probably beneath him.

 

“This tower is made up of 93 floors. 93 buttons is a little too much don't you think?” 

 

Definitely. 

 

Soon the doors open again and we're faced with rows and rows of offices, all with glass separators. The sound of people typing on keyboards is overwhelming. 

 

The receptionists heels click against the grey floor as she takes me down the middle off all the offices, left once we reach the end, past two guys chatting by a coffee machine and into an empty office. 

 

“please sit,” she signals at the chair on the further side of the square table, “can I offer you a coffee?” 

 

“I'm fine Thank you” I assure, taking a seat. 

 

“you'll be seen shortly. Good luck” she flashes a friendly smile and briskly turns away, her braids swinging in her ponytail as she walks off the way we came.

 

Suddenly I have no purpose. I swing from side to side in my chair debating whether I should rehearse what I'm going to say for a mystery position or just focus on being calm.

 

Then I hear heels again. 

 

In walks a woman with red hair, bangs, a pony tail, curled at the end, with red lipstick on, in a navy shirt, white straight leg pants and white pointed heels. She's the CEO of Stark Industries, Pepper Pots.

 

“Miss Pots” I stand, offering my hand. I catch her looking at it and I almost want to hide it, so she won't see my weakness. 

 

“Hi Doc” she smiles, taking my hand and shaking it firmly, yet gently, “please sit” 

 

Both of us sit down, she puts her blue folder on the table and opens it up, looking at what seems to be my character profile. 

 

“I'm sorry Tony couldn't make it. He really wanted to meet you”

 

I smile. She says that to everyone that comes in hoping to meet Iron Man. I'm probably never going to see him. I'd be lying if I didn't find that even a little disappointing, it would be interesting to meet such a famous man whose done so much and is so clever. What would conversation be like? would we bounce off each other with smartassery, would we clash, or would he be too much for me?

 

“and no I don't say that to everyone. You've been on his radar since he took an interest in neuroscience” She says, reading my mind. 

 

Oh.

 

“okay so Tony and I spoke and we thought you should be the head of Neuroscience in the research department”

 

I don't know what to say to her, my mouth sort of just hangs.

 

“You're looking at 22 hours a week but are expected to work outside of that if it's needed to meet deadlines. Excluding overtime you'll be looking at about 5,000 dollars a month” she says, eyes fixed on the sheet, her manicured finger following the numbers.

 

5,000 dollars isn't close to what I made as a surgeon but now it’s shockingly good, even more than I need. 

 

“after a 3 month period we will review you and your salary will be increased according to how much progress you've made towards the projects we assign to you” she finally looks up at me, clasping her hands together and leaning over a bit, “Tony, the head of Research and I meet up to decide projects for all the research departments, you'll get the brief from the head of Research and then it's up to you to manage and help your team get it done by the date we give you. We also have on going projects without deadlines so it's not all stressful” She gets a thin black plastic folder from the back of hers and slides it over, “here's your pack”

 

Flicking through it I can see it has information about work conduct, pension, perks, resources and my contract, right on the first page. 

 

“any questions?” 

 

“ah… are the 22 hours fixed or-”

 

“no you can come in when you like, even at 3 am if that's your gig, just as long as you clock in and the system says you've done the time” she's given me flexibility. And research with a team for neurology doesn't require intricate hand work. Also the money. It's perfect. How is it so perfect? 

 

“when would you want me to start?”

 

“as soon as you can”

 

“how many people would I be managing?”

 

“40 I believe” 

 

“That's a lot” I breathe. It's been too long since I was in charge of anyone, even then it wasn't 40. Wong would say I struggle to be in charge of myself, especially when I push my power to the limit and end up passing out or something close to that.

 

“Stephen we’ll help you integrate, we don't do drag and drop here” she assures me. 

 

I hadn't imagined a CEO of a major company would be so warm.

 

“I'm all out of questions”

 

“okay, so please take your time to look at your contract. Sign it if you're happy and I can give you a tour” 

 

“You're not going to ask me any questions?”

 

“Nope. I'm sorry I don't know much about your work, only what I read on my way here, but Tony told me not to let you leave here without signing you on” 

 

“that's really nice of him” I look down at my contract, filling in the empty boxes with my personal information, slowly, so it’s somewhat legible over its wobble. 

 

Twenty hours, researching neuroscience, for Stark Industries, for 60,000 a year. The only thing to do is sign the contract.

 

“awsome! And your start date will be?” 

 

“three days from now?” I need some time to come back to normal things, a normal job.

 

“alright,” she scribbles something on her form, then takes my contract and clips it into her folder, “let me give you that tour then” she snaps her folder shut and stands, I follow her out of the office and back to the lift. Once we're in she swipes the black card clipped on her pants and calls for the 88th floor. It's going to be a while. 

 

We stand silently side by side. About thirty seconds pass, she seems calm, just holding her folder to her chest and standing with impeccable posture. I should say something.

 

“Mr Stark is very nice to hire me just like that” Is the first thing I think of, because it's true, I'm very lucky. 

 

“you can tell him that when you meet him”

 

“I'm going to meet him?” before I might have thought he would interview me but now that I've experienced the place I have to wonder how he would have the time or thought to come to see the head of a small department within a 93 floor tower. 

 

“why wouldn't you?” she looks genuinely puzzled, like there’s something I’m missing.

 

“I don't know, doesn't he have to go to meetings and parties and fight aliens? Why would he care about the research teams?” 

 

She smiles at the elevator doors, “Stephen let me just tell you that who you think Tony is, isn't who he really is” 

 

Interesting. Maybe keeping an open mind about the man is the way to go. 

 

“this is your floor. All biological research happens here,” Pepper explains as we walk out of the lift. This floor seems to be set up with a T shaped corridor, on each side of us there are four sections, separated, again, by glass. Each section has a square sign above it; we’re standing between one that says Genetics in white writing and a green background and another that says Astrobiology with a navy background.

 

“A lot of people in research like to identify themselves using the colour of their section, try to remember them” she says as we walk down the middle of the corridor. I can see what everyone is doing thanks to the apparent nonexistence of actual walls in the tower; people sit at computers, or discuss, or point at whiteboards, some run around with contraptions in their hands. The dress code here seems to be either lab coats or smart casual. Noted. 

 

“on your first day you'll get a clearance card, it'll get you to most of the floors in the tower and labs on this floor. Don't worry about where you can't go, the system is quick to let you know” 

 

Finally, about three sections down, we get to the Neuroscience sign. It's purple.

 

“here we are” I follow her in to find rows and rows of computers with huge screens on the right side of the section. On the left there's first an area with purple sofas, a table and a coffee machine, then an office, then a small area with bookshelves, followed by a conference room. At the very back of the area there's three rooms with walls and viewing glass. If I squint I can see an MRI machine in one of the rooms. They must be the labs. 

 

We pass a couple of people in what I'll call the common area who abandon their discussion over some papers they've laid out to stare at us.

 

“this is your office” she presses her card to a random spot on the glass door and pushes it open. It's neat, there's a wooden desk with a modern lamp and coaster already on it and a square backed office chair, standard. On the right there are two white chairs and a tall green plant with huge leaves. On the left there's floating shelves and a round glass coffee table. But most importantly there's a beautiful view out of the tower. The city stretches endlessly and it looks so quiet, like a picture. It must be beautiful at night. 

 

“thoughts?”

 

“I love it” 

 

“That's what I like to hear. Do you own a laptop?” 

 

“No” she seems puzzled by this but how do I explain that there's hardly a need for a laptop when you're a Sorcerer Supreme that lives in a sanctum?

 

“all good, I'll have that sorted by the time you start” she glances up at the ceiling when she says this for some reason. 

 

We step out of the office just as a woman and a man approach us. 

 

“You must be Dr Strange, I'm Joseph Giacometti, the head of the biology department and this is Cassandra Gorge, the head of Research” 

 

I shake Giacometti's hand first, he's a tall man with a good tan and salt and pepper undercut hair. Objectively very good looking. Then I do the same with Gorge, she in turn is quite short. She looks like she might be half central American; her hair is jet black, cut up to her neck and with razor straight bangs. Both of them are wearing powder blue, him in his shirt and her in her form fitting dress. 

 

“well this is convenient. You've met the whole chain now; Tony and I, then Cassandra, then Joe and then you” she gestures down a notch as she lists each name. 

 

“so who had my job before?” It's strange to call it my job. Just a week ago I didn't even realise I wanted a job. 

 

“me. Thanks to you I got promoted” Joseph squeezes my shoulder with a thankful smile.  

 

“Alright I think we'll let you go now. See you” Pepper leads me away with a hand on my back and waves to my other bosses. She isn't imposing or strict at all but her aura radiates her position, you can tell from quick observation she’s in charge.

 

“so what have you been doing since your accident? if you don't mind me asking” she asks as we stand in the elevator. Reflexively I tense at the question, but quickly make myself relax, she isn't being confrontational and the last thing I want to do is make her suspect me of something

 

“I've gotten into meditation and really I've just been reading, learning new things” I slip my free hand into my pocket, as if it'll make the memory of the accident go away. 

 

“oh I love meditation” she seems to light up, actually facing me, “have you learned any particularly good tricks?”

 

“A good cup of Jasmine green tea and a dash of lemon?”

 

“oh I'll have to try that” she bounces on the spot a little, turning to face the doors again.

 

“I imagine your job must be really stressful” I phrase it like a statement not question, because there’s no doubt being in charge of 93 floors of people and property is a lot of work, and that’s excluding that this is only HQ.

 

“oh it is. I still remember when Tony first told me he was giving me SI. I had no idea what I was getting into,” she chuckles, “and dealing with him is almost as stressful as this whole corporation” 

 

“he's a handful?” Back when I thought I was on top of the world there were only three people I looked up to; Bruce Banner, Helen Cho and Tony Stark. Nobody else sparked my curiosity, a curiosity that still stands today clearly.

 

“well, he used to be worse, now he's quite good, more screwed on, but let me tell you something, never get close to a superhero, especially one as reckless as Tony, he's so determined to protect the world he forgets he's risking his life. It's excruciating knowing he's battling gods or aliens and wondering if he'll make it. You have no idea. Thank god we aren't together anymore otherwise I may have had a heart failure or two”

 

I have a personal idea, from Starks perspective, not so much from Peppers. “is that what he's doing now? Battling gods and aliens?”

 

“he said he's in Egypt on a rescue mission. A building was bombed and there's people stuck in the rubble”

 

That's awful. Not only for the victims but for Tony and the rescue team. I know the drill, after relentless effort you find somebody, maybe see their foot sticking out, you celebrate, glad for progress, but at least 50% of the people you find are dead. And you mourn. And that goes on for hours, even days. 

 

Soon we make it back to the lobby. Pepper kindly walks me all the way out to the street as we make small talk, discussing the state of pollution in Manhattan, and once she says her goodbyes and strides back into the tower as I find some place where a portal would go unseen.

 

When I get to Christine's she's lounging on the sofa in a navy tracksuit, watching the news on tv, a story about the Brexit process in England. Apparently it's still not going very well for them.

 

“hey Chris”

 

She jumps up at the sight of my voice, running over excitedly, “so? You got it right”

 

“no” I bow my head.

 

“what?” she sounds genuinely stoked beyond repair.

 

“I did. I did,” I laugh, holding her by the waist and twirling her around. When I put her down I plant a kiss on her lips. This is all thanks to her. 

 

“of course you did” She holds my face with her soft hands, looking so proud.

 

“when are you starting?” she ushers me to the sofa, I sit heavily, sighing at the softness of the surface. 

 

“in three days”

 

“great! So did Tony Stark interview you?” she sits facing me, tucking her ankle under her butt. 

 

“no it was Pepper Potts actually” I tell her as I pull off my shoes. 

 

“oh I really admire her. What is she like?”

 

“immensely kind and thoughtful. I couldn't say one bad thing about her” I’m one to look for the worst in people, instead of the best, and she really held no fault.

 

“That's good,” beeping interrupts her, “that'll be the cannelloni” she gets up and disappears into the kitchen.

 

As I'm removing my blazer and tie the story switches to an image of a derelict building, there's dust and smoke everywhere. It grabs my interest. “Update on the incident in Egypt, we have a visual of Iron Man, Tony Stark at the scene” the reporter explains. And there it is, the iron man suit, lifting a bit of building too heavy for any mortal man and flying it somewhere else so that a bunch of people can start searching the uncovered area. 

 

“his efforts are aiding real progress in the search for survivors. His arrival could be the difference between life and death for some of the unfortunate victims of this incident”

 

I know the newspapers will pin this act as part of a publicity stunt for his new product launches and sales to sell copies and It makes Peppers words come to mind. Is Tony who the media wants him to be or is it all a fake film over a truly good person?

 

* * *

 

“what did you need me for?” Wong asks after stepping into the sanctum through a portal, in his usual robes. 

 

“I'm going to work. Could you watch the sanctum?” I ask, busy debating whether or not I should do up the top button of my shirt

 

“work?” He asks like he’s never heard of such thing.

 

Undone. Yes. 

 

“Yea I got a job for Stark Industries”

 

“you can't have a job! Your duties lie here” he closes his portal all too aggressively.

 

“Wong you know this was getting ridiculous, all we eat is sandwiches from the local stand. I need money”

 

“money is only a catalyst for greed” he crosses his arms, expression disappointed. 

 

“okay well I need more than just watching dimensions. I miss my passion” I argue, doing up my black tie. 

 

“we give up ourselves when we choose his life. That includes passions”

 

“That's not fair. Your passion is books”

 

“I'm simply lucky” the librarian shrugs. 

 

“tell you what, when I get my first paycheck I'll get you whatever you want for dinner”

 

Wongs eyes change. “anything?” 

 

“Yes. Even golden chicken wings” I insist, using the first stupidly expensive food I can think of. 

 

“well then don't be late on your first day” he nods and wanders off, probably to a watch room. I have to chuckle at the stark change at the mention of free food. One day his stomach will be his demise.

Once I decide on just wearing a shirt, tie and slacks, simple black and white, I grab my briefcase and open a portal to a back alley near the tower.

 

Here goes my first day at work.

 

And with that come the motions; metal detector then reception. The same secretary from three days ago greets me and hands me a white keycard which reads ‘Dr Stephen Strange’ in bold black capitals, underneath it says ‘Research personal’ in fine lowercase. In the bottom corner there's a serial number and on the backside it has the Stark industries slogan again in black. That's all. 

 

I use the metal clip on the card to attach it to my waistband, like Pepper had hers. It's my only option, this shirt doesn't have breast pockets.

 

When I get into the lift and tap my card I feel weird telling it to go to the 88th floor. I guess working here I'll have to get used to speaking to inanimate objects. 

 

At the 80th the elevator stops and I start to think it misheard me until it opens and a kid steps in, tapping his card and telling it to go to the 91st floor. Interestingly his card is grey. As he clips it to the pocket of his tan chinos I realise he's the same kid I saw the first time I came, same scruffy hair and drooping backpack with Star Wars pins on it.

 

He catches me looking at him and gives me a shy once over. We look so different, me with a tie and briefcase and him in a burgundy crew neck and beat up sneakers. 

 

“cool goatee” he murmurs, seemingly torn between looking at me and the floor. 

 

“thank you” I find I sound stiff. It's weird talking to kids, I don't remember the last time I did.

 

“did you take inspiration from Mr Stark?” he pulls his bag from falling off. I'd like to tell him to just put on the other strap.

 

“no actually, but I get that a lot” I smile a little. 

 

“Do you work here? I mean… obviously you work here but like what do you do?” he signals at my key card, shaking his head at his lapse. 

 

“this is my first day. I'm the head of Neuroscience” I can't quite believe it as it comes out of my mouth but it's true. 

 

“That's really cool!”

 

“are you an intern?” I ask after a beat of silence.

 

“not yet. I'm just here to see Mr Stark today” he chirps.

 

That brings a plethora of questions to the table but the elevator reaches my floor and I can't ask them.

 

“bye goatee man” the boy waves until the doors close between us.

 

Is he Tony's son? There's no way. Maybe a nephew? But he doesn't have any siblings does he? 

 

By the time I get into my office and put my case down on the desk my thoughts are on the pile of papers on it. There's a green post it with ‘this is what the team is currently working on -JG’ written in pink pen. There's also a Mac on the desk, and again a post it, where Giacometti has written the password for it and that I have a meeting. 

 

I open up the laptop and type in the nondescript numbers and letters on the post it. I can remember that. The screen is already open on a timetable. It says I have a meeting in 3 hours in CRNP88 which I can only deduce means conference room Neuroscience floor 88. Next door. That's useful.

 

I take ten minutes to think about what I'll do in this department meeting and decide to start simple, ask for a brief on the current work being done and go from there. So I dedicate the rest of my time to reading the papers. 

 

An hour and a half later my spine aches and I'm almost done with the information about thought to speech earpieces meant for military and hero use I suppose. Of course this technology already exists, our late Stephen Hawking being the most famous example of it, but compacting it into a small earpiece, adapting for it to translate languages, and private servers is a whole other task.

 

There's a knocking sound and I look up. Into the brown eyes of Tony Stark. 


	2. Secret Invasion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephen takes a 'which avenger are you?' test and gets Tony Stark. At the same time some visitors come to bother humanity.

Tony Stark waves. I stare. He takes the liberty of tapping his black card and waltzing in to my office dressed in a fitting black jumper and jeans of the same colour.

****

“Dr Strange. I'm so sorry we're only meeting now” he flashes a dashing smile and extends a hand. I manage to shut my trap and shake hands with him, its rough to the touch, like a true engineers hands should be. 

****

“it's really okay. It's nice that you even want to meet me” I say after clearing my throat, rising from my seat. He isn't quite the same in real life, shorter than I expected, about 5'9, but also he has more lines in his face, and discoloration here and there were wounds or bruises are healing. I don't find that to be a bad thing though, he looks better face to face.

****

“are you nuts? I'm a big fan of your papers. I read them all when I first got into neurobiology, couldn't stop”

****

“oh” is all I can think to say. I must have fallen asleep in the sanctum and woken up in a parallel universe by accident, that's the only explanation for this. 

****

“I actually used a lot of the insight to develop my nanotech suit. I would quite literally have been lost without you” he sits on the edge of my desk and he way he looks at me once he's done speaking almost feels heavy with something unspoken. 

****

“good thing I work for you now”

****

“Yes exactly. Thank god for Rhodey. What if AIM had found you first? That would not be good at all” Now I realise Stark is also very expressive when he speaks, looking up at the ceiling, shaking his head, making hand gestures. 

****

“AIM is still around?” I thought that due to the many villains they endorsed and weapons they created they were shut down. 

****

“not officially. But they're like the nerd version of Hydra, they never go away”

****

I look at him in a puzzled manner. I've heard of Hydra, Captain America exposed them a couple of years ago and saved a chunk of the population from being killed by them supposedly. 

****

“you should look them up. If it wasn't for Captain America they would have killed you” he comments like it's causal.

****

I cough at the sudden blockage in my throat, “I'm sorry?” I was one of the people they wanted to kill? As I watched the news on it I had a red dot on my back? 

****

“apparently they predicted you'd be a threat in the future. Any idea why?” he leans forward a little, curious. Something tells me he planned to ask me this question.

****

“No” I lie. 

****

“good. Keep me posted incase you get exposed to gamma rays or something”

****

Hydra was right in thinking I'd be a threat to them, I'm a threat to any mass murderer, but not to people who save lives in Egypt.

****

“will do sir”

****

He makes a face, “oh no that's gross. Tony please”

****

“okay, Tony” I smile. I don't mean to but I do. 

****

“okay Stephen” He smiles back, and it's not one of his tv ones, it's soft and personal. “you'll be seeing me soon” he says when he reaches the door, looking at me over his shoulder. I wonder if he makes his actions alluring on purpose or if he’s just like that. 

****

I smile and nod, “until then” 

****

And that's the conversation, Tony leaves and I watch him walk toward the elevator for a little too long, wondering what just happened. 

****

Well he certainly isn't a jerk. 

****

I only have so long to sit in my desk and run that surreal interaction over and over in my head before it's meeting time. Gathering the papers, I migrate to the room next door and even though I'm a couple of minutes early half the seats at the table are already taken by staff either in lab coats or smart dress. Some of them have notepads in front of them, others laptops, one or two have nothing at all. 

****

I try to say hi to everyone I make eye contact with as I travel to the top end of the room, where there's a projector on the wall and a whiteboard propped up to the side. People are still coming in and my first decision is to just stand quietly until we're ready, then I remember my hands, they're exposed for everyone to see, the paper I hold shakes in my grip. I quickly put the stack down and shove my them in my pockets.

****

Eventually all 16 of the seats are filled and some people are standing by the glass walls. It's a lot. And now I have to speak. “morning everyone I'm Dr Stephen Strange and the new head of this department. I used to be a Neurosurgeon so it's exciting to be back in the field after a long break” Alright it isn't so hard, even as every single pair of eyes in the room are fixed on me. 

****

A guy puts his hand up not as permission but as an indication he's about to speak apparently, “why'd you leave neurosurgery?” Some people give the slouch scolding looks, they probably know my story. 

****

“car accident. Anyway is there anyone who could brief me on the earpieces? I'd like a progress report” 

****

A small woman with a brown ponytail raises her hand, her key card is clipped to the breast pocket of her lab coat and it says Ema on it. I nod to her.

****

“Just yesterday we and the tech department managed to viably compact the transmitter into a pea size, our next move is to have the messages be an audio in the receivers ear rather than reading back to the sender”

****

“okay and what will this next move be Ema?” 

****

“well… we have to find a way to get the cerebral signal to another earpiece…” her cheeks look a little pink and she fiddles with the position of her round pink rimmed glasses. 

****

“by the sender's device decoding the message before sending it to the receiver?” I finish. She nods. 

****

“we have the first part down don't we? The second part is the same process just merged with the private communication channel” 

****

“He's right, it's just a case of collating what we already have” a bald man with a blue creased shirt standing at the back says.

****

“so, message is thought, device 1 decodes, sends to device 2, device 2 decodes, then audio” I reiterate. 

****

“the goal is clear. Next up we transmit from device 1 to 2. That should be easy for the tech guys right?” some people in the room nod, “so the real challenge is getting that final audio”

****

“what do you suggest we go for? Automated speech?” a blond woman asks.

****

“the issue with that is that it'll be impossible to distinguish who's saying what in team operations” Ema points out.

****

“they could sign off with their name” someone else suggests.

****

“but someone could use the device and impersonate them” another person argues.

****

“It's coded to the wearers brain it's not an open network” the bald man says. 

****

“how about it comes out as if they spoke the words themselves?” I say. Everyone shuts up for a moment. 

****

“are you suggesting artificial telepathy? That's crazy” a pretty boy with shiny black hair standing in the corner comments. 

****

“isn't crazy SI's specialty?” I argue. Again everyone is as quiet as their thoughts. The business is owned by a man who made his first Iron Man suit in a cave with whatever scraps he could gather, we of all companies should be the ones ahead of the game. “when we think we think with our own voices and pronunciations, there could be a way to pick up the pattern in code no?” 

****

“well… Adobe managed to do a voice simulator, but that required speaking into it so it can learn your voice” a ginger guy in plaid explains. 

****

“so we make a more advanced version, we break down Adobe's structure to its base and rebuild it to our needs” people seem to look more convinced by my idea. I recognise it's a far throw, but that's exactly what Stark stands for. “I think our real problem is the speed in which this all happens. If we want it to emulate voice we can't make that less than a second fast on our first go. So, we should make it happen, but as slowly as it needs to, and then worry about speeding up the transfer” Nobody objects so I nod, and then find I don't know what to say. 

****

“usually this is where we're divided into tasks” a woman with an afro and purple lipstick sitting at the front whispers to me.

****

“right, thank you, I want one group to work on transmitting the code from device 1 to 2. That's where you need to be if you're from tech, some Neuro people should join too of course, and the rest of you find test subjects and see if you can make any headway on turning cognitive thought into a digital frequency. Also please have a few tech people with you. If there is a major leap or issue we'll have another meeting to move on to the next thing or find a solution to a dilemma. Any notes?” 

****

Nobody says anything.

****

“alright don't let me keep you” after I say that people gradually start to vacate the room, stuff in hand. A couple of people come up to me and wish me luck at my new job, or tell me I did well, or ask a question, until only Ema's left, Ema with her pink shirt and a little pin of a shocked cartoon face on her lab coat lapel. 

****

“you did really well Doctor”

****

“thank you… I actually did” it was like falling back into an old habit, I don't feel any nerves now. 

****

“I've read some of your papers. They're very fascinating” she tells me, pocketing her notepad and pen. The compliment is nice but it doesn't quite have the same effect as when Tony said it. 

****

“I'm glad that's the case” I grab my papers and lead the way out of the conference room, she follows at my shoulder.

****

“so how's your first day been? It is your first day right?” 

****

“yea, good, the meeting went well, and I met Tony Stark earlier” we stop at the coffee machine in the common area, I stick a paper cup under if and push the tea button.

****

“oh you did? He's so gorgeous, especially in person, isn't he?” 

****

“Yes very” I nod in agreement, watching the steaming liquid fill the brown cup. Then I freeze when realise what I said. 

****

“he's also much more down to earth than you expect” 

****

I nod to that, still contemplating the fact that I find Tony Stark gorgeous. Not good. 

****

* * *

 

****

The next morning Christine doesn't have a shift so we both stay in bed, she's pressed up on my side, an arm resting on my bare chest and a leg between mine. I stroke her smooth shoulder meditatively.

****

“No work?” she asks, tracing the dips between my muscles idly.

****

“I think I'll maybe do 5 hours this evening” I ended up staying 8 hours yesterday, after we got drinks Ema and I went went to see the hardware of the earpiece. It goes behind the ear rather than in it and suctions on the skin. Apparently it's what the Avengers use, excluding the telepathy. Then I helped a guy call potential test subjects until we got 10 and after that I took a snoop around the library instalment and found some pretty interesting things to skim. 

****

“I'm glad you're doing this. It makes everything more normal” she murmurs. 

****

I know how she feels about the magic, it's all too much for her that I can cast spells and open portals and almost get killed by spirits every so often. Sometimes it's too much for me too. It's a good fate though, I hate my hands but if I could get them and my job back in return for giving up magic I wouldn't do it. The sanctum is my home, the craft is my calling. 

****

As if on queue a portal opens in the room, Wong's on the other side of it. “Sanctum. Right now” that said he runs off somewhere, leaving the portal open. 

****

By the time I'm up and out of bed my robes have already morphed on my body, a sense of urgency almost has me forgetting to say bye to Chris, “I'll come back when it's over” I throw over my shoulder, not waiting for a reply before I step through the portal and close it behind me. Eventually I find Wong watching a projection in the watch room, it's a cctv view of a street not too far from here and out of an alley emerge some sort of green creatures. 

****

“I haven't seen such creatures before. They might be from I dimension we haven't explored” he crosses his arms and dons his usual frown. 

****

“not good” my blood starts to pump in anticipation for action, it seems to rub off on my cloak, which floats into the room and sits on my shoulders, collar taut and ready. 

****

“let's go” Wong opens a portal and in we hop, ending up in the same ally. We find that it actually leads to a square, with a little park in the centre and green grass. It's lined by apartments. 

****

Except a strange looking round pod is in the middle of the park and has squashed everything; the slide, swings and a couple more things destroyed beyond recognition.

****

“you find the ones on the street. I'll stay here” At my order Wong jogs off, leaving me with four creatures with reptilian skin and pointed ears climbing out of the strange pod. It occurs to me that these creatures aren't from another dimension, they're aliens.   

****

Pushing back memories of the New York attack, stride up to these creatures. They stare curiously, babbling in god knows what language. “what are you here for?” 

****

“what…” one of the creatures reply, sounding a lot like me. Then the rest of them repeat the word, like they're trying it on in a clothes store, seeing how they like it. 

****

“peace or destruction?” 

****

“peace?” another says, tilting his head to the side. He then turns to his scaly friends and repeats himself. 

****

“we come to infiltrate the humans” says the first creature that spoke, stepping forward. He sounds identical to what I sound like in videos. 

****

“why?” I step closer, hands curling into fists. 

****

“to control them” another growls, sounding Australian instead of like me. 

****

I don't waste any time in summoning two mystic blades and rushing them, they duck and jump out of the way but I manage to slash a female creatures arm. She makes an ungodly sound and dashes out of the way of another attack. One of them jumps on my back, it's horrendous scaled fingers grabbing at my chest and pulling me back. My cloak wraps around it and it screeches, fighting to get free. As soon as I see an opening I stab it in the side with my glowing blade. 

****

Before I can even turn around a kick slams me into the space pod, my hip bone smashes against it and I know it'll bruise. I manage to duck out of the way of a punch and spin around, grabbing the monsters leg and yanking hard. It falls hard on its back. I use my remaining blade to stab it in the chest, leaving it anchored to the floor. 

****

The third creature tries to jump me and I reflexively gesture to make a shield, it burns it. Then I summon two disks on each of my hands and slice an x into its chest. It falls down, a puddle of purple growing around it. Now there's one more.

****

On quick inspection it isn't anywhere to be seen, I'm alone. Until a teenage girl with brown hair up to her waist comes out of one of the entrances of the apartments.

****

“hey go back inside. It's not safe” I warn. She doesn't listen, instead going toward the pod and I. 

****

“what's going on?” she tilts her head weirdly, like she's trying too hard to be confused or inquisitive.

****

“nothing” I say courtly, starting to get irritable. I'm nervous she's going to be attacked at any moment. “come on,” I press a hand firmly to her back and lead her to the entrance she came from. 

****

I stop cold when her skin seems to dissolve to reveal the last green creature. It became her. If they can appear human it's over for all of us, they can infiltrate and control just like they want to.

****

The monster lashes at me mid thought, my dodge isn't fast enough and it scrapes my right temple. It made a cut, I can feel the burn.

****

I manage a roundhouse kick to the back, then drive my elbow into its spine, surrendering it to its knees. Quickly I kneel and grab it by the neck, opening a portal to the black dimension with my other hand; it's a vacuum, where things never return.

****

“it's too late magician. Our reign is inevitable” is the last thing it growls before I launch it into the black and promptly close the portal.

****

I take a minute just to stand and digest everything that happened. Shapeshifting aliens have come to earth to take over, and it may be too late. 

****

As I run through the alley to find Wong I wish this is all just a movie.

****

“Wong” I call once I get out onto the main street. Its empty, everyone must have ran away. He's already walking in my direction. 

****

“are you alright?”

****

“Not bad” I say as I touch my fingers to the blood trickling down the side of my face. 

****

“we got all we could but it's hard to know if any more escaped” he explains.

****

“we?”

****

“yea Tony Stark flew in to help. I told him about the pod, he said he'll deal with it” he points down the road and my heart drops into my stomach like a boulder. 

****

There he is in his rich red suit, crouching in front of an alien, his back to us, inspecting it's worn brown garments. 

****

“Wong he can't see me!” I hiss, yanking at the cloaks lapels to cover my face.

****

“Why?” he frowns.

****

“he's seen me at work!” 

****

“you didn't tell me you met him” he points out like it’s important when my not so little secrets about to be blown to high hell. 

****

“it was only yesterday” I argue, my eyes darting between the back of Tony's fluffy hair and Wongs offended expression.

****

Tony then stands and he's going to turn any second, I can see his foot pivoting and his shoulder starting to shift. Shit. “don't tell him I was here” is the last thing I say before dashing into the alley in a burst of panic and opening a portal into Christine's kitchen. I'm quick to close it behind me. 

****

In my rush to jump through the portal I knock over a colander and Christine rushes in, she's wearing her scrubs and her hairs all over the place, like she's been messing with it or got caught in a strong wind.

****

“Stephen thank God” She breathes, throwing herself at me and hugging tight.

****

“there's really no need to worry Chris. I always come back” I tip back to smile at her. It doesn't do anything for the worry in her eyes.

****

“you always come back,” she starts, running her hand between my cloak and robes. Then it stops cold and she looks me dead in the eye, “until you don't”

****

“Chris-”

****

“no Stephen despite what you believe you aren't immortal” she breaks away from me, bending over to pick up the colander and tossing it back on the counter.

****

“I'm not but I'm more than capable to defend myself against threats. I also own one of the strongest singularities in the entire universe. I'll be ok” I insist, leaning on the counter so I'm in her eye line. 

****

“maybe  _ you _ will” she grumbles, “I'm going to work” at that she leaves the kitchen. I follow.

****

“Hey don't be mad, this magic thing is good, it made me a better person” I join her at the door as she rummages in her tan handbag angrily. My words make her stop and look up.

****

“it did Stephen,” she smiles. It looks sad, “and that's why I don't like it. Because it makes me care” 

****

“I'm sorry” I whisper, holding both her hands in mime. There's nothing else to say but that. 

****

“so am I. Make sure you clean up your cut” off she goes, through the door and into a world without magic, without me. 

****

I choose not to go to work, instead falling like a deadweight on the couch and grabbing the magazine on the table in front of me. I don't tend to bother with what's essentially the gossip magazines disguised by elegant layout and font that Christine reads but maybe a break from spell books is what I need.

****

I attempt to read an interview with Mary Jane, a supermodel with straight red hair, emerald eyes and freckles. Her story about beating up a villain at her nightclub opening grabs me. She talks about hitting her over the head with a microphone stand and then that Tony Stark swooped in to save the day. It's like the man is inescapable, everywhere I turn there he is.

****

The model goes on to talk about what inspired her giving up on her dream of having her own club and I grow bored. Flicking through I catch glimpses of more stars, and beetroot based recipes, and perfume adverts, nothing of interest. Until toward the end there it is. His face. I've turned and there he is. 

****

I open the magazine on the page and see that the picture of Tony's profile wearing a blue suit and red tinted glasses is accompanied by more pictures, all organised in a line at the top of the page titled ‘Quiz’. The pictures belong to the Avengers, they only have the original six, which is fair, putting all the current Avengers on there would take a while. 

****

The first section underneath the photos says; ‘rate your Avengers on a scale of one to ten!’. I don't even think about it, it's too shallow. Then it has a which Avenger are you quiz. I can't deny having a little bit of curiosity toward who this magazine claims I'm most similar to, so I quickly go through the twenty questions, taking a mental note of which of the five answers I picked for each. The questions range from what my favourite beverage is to what kind of things I like to do in my spare time. At the bottom of the page it tells you who you are based on which letter you mostly opted for. I ended up with mostly A. Mostly A is Tony Stark.

****

I huff and toss the paper across the table.

****

* * *

 

****

“has anything about it been on the news?” I yell to Wong from where I am in the bathroom, running product through my hair with my fingers.

****

“no” he yells back from the tv room. 

****

It must be Tony and the authorities trying to avoid a moral panic. If I were a civilian and heard about shape shifting aliens that can turn into anyone's daughter I’d barricade myself indoors. 

****

“I guess it's up to us to keep watch then” I reply after I've walked into the room he's in, tucking my white shirt into navy slacks. 

****

“couldn't you attempt to get information out of your friend Stark?” he switches the TV to a rerun of Sabrina the Teenage Witch and seems satisfied to watch. 

****

“I doubt it. We've only spoken once and I don't think he'd tell me he fought aliens if I ask him what he did yesterday”

****

Wong shrugs.

****

“okay I'm off, call me if anything comes up”

****

“Yes see you” 

****

Portalling gets me to work in less than two minutes and soon enough I'm on my floor, walking into the Neuroscience block to be met with the usual buzz of people working. 

****

“Stephen great timing!” Giacometti calls, jogging to meet me where I am in front of my office, “we're just starting on our first test subject” 

****

Without argument I follow him to the lab on the far right, through the glass it looks dark enough that digital lights stand out. Once we're in I see it's laid out like an interrogation cell. There's one section with machines and screens where the researchers are and on the other side of a glass sits a subject with a huge white device on his head, it looks like a dryer in a salon. Judging by his eye tracking the glass its two way, which is good, doesn't alienate him even more than he already is by sitting on the other side of a window with a machine attached to his head. 

****

“okay Shane could you do me a favour and think about what you'd say if you won an Oscar” a woman in a lab coat wearing thick black frames and a messy bun says into a little microphone anchored to the desk while pressing down the button in front of it. 

****

The man frowns, smiling a little, then nods. We all huddle around the main screen watch the feed to his brain attentively. 

****

“okay I'm attempting to isolate the activity in the cerebrum,” the guy sitting in front of the screen says, typing quickly on his keyboard. The cerebrum controls thinking, speech, emotion, reading, learning and the senses. Luckily he shouldn't be feeling anything particularly strong and he's just sitting in a chair, the interference will be minimal. Except visual input. 

****

I slide past the messy bun lady and push the Mic button, “could you also close your eyes? Thank you” I buzz out and return to ogling the screen. As soon as he closes his eyes a lot of the green blotches covering the outer parts of his brain disappear. It's no longer reading visual information.

****

“thank you” the typing guy says. He's the bald man from the meeting I realise. 

****

“oh that might be it” Joseph says, referring to this one section of his outer brain that stands out in bold green.

****

“someone get him to stop thinking” 

****

“okay go blank” the glasses woman says into the microphone. Her key card is poking out of her breast pocket and although I can only see half of it I'll predict her name is Joanne or Joanna. 

****

The bright green spot then fades almost completely.

****

“we have it” I smile. 

****

“alright,” bald man rewinds the feed and selects the green area, isolating it, “now the software should be able to make his words code by using an alphabetical system” 

****

“could you now think of one word, any word, and keep it in your mind” Jo instructs the man.

****

We watch attentively as a line of numbers starts to form under the feed. They develop slowly and some of the units change number a couple of times before deciding on one. It's too slow. Baldy pulls up an alphabetical chart and we all scramble to decipher the word; the code reads 1811438.

****

“Ahaadch?” Ema says, frowning.

****

“no dummy there's 26 letters in the alphabet so some of these are two digit numbers” this young guy with messy black hair who looks like he hasn't slept in years says.

****

The first letter has to be R but then it gets slightly complicated, is it flowed by k then d? No, then a and n.

****

“you guys make things way harder than they need to be” Joseph chuckles, leaning over me and Jo to push the Mic button, “what was the word?” he asks the guy. Oh, smart.

****

“um… ranch” he says quietly. It's rather funny but I get more satisfaction out of it making sense, it's 18 1 14 3 8.

****

“this might be a problem” a girl says, referring to the lack of spaces. 

****

“it's only a problem if the AI has the same problem as us” Joseph comments. 

****

“let's see then” the bald man clicks something. 

****

It takes a second but the computer does speak back to us, “ranch” It says in a mechanical tone, making the word even funnier. 

****

“oh good” Joseph claps his hands together, flashing his hollywood-esque smile.

****

“not good. This is all too slow” straighten my back and huff a little. 

****

“no need to be negative Stephen” all of us turn to the door to see Tony there. He's wearing blue jeans, a white tee, a leather jacket and has sunglasses resting in his windblown hair. I want to slap myself because my first thought is that he looks hot.

****

“the AI is able to identify the word correctly, that's the foundation. It's a great thing” he explains, striding up to us. Our huddle parts like the red sea and Tony takes a place between Joseph and I. 

****

“we need to work on the voice recognition now so we can smash it all together” Giacometti says. 

****

“I struggle to see how this'll work” Tony murmurs so to himself I almost don't hear him. He leans over to look at the screen more closely and his shades somehow fall perfectly into place on his nose. He takes them off and hooks them on his back pocket. 

****

“We can't use this feed to recognise voice so what are we going to use?” I say, recognising Tony's words.

****

“we could build something into the earpiece that listens to his brain” Ema suggests. It's a nil point. Audio isn't any use to us.

****

“you're on to something Em” Tony stands straight, scratching the hair at the nape of his neck, “maybe we need to think more in hardware terms…”

****

We all wait like quiet lambs for the king to gather his thoughts.

****

“oh! Think of Adobe's voice replication software, what if we program the earpiece to listen to the user when they do speak out loud. It'll learn their voice and transmit it when they think”

****

I can't help but think of the aliens that replicated my voice and shudder.

****

“what if the wearer only puts it in in battle and it doesn't have time to recognise their voice?” the bald man asks. 

****

“then they should wear it for a day when they first receive it and all owners should have a personal pair” Tony replies. 

****

“and even if they don't have time the device can work off of a few words and make the closest it can to the voice. It doesn't have to be spot on as long as it's recognisable” I add.

****

“exactly,” Tony offers an approving smile, “okay Joseph run to tech and tell them the update” 

****

Giacometti falters, like he wants to object, probably to say that's my job, because it sounds like it should be my job. He decides against it, instead nodding and leaving the room.

****

“Alright Strange what will you do with the rest of your team?” Tony eyes me expectantly. A test. 

****

“we need to seriously up the decipher speed. I want some of you on that. The rest keep running tests to make sure we have reliable evidence that  the AI translates right” 

****

“he'll leave you to it” Tony finishes, gesturing for me to exit the lab with him.

“what are you doing here?” I ask him once we're back into the fully lit research area. I realise that sounds a little rude. 

****

“I knew the test was scheduled now and wanted to have a look” 

****

“oh” I nod along as we walk.

****

“what happened to…” he gestures at his temple and I realise after a second he's talking about my cut.

****

“Oh you know, there's always a thug around a corner waiting to take your wallet in New York” I shrug, looking straight ahead. 

****

“did he get it?”

****

“nope I fought him off”

****

“that's dangerous Stephen” I look at him and he's not kidding. 

****

“I'm shocked you of all people would say that”

****

“well I know that if I weren't Iron Man that would be dangerous for me”

****

“really?” I raise a disbelieving eyebrow. He's not helpless without a suit, he can't be, he wouldn't have survived this long.

****

“No,” he laughs, “I’ve spared with Black Widow I think I'd be fine” 

****

I tap my office door and expect him to say his goodbyes but instead he follows me in, taking a seat on one of my white guest chairs. No problem with that. “seriously are you okay? Do you get into situations like that often?”

****

“not too much. How are you?” I ask to change the conversation, then realise it sounds to friendly and it may be out of line, “I mean it's none of my business-” 

****

“well… I had a date last night and I definitely looked like an idiot” he sighs, bumping the back of his head against the glass behind him and shutting his eyes. 

****

“you? An idiot?” I deadpan, sitting on the edge of my desk where Tony was the last time we spoke.

****

“she's really smart and screwed on” he argues in a mumble.

****

“still”

****

“despite what you think I'm not the most intelligent being in the world” 

****

“oh no everything I've learned is a lie” I declare dramatically. 

****

“I'm just so famous” he groans, not seeming to be joking at all. 

****

“oh that's terrible” I burst out laughing. What kind of complaint is that? 

****

“Hey don't laugh. Did you know I'm actually not the richest man on earth?” he leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees and smiling despite telling me not to show amusement.

****

“no?” now that does surprise me more. Tony's always at the top of every rich list, Forbes richest every year without fail.

****

“I'm  _ friends _ with the richest man on earth. The only difference is that the world doesn't know him. Everyone knows my name, my face”

****

“do you ever get fed up of being seen as the best and the most?” 

****

“at times, but the amount of people that think I'm pure trash balances me out” he admits.

****

“that's extreme, I mean I imagined you'd be an asshole before I met you but pure trash is a bit much”  

****

“did you really?” he laughs a little, not seeming hurt at all.

****

“well… obviously I think you're brilliant and usually when people are too good to be true there's something wrong. You seem perfectly nice though” 

****

“brilliant? Well thank you Stephen I'm flattered” he leans back again, resting one arm over the back of the empty chair next to him. His t shirt rides just a little, showing a thin strip of skin, and I'm too busy debating how built he is under his clothes to feel embarrassed at the blatant compliment I just gave him. Is there nothing? Is he toned? Or maybe he's really defined. 

****

_ You have a girlfriend Stephen. Stop it.  _

****

“but don't be too relieved. There are a lot of things about me that aren't brilliant or nice”

****

“don't we all have an ugly side?” I reach behind me for a half full water bottle I left here my first day and take a drink.

****

“I ain't think you need to worry too much. Every angle I've seen you from is very much not ugly” Again, that gaze so heavy it could sink a ship. 

****

“so the woman? Are you going to see her again?” I ask, hasty to overlook that as if it'll make me go any less pink or choke any less on water.

****

“I think so, but as friends. I realised when I got home that there's a reason I vowed not to date anymore normal people, because I would be the worst thing that ever happened to them. I mean Pepper almost died because of me, a few times” 

****

His words hit me harder than most ten foot monsters have. Christine is normal, I'm not, and that's chipping away at her. I may not have realised it but what if I am the worst thing that's happened to her.

****

“that's sound logic” 

****

“I'm glad you think so” he sighs, looking at his watch. “oh I have an Audi launch to get to” he springs up before stretching his arms over his head. Something clicks. 

****

“have a good time” I stand too, wiping my hands on my pants even though there's nothing on them.

****

“I will. I'll see you soon?” he asks, leaning on my door frame. 

****

“you know how to find me” I smile warmly at him, he smiles back, and off me goes. Again I watch him leave until I can't see him any longer. 

****

It hits me that he took me out of important work just to make small talk. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did ya like the Shane Dawson cameo?


	3. Collision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Defeated by primates and lost one person that matters and one that could. What does Stephen have left other than misery?

During my second week working for SI I begin to realise the issue with having a normal job and being committed to protect our reality. It's Thursday and I've already missed a meeting and the first field testing of our earpiece because I've had to expel demons to the dark dimension or kill mutant plants. 

****

I'm falling behind, and that's how I end up staying at work all through the night  and into the morning. It's 2:30 am and I'm hunched over my laptop watching the field test. My arms ache from plant lacerations and other parts hurt just from having to fight for my life but it's important I stay in the loop or I'll be left behind. There's no space for slackers in technology. 

****

It's hard to tell what's going on when the missions been set up specifically without talking so I have to watch two people wearing white fighting another two people in black in what looks like an abandoned town. It's a mission set up so that communication is critical to win so I know they must be communicating but I can't see vitals or code or waves because I had to have been there in the moment. 

****

I make my peace knowing that a lot of people would be dead if Wong and I didn't take down those threats. 

****

In the video I can clearly see strategy, one coming from the left, another from the right, coordinated attacks, huddles, which means they are communicating but it's hard to know how much delay there is or how much of it is speak and how much of it is just signalling or common sense. 

****

Groaning, I sit up and click my laptop closed, deciding to just take the documents with the written assessment of the test and the meeting notes to read tomorrow morning and get into a bed. When I shut my door behind me the automatic light in my office turns off and the floors dark, only lit up by a couple computers and the tease of a rising Sun outside. 

****

After the elevator goes down two floors I find that I can't stand the whole way down, my lower back and shoulders beg me not to, so I sit, it grinds my knees to do so but I try to get as comfortable as one can in the corner of an elevator, rest my head and shut my eyes, listening to the buzz of it running down the tower. 

****

A voice and something shaking my arm wakes me with a start. How did I fall asleep so quickly?

****

“Jesus Stephen are you okay?” I look into Tony's rich brown eyes. I never noticed how long long lashes are, they're pretty. 

****

“uhuh” I mumble, finding worry in his features. Did he think I passed out?

****

“What are you doing here?”

****

“I missed some stuff, I was catching up”

****

“oh I know how that is. But come on, I'll drive you home so you can sleep. I don't expect seeing you here again before noon okay?” he extends a hand to me and at first I don't want to take it, so he won't feel the scars running from my fingers to my wrist, so he won't feel them tremble, but this is Tony Stark, he's read my file, probably, he knows. So I take his hand and he hoists me up, much more easily than I expected actually. 

****

Trust my luck when I'm fully up something pulls in the back of my thigh.

****

“shit” I grab it tightly as if it'll make the cramp go away. No such luck.

****

“Stephen seriously what's going on?” Tony grabs my elbows to support me in my struggle to stand straight. 

****

“I'm almost 40. Probably that” 

****

“come on I'm almost 50 and I only have heart failure, otherwise I'm in perfect health. So what's really wrong?”

****

“you have heart failure?” It's scary how much that worries me and I barely know the man.

****

“no I'm exaggerating. Spill Stephen” 

****

I scramble to find an excuse, “I do martial arts and they put me up against a serious guy. He did some stuff” I'm quite proud of myself, half of the statement isn't a lie, I do practice martial arts at Kamar Taj. 

****

“okay,” he taps his black card to the elevator panel, “92”. It closes its doors and the jerks back up again.

****

“where are we going?” I ask Tony as he sits up against the wall, I join him, back in my corner spot. 

****

“I have some machines I can hook you up to” 

****

I raise a brow at him, hoping he knows that sounds like he wants to drain my life force to make him young or something. 

****

“they'll loosen your muscles” 

****

I nod and sort of stare at nothing, again listening to the quiet sound of the elevator going up and up. 

****

Tony's wearing a black shirt, sleeves rolled to his elbows, and black slacks. I wonder where he's been, maybe a business thing, maybe a bar, it works for both. I glance at him, the shirts got to buttons undone at the top and I can see just the edge of a blue light shining away.

****

“it's not in my chest anymore, I got it surgically removed,” he explains, clearly having caught me looking, then reaches into his shirt and with two clicks it comes off in his hand, he shows it to me and it's thin like a phone, not wired to his chest at all. 

****

“that's good”

****

“Yep villains were getting really good at just ripping it out of my chest and leaving me to die slowly. Plus, it was an attempt at a normal life” he puts the chest plate back into his top, it makes another clicking sound and he palms his chest a few times just to make sure it's secure. 

****

“attempt? Didn't work out then?” 

****

“of course not. I still go off to fight aliens. I tried the normal thing for Pepper, I thought I wanted it too but I quickly realised I'm not ready. I want to be Iron Man, I always will be even when I'm too old to get out of bed, I  _ am _ him you know?,” he sighs, “and of course I lost Pepper. It killed me but it was the right thing in the end”

****

“and now you won't date normal girls. It all fits”

****

He looks like he wants to correct me on something but closes his mouth, deciding against it. 

****

The elevator opens on this beautiful, vast lab space. We walk in and it takes effort to walk without limping at the cramp but I manage, walking with him across a black floor and going up some floating stairs to the right, holding on to the rail to ease the burn in my legs.

****

Luckily the room we end up in is right next to the stairs. There's a stretcher bed next to a machine mounted to the glass wall. There's also a few machines mounted around the room. 

****

Tony pushes the bed to the wall and pulls up a chair in the middle of the room, “sit and loose the cardigan” he orders, going into the corner to get some machines. 

****

I do as he says, putting my papers on the bed then taking off my black cardigan and draping it over the back of the chair before sitting in it. I feel vulnerable in just a grey t shirt, recognising the skin on my forearms is still red from the mutant plants. I can pass it off. 

****

Tony wheels up two machines, one on either side of me. He unhooks a black sleeve from one and takes gentle hold of my wrist, slipping it on my arm. It's a little tight, but not enough to be uncomfortable. On the push of two or three buttons the sleeve starts to vibrate. He then moves to my other arm to repeat the process. 

****

“so what excuse do you have for being about this late?” I ask to not make it too awkward.

****

“I had an Avengers meeting in the compound, upstate Hudson, then I stayed there with Rhodey to help him tweak his suit, then he went home and I stayed to do tech stuff. Then I came here to go to bed” he explains, turning on the second machine. It feels quite nice to have the buzz running through me. 

****

“you live here?”

****

“I have a house, a couple, but sometimes I feel like saying here, or the compound, it depends on my mood” he pulls up a stool and sits opposite me, at an angle. 

****

“that's the richest thing you've ever said to me” I laugh. It's strange laughing, it's not something I do much. 

****

“you don't relate?” he asks, seeming half sarcastic half actually curious.

****

“I haven't seen money for a very long time trust me”

****

“wait really? You don't have money from when you were a doctor, weren't you making serious cash?” Tony frowns, resting his elbow on top of one of the machines. 

****

“I was. You may not know it yet, but loosing everything is much easier than it seems” I say, to the floor, it's too real to look him in the face and say those words. Thankfully he seems to detect I don't exactly want to get into it and occupies himself by slipping off the first sleeve he put on and pulling the machine behind me. 

****

“good thing you're on my pay roll now” He says with a light tone.

****

“very good”

****

“do you mind if I just pull up the back of your top?” 

****

“um… Alright” my brows draw together in confusion until my top slowly lifts from the back. It prickles at it's exposure and I know it's the feeling of anticipating touch. 

****

Instead I feel to silicone disks press to each of my shoulder blades, not warm fingers. I wonder if they're calloused from fighting and building. 

****

He let's my top fall and again vibrations go through my torso. If feels soothing. 

****

“how many people work for SI?”

****

“I couldn't give you an exact number, that's Peppers area, but worldwide maybe 300,000?” he goes to my other arm and removes the sleeve, replacing it with these two strips of black that he wraps around my thigh and shin, tightly. Again the machine turns on and my leg shakes. It's definitely weird but something tells me it'll help, it must if Tony's even spending his time doing it. 

****

“why are you here with me when you have 299,999 employees to choose from?” I have to ask. What makes me worth his time? 

****

“hello? I bumped into you in the elevator” he shoots a confused smile, waiting for me to catch up.

****

“oh good point” that was an idiotic question. 

****

“also you're Stephen Strange! I've wanted to meet you for like two years” he sits in the stool again, it rolls back a little at the force of it. 

****

It's not every day you expect to be in a situation where the most famous man in New York and arguably all of America says he's been wanting to meet you, a guy who's saved a few lives, written a few papers and won a few prizes. 

****

“I feel like I'm in a parallel universe”

****

“Trust me I get that all the time”

****

Little does he know I actually have been in parallel universes, so to speak. 

****

Eventually Tony's done all of my extremities and my back and it's time to remove them. He starts from behind then kneels in front of me to remove the bands on my legs. The very last one causes problems, the cable attached to it seems to be stuck somewhere, Tony takes a snoop around to find that it's lodged in the gap between the chair back and seat. He tries a simple tug at first but all that does is pull the machine closer to us. 

****

“well this is awkward” he murmurs, leaning over to inspect the situation. He doesn't seem to realise he's incredibly close, “okay you're gonna grab the left side and I'll grab the right, try to shimmy it out, and be careful I don't want to have to replace this” 

****

We do as he says but it doesn't budge. Tony realises he's not holding the cable quite right so he decides to put one knee on the edge of the chair, pressed up to my leg, to get a better angle. Half of me wants to offer to just get out of the chair but there's no need to bother him when he's so focused on the task. And my focus quickly fades from that task and to Tony's body so close to mine, so much so I barely hear him when he says we got it out. 

****

For a moment I watch his chest rise and fall, and notice that the chest plate slightly powders blue light over his collarbones, making the dips in them all the more sharp. Then I look up at him and it hits me that with one move our noses would be touching, with one shift he’d be sitting in my lap. His eyes stare into mine with a quiet intensity, flicking down every so often to show of his thick lashes. His eyes, they're so round.  

****

I look down too, at his lips, then they part slightly, as if my pupils commanded him to do so.

****

Then it  _ hits _ me.

****

“I have to go” a gentle pressure on his arm gets Tony to move promptly, standing a little too straight and making space for me to get up. I don't look at him as I slip on my cardigan and gather my papers, holding them against my chest as if they’ll block the strange feeling in it.

****

“are you feeling okay?” Now that he says it, my legs don't burn when I walk and my shoulders feel a lot less knotted.

****

“Yea thank you” I finally look at him to find he's got his hands in his pockets and is looking at everything but my face. 

****

“let me drive you home” Tony leads the way out of the room, again not looking at me as he passes. 

****

“no that's okay” I insist as the elevator doors close. We both stand facing them, our hands deep in our pockets.  

****

“it's 3 am” he points out.

****

“I'll be fine” I insist. 

****

“do you drive?” 

****

“no”

****

“so please let me-” 

****

“I'm walking” I sound clipped when I say it, I feel clipped, he's starting to make me prickle in a not good way. 

****

We stand in silence for the rest of the journey, when the doors open I decisively stride out. Tony follows.

****

“with company?” He asks. This has to be his 180th question within two minutes. 

****

“no” A fuse lights.

****

“look if you don't want me to walk with you let me get someone”

****

It burns fast. 

****

“what's your deal? I'm not 10 years old I don't need you to protect me!” I yell over my shoulder. Desperate to get out of this conversation, I up my pace. 

****

“you don't know what's out there Stephen, it makes me worry” 

****

The spark reaches the bomb.

****

I stop and turn to him, my face burns and it must show as Tony stops cold, suddenly looking vulnerable, “I know exactly what's out there! I may work for you but I'm  _ not _ your pet!” 

****

I don't wait for Tony to respond to my yell, instead turning on my heel and storming out of the tower with nails digging into palm and face burning. 

****

Two streets later the wind cools me and I slow until my feet drag. I made a mistake.

****

* * *

 

****

The incident with Tony becomes a problem. The next evening Wong and I are in a fight in an alley and I can't quite focus on all the ninja primates coming at us from every angle. 

****

“Stephen you're all off” Wong has to enchant a shield to cover me from a flying monkey.

****

“I know. I'm sorry” as soon as I say that I'm grabbed by the cloak and tossed away from Wong, against a trash bin. He becomes busy with three vicious adversaries so I'm left alone to deflect about five. Every shield I make is broken and I have to make a new one in a new position, it's hard to keep up. 

****

One gets through and slams it's foot into my ribs. It hurts like hell but I don't have the time to whine, I grab it by the leg and use it to trip up another ninja. The other three all come at me at once, one rips my cloak away from me and the other two thrash at me, my forearms get cut up in an attempt to cover my face. Two hairy hands grab me and push me onto the floor, leaving my face open. A hand slashes at me and a stinging pain shoots in my face as a dirty claw cuts the skin over my cheekbone open. 

****

Finally I remember a useful spell and cast it; a ball of white energy bursts from me and expels them all, slamming them unconscious against walls. 

****

Cloak and I reunite and we lift off the ground to dodge an oncoming opponent. What I didn't see is the primate springing from a wall and rushing at me with a samurai sword. The cloak pulls me away but not fast enough, the sword slices my side and I have to yell out.

****

I command the cloak to fly me to a roof but a ninja grabs on to it, pulling it off me completely. I plummet to the floor and everything goes dark. 

****

The sound of steady beeping wakes me, I recognise it, I'm in a hospital.

****

No. 

****

I sit up abruptly, looking around frantically. My eyes land on Christine. Sweet Christine.

****

Sweet Christine looks pissed. Her eyes are cold and she's standing by me with her arms crossed over her chest. 

****

“hey… how did I get here?” My voice comes out a lot quieter than I anticipated.

****

“Wong portaled your  _ limp _ body to me” she's speaking through her teeth, she does that when she's really angry, and I see that a lot, because I’m awful.

****

“I wasn't on my game” I scrub my face and wince at the pull of my cut, I forgot it was there. Christine put a plaster on it. 

****

“last night you didn't even come back” she says just as coldly.

****

“I was behind on work and I-”

****

“you were behind on work because you were fighting monsters” again, freezing temperatures fill her voice.

****

“Yes I had to”

****

“ _ why _ do you have to do this?” she throws her hands up then grabs the edge of my bed, staring me in the face with a set jaw. 

****

“you know why, the Ancient One confided in me to protect our reality” she did so well, I owe it to her to continue her work and do it well, not like today's shambles. 

****

“do you realise how crazy you sound? I thought for a second Wong brought me a dead man!” 

****

“I told you I don't die” I gather her small hands in mine and try to assure her with a smile. 

****

“you  _ will _ die Stephen, look at you! And I'm not going to be here to watch you do it” she pushes away and walks toward the double doors, I pull my heart monitor off my chest and peruse her, grabbing her wrist, ignoring the pain in both my sides.

****

“Christine you're amazing, you're all the good I have in my life” I tell her, and it's true. She's everything, she's the only normal, the only safe. 

****

“is that so? Then leave the sorcery” she's not kidding, her eyes pierce into mine and don't relent. 

****

The ultimate ultimatum; my love or my life. 

****

We stand there for what feels like an eon and all my thoughts come to one conclusion; I can't leave the mystic arts, they aren't just a duty they're a love. All at once I realise I don't really love Christine, I love the idea of her. And I remember Tony's words; I'm the worst thing that's ever happened to her. 

****

“I can't” I whisper, feeling a dreadful pain grow in my chest at what's about to happen.

****

“I wish you the best Stephen” she smiles at me and it's beautiful. But when she turns around and leaves it's all gone. 

****

This is for the best. It is. 

****

For the first time since the accident I cry.


	4. Masks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephen is forced to blow his cover when he and Tony receive a visit from a Ghost.

There's vibrations, they clatter in my head.

****

Then I realise I've fallen asleep on my desk and sit up like a rod to face Giacometti knocking on the hardwood.

****

“you look rough”

****

“thanks” it's been three days since the monkeys and the break up and I haven't slept since, my torso screams in pain at any move I make, and I wonder, I wonder what I'll do without Christine, whether I made the right choice, and what will happen with Tony.

****

“I'm taking you to Tony's office” 

****

Oh god. 

****

I slowly rise from my chair and manage to follow after him. I feel like a slug, dragging my lifeless body around.

****

“you see I wanted a meeting with you but Tony said he'd take it instead”

****

“I'm getting fired aren't I?”

****

“slow down man, I can't speak for Stark but I'm not planning to fire you, we need to know what's going on” he explains as we slide into the elevator. He swipes a black card with ‘guest’ written on it with block white capitals and calls for the 91st floor. 

****

“I… It's all a mess” I sigh, my shoulders sagging even further. 

****

“gather your thoughts and save it for Tony” 

****

Tony. I yelled at him when he was just trying to protect me. I should have understood, I do understand, I've seen people die and I've seen people hurt. He's seen more. It makes every moment of life a threat. And now he's called a meeting to fire me, because I'm too thick to have understood him when I had the chance.

****

We step out the elevator and it's right there, Tony's office, only a few feet away. It's like mine, glass walls, green plants, wooden furniture, except a million times bigger. And Tony's in there, sat at his desk staring intently at his black laptop. When we get closer I notice he's chewing on the end of a pen.

****

“you'll be fine” Joseph squeezes my shoulder before knocking on Tony's glass door for me. He looks up and it opens automatically. 

****

Joseph walks off and leaves me. Traitor. 

****

“hey” Tony says as I hesitantly step in, he sounds like he's trying not to break me with how soft his tone is, “sit” 

****

I take a seat in the chair on the other side of his desk and at the same moment he stands, circling his own chair and gripping the back of it. The view outside his office is more amazing than mine, the pale blue sky continues endlessly behind him, featuring outline of Manhattan and the bluer ocean around it. 

****

“The reason I asked to take this meeting is because I didn't think you'd want to talk to me voluntarily and I need to apologise for my behaviour”

****

That surprises me. I was clearly in the wrong. “you don't”

****

“Yes I do. I was overstepping” he insists. 

****

“I was being rash Tony, I know you were just genuinely concerned, so I'm sorry” As simple as that, we smile at one another and all the bad air is blown out the window. Miracles are real.

****

“what happened to your face?” he asks.

****

“I, um, what's this meeting for?” How do I explain being attacked by a ninja monkey from a reality where ninja monkeys are a thing?

****

He eyes me up suspiciously but takes my bait, “I'm told that you often have to leave work for ‘emergencies’”

****

“Yes and I apologise, I always catch up with what I miss” 

****

“We value transparency here, it helps our relationship as workers, so if you don't mind could you tell my why you have emergencies?” he finally sits back in his chair, leaning closer and waiting attentively for my answer. He’s so intense in everything he does.

****

“I…” I don't want to lie to him, he doesn't deserve it. 

****

“is it a sick relative? Are you sick yourself? Is it something to do with your cut?”

****

“my friend, he fell down the stairs at work and had a trauma to his head. He's forgotten a lot and sometimes he gets lost or goes on rampages” I explain, to cut off his questions. The excuse is solid enough hopefully. Not living a double life must be nice.

****

“He's all I have and I'm all he has” I add, and I finally feel like I'm talking about Wong, he really is my only friend and he's stuck with me through a lot. 

****

“okay thank you for letting me know. I can organise some kind of care for him” there's something empty or systematic about the way he says that, probably because he can tell I’m lying through my teeth.

****

“he didn't want it, I already suggested it, he says he doesn't want to be constantly reminded that he's not well” I feel like an idiot spinning this story.

****

“this is all fine, you're still making your hours and you did say you keep up with the work so you're good”

****

“really? You're not going to punish me?”

****

“what? No. We just needed to know why that was going on” Tony shoots an amused smile, I flash a thankful one back, trying to push the guilt out of it. 

****

“thank you” my eyes drift and are caught by a cabinet to the left of the office, it's empty inside but what interests me are the framed pictures placed on its surface. 

****

“come take a closer look” Tony springs up and walks to the cabinet with me following behind. “that's Vision” he points at the picture on the far left, it's him and a red skinned man, Tony's arm around him like he had to drag him into the picture. I've seen him, in visions, the stone in his forehead is the mind stone.

****

“I'm one of his four dads. Lucky guy,” he points to the next one, “Bruce Banner and I”

****

I look at the man, who's somehow shorter than Tony, standing next to him in glasses and a lab coat. He looks awkward and his glasses are a little too low down on his face. That's really the Hulk. 

****

The third picture strikes me, because Tony's posing with that boy from the elevator. They really do look like father and son, like they belong side by side, like that arm Tony's got around him is ready to protect him from the world.

****

“I know this kid” I point at his young face.

****

“really? This is Peter” he picks up the photo and looks at it fondly. 

****

“Yea I've seen him here twice. He said I have a cool goatee”

****

“I have to agree with him” Tony comments, brushing his thumb along the black frame of the picture before carefully putting it back exactly how it was.

****

“he also asked me if you inspired it”

****

“of course he did” he laughs, shaking his head, “did I?”

****

“unfortunately not, it sort of just happened” I shrug. It did, I wanted my beard gone but then thought I should look different to what I did before the accident, because I am different, very different. 

****

“well looks like we're accidental facial hair bros” Tony grins, it lights up his whole face and has me starstruck for a second.

****

“facial hair bros?” I school my expression into something unimpressed. 

****

“Yea!” 

****

He's a ball of sunshine, he must have broken free of the sun and flown to earth, that has to be it. 

****

The next picture is him and Pepper, she looks upright and pleasant, as always, then Rhodes, he's wearing army uniform and Tony's in a suit and shades, I can tell by his hair it was windy when they took that, then Thor, he has his hand in Tony's hair and he's grinning wide. Tony however looks grumpy that the god messed up his hair. 

****

The last picture is face down, we both look at it, then at each other. Tony slides it off the side of the cabinet and it neatly falls into the bin next to it. 

****

“these are all the people I care about” he explains, blowing over what just happened. Unfortunately for him the picture landed face up in the trash and it's him and Steve Rogers. Steve's kissing his cheek and Tony looks so happy with him. 

****

Yet now he's in a bin. Things can change so much. 

****

“now sit, I'm not done with you” he moves his chair out the way and presses his palms to his desk as I sit, remembering Tony isn't some friend, he's my boss. 

****

“I'm going to ask you one more time and I hope you can trust me with the truth. If you can't that's okay, I won't ask again,” he pauses, “what happened to your face?”

****

“you remember I said I do martial arts, sometimes we get into accidents” I fib, praying he can't see my bandages through my grey shirt. Of course he can't, I'm being paranoid. 

****

For what feels like minutes he holds my stare. For a smaller man, power radiates off him in tons where he stands. “I see” he leans off the table. Again he doesn't believe me, and it hurts that I to lie. But I have to. 

****

There's a beat of silence, a small disk flies onto the glass behind Tony. It flashes red twice. I don't have time to warn him before shards of glass burst everywhere. A sharp frequency rings in my ears and I instinctively dive out of the chair to take cover behind the desk. Only some small bits of glass caught me, I feel the thin cuts on my forehead.

****

Tony. 

****

The floor drenched in glass is irrelevant as I crawl around the desk as fast as I can considering the wind blowing into the room poses a noticeable resistance. Tony's lying on the floor and the Iron Man suit is formed around him. There's a huge bit of 3 inch glass next to him. It must have hit him and knocked him out, and the suit is likely to have been activated as a failsafe. 

****

“Tony?” I crawl closer and knock on his face plate. A groan comes out of it, I sigh in relief. 

****

“what's happening?” he reaches up to his face, shifting position. 

****

“Good question” Slowly I stand, looking out into the sky for where the explosive came from. There's nothing. 

****

Then all of a sudden this white blur rushes at me and grabs me, throwing us both over the desk. I land hard on my back and find myself looking into red orbs. It's a person, wearing a white mask with glowing red eyes. 

****

I'm about to blast it in the face when Tony blasts it instead, into the opposite glass. I look his way to see him leaning on the desk, he's clearly still off balance.

****

Then Pepper runs into the room, eyes wild, “Tony what's happening!”

****

“Pepper get out of here!” he yells back, it's desperate. And it should be, because the person in white lunges for her. 

****

I open a portal under her feet at the last second, and with a scream she's gone, to the sanctum with Wong. The intruder just falls on nothing. 

****

“Pepper!” Tony lunges but I stop him with a hand on his metal chest. 

****

“She's fine, with a friend” 

****

“ _ you _ did that?” 

****

I don't have time to answer, the intruder dives for Tony and topples them both out of the tower. The battle becomes airborne, Tony attacking with beams and the white suited person dodging using their jetpack.

****

I could leave. I could turn around and make up an excuse for the portal. 

****

I watch Tony, dodging lasers from the white figures gun, then deploying a sword and fighting up close. The villain slaps something into Tony's chest and it explodes, sending him hurtling to the ground. 

****

Quickly I run to the edge of the tower and manage to open a portal under his falling form, transporting him back into the office. He lands so hard it cracks the marble floor. 

****

I can't leave him, my secret isn't worth that much. So, I open a portal to the sanctum and reach in to grab my cloak, if falls on its own on my shoulders and I transform into my robes. It's all out now.

****

I propel off of the ground and fly toward the intruder, starting with a simple kick to the chest. I go right through them. I'm put in a headlock and dragged down fast. They must have cut the jetpack, and my cloak is lodged between our bodies so if I don't do something soon I'll be slammed into the pavement. So I create a copy of myself and have it blast a beam at the white figure. When I'm free the cloak steadies my flight and my clone absorbs back onto my body. 

****

The white assailant is perched on the glass if the tower like a spider, watching me where I hover. “what are you?” the person asks me, it's hard to hear over the roaring wind but it's a voice distorted most likely by a device in the helmet.

****

“Master of the Mystic Arts, unfortunately for you. Who are you and what do you want?”

****

“I am Ghost” then they glitch out of view. 

****

I portal to the office to check on Tony, who's fighting with Ghost. Did they teleport?

****

I don't bother watch them this time, casting red tendrils and having them wrap around Ghosts neck, using them to pull them through the desk, ripping it in half, and outside the tower again.

****

“what the hell Stephen? You're a super!” Tony strides up to me, speaking with excessively broad hand gestures.

****

“I obviously have a lot to explain, maybe not now though” I tell him, looking over my shoulder for the danger.

****

That's that, I open a portal under my feet and open another over Ghosts head, grabbing them. They go transparent, literally, I end up hugging myself. “we have a problem” I tell Tony when he flies to join me.

****

“Yes I have a lot of those right now” he looks at me and without seeing his face I know its sharp.

****

“Ghost has an intangible ability, we need to find a way to circumvent that if we want to have a chance”

****

“I know a little about that thanks to Vision, there's usually a high enough frequency to imbalance it” He explains, spinning around in hopes of spotting Ghost. Are they teleporting too?

****

“which I'm sure you have built into your suit” 

****

“Yes the issue is it'll blow your brain to pieces” he explains too casually. 

****

“sometimes that's welcome. Don't worry I have a trick up my sleeve” I click the eye of Agamotto.  

****

“because you're a  _ fucking wizard _ ?” 

****

I glare at him. “I am not a  _ wizard _ ”

****

“Really? Because you're flying around in a cape and can cast spells”

****

I’m about to snap back when I’m shot in the shoulder with a beam. It feels like a bee sting, but so much worse. 

****

Tony practically turbo blasts at Ghost, ramming them both into the tower so hard the 3 inch glass cracks around them. Then Ghost disappears again, and appears right in front of my face. Somehow Tony's already back where we are and slams them over the head with a massive mallet from his suit. Finally they’re unconscious, but also falling through the sky, which is a bit of a problem. 

****

I teleport to them and grab them by the waist, it's definitely a woman's waist, but gender doesn't matter when my cloak can’t handle our weight and we’re still plummeting to the ground. 

****

The wind forces water out of my eyes at its resistance but I persevere, managing to open a portal under us, which opens up again parallel to the roof of the tower. Falling still, but with more time for me to cast a floating platform and hit it face first. My nose won't recover from it anytime soon.

****

I spy Tony flying toward us and extend the platform so he has space to slow to a standstill after landing. 

****

“What are we doing with her when we’re done?” We both stand over her unconscious body lying on my bright orange enchantment. 

****

“I already called some SHIELD people” Tony peers over the edge of the platform wearily. 

****

“Alright” I kneel next to her and make the necessary gestures to activate the eye, the time stone shines bright green and I position my hands, both splayed open, one closer and one further from my body. I will the enchantment I want to close around my wrist, it looks like a barred bracelet, but made of green magic, then press my hand to the centre of her chest and watch the bracelet fall onto her, becoming a floating circle on her chest, kind of like Tony’s chest piece. 

****

“She’s frozen in time. The Enchantment won't break until I chose to break it” I explain to Tony once I stand. He doesn't say anything so I busy myself with directing the platform to Tony’s office, holding on to his metal bicep when he stumbles. 

****

“Is that an infinity stone?” He finally asks when we’re back in the tower, standing on glass and surrounded by destruction. Interestingly the only untouched thing in the room is the cabinet with the photographs on it.

****

“Yes. The time stone. You take one side” I throw Ghosts arm over my shoulders to demonstrate what I’m on about. It makes my shoulder sting more but complaint is not for the likes of us who get shot and stabbed on a day by day. 

****

“You’re… you’re super OP, why haven't I heard of you?” He asks as he mimics my gesture on Ghosts other side. I decide not to ask what OP means. 

****

“We who practice the mystic arts aren't fond of exposing ourselves to the outside world”

****

“This is way too much to take in” He retracts his helmet and scrubs his face viciously. I hadn't thought that his hair would look so disrupted, but of course it would and its cute. 

****

“I’ll explain once we’re done with her” At that I open a portal to the main entrance of the tower and head to it. Tony not stepping with me yanks me back. 

****

“I’m not going in that” he says firmly, glass crunches under his feet as he steps away from it. 

****

I’m about to ask him why when I see the look in his eyes. They're haunted, like they’re reliving torture and death and things one should never have to see. I close it and lead us to the elevator. 

****

“What do you think she wants?” I ask him after he’s overridden the elevator standstill due to the tower being in emergency lockdown, the flashing red lights and siren make me feel dazed. 

****

“She’s an assassin who works for companies like A.I.M, they always want something of mine, whether its plans for a new hadron collider or an Iron Man suit. I’ll let SHIELD get it out of her” 

****

We get her out of the tower where a woman with wavy blonde hair and another one with shorter brown hair wait next to a van. A perimeters already been blocked off around the tower, there's bits of glass scattered around the pavements and tops of abandoned cars.

****

The two women take Ghost from us and sit her limp body on a bench in the van before slamming the doors shut. I wonder if we should trust them, until the one with brown hair comes up to Tony and gives him a big hug, they smile at each other and catching up about each other's lives. I guess she can be trusted then.

****

Tony and I changed back to our usual clothes in the elevator and while he's still the great Tony Stark, without my cape and robes I'm just Stephen the bystander, not quite knowing what to do with myself. Luckily Tony and the woman finish talking soon after and she leaves with the other agent in the van. Once Tony's spoken to a guy with a clipboard about the damage to the tower he finally comes back to me where I'm standing next to a red mini. 

****

“sorry about that” he scratches his nape. 

****

“no worries. Let's go get Pepper. Where's your car?” It physically hurts me to say that but I owe it to him, for the yelling. And I can't put him through the portal thing again. 

****

“ah, in the lot” he signals for me to follow him and we go back into the tower, then down the fire stairs next to the elevators.The parking lots lights each turn on when we pass them, illuminating a vast array of cars from flashy to pedestrian. One of the cars we pass is the same one I used to have before I smashed it to pieces. I start to dread this more. I haven't been in a car since and I never want to be in one again, it makes the memories too vivid. 

****

Eventually we reach an orange Audi and Tony unlocks it with a key. Now I have to get in. Tony opens the drivers side, I open the passenger. When he doesn't go in I look up and see he's staring at me.

****

“we're walking” he decides, pushing the door shut, he must have seen it in my eyes, the same thing I saw in his when I opened the portal.

****

Releaf consumes me like a warm bath and I'm so happy to close this orange door and never look back. But I can't, I can't be afraid of cars forever, it's irrational. 

****

“no. I'm fine” to make a point I step in and sit, fully pulling the door shut. It's awful, it feels like a prison, the space is too small, it smells like spinning off a cliff, it feels like landing nose first on the rocks. 

****

I want to throw up. 

****

Tony gets in and starts up the car after I give him the sanctums address. The soft roar of the engine makes my hands feel like a sheet of metal has been slipped between the skin. 

****

“Stephen you're really white” 

****

“Drive Tony” I snap, wanting this to end. Please end. 

****

There's a moment of delay before he gently pushes the acceleration and pulls out of the space. 

****

_ Tony's a good driver, Tony's a good driver.  _

****

I repeat it to myself like a mantra about 40 times. When I look up we've only exited the car park. I groan inside.

****

“so magic huh?” he asks when we're on the road. We pass a speed limit sign and I look at the dashboard to make sure he's in it. He's one or two mph under the limit. 

****

_ Tony's a good driver. He’s not careless like I was.  _

****

Tony never drives like this, it's common knowledge he's a speed demon who participates in professional car races and likes to cut through the air on the roads around his Malibu house. I feel a little better knowing he's trying to make me feel safe. 

****

“do you like music?” this next question makes me realise I didn't answer Tony's first one, and that I've been staring at grey pants the whole time. I nod. 

****

He turns on the radio and I recognise the song immediately; “Brandy by Looking Glass, 1972”

****

“wow” I glance and catch him smiling at the road. 

****

“I'm sorry it's a habit” I go back to looking at my lap, may be it'll great the illusion that I'm sitting somewhere where I can't go hurtling off a cliff. 

****

It frustrates me knowing Tony drives well, knowing I've been in much more dangerous situations without a problem, knowing that there are no cliffs between the tower and sanctum, but still being crippled by the irrational thought that somehow something will go wrong. 

****

Tony starts humming along to the song, so I close my eyes, drown out the sounds of cars, and just listen to Tony and the music. Thankfully it helps and by the time we pull up outside the sanctum I don't want to get rid of my lunch on the side of the street. I do however get out of that car as fast as humanly possible, taking a deep breath and relishing the feel of feet against floor. 

****

“hey Stephen”

****

I turn to Tony, who's now next to me and apparently trying to find words to say. Then he decides to hug me. The contacts foreign for me, I haven't hugged anyone but Christine since I can remember, but Tony's so warm and he grabs on like he means it so I'm happy to hug him back. 

****

“that was strong Stephen, probably the strongest thing I've ever seen, And I've fought Hulk. Well done” he speaks it all into my shoulder but I hear it. He smells like elegant cologne with an edge of metal.

****

“it's annoying being afraid of such trivial things, I want to move past it” I tell him after we break our hug and walk to the sanctum doors. They open on their own, as usual when I get here.

****

When we walk in we're faced with Pepper and Wong, the two of them sat on the wide  polished wooden stairs chatting. As soon as they notice us Pepper springs up and almost bowls Tony over hugging him. 

****

“I hate you!” she thumps his chest once they've unravelled from each other. 

****

“I didn't bring this onto myself” Tony retorts. 

****

“I hate you for making me worry all the time. I need a holiday” she paces into the middle of the room, rubbing her eyes. 

****

“take one, whenever you like” Tony loses focus when he meets eyes with Wong. “you're the guy from the alien attack… and you're Stephens friend?”

****

“actually Tony I was there, fighting in the estate park”

****

“why did- right… you didn't want to blow your cover”

****

“sorry about that” we walk into the middle of the lobby too.

****

“I understand, it's important to keep your two worlds apart” he nailed it, that's exactly why. 

****

We decide to order pizza, courtesy of Tony, and once it comes the four of us gather on the stairs so we can all reach the Hawaiian in my lap and the pepperoni in Peppers. 

****

“okay time to spill wizard” Tony says between chewing on a Hawaiian slice.

****

“I'm the  _ sorcerer _ supreme and I practice the mystic arts. This is the New York Sanctum Sanctorum and I am it's master. I also am the guardian of the time stone, well, we all are” I make a broad gesture to represent Wong and all of the Kamar Taj disciples.

****

“that's one hell of a resume Stephen” Says Pepper. She took her shoes off at some point and her feet are crossed over one another on a step. 

****

“We?” Tony asks, looking mind blown at all the things I've just said. 

****

“Yes I learned in Kamar Taj with many other disciples” that doesn't seem to clear much up for him.

****

“where does the magic come from? The time stone?” he leans forward, mindlessly munching since all his focus is on me. It's intense. 

****

“mostly the book of Ashanti, it contains white magic spells” 

****

“what does Wong do?” 

****

“he protects the sacred texts in Kamar Taj” Pepper replies, looks like Wong and her have really been talking.

****

“have you always been magic?” 

****

After a deep breath I launch into the story, starting with the accident, and ending with Dormammu. 

****

“that's great but also horrible” Tony takes the last slice of pizza in my box and I can finally shut it and chuck it on the floor. He seems windstruck.

****

“Jesus I need a nap” Pepper sighs. You can only have your mind blown so many times before you need to rest it.

****

“I'll get you home” Tony says, pushing himself up with a groan and grabbing Peppers navy stilettos from the bottom of the stairs, handing them to her. They match her dress exactly. 

****

“is your shoulder feeling okay?” he asks, resting his hand on my other one and looking into my eyes as if there he'll find the truth, if anyone can its him. 

****

“it'll be fine” only the skin stings, the actual movement of and contents my shoulder remain undamaged.

****

Once Peppers ready Wong and I escort them both out and watch them leave in the Audi, which is certainly going faster than it was when he drove me here. 

****

“Stark is really quite nice”

****

“I know”

****

“I didn't know you were attracted to the same sex also” 

****

That snaps me out of staring at the last spot where I saw the car before it turned. “What?” Is he saying I'm attracted to Tony? I've never been attracted to a man in my life.

****

Wong seems as confused as I am for a moment but it clears to a sympathetic smile. I wait for him to say more but there's nothing, he simply pats my back and walks away. I stand in one place for several minutes, the breeze from the door I haven't closed yet cooling my neck, the sounds of traffic faint in the background. 

****

Oh god. I'm attracted to Tony. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That moment when you interact for 5 seconds and everyone can tell you're gay af


	5. Montreal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dubious fate takes Stephen on a trip with Tony to Montreal. In one weekend he falls for him even more and someone almost dies. Regularly scheduled programming really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10k words of Stephen hardcore thirsting over Tony. And flirting under the stars.   
> (minor spoilers to cap marvel btw.)

That singular dreaded thought follows me into the next morning, into the tower, then the elevator, and once I've sat at the desk and layed out my papers I'm still stumped by it. I can't feel this way, not only is he my boss but it's a set up to unrequitedness and pain. 

****

He needs to go away, abroad maybe, so I can forget about him and live on. But how could I forget about those round brown eyes, full of endless warmth, or his smile, or the quiet way he laughs, or the way he smells like hard work and finesse tied into one.

****

But there's an upside to this, that the attraction is physical. I just think he's hot, like Forbes does, like everyone does, I don't feel any more or any different. I let that become me, that he's simply the first man I really find attractive and no more. It's easier to work with the comfort and I get through quite a few proposals. I had the teams send in a method on how to speed up the communication process in our earpieces, as everything else is done, and it's up to me to disprove those that are invalid and compile the plausible ones.  

****

I'm researching the parallels between human learning and AI on my laptop when there's a knock on my door. When I look up my heart floats into my stomach. 

****

“you don't look that happy to see me” Tony muses after letting himself in. He's very dressed down, in a white t shirt and blue jeans.

****

He's definitely beautiful, no doubt or denial would be rational. “you're unexpected” I lower the lid of my laptop out of courtesy, not because I want to see him more. 

****

“trust me no one is more unexpected than you Potter” 

****

“I get It, I'm a ‘wizard’” I make dramatic air quotes, sinking into my office chair. 

****

“one day you'll say that unironically and I'll be there, filming” he slips his hands in his pockets and honestly he looks like he should be on set for a photo shoot. 

****

I swallow. “what's up?” 

****

“Giacometti and I are going to Canada this Friday for a biology convention, Peter was supposed to come too but he missed a test and has to sit it, so basically there's a spot open and it's got your name on it” he points at me decisively. 

****

“mine? Why?” he could take an Avenger, or Pepper, or Cassandra Gorge, yet he picked me. 

****

“you saved Pepper, and I wouldn't have caught Ghost without you. I owe you this” 

****

“don't feel like you owe me anything Tony” I slide my chair in until the edge of the table touches the bottom of my ribcage. I did those things out of need and want, not out of expecting a favour from Tony. Maybe he's not used to that.

****

“are you coming or are you coming?” 

****

“how long?”

****

“3 days 2 nights”

****

That's a sticky situation. “you understand I have a duty to protect the sanctum”

****

“can't Wong fill in?” He retorts straight away, like he knew I was going to say that.

****

“he has a duty to protect the library”

****

“you guys really need to invest in staff. But I get it, just let me know by tomorrow if you can or can't come” he backs up a little. Half of me wants him to stay and the other is desperate for him to leave.

****

“thank you” I say. And the latter part of me is satisfied when Tony smiles, nods and closes my door behind him. The barrier is somewhat of a relief, even if I can still see him clear as day. 

****

Giacometti himself walks by and stops to talk with Tony in front of my office. I feel invasive watching but I do anyway; at first they look like they're discussing work stuff, probably the trip, then they start smiling more, laughing every so often. Joseph's laughing a lot harder than Tony on every occasion, which isn't a surprise, I've never seen Tony do more than a casual laugh and Giacometti does everything big. 

****

Soon after Tony clasps his hand, slaps him on the shoulder and turns around, heading for the exit. Joseph very obviously stares at his butt for way too long, then turns the opposite way with a smile on his face. 

****

Something lurches in my stomach and before I can stop myself I spring out of my seat and jog until I catch up with Tony by the Herpetology block.

****

“oh hey” Tony says when I tap his shoulder, stopping to face me with a brilliant smile.

****

“I can come” There is no way I'm letting Tony go abroad with that guy and feeling okay about it. 

****

“awesome I'll send you an email. Later Hermione” he turns on his heel and with a wave he's off.

****

I'm just looking out for him. That's all I'm doing. It's a favour, as a friend. 

* * *

 

“you are not going to Canada” Wong declares after I've disrupted his evening with this awful news.

 

“it's just a weekend” 

 

“In a weekend Dormammu could consume this whole planet” Wong shuts the huge book he was reading to focus on being mad at me. 

 

“I can portal here if anything happens”

 

“the further you portal the more energy it consumes”

 

“Montreal is not  _ that  _ far” I point out. “Plus, we’re in the Kamar Taj library right now, that's a lot further to Manhattan than Montreal” 

 

“you swore an oath” He reminds me. 

 

“Yea to protect the sanctum, not stay chained to it”

 

“wouldn't you rather that over worldwide destruction?” He makes a good point unfortunately, but it doesn't matter where I am if we're unexpectedly attacked, I can be there in seconds. 

 

“this is a good thing! You could get someone in here as an intern, to learn what it takes to be a Master”

 

That changes his cross look to a thoughtful one. Bingo. “hm… I have a young cousin-”

 

“there you go, get them in here, you have my blessing, and they can learn so much” little do they know the most they'll learn is how to sit around and make tea, threats to the earth are luckily not too common. 

 

“Alright. But the second I call for anything you have to be here”

 

“Yes sir”

 

“the things I do for you to chase men” Wong sighs, opening his book again.

 

“hey that's not what I'm doing, it's for science” I argue, weakly. 

 

“sure Stephen” 

* * *

 

 

The day of the trip comes around quick and in no time at all we're boarding Tony's jet, out of the roaring engines and high speed winds and into a warm well lit cabin with soft classical playing in the background. 

 

“must be nice” Joseph murmurs to me, looking around curiously. 

 

Tony's very comfortable to pick a pair of seats and flop on them like they're a couch. I take the ones opposite him and Joseph takes the ones next to him, we're all ridiculously spread out thanks to the table and isle. 

 

Out of Joseph's case comes his mac. He boots it up and busies himself with a helping of the champagne bottle on the table in front of him. I however pull out a book, an introduction to Greek mythology volume II. Christine might not be a part of my life any more but she made me decide to read something without spells in it and I'm not just going to throw that out a window. 

 

“mythology huh? Many people compare me to Narcissus” Tony comments as he pops his black blazer open with an elegant flick off the finger. The desire for him to do that to my blazer comes and goes fast but leaves a scar. 

 

“that's not a good thing” I tell him. Narcissus died, that's not usually something to be smug about.

 

“I know. I don't think it's accurate though, I'm not good looking enough to be entranced by my own reflection, however handsome I may be” 

 

He definitely is. 

 

“You're doing okay Tony” Joseph says, not looking up from whatever he's typing. He stole my compliment, and the delivery was just insulting. 

 

Soon we’re off the runway and in the air, route to Montreal. According to Tony's email the convention will be held in a hotel and we'll be staying there. It seems unwise for Tony Stark to sleep in a building full of unknown people who could be sent to kill him but I figure he does it all the time and there's no doubt he can protect himself. 

 

Speaking of Tony sleeping that's exactly what he's doing now, with one arm hanging off the chairs. His mouths fallen open a little at the angle he's laying. He’s beautiful and not even trying. Hopefully Giacometti doesn't catch me watching him over my book. 

 

“did you and Tony know each other before you got hired?” Joseph asks out of the blue.

 

“no, why?” I've now got my legs stretched over the seats and my back to the cabin wall, making the distance between us even larger. 

 

“I'm trying to figure out why he's already inviting you on trips when you've only been here less than 2 months. I didn't even  _ see _ the guy with my own eyes until I was working here for 3” 

 

Again, what I always wander about, why so much attention for me? I guess now that we've fought crime together and he knows my secret we're bound whether we like it or not. It's not so much of a problem, he's a good ally and man. “we bump into each other a lot and when we do he talks to me, I believe it's because he likes my work”

 

“ah yes, renowned neurosurgeon” he goes back to typing and apparently that's the end of the conversation. 

 

I fall asleep too, And when I wake my books on my stomach and Tony's standing over me smiling, his nice one, not the polite one or the flashy media one. “Good morning sleeping beauty. Time to go” 

 

I groan a reply and push myself up until I'm standing. 

 

Once we get our bags and go through a passport check we're outside at the taxi bay. The wind feels like mint against the skin and the road looks like it was just taken out of its packaging. Tony leads us to a black SUV, the driver takes our bags without a word and puts them in the trunk whilst we get in, Tony in the front and the two of us in the back. I already feel anxiety being in but I swallow it; for Tony, and for me. It helps being in the back, it's easier to pretend I'm not in a car at all, just a small room with Windows and seats, that's all it is. 

 

The second Tony's butt touches the seat his phone rings. “hey Pete…. Yea we got here well. Are you studying?... you better be after we're done talking… a magnet? Really? How about I buy you something cool like a park?… how could you not want a park? You can call it Parker Park”

 

Joseph and I raise our brows at each other. Even the driver shares an amused look with us through the rear view. 

 

“Okay okay I'll stop at a gift shop. Take care of your Aunt… And if I hear you're out late I'm confiscating your tower clearance for a week… alright, bye kid” he hangs up. This Peter, he has a different surname to Tony but he has to be his kid, I've never heard such quintessential dad talk.

 

“Is Peter your son?” I ask after moments of deliberating if I should. 

 

“God no, just a kid I know, he's really bright”

 

Joseph rolls his eyes at me, meaning we're in agreement that biological or not, that kid is his son.

 

The driver slows and pulls up to the hotel; Intercontinental. I’m the first to come out, my heart instantly lifting from my stomach to my chest when I feel the wind on my skin again. 

 

“I’m sorry about that” Tony says after we’ve got our bags from the trunk. Tony and I brought shoulder bags and Joe brought a small silver suitcase. 

 

“No biggie” I lie, and as usual, he knows I’m lying, it’s all over his mahogany eyes. 

 

We barely step off the road and onto the pavement when two girls come up to us and start telling Tony that Iron Man is their favourite Avenger, I have that in common with them, I had it even before I knew him, but the difference is that I don't plan on telling him.

 

Once he’s taken pictures with them we walk down a little red carpet, through automatic doors and into the hotels lobby. It’s dimly lit, with yellow lights for a warm atmosphere. There's quite a few people already milling about, sitting on the red sofa chairs or lining up for check in, they're all here for the convention since the hotel has been reserved specifically for the purpose and guests until Sunday night.

 

This time two men and a woman approach us, the woman's wearing a huge coat and fluffy scarf and one of the guys, the stocky blading one, is in a Hawaiian shirt. I have to wonder if one of them was going to the arctic and the other to the Caribbean but they both got on the wrong flight and bonded over their blunder, and since they're both biologists they decided to make the most of it and come here.

 

Joseph and I do the usual, pocket our hands and stand quietly while Tony deals with his fans. 

 

“Dr Strange it’s an honour” The second guy in a check shirt says, extending his hand to me. I blink, then look next to me, Joe can't believe it either and Tony’s sniggering, probably at my legible shock. 

 

“Um hi” I do the standard, one shake and hand straight back into my pocket. 

 

“I’m a neurosurgeon and your paper on using trans sectional spinal cords to stimulate neurogenesis in the central nervous system is incredible, its saved lives that would have been lost before it” the woman says. 

 

“Thank you” I did tell Christine it would.

 

We exchange a few more words then they leave, all with grins on their faces. 

 

“Are we in a parallel universe or what?” Joe jokes as we join the check in queue, it shouldn't be more than a 10 minute wait. 

 

“Definitely. They didn't even notice you” I direct to Tony. He smiles and shrugs, looking really happy about it. 

 

On check in we discover we’re on the fourth floor, numbers 411, 412 and 413. 

 

“So what's the plan?” Joe asks when we’re in the elevator. It’s really huge and with each of us leaning on one wall there's enough space for a dinner table and chairs in the middle. 

 

“Lunch in,” Tony checks his watch, “20. Then there's an astrobiology talk, which will be followed by a little mixer of sorts, you know, drinks, snacks, meet your favourite biologist”

 

“Mine is right here” Joe spins and points at his reflection in the elevator mirror. Tony and I both scoff.

 

We get to our rooms, there's a very red theme in them. I have a balcony with a glass sliding door, wooden furniture, a black desk, white bed with red velvet pillows and way too many lamps, one on every table surface. The carpet and one of the walls are red. On my left I have an on sweet an on my right there's a door. So Tony got us connected rooms, I wonder whether its a coincidence or if it has anything to do with his worries, his fear of something happening to someone because he doesn't protect them. 

 

Sighing out all my questions on Tony’s past traumas and current mental method, I toss my bag at the foot of my king bed and unzip it. I’ve chosen to switch my white jumper for a white shirt, buttoning it as quickly as I can with my shit hands and tucking it into my silver slacks before toeing off my shoes and collapsing on the bed for a 15 minute relax before a much awaited lunch. 

 

The restaurant at the hotel is absolutely huge, fitting heaps of round white tables. We chose a corner one yet thanks to Tony we're still the center of attention. It must be exhausting for him to get around. 

 

“you look grumpy” I point out to Tony, peering at him over my menu. Everything is fancy but maybe I should treat myself now that I have some money.

 

“I feel short” he pouts. I snort a laugh. 

 

“why now specifically?” what Joe doesn't say is ‘since you've always been short’ but Tony and I both hear it. He glares at him.

 

“because I've been walking around with you guys all day and you're both giants” he argues. Joseph and I are both 6ft so it's understandable we'd be a bit much for someone who's 5'8 or so. 

 

“I think I might put in a policy to only hire short people like Bruce so I can look tall” he looks as if he's actually considering it. 

 

“very Napoleonic of you” I say. It gets a little laugh from Joseph, not Tony though.  

 

“I'm getting the octopus couscous” he slaps his menu shut without even looking at the drinks.

 

As if by telekinesis a waiter comes by ready to take our orders, Tony gets the octopus and a tonic, just tonic with lemon, as he specifies to the waiter when asked, Joe gets lobster couscous with herb and a cider and I go for the king prawn linguine with water.

 

“did you know one of my mum's friends was a clairvoyant and she predicted that I’d grow to be 6'1 and have blue eyes”

 

“well never trust a clairvoyant” Joe shrugs. 

 

“of course. But it would have been nice” Tony leans back, contemplating. 

 

I'm sure that if I searched alternate realities I would find a Tony like that. But I like my one, there's not a thing I would change about him.

 

The food comes about fifteen minutes later, we enjoy it over small talk about the state of the ocean. I'm almost positive Tony stole one of my prawns when I wasn't looking, and he didn't notice at all when I did the same to his octopus, and soon the bill comes. It takes me back to the old days, when I dumped money at things like it was water and they were dishes. Joe and I look at the bill and discuss how much we each need to pay but by the time we look up the waiters there with a card reader and Tony's putting in his pin.

 

“you didn't have to do that” I tell him once the waiters gone. 

 

He looks at us like we’ve fused together. “you do realise I'm a billionaire right?”

 

“Yes we noticed when you offered to buy your kid a whole park” Joe deadpans.

 

“right so there's no rational scenario in which I don't pay” Tony concludes. 

 

Next we go to the astrobiology talk in the auditorium. It's interesting, covering the rare earth theory and how the Fermi Paradox was debunked thanks to the discovery of God's like Thor and aliens like the Chitahuri.

 

That name makes me shiver when the speaker says it. I hate to remember the first wave, how alone I felt even though I was surrounded by people in the hospital, sat in corner hugging close to Christine and hoping that each sound of a building falling to pieces or bomb exploding wasn't us.

 

Then came the casualties. I had to perform surgery after surgery for two days straight, even when the floor was shaking non stop on the day of the attack. I only got three hours sleep across those two days and for a month after my sleep was plagued with unrest. 

 

The speaker moves on to new planets discovered that could support our lifeforms and it helps take my mind off it. Tony's on his phone through the whole thing. 

 

Once the talks done we like out into the lobby, where two long tables are set up with bottles, flutes, and ornate snacks. It only takes one person asking me why I've left medicine for me to decide that I'm not into mingling, that i'd much rather go to my room and lie on my bed like a starfish staring up at the white ceiling and wondering why I'm so embarrassed and afraid of my hands, of cars, of admitting what I lost. 

 

It comforts me though that what I lost was empty. I lost my money, my career and my girlfriend. I lost money I was wasting that didn't make me happy, a career that made me a toxic asshole and a girlfriend I never truly gave all of myself to. 

 

It's not so bad, this life I have. 

 

Soon I grow bored of white and venture out into the balcony for a different view. The sky's black, dotted with a couple of stars and carpeted by buildings and their red or yellow lights. The breeze is cold and I have to hug myself but it's worth the sight and the feeling of being part of something beautiful. We've made the world an ugly place but at its nature it'll never loose gems like these. 

 

“But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?   
It is the east and Juliet is the sun!    
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon” Tony's voice startles me first then melts me like chocolate with its poetic tone. His balcony is right next to mine, so close I could climb into it if I wanted.

 

“how beautiful. You a big Shakespeare fan?”

 

Saying Tony shines brighter than any of the stars in the sky isn't being dramatic, instead truthful, he's only wearing a black tank top and sweats and it's so dark his chest piece glows bright, casting light all over his torso. It helps identify exactly where he dips and curves, which is in all the right places, and his shoulders and arms are defined by muscle to put the everyday man to shame. 

 

The blue light also shows scars; small ones peeping out from beneath the black straps and longer ones on his arms, seemingly from blades or maybe own suit cutting him up when it's damaged. Scars tend to be seen as a flaw but on Tony they look like decoration, like marks to show that he's human and that he works hard and fights harder, always sacrificing for others. I find I really like them.

 

He pockets his hands and inhales. “not particularly but seeing you here inspired my English literature lessons at school out of me”

 

I’m speechless for a moment. “wow I'm flattered”

 

“you should be” He smirks at me. I dread that I actually may blush. 

 

“are you saying I'm the Romeo to your Juliet? Because that's a strong statement” I say, playful smile on my lips. 

 

Tony could swallow me with those eyes, "I'm all about strong statements didn't you know?”

 

I nod, looking out to the moon. It is envious, just not of me. 

 

“why did you leave the thing?” I ask after a minute of silence filled with the soft sound of wind. 

 

“I only had three people I wanted to talk to. After them it was just people wanting to talk to me, and I know it's hypocritical to expect people I want to talk to to be available and then negate the people that want to talk to me but I'm selfish” he shrugs, leaning his hip on the side of his balcony that faces mine.

 

“in which capacity are you selfish? You're a hero, they're the opposite of selfish” His scars all agree with me, spelling his selflessness in light skin for me to read. 

 

“I'm not really one of them… I'm just a guy with some money and smarts” the way he says comes out so naturally, like he's rehearsed it, like it's been taught to him. It's all wrong.

 

“who flew into space to save New York” I finish. 

 

“ugh don't remind me, being out here is bad enough” he crosses his arms and looks at the floor. I'm confused for a moment but then realise that space, like the night sky, is black with stars. 

 

“don't let me keep you then” every second that passes I feel worse for him being out here. I know what it's like, for Tony It might even be worse. 

 

“No it's alright. If you can get in a car I can handle a couple stars”

 

Again we fall into a bout of silence. I wonder if he’s doing this for me, like I stepped into that SUV for him above everything. 

 

“You were on your phone during the talk” I say, figuring it must be much worse for Tony to cope if he has nothing to distract himself. 

 

“Yea you may think I was playing candy crush but really I was working, I'm not that much of an asshole” his crossed arms tighten, probably due to the cold. It also makes his biceps look bigger. I figure I probably shouldn't be staring, registering the dusting of hairs on his forearms, the dips where one muscle ends and another starts, tracking the print of veins running down to his hands. 

 

“isn't this thing work?” I peel my eyes away from that area and look at his face. Even more entrancing unfortunately. 

 

“of sorts, yea. But it was really just for Joseph and Peter. I only came because I was the one personally invited and they counted as guests so I had to” he explains.  

 

“that's good of you” someone like Tony going away for a weekend is a massive sacrifice of time, therefore a massive favour to whoever he does it for. 

 

“well I'd do almost anything to make sure Peter has a good life” he says, looking distant for a moment. His words carry more weight than he likely realises. 

 

“and you still claim he's just a kid you know?” I raise a brow at him. He goes to lean on the front of the balcony, looking out into the vast darkness.

 

It hurts me how beautiful he is. 

 

“Yes. The thing is I dragged him into a game too big, and I shouldn't have. He needs to have the best life he could possibly have because if he doesn't it's on me”

 

That's a big self imposed responsibility, easily too big. “one day this Atlas life will squash you don't you think?” I propose, mirroring his pose.

 

“Atlas didn't carry the world on his shoulders he carried the heavens, they were probably quite light”

 

Of course he would say that. 

 

“I know but you get what I'm trying to say” he and I both know that he's cursed himself to carry a weight larger than himself. It's inevitable that one day he'll be crushed. 

 

Again silence. This time it stretches for about two minutes. I watch Tony watch the sky and wonder if he's thinking about space or about the Atlas idea, whatever it is he's lost in it, and judging by the sad look in his eyes it's the bad kind of lost. 

 

“what do you think Giacometti's doing?” I ask to snap him out of it. It's not quite a snap he reacts with though, more like a slow transition from lost to found, in the here and now. 

 

“pulling guys and girls left and right as usual, that pretty bastard” He scoffs, like it's a recurring problem he's become fed up of.

 

“Jealous?” I joke, but I also desperately pray to all deities he says no.

 

“no he's not my type, too Hollywood”

 

I breathe. And I also understand, he's got the George Clooney look with his salt and pepper hair and 5 o'clock shadow, bronze skin and clear blue eyes. As for his personality, I can see the Hollywood in it. 

 

“aren't  _ you _ supposed to be too Hollywood?” I point out as soon as I remember that Tony's brand was drinking whiskey, partying and taking girls home back in the early 2000. The model playboy. It did change though, after Iron Man was born, he became a selfish reckless super who couldn't be trusted with his suit. 

 

He's not like that at all in person. 

 

“I used to be. I'm old now, and being Iron Man sobered me fast” looking at his face I see the old, but not in his skin, in his eyes. He's seen lifetime's worth if things. Knowledge isn't always a blessing, I learned that after becoming Sorcerer Supreme. I don't want to know what it feels like to die, but I do and there's no taking it away. 

 

“so what is your type?” I ask. I don't have the energy to be disappointed at myself for hoping that whatever he says relates to me in some way.

 

“I don't know, smartasses with goatees” be slide glances me with a dangerous smile. 

 

This time I'm definitely blushing and I have to pray the night is dark enough. “oh so you then?” It's definitely not dark enough for him to see the idiotic smile I can't erase.

 

“Smartass” he's doing that thing where he's trying not to smile but it keeps breaking through. I puzzle at how he makes something like that look so hot. 

 

“what about you?” he asks me before I have time to stomp on all the colours bursting inside me. I've never felt so excited at the prospect that someone might like me, something that has always meant nothing to me means everything now. 

 

I'm not just attracted to Tony physically. It's futile to believe that at this point. “I like smartasses with goatees too” I murmur. Tony grins and turns around to leave. The last thing I see before I can't see is the grin melting into a fond smile. 

 

He's only flattered. It's not because he likes me.

* * *

 

 

The next morning I'm woken by incessant knocking and a muffled ‘Stepheeenn’ from the other side of Tony and I's joined door.

 

“what?” I groan loudly, sitting up. 

 

Tony lets himself in and If I knew he was going to do that I would have put a top on.

 

“hey hot stuff come out on the town with me” he says, leaning on the door frame and crossing his arms and bare feet. 

 

I squint at him, still not quite awake. 

 

“Please? Help me find something for Pete”

 

“fine. We better get breakfast too” I croak, throwing my duvet off and sliding out of bed. Christine always said my morning voice was hot, I just think I sound ill. 

 

“thanks” Tony walks across the room and opens the curtains. The mornings white light is painful to my eyes.

 

“so a magnet?” I ask when I'm in the bathroom washing my face. 

 

“maybe. I'd hope to find something less tacky” he calls back, he's sitting on my bed and as I towel my face dry I watch him cross his legs then pull the sleeves of his white top over his hands and make them fists to keep the fabric covering them.

 

Again I smile like an idiot, hiding it in the towel. He's cute, so cute.

 

“Maybe Peter likes tacky” I go back to the mirror to restore some order to my hair. I don't think I've ever seen myself smile in a reflection but here I am, with Tony Stark.

 

“he does” Tony says back, “once he made me spend 20 bucks on one game at a fair just to win this bright orange shitty octopus with wonky googly eyes. He loves it, called it Zara” 

 

“that's adorable” I'm done pampering and come back out to the room to look for something to wear in my bag. When I sit cross legged on the floor close to Tony It reminds me of a sleepover. I've never been to one but I imagine it would be something like this, sitting around together without needing to look a certain way for an audience out in the world, and talking about everything yet nothing.

 

“I liked your hair more when it was sticking up in every direction and all up in your eyes” he says, making a round gesture at it. 

 

“haha” it's different to looking up at him, a fresh angle. His lashes are inhuman.

 

“No really it was cute” Tony reaches down and ruffles my hair. I grab his wrist and give him death eyes.

 

“stop that” my expression doesn't last, it falls to a smile as I pat my hair down before deciding on the white jumper from yesterday and black jeans and laying them on the edge of the bed. Then the hand is back in my hair.

 

“hey!” I slap his hand away but it just keeps coming back, along with giggles. Eventually I lunge for him and Tony and I are rolling around on my bed in his efforts to destroy my hair and my efforts to stop him. We're similar in strength so one can't hold down the other for very long before our positions are reversed, until I decide my hairs wrecked beyond hope so I give up where Tony holds my arms against the bed and looms over me. We're both out of breath and heaving, but most notably Tony's so close, and looking at him holding me down just makes me want him to do more with his power. My toes curl at the thought. 

 

“you look much better now” he says quietly, with a smug smile. I'm overly aware of his knees on either side of my hips. 

 

“homewrecker” I tell him, also overly aware of my state of undress. White cotton bottoms are all I wear.

 

“of what? The passionate relationship between you and your hair wax?” Tony quips. 

 

Moments pass in silence and his smile drops to parted lips, like that time in the tower, only this time I don't want to escape, instead I want him to tighten his grip on my forearms and control me. And it’s there, that look in his eyes, like he wants to, like he’s fighting not to do it. 

 

He sighs profoundly, closing his eyes for a couple of seconds, and when he opens them again he’s back to his normal expression, all that promise that he might mark my neck or take my breath away gone as quickly as it came. The disappointment deflates me. 

 

Then all of a sudden Tony lets go of my arms and with a huff rests his head on my shoulder. I inflate again, with nervous fluttering. His face is hot against my skin and its spreads up to my fingers and toes, a wash of warmth yet also deoxygenation. I can't function, I don’t know how. 

 

“This is recent” I watch his fingers tentatively brush the skin around the scar on my side I got from a ninja blade. It’s thin, and doesn't hurt anymore, but it’s still an angry pink. 

 

“Yea a ninja monkey cut me with it’s katana” The words come out quiet. I feel Tony's fingers like they’re marking me, when in fact they barely touch my skin. 

 

“That sounds bonkers” His laugh vibrates in my chest. And when he stops it continues to buzz. 

 

“That's my life” The laugh I attempt comes out so nervous it’s obvious. Tony doesn't react though, busy tracing my scar absently.

 

“Do you ever just feel like… you’re more than human, because you fight all these creatures with these powers but then the fight is over and you're just… destroyed?” Tony says softly, and it feels like he’s giving himself to me. 

 

“Yea. I do” Magic is the best method of giving someone a false sense of invincibility, I know because I suffer from the complex, but behind all that I’ve spent more nights than I can count bandaging my wounds and dragging my beat up body around. 

 

“I always thought I was weak, because next to me I had Steve, Vision, Thor, Bruce and Pete, who don't hurt the same I do. But I realise I’m just trying my best, and even if that’s not enough it’s all I can do” He says that sadly.

 

“Don’t forget Iron Man is a choice Tony. You could always walk away If you feel you're in it just to keep up” Only now I realise that i’ve been playing with the hair on Tony’s nape, it would be weirder to stop so I indulge in it, closing my eyes, focusing on the strands between my fingers and the vibration of Tony’s voice.

 

“I can't. Now that Rogers is gone I’m in charge of the Avengers”

 

“That can change, you could appoint somebody else” I wasn't even aware the Captain ever lead the Avengers. 

 

“Okay that's not the main reason. The truth is I know something is coming, something bigger than all of our capabilities together, but they don't take me seriously, so it’s up to me to protect us”

 

“Why don't they? Isn't it obvious?” I frown. Do they really think all the outer forces will just leave earth alone until the sun blows it to pieces? Ignorance isn't nor will it ever be a shield. 

 

Tony slides off me and lays on his belly, pressed to my side with his chin in his hands, he looks at me with such vulnerability I feel like I’m seeing right into his heart. “You... understand?”

 

“Yes of course, things from other dimensions threaten our existence as we speak. Whether it's with you or without you I’ll be here, protecting humanity as best as I can” I prop myself on my elbows so I can actually see him and so he can see that I mean what I’m saying. 

 

“I think I would like it if it were with me” He murmurs, a small smile adorns him and it feels so intimate, all of this is so intimate, more intimate than anything sexual I’ve ever done. 

 

A smile breaks through. “I would like that too”

 

“Come on get dressed” Tony orders after what's probably too long of a session of getting lost in each other's gaze. 

 

Before long I’m in my clothes and put on a black pea coat and a red scarf, the scarf being my cloak in a pedestrian disguise. Tony just puts on a beige bomber jacket and realises his mistake when it’s cold outside and the wind does not relent. 

 

“You're not very smart are you?” I joke, taking off my scarf and loosely wrapping it around Tony’s neck, ignoring his protests that he's not  _ that  _ cold.

 

“Hey now you're looking at a man who invented an element” he says smugly as we pass the Montreal convention centre, it's a huge, old building, looking something reminiscent of the Notre dame. 

 

“I’m sorry you did what?” I cant believe what I’ve just heard. A human creating an element has to be impossible. 

 

“I was dying, for reasons, and with the help of Howard Stark and Nick Fury I created an element to stop me from dying” He explains like he’s talking about how he moved house or bought a frying pan. This is far from any of that. 

 

“You have to tell me the full story now”

 

Tony sighs and goes into a story about his chest piece poisoning his blood, trying to fix it but then accepting death, being visited by Fury, discovering the secret his dad left behind and managing to engineer a new element that doesn't poison his blood. He delves into the science of it all and it’s absolutely fascinating. 

 

“Ooh look a bakery!” Tony grabs my wrist and leads us across the quiet road into a little place with cakes in the window. There's an array of choice from cheese straws to pain au raisins and donuts. Tony hands me a brown bag and with metal tongs I pick a pain au raisin and a pain au chocolat. 

 

“that's it?” Tony raises a brow at me as he drops a doughnut in a bag. 

 

“Yea. I don't need more”

 

“no you're just trying to cut back because I'm paying” he got me there. 

 

The lady behind the counter smiles to herself as she puts bread in an oven. 

 

“must I remind you that I'm a billionaire” at that the small woman whips around and stares at Tony, her eyes narrowing.

 

“are you Tony Stark?” she asks.

 

“in the flesh. It's a great place you have here Miss” 

 

“Thank you. Your boyfriend is very handsome, lucky guy” she winks at Tony. I'm not really sure what to do or say so I just stand silently, even when Tony looks at me. 

 

“Yea um he's not my boyfriend” he tells her sweetly. Somehow that saddens me. I have to be realistic though, I could never be Tony's boyfriend.

 

“awe shame. You'd be cute as a pair” 

 

“well thank you dear” Tony beams at her, then wraps his arm around mine. He holds my stare for a while and I think maybe he's trying to tell me something. Until the bag in my hands gets heavier and I realise he was just distracting me with those god damn chocolate eyes to sneak more pastries into my paper bag. 

 

“sneaky” I whisper, unable to hold back a smirk. He shrugs with a smug look and pays the woman when she looks in our bags and gives him a price.

 

“hey do you know if there are any gift or tourist shops around?” he asks her.

 

“Yea if you just go left out of here and take the next left turning. Keep walking up that road, there's two or three shops” she informs, handing us our pastries. 

 

“Thank you” Tony and I wave before stepping out of the shop.  

 

“Get together soon!” she calls before we're out of earshot. Admittedly it's funny, as well as awkward. 

 

“that's a bit awkward” Tony says after chuckling. We've taken the second left and we're facing a long road lined with coffee shops, restaurants and express supermarkets. 

 

“Yea?” I don't know what I hope for him to say but I hope for something good. 

 

“Yea because you're straight” 

 

“oh um yea” the statement throws me, I hadn't thought of that, I've been straight my whole life. Until Wong and I realised I'm not. 

 

“are you? I mean Rhodey said he dated your girlfriend so I assumed” 

 

“no, yea I am” I reply out of panic, knowing I can't tell him that I've only ever liked women but I have feelings for him so no I'm not. That would strip me naked, would put all the cards on the table face up so Tony can see.

 

“right… you and your girlfriend did break up right?” he clarifies, struggling to get a yum yum out of his bag since he's still got his arm wrapped with mine. However he doesn't break the link. I go through the same struggle because if even for an hour our two, I want the illusion that I am his boyfriend, that I lend him my scarf and he buys my breakfast and he shamelessly links arms with me when we walk. I start to wonder if saying I'm not straight would have lead to anything and half of me regrets not going for it. The other half relishes the safety. This is safe. 

 

“Yea. You were right about people like us dating normal girls” we pass a fruit shop with oranges and raspberries in the front, it's beautifully vibrant, somewhat like Tony. 

 

“Yea it's sad. Was it a clean break?” he asks me between bites. My first pastry is a bear claw Tony must have dropped in. It's good, with the sweetness to wake me up.

 

“I'd say that, we're both better off apart” I wonder what Christine's up to now, probably long shifts and challenging surgery. I don't miss that fast life too much, especially not when strolling with Tony like time doesn't exist, only now and him. 

 

“just like Pepper and I. I don't assume you've dated anyone like us” 

 

“No have you? Oh right Steve. Sorry” their relationship was quite public back when it was a thing. I’d always see someone in the break room at the hospital reading a magazine with a picture of them both on the front, going to restaurants or just taking walks together with some bold headline about what they like to eat or what brand Tony's shoes are. Tony also used to talk about him openly in tv appearances, which I did watch because he was usually being interviewed about new inventions or discoveries that interested me much more than his love life at the time.

 

“I'm sorry too. That relationship was  _ such _ a mess” he groans, looking ten times more tired by just mentioning it. 

 

“no clean break?” no one really knows how they broke up according to a young patient I once had. Apparently there was the disagreement about the accords, and airport fight where they took opposite sides, then all of a sudden Captain America went off the grid to escape the government. Captain America of all people. 

 

“His best friend killed my parents and he knew but didn't tell me about it. Then he left me to die in Siberia. In other words clean as can be” he tries to come across casual but anyone can tell the words hurt him. 

 

That answers why they broke up, and it's so much worse than anything I could have imagined. It makes me feel sick to imagine a person I love and trust doing that to me. “that's disgusting” I say, because I feel disgust at the idea of it. 

 

“Strong word” 

 

“No really, you gave your heart to this guy and he betrayed you in probably the worst way ever”

 

“You're right disgusting is a good word. You know what's annoying? he was everything, he had my back, I thought was the one, he was exactly what I needed to round my edges. And he did, he got me to stop drinking and frankly that's the best thing anyone's ever done for me” he rants, finally giving up the cool act and feeling the frustration he should feel. 

 

“technically you did that yourself” Regardless of how hard somebody tries or asks you to give something up, you are the one who decides to do it ultimately. Getting over what I assume is alcoholism was Tony's triumph, not Steve's. 

 

“I guess, anyway he did round my edges but the breakup made me sharper than I was before him” 

 

“really? You seem pretty rounded” Tony's shockingly rounded, miles nicer than I expected and so sweet.

 

“it's the private things, you know, nightmares, self doubt, trust issues. That jazz” 

 

“would it help the self doubt if I tell you you're the most incredible person in the world?” I don't care if it exposes how I feel about him, Tony's view of himself is way bigger than hiding feelings, because he's great and he deserves to believe that he is. 

 

“how could you know that? you don't know almost 8 billion people”

 

“shut up and take the compliment” I bump Tony playfully. We share smug smiles and just then we reach a shop with caps and scarves bearing the Canadian flag. Seems like exactly the place we need.

 

Tony grabs a hat and puts it on, “how do I look?”

 

“like an obnoxious tourist. It's terrible” It's so bright that if his face doesn't get someone's attention that hat will.

 

“terrible you say? I guess that means I'll have to buy it” he seems very satisfied with his incorrect decision. 

 

“why? Just because I don't like it?”

 

“precisely” he pulls me on it the store where we're bombarded by Canada t shirts, mugs, magnets, keychains, teddies, magnets, snowglobes and lighters. We browse around, suggesting things to one another until Tony sees a little snow globe with a small model of St Joseph's oratory in it, one of Montreal's distinct attractions and calls it the one. I have to agree. 

 

Tony puts the globe and the hat on the till counter and I hang back, looking at this one snow globe with a hilarious looking North American beaver in it. In what feels like one swift moment, I grab it, plop it on the counter, hand a note to the chasheer and hand it to Tony. 

 

“is this for me?” he inspects the beaver and laughs at it's expression. It looks like it's smelled something bad.

 

“Yea, to remember the trip”

 

“Thank you” he grins and hugs me. This time I'm not weird about it, in fact it feels perfectly natural to hug him back. I even long for him after we separate.

 

“now I have to buy you something” he goes to look around but I step in his way to intervene. 

 

“no you don't. Let's go” I have to practically shove him incrementally out of the store against his protests to let him return my gesture. 

 

We walk back to the hotel and I have to endure being with a man wearing a Canada hat, somehow he gets recognised less with it on, it must be because it steals all the attention from his face, although I don't know how anything could be capable of doing that. The hat is fine though, because he also spends the journey back shaking his snow globe and watching the funny beaver like it's the best gift he's ever gotten and that brightens my whole world. 

 

We get back to the hotel just in time to snag back row seats for the talk about species hybrids. I'm glad we made it, the talk is really interesting, it covers the possibility that soon we might be able to merge cats with octopus, to give them the ability to walk on land and live in water. Or animals and humans, that centaurs or talking rodents could be a reality with the right discoveries and given the time. 

 

After the talks over Tony and I manage to find Joseph, who tells us he was up into the morning and only woke up about an hour ago. It's easy to tell, his tie doesn't look quite right and his hair isn't as tame as I'm used to seeing it. Tony gives me a look and I know it's referring to what he told me about his pulling skills. He must have scored. 

 

“you guys wanna come see me present an award?” Tony asks us in the elevator up to the fourth floor.

 

“oh you didn't say”

 

“it's not a big thing” He shrugs.

 

Half hour later I step out of my room and see Tony doing the same. He's dressed in a powder blue suit with pinstripes and a dark blue tie. 

 

“wow… You look good” I've only ever seen him in dark suits, and the light look suits him well.

 

“glad you think so” he smooths down his blazer. I notice he's wearing blue sneakers and it makes me smile that he refuses to wear dress shoes, I've never seen him in them. 

 

“good evening all, my name's Tony Stark and I'm very happy to announce the first award of the night,” Tony starts once everyone's sat down and he's on the stages podium. I got a front row seat of course. “as you probably know I'm not a biologist, I'm a mechanical engineer, but that doesn't mean I don't have a love and interest in it. In the past years I've been working on merging cerebral and body functions with technology and I've had a great time doing it.” He segways into presenting the award winner, hands them a glass trofie that seems like it resembles a human cell and shakes their hand. After that he comes to sit in the empty seat next to me and we sit through two hours of more science people presenting awards to biologists. 

 

Tony spends most of it texting Thor how to make steak and chips. It's hilarious to see him explaining how to get to a store, and how to pay for things. Then how to oven cook chips and the process of frying a steak. The last text he gets from the Asgardian is that it's delicious. 

 

After a long but enjoyable day my head hits my pillow quickly and I'm off to sleep soon after. An image starts to form out of the black, and there's Tony. He's sleeping face up on the same black tank top from the other night, his duvet disrupted by probably tossing in bed has his chest piece exposed and providing the only light in the room. I'm watching him from above, as if I'm perched on the ceiling like a spider, meaning this is a dream. 

 

He looks young asleep, all his lines smoothed out, but there's a crease between his brows that doesn't go away. Maybe he's having a nightmare, like he mentioned in the morning.

 

Then a figure comes into frame and I recognise it as Joseph as soon as he's close Tony's reactor light. He's still wearing the grey suit and yellow tie, like he hasn't gone to bed at all. 

 

That ceases to matter when he keeps getting closer, until he's at the opposite side of the bed where Tony's sleeping. He quietly crawls onto the bed and I'm afraid of what he's going to do. The worry kills me as I watch him just stare at Tony for a couple of seconds. Then, slowly, he reaches for his neck and grabs on for dear life. 

 

I try to scream for Tony to wake up but neither of them hear me. Tony wakes up anyway, his hands flying to Joseph's and trying to pull them as he gasps for air. When that doesn't work he thrashes, managing to scratch his face but nothing more.

 

Tony stops gasping and his head drops to the side. This is a nightmare, it's horrible. 

 

But then Tony's hand moves, he's trying to reach for something. In a sudden movement he grabs the lamp on his nightstand and swings it across Joseph's head. 

 

A loud crash wakes me.

 

Pretty quickly I realise it wasn't a nightmare, it was a vision, and I practically spring out of bed, pulling our joined door open and standing ready with two glowing razor sharp disks summoned at my hands. 

 

Tony's still on the bed, holding his neck and coughing so hard his insides sound like they're going to come out. Joseph's out cold, half on the bed half off. Purple blood peaks from his hairline. 

 

The shapeshifting aliens had purple blood. 

 

Promptly I bind his body with red tendrils he won't be able to escape from and toss him on the floor. 

 

“Tony” I crawl onto the bed and turn him into his back. He's breathing fast and all I can do is hold his hand tightly and wait for the breathing to regulate. His necks deep red. 

 

His breathing doesn't regulate. His left arm is shaking viciously and tears stain his eyes. He's having a panic attack.

 

I don't bother with reassuring words, instead I pull him upright, stand up his pillow and have him sit against it, then I take both his hands, press them to my chest and breathe deep and regular. He digs his nails into my skin and sobs. I tilt his chin up and press my forehead to his so he can't hide his tears before I put my hands over his to flatten them and I close my eyes. We stay that way until I can't hear Tony crying anymore, just breathing inline with me.

 

Then we stay like that longer. 

 

At some point I fell asleep since I wake with my head on Tony's shoulder and a hand splayed over his reactor. It's bright outside and it fills the room. He's got his arm draped over my hip and when I look up he's awake, staring through the balcony glass.

 

“Thank you” he whispers, his eyes unwavering from the view outside.

 

“how are you?” as much as I don't want to I sit up and turn so I can face him without getting a neck cramp.  

 

“peaceful. Somehow” his necks patched with purple. The aliens seem to have super strength and if he hadn’t thought of the lamp I might not have had the luxury of feeling his chest go up and down when I woke. The thought makes me want to hurl.

 

“I do not feel peaceful” a growing voice says. Both of us startle and remember we left the alien on the floor. 

 

“shit. We need to find the real Joseph” I scramble out of bed, almost tripping over the alien. It's still wearing Joes suit but it's back to its green form. 

 

“check his room” Tony orders, crouching by the Skrull. The Iron Man gauntlet forms around his hand and a little panel pops up from it, scanning the aliens face. He's also wearing nothing over his white boxers. 

 

I do as Tony says and hit a jackpot. Joseph's in the far corner of his room, his wrists and ankles tied and his mouth covered with cloth. At the sight of me he lets out muffled yelling.

 

“chill” I tell him as I kneel in front of him and unravel the rope at his ankles. That seems to make him more upset. 

 

“it was green Stephen! It knocked on my door, threw me across the room and after one look it became me! It was so gross” 

 

“I can imagine. Take a shower, get some sleep” I give him an hand to help him to his feet. He takes a moment to remember how to stand then let's go. 

 

“why are you calm! Anyone could be one of them, you could be for all I know! What even are they?” 

 

“You're right, I don't know, And I'm not” I don't bother with anything more, instead returning to Tony's room. He's got his phone on the desk by the balcony and out of it float a bunch of holograms with information on them. 

 

“they're Skrulls. I don't have anything else, Fury blocked the Shield file on them. I'm hacking into it now” he explains, continuing to swipe panels like tabs and giving verbal commands to the program like he's not in the act of crime against a government agency. It seems like he must do it often. 

 

“So Mr Skrull. What's your purpose here?” I crouch by the creature.

 

“he killed my friends” it growls, nodding it's chin at Tony since that's the only thing it can move. Tony's shoulders tense at that, and I feel it. Killing, even if it's evil, always takes a toll. 

 

“how did you find him?” 

 

“learned how to use the web. A young female human uploaded a picture with him and it mentioned this city” even aliens have found the pitfalls of social media. 

 

“are you alone?”

 

“Yes. There are few of us left”

 

“of your entire species?”

 

“no of the rebels”

 

“oh. What do you rebel against?” this is good, it might mean that some Skrulls don't want our planet.

 

“our leader is too soft. All he cares about is comfort for us. We want more than a planet we have to share with others that has insufficient resource” 

 

Greed, that's what it sounds like. 

 

“okay I'm in. Skrulls first appeared on earth in the 90's” Tony says. 

 

“and?” Is that all he's going to say? 

 

“they left Earth shortly after. That's all it says” He sounds disappointed. I don't blame him.

 

Then Tony's phone vibrates and a white panel pops up informing that Maria Hill is calling him. He picks up his phone and answers. “hey Maria… because we have a Skrull. It tried to kill me actually… Montreal… alright alright… oh hey Nick, so you  _ are  _ alive?” 

 

I don't get the rest of the conversation since he steps out of the room. 

 

We spend two hours babysitting the Skrull until Maria turns up and takes it away. As well as Joseph, probably to wipe his memories or something. They ask to take me too. Tony doesn't let that happen. 

 

The time to pack up and go home comes around fast and a trip I will never forget comes to an end. It was up and down, I suffered some of the worst worries I've ever had and some of the happiest moments. I learned so much about Tony and now annoyingly can't get him out of my head. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I only have one word regarding the next chapter; Karaoke.
> 
> Tumblr: wifeofstark


	6. What If You Fix Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephen takes a nose dive into his own mind, the Avengers discover Tony's an excellent singer and Rhodey drops something way bigger than a tank.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The endgame spot today gave me life then ripped it away. Thank you Marvel.

Today, for the first time, I enter my own mind palace. It's something I've always wanted to do, walk within someone's physical mind, but no one would want that, and neither did I at first. Mind palaces take different forms depending on the person. Mine is a hospital. To start with I enter the lobby, It's dark and abandoned. I'm given no choice but to use the elevator across the room, it must lead me to my thoughts. Once I'm in I find spells ripped from books and taped on the walls, so many I can't see the metal. I wonder what that means, maybe that spells are always in the front of my mind. 

****

The elevator has no buttons but it closes and takes me up one floor anyway. I step out and into a circular room. The pattern of the floor resembles the sanctums, the two buildings of my life, the Sanctorium and the hospital. It makes sense.

****

The rooms lined by doors, most of them are normal wood but two stand out; one for being charred to black and the other for bearing a large DO NOT ENTER and a red x on it. I choose to open every door starting clockwise. The first door I face looks normal, except the handle shines bright, like it hasn't even touched oxygen. It must mean that it'll lead to memories I never think of.

****

I step through into a playground where small children run around like free spirits. Many look at me, the tall man in the red cloak, yet continue with their activities, as if I'm something that's meant to be here.

****

A boy in a red t shirt and blue shorts too large for his skinny frame stands next to me. He has a bandage on his cheek. He's me. 

****

“Strange face!” another kid yells at little me. He in contrast is stocky and his dirty blond hair sticks out of his blue cap in all the wrong places. I know what this is, this is me and my bullies. It makes sense now that the handle was untouched, I never think of this. 

****

“why do you look so strange Stephen Strange? Was your mommy ugly too?” he continues, two other boys joining him. 

****

I know what's coming, the little me balls his little unscathed hands into fists and charges. One of my biggest mistakes. I don't stay to watch myself get beaten blue but when I turn around it's not the door I see it's New York. I'm standing outside the hospital, everything's burning around me, people scream from every direction. I look up and there's a flash of god and red across the sky. It's Tony. And behind him follows a flying monster the size of the Stark Tower. 

****

In front of me there's an ambulance with a dent in its roof. I'm there helping the paramedics pull a stretcher out of the back. The person in it is bleeding everywhere. When I look at myself I see a man in scrubs hiding terror, because I know how terrified I was, no matter how jacked with pride. 

****

The screaming gets too much and I stumble backward, hitting something solid. Praying it's the door I fumble for the handle and fall out into the round room. 

****

The silence could kill. 

****

I almost want to jump out of my mind and not face any more horror but the golden handle on the next door is worn and peeling. It gives me hope that behind it will be something comfortable. With a deep breath I swing the door open and find myself in a vast library. Before me there's a table at which Wong sits, reading a huge book with earphones in. He takes them out when I approach.

****

“Yes?”

****

“what's in this library?” The ceiling seems endless.

****

“All your knowledge. To the left you'll find science and to the right magic. Behind me there's general knowledge” he explains, pointing in each direction when he covers it. 

****

“do I take out books?”

****

“you take many of these books out several limes a day. You're practically running around the library” He looks at me like I've lost it. Evidently this Wong doesn't know he only exists in my mind.

****

“which one do I read the most?” this is why I came here, to discover myself. 

****

“how to use your muscles and how to breathe” he states. I sigh. 

****

“no what do I read that isn't essential to my existence?” 

****

“This book” With a flick of the wrist Wong summons a red book in his hand and hands it to me. It reads Tony Stark in gold lettering on the front. I swallow. 

****

On reluctantly opening the book I'm staring at a blank page. Until it starts to form an image; Tony's posing for a picture in front of the tower in a suit and shades, then money rains down, then he turns into Iron Man and the Avengers walk into the page, posing by his side, but only the ones Tony has on his cabinet. This page is Tony's public image, what I knew of him already. 

****

The next page is Tony helping someone up as they've fallen. I recognise it's symbolic of his care for others, something I learned getting to know him. The following page is Tony and Peter sitting together going through his homework, my knowledge of him being a self denied father. I turn another page to him celebrating with the Avengers, probably after a battle, but all of a sudden everyone at the gathering walks out of frame and the brightly lit room goes dark. Tony falls to his knees and blood starts to pool around him. It looks like a reference to what we spoke about feeling invisible but being only human. 

****

I turn the page quickly to avoid seeing any more blood and I'm faced with Tony sleeping, strangely, his chest piece is human sized and it occupies the space next to him, he's got an arm draped over it. He finds safety in it, without it he's naked, that's what it says to me. 

****

The next shows him invested in building something, my knowledge of him being smart. Then I turn a page and Tony's standing, facing me, with a real smile on his face. An arm circles around him and splays over his heart. He welcomes the gesture, closing his eyes and relaxing his posture. But in a sudden movement the hand rips through Tony's chest and pulls out his heart. A wide eyed Tony falls dead out of the page. I watch in horror as the blood from his heart runs down the fingers grasping it. Then I look at the owner of the hand and  it's Steve Rogers. 

****

Deciding I've had enough I toss the book on the table and storm out of the library, closing the door with my back and just leaning there, trying to unsee that nightmare. 

****

I want to leave this place but I know that if I do I'll never have the guts to come back. So I venture through the third door and into a night sky. I don't know what I'm standing on, it seems like nothing as everywhere I look there's just stars and lights from the city below. Further in front there's a figure with no hair and a yellow robe. The ancient one. She notices me and approaches, looking as collected as she always did.

****

“Stephen” her voice echoes around me, “you have learned so much”

****

“All thanks to you”

****

“No you did it yourself. The same way you believe Tony Stark beat alcoholism himself”

****

“how do you know that?”

****

She smiles in that placid way she always did. “I'm in your mind. I know everything you know”

****

“am I on the right path? I recognise I've strained my oath to stay committed to the mystic arts lately”

****

“there is not right path, there is your path, and your path is good”

****

“Thank you”

****

“But you have a problem. You alone believe that you can handle your obstacles”

****

“I've been doing so and it's gone well”

****

“your obstacles will grow to be bigger than yourself”

****

“So I need what? A team?”

****

“no, you need friends, to always have your back when it can't handle your weight on its own”

****

“I understand”

****

“you are a good person Stephen. Show that to the world” with that she fades away, like she did when she died, and I'm alone.

****

I’m growing tired of being alone.

****

The next rooms small, maybe the size of a disabled toilet, and on the opposite wall of it are shelves. On the shelves white disks sit side by side, the first two rows if them project action figure sized holograms of people. Two of the people are lit up while the others stay dark. The two are Wong, on the second shelf, and Tony, on the first.  The others, I realise, project people I used to be close with; Christine, along with my two other ex girlfriends are here, so is the Ancient One, and more people who were friends or family. The discs that don't project anything must be waiting for me to get close to more people. It reminds me of what the Ancient One said. 

****

When I leave that room the next one is behind burned door. The handle has dents in it, like the Hulk tried to open it. I know what's behind it isn't going to be good, but I watched Tony get his heart ripped out of his chest so I suck it up and push the door open. 

A gust of strong wind practically slaps me in the face but it also saves me from falling onto a cliff edge since there's no floor in here. I lean further and spot a black sports car, squished at the nose and smoking. This is the accident. 

****

When I slam the door shut flakes of black wood come off in my shaking hand. 

****

I'm so happy that the next door is the last, yet stressed that it's telling me not to enter. Again, I think of the blood pooling in Steve's cuticles. The contents of this room shock me more than the middle of the sky or a cliff. This room contains a beautiful green field with a bright sun and blue butterflies flirting as they fly, yet it warned of danger. 

****

A few paces in front of me sits a man, Tony, in his black tank top and white boxers from the Skrull attack. My boots crunch in the grass as I come to stand next to him. He's sitting cross legged, pulling grass out of the earth.

****

“sit” he says softly. I do so. 

****

“where are we?”

****

“This is your happy place”

****

The sun's perfect, warming my face but not having me sweating in my robes. “then why does the door say do not enter?”

****

Tony finally looks away from the grass and into my eyes, “because for some reason you don't want to be happy”

****

“that's not true” I know my words are futile, Tony's in my mind so whatever he says is actually a cranny of my thoughts, meaning I know I don't want to be happy. 

****

“it is. You're afraid of happiness, maybe because you've never truly known it. Wong tells me you're always in the library but this is the first time you've ever come here” he sounds sad about it. 

****

Have I really never known happiness? It seems impossible when I'm almost 40, yet it doesn't, I've smiled and laughed in life but I've never felt truly excited about it. “how do I even get here then?” I gesture at the endless green dotted with yellow and white flowers. 

****

“I'm the only thing here, that means that having me will bring you to your happy place”

****

“I can't just  _ have _ you, it's not that simple in real life”

****

Tony makes a grumpy face and looks away from me. I try to touch his arm but my fingers go right though. He's a projection, but he looks so real. “why am I unattainable to you?” he turns back to me and he looks distressed, like the thoughts been bothering him forever. 

****

“because you're Tony Stark” I tell him. 

****

“I don't understand, I'm just a human, like you, money and fame doesn't make me any better than you”

****

“that's… that's not really it. You see you're a ball of sunshine and promise and I can't even find my happy place. I'm not good enough for you” I bow my head and stare at my shaking hands.

****

“well if you don't try with me you'll never get here in real life, so your choice is narrowed” he shrugs. 

****

“just because you're in my happy place doesn't mean I'm in yours” I point out. Who knows what roams in his field, if it isn't me then I don't know what i’d do.

****

“That's right, but are you really going live without ever knowing if that's the case?” 

****

“I don't know…” it would be the easy way out, to never say anything and live as his friend until he grows bored of me. But I remember how badly I wanted him to kiss me that morning in Montreal, could I handle that tension and disappointment until he grows bored of me?

****

Tony stands and looks down at me, there's something looming about it. “listen, I'm the only person who's ever lived in this field. I think I'm worth the leap” 

****

“what if I ruin you?” I mutter. We stare at each other for a moment, then he squats and picks an orange flower and places it on my lap. 

****

His eyes pierce so sharply I feel him going through me. “what if you fix me?” 

****

I'm rendered speechless. I pick up the flower and start to think that Tony isn't perfect in every way, he's been broken, by trauma, by Steve. I thought he had no room for improvement but his perfect pieces aren't together. 

****

I have more to ask but when I look up Tony's gone, nowhere to be seen. So I lie back on the grass and stare up at the blue, wondering what I should do. 

****

The orange flower smells like Tony; fresh, sweet and a tinge of metallic. 

****

Before long the soft wind and warm sun has me dozing off. Until a phone ring booms around me so loud I jump up and the ground shakes. 

****

Then the earth beneath me makes a cracking sound. All of a sudden my body breaks through the field, catapults into the circle floor, breaks through that and finally bursts through the hospital lobby. None of it hurts but I feel the breathless rush of falling through  black nothing. Then I'm back in my sanctum bedroom. I gasp and loose focus on floating, falling hard on my ass. The ringing's coming from my phone on my bed so I get on my knees fumble for it, answering without looking at the display.

****

“hello?” I try not to make it sound like I busted my ass as I rub it. 

****

“hey Sabrina how are you?” Tony's voice comes through. It feels weird speaking to him after the book and the field, I know so much more about him based on what I already knew, it's strange. 

****

“I'm alright. What's up?” 

****

“are you free right now?”

****

I debate for a moment, “um yea” this is good to help me decide what I should do about Tony.

****

“come to the compound. We're having a karaoke night”

****

“the Avengers? Are you sure you want me to come?” the idea of sitting between the Hulk and War Machine on a couch while the God of Thunder sings you give love a bad name intimidates me a little. 

****

“they asked for me to invite you actually”

****

“seriously?” my eyebrows fly up. That's a surprise. 

****

“well Peter brought you up and then I told everyone about you and now they really want to meet you”

****

“did you tell them I'm a Sorcerer?” I sit on my bed to digest all this information better. 

****

“a wizard. Yes. Is that okay?”

****

I smile at the correction, “I guess. They're Avengers” 

****

“So come?” while the question holds no pleasantries I hear them in his voice.

****

“alright give me the address I'll be there in 2” 

****

He tells me an address and we say our goodbyes. I look down at my robes and cloak. They might all have fancy suits but at a karaoke night no one would be wearing them so I snoop around in my wardrobe and change into a navy polo and black jeans. 

****

When I portal to the address I'm standing in front of a grey building with a huge A on the front of it, the same font as the one on the tower. As I walk to the front entrance I look over my shoulder to see a group of people jogging. They're wearing dark colours and have the same logo on their tops. When I get to the door there's no intercom, but an orange laser shined in my face.

****

“Dr Stephen Strange. Enter” a female voice says, the glass doors open out and I walk in, my footsteps echoing in an empty room. Again there's a huge A on one of the walls, backlit orange, and across the room there's a couple floating steps. I don't bother walking, instead I teleport to the stairs. It's another smaller passage with a black floor and lit walls. I teleport to the next set of stairs, but this time bump straight into Tony.

****

“wow” he steadies us both, “walking is a thing”

****

“I got bored” 

****

“what a luxury” he signals for me to follow him into an elevator and takes us to the fourth floor. When we come out the first thing I see is a kitchen, then next to it three couches and a flat screen tv in a square. On the couch facing the tv sit Dr Banner, Rhodes, Peter and Thor. There's music playing from a speaker next to the tv. 

****

“Stephen it's good to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you” Rhodey stands once we've approached the couch and shakes my hand. I notice he has a device attached to one of his legs. 

****

“good to meet you too” I wonder exactly what he's heard.

****

One by one I introduce myself to everyone and Thor moves to another blue couch so I can sit between Peter and Bruce. It's weird to see the man that can turn into the Hulk looks so calm and harmless.

****

“drink?” Tony asks me from the kitchen. I request a water and he brings me a glass before plopping down next to Thor. Thor is out of this world, if I didn't know Tony I'd say he's the most beautiful man I've ever seen. His long gold hairs loosely tied back, some strands framing his impeccably structured face and he has this admirable confidence about his posture. He's sitting like he's a king on his throne, even though he's on a couch wearing jeans and a purple t shirt too small for his humongous frame. I look at Tony sitting comfortably next to him and wonder why he even bothered with me. 

****

“Mr Strange could you show us some magic tricks?” Peter asks, looking wildly eager.

****

“like what? A balloon animal?” I joke, trying to lean back and just fit in. 

****

“a balloon animal is hardly magic” Tony points out.

****

“You're right” as I say that I magic a balloon octopus out of seemingly thin air and hand it to Peter.

****

“wooow” his eyes almost fall out at how big they become. It makes me smile. 

****

“show off” Tony grumbles, pulling the sleeves of his black top over his knuckles like he did in Montreal. Reflexively I wink at him but shrink back when I notice Bruce smirking at me. 

****

“So are you going to be joining the Avengers?” Rhodey asks.

****

I stare at him unblinkingly. "I don't know if that's-”

****

“I've been meaning to ask you. We need you” Tony interrupts.

****

“I have a commitment to the sanctum”

****

“Yea you'll only need to come to the fortnightly meeting and join us in battle” Tony informs, Thor nods next to him, he and Tony’s knees knock together and nothing’s made of it. I feel intimidated just by having his eyes on me.

****

“and come to the fun stuff” Peter adds.

****

I'm hesitating, until I remember the Ancient Ones words, and the small room with only two lit beacons. I need more than myself. “okay”

****

“wait really? I thought I'd have to bug you for weeks” Tony's says with raised brows. If I hadn't gone into my mind maybe that would have been the case. 

****

“no this is good for all of us and the world. There's no reason to say no” 

****

“let us sing to celebrate!” Thor calls, lifting his beer. 

****

Tony boots up the karaoke game and Thor goes first, singing a lovely rendition of the Immigrant song consisting of yelling and mumbling. It's so terrible I grow to love it. 

****

Peter's next up, he chooses I Write Sins Not Tragedies and although he can't sing he has the best time headbanging and screaming out the lyrics when the chorus comes around. I notice Tony sings along word for word, quietly, headbanging in his own little bubble. My heart aches for him. 

****

It takes some prompting but we get Bruce up next, he goes for good old Mr Brightside and even though he starts shily half way though he's dancing in front of the tv and yet again screaming the lyrics. It's been a common theme.

****

They pick on me next. While it was all fun and games before now I wish I hadn't given up drinking. I'm given the controller and I flick through song after song until The Fray catches my eye, specifically You found me. Peter hands me the microphone and I’m forced to take the stage. Similar to Bruce, I start of mumbling the lyrics on the screen and standing there like a wet mop, however when the chorus comes I’m not dancing but I’m swaying and singing clearly. When I’m halfway through the chorus I realise something about it;

****

_ Lost and insecure _

_ You found me, you found me _

_ Lying on the floor _

_ Surrounded, surrounded _

_ Why'd you have to wait? _

_ Where were you, where were you? _

_ Just a little late _

_ You found me, you found me _

****

It’s me. I’m lost and insecure and Tony’s found me, maybe it's not too late but he has found me, lying on the floor. Or is it Tony? Is he the one that’s lost and insecure? 

****

_ What If you fix me?  _ The phrase echoes in my head and I see the image of Tony standing above me with a backdrop of blue sky and the lighting of the sun. I look at the Tony in the here and now, the one that isn't lit by the sun or surrounded by a clear sky but the one that isn't hollow to the touch. As I sing he stares quietly, like maybe he’s realising the same thing. 

****

Eventually the song ends and It’s my turn to pass on the mic. I hand it to Rhodes and plop next to him on the couch. He resists a little, and Thor argues that he must sing, but it all sounds drowned to me as my thoughts lose themselves in Tony. Half way through Rhodey singing What A Wonderful World I start to pay attention again. He’s no Armstrong but for somebody who doesn't sing he’s very good and giving serious effort. When he’s done we all zero on Tony, the only one who hasn’t performed.

****

“Hey now I’m the judge I don't need to perform” He presses back into the couch and slurps on the black juice he has. I’m not sure I want to know what's in it.

****

“No one agreed to that” Bruce points out.  

****

“C’mon Tony you're the best singer here” Rhodes says, sitting on the coffee table and waving the mic at him. 

****

“He is?” Peter asks. 

****

“He hates singing in public, unless he’s wasted, and when he’s wasted he’s a terrible singer” Rhodes explains. For the first time I realise they really are best friends, not just based on the statement, but his expression, an amused smile but soft eyes. 

****

“Yes and I don't plan to ever drink again therefore I’ll never sing” Tony crosses his arms smugly, as if he’s won. At this point I’m dying to hear him sing. 

****

“Please I’ve heard you in the shower. He's so good you have no idea” He directs the second statement to us.

****

“Why have you heard him in the shower?” I ask. Were they an item once upon a time too?

****

“We lived together when we went to MIT” Rhodes smiles at me the same way Bruce did when I winked. He thinks I’m jealous probably, and I would have been if his answer was that they had gone out. This is getting out of hand. 

****

“Please Mr Stark” Peter pleads, “Do it for me?” Tony and Peter have an odd staring contest where Tony glares and Peter makes puppy eyes back. It goes on for about half a minute before Tony lets out the most dramatic sigh I’ve ever heard and snatches the mic from Rhodes. 

****

“I hate you” He says to Peter clearly meaninglessly and stands in front of the tv. He flicks for a while, hesitates on Riptide by Vance Joy, passes it, then goes back to it and picks it without a second breath. At first he’s caught up staring longingly at Thor's beer bottle, so much so he misses the first line and jumps in on the second one. When he sings the third,  _Oh, all my friends are turning green_ ,  he points at Bruce and it makes us all laugh. By the time he’s on the first chorus I’m absolutely shocked at how good of a singer he is. He has a soothing yet raspy voice, and its delicate.  I don't want him to ever stop.

****

_ I just wanna, I just wanna know _

_ If you're gonna, if you're gonna stay _

_ I just gotta, I just gotta know _

_ I can't have it, I can't have it any other way _

****

He sings the words and it's the most he loses himself in the song, holding the mic with both hands and wearing a crease between his brows, his eyes closed. After that he opens them and the rest of the song has him smiling and bopping along. That one part gives me chills though, maybe because of how raw Tony looked singing it, or maybe because I want that to be me he’s singing it to.

****

“Dude.” Bruce looks like he can't believe what he's heard either as he claps at Tony’s performance. 

****

“Told you” Rhodey remarks, smugly leaning back and resting his ankle on the knee of the leg with the glowing device attached to it. 

****

“That's the last time people” he throws his hands up. He’s smiling though, he had fun. That makes me smile too. 

****

“Awe Aunt May says I have to come home” Peter pouts at his Stark phone. Bless the kid, he’s been having such a good time. 

****

“Okay let me drop you” Tony says.

****

“No no no!” The kid springs up and backs away from all of us. 

****

“What's your deal? You love riding with me” Tony frowns. 

****

“I ate too many skittles. I’ll get sick” he grabs his backpack,  “I’m webbing home, bye!” with a wave and a little jog he disappears into the elevator. 

****

I process what he just said, “Is he Spiderman?” That ties everything together; why he’s friends with the Avengers yet not Tony’s actual son. And there's no other way ‘webbing home’ could possibly be interpreted. 

****

“Hardly a man” Tony scoffs, evidently hurt by his rejection. I chuckle at his fatherly pain.

****

The rest of us hang out for a while longer, discussing and cracking jokes about what it’s like to be an Avenger. They tell me about Steve scolding Tony for swearing and the running joke that became, Hulk punching Thor, Shakespeare in the park, Rhodey's subpar tank story -which he argues was a big hit among the normies-, the hammer lifting contest, Clint Barton's secret family, Vision winning the hammer lifting contest, and the iconic ‘you get killed, walk it off’, among other anecdotes. It helps me realise that the Avengers aren't really a group of co-workers, they’re a team of friends. It’s exactly what I might need, if they accept me, and after tonight I want them to. 

****

“Alright guys I only got four hours sleep last night so it's high time I turn in” Bruce announces, getting up. 

****

“Weak” Tony whispers. Bruce kicks him in the shin. 

****

“I will do the same” Thor also gets up, “It was good to meet you wizard. Welcome to the Avengers” After that the two of them head to the elevator and they’re gone.

****

“It’s not that straightforward. We’ll have to sit and do some paperwork” Tony explains, not seeming very excited about it. 

****

“So Stephen how's Christine?” Rhodey asks, finishing his glass of rum and coke. 

****

“We haven't spoken since we broke up”

****

“Oh was it ugly?” he asks sympathetically. I shake my head. 

****

“It was the same thing as Pepper and I” Tony interjects. Rhodey nods in understanding. 

****

“Are you staying here tonight Tones?”

****

“Yep”

****

Rhodey seems pleased at that reply. 

****

“Imma head out. Stephen I would offer you a ride but I came in the suit” he says, pulling on his leather jacket. That's more than convenient for me. 

****

“What are you talking about you're not allowed to use the suit yet”

****

“Yes I am Tony” he says pointedly, like he’s trying to tell Tony something. He seems to get the message, rolling his eyes and escorting his friend to the elevator. I follow. “What are you guys going to get up to?” He asks as the doors open, a little smile on his face like somethings amusing. 

****

“I'll probably portal home soon” I shrug. After everything that's happened today I don’t think I could be alone with Tony, I don't know what I would say that doesn't involve me spilling all over the floor. 

****

“I have a meeting tomorrow so I'll attempt to sleep”

****

Rhodey steps into the elevator and faces us. He sighs and he looks beyond exasperated. Then he speaks; “Stephen, Tony's in love with you"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Drop a comment x   
> (I cliff hangered you hehe)


	7. Visitors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning begins with Stephen waking next to Tony and ends with Tony's nightmares knocking at his door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut. ye. It's not very detailed, so I'm sorry or you're welcome, depends on how much sauce you like on your meals ;)

The elevator doors shut and it's just me and him. Me and the man that’s ‘in love with me’. It’s so shell shocking I realise I’ve been staring at the spot where Rhodey's face was for ages. I don't know what to do, I’m afraid to look at him but I want his eyes to show me if that's a truth or lie. 

****

I have to know, so I turn to his rigid form next to me. My gaze seems to bring him to life and he steps away, putting his hands up in defence, “I’m not in love with you” 

****

My heart's caught in a painful death grip at his words and I finally know exactly what I want. And what I haven't gotten.

****

“I just have a little bit of feelings for you” he murmurs, looking at my chest rather than face. 

****

The hand suddenly lets go of my heart. 

****

“You don't have to worry, I won't act on them, I know you don't like gu-” Tony can’t finish speaking because the releaf his confession brings makes me thoughtlessly grab him by the shirt and capture his lips with mine. It's different to kissing a woman, specifically because of the scrape of facial hair, but it's the most breath taking kiss of my life. It lights me up inside. 

****

When we separate Tony looks like he got slapped in the face, staring at me unmoving and wide eyed. “I'm sorry if that crossed a line” I breathe, still holding on to his top and searching his eyes for an indication that it didn't. Now that I've felt his soft lips once I want to do it again and again. He stares for a moment longer then something snaps, he grabs the back of my head and his lips are back on mine. We start off slow, eventually our tongues touch and I learn how he tastes; like adrenaline. 

****

We start to hasten, kisses getting more frantic and hands wandering; he has his fingers steeped in my hair and I press him flush against me with hands grabbing at his back. He sets me on fire. 

****

I ache so strongly to be close to him I end up leading us to the kitchen and pressing Tony against the edge of the counter. The impact makes the kiss break. “what happened to being straight?” he gasps, face flushed and stunning. 

****

“you did” 

****

That satisfies him enough to grab my collar and smash our lips together again. I take and take from him like he's the forbidden fruit and I'm so caught up in the heat of his mouth and his nails digging in my back I only realise he's lead us to the elevator when my back slams against the hard wall. 

****

“why’d you lie about it?” Tony asks when he leans away for breath. 

****

“I've never liked a man like this before and I panicked” I breathe, my chest heaving. He smiles, shakes his head, and grabs my collar again, but this time to reach my earlobe. He clips at it with his teeth and teases it with his tongue. I hit my head back against the wall and feel electric all the way through. 

****

As he moves down to my jaw I picture having sex with him for the first time. I sigh and slump against the wall at the beauty of the thought.

****

The elevator doors open and Tony pulls me out by the hips, unsteadily leading us down a hallway lined with opaque glass doors. We stop at one and he slaps his palm onto the door. It beeps faintly and in we stumble into what must be his bedroom. Without hesitation he pushes me onto his bed and crawls on top, it's like the time in Montreal, except now I'm not afraid to slip my hand under his top and anchor my shaking hand to his hip. His skins scorching. 

****

He goes back for my neck but this time biting not kissing. Christine used to nip playfully in places but she was never like this, sinking her teeth in like she wanted to know what I tasted like. I find pleasure from the pain and a sound escapes me that illustrates that. 

****

While I slip my hand gradually up the centre of his back he unbuttones my jeans and pulls down my fly. It sounds terribly loud between our heavy breaths. I manage to use my toes to get my shoes off from the heel in time for him to pull my jeans off. I take that as a pass to pull his top off and toss it behind me. He's wearing a white tank top too and when I go to remove it he captures my wrist. 

****

“do you mind if I keep it on?” he asks sincerely. There must be something he's conscious of, maybe scars from his surgery. 

****

“no that's okay” I smile and pull him down for a slow sweet kiss, a reminder that this is more than just carnal desire, that I care about him more than I've ever cared about anyone.

****

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he stops to asks, looking past the arousal sparking in the space around us to be straight. 

****

“I've ah, never been with a man before” I'm familiar with what involves having sex with a man of course but it's a different area to what I'm used to. Particularly being on the receiving end, that sounds like a whole new world I can't wrap my head around, not that I'm not willing to explore with Tony.

****

“Oh that's right, if you're not ready we can wait” he backs up and sits on my lap. It makes me groan for all the right reasons and I definitely don't fancy waiting to have him.

****

“I want to, could you just coach me through?” I feel weird opening up about it and asking for help, but the Ancient One is right, I need this change. Maybe she didn't mean it exactly this way but the application works. 

****

“I can do that. As long as you're sure you want to” 

****

“Yes Tony I'm sure” I laugh. Of course I want to and Tony should be able to tell even just by feeling what's going on in my lap but his concern for consent is heart warming anyway.  

****

I'm not laughing anymore when Tony strips the rest of my clothes and slides down, kissing the inside of my thigh and looking up at me mischievously. Something inside me dies and goes to heaven. 

****

He splays his hand on my stomach and I wonder why until he suddenly takes me in his mouth and I'm arching all the way off the bed with a groan. He uses it to push me back down. 

****

I ball my fist in Tony's black sheet and screw my eyes shut. He's magic with his mouth, having my toes curling and my body floating to a higher plane of existence. I decide to look down at him and I don't know if that's a great decision or a terrible one, because the sights amazing and he's looking right into my eyes almost innocently, like he isn't sinning all over the bed. It's too much, I have to work really hard to not let go and end this early. 

****

Thankfully, yet sadly, Tony stops. He shimmies up the bed to reach his dresser and since his crotch is pretty much over my face I take the opportunity to rid him of his jeans. He shimmies back down and places an orange packet on my chest, then comes all the way off the bed to pull off his jeans and black boxers. I'm caught up staring at the glory of his body and don't take my eyes off him as he returns to the bed and retrieves a travel sized lube bottle. 

****

“finger me?” he asks, holding the bottle out to me. Another part of me drops dead. 

****

The statement has me somehow more aroused than I was before as I fumble to open the lube and squeeze out a generous amount on my fingers. This I'm familiar with, it's the same as with a woman, other than entry sight. 

****

I position myself over him, so we're face to face. I want to see him when I push my fingers in. It starts with a little wince but eventually he's scraping at my shoulders and arching off the bed. When I'm sure my back must be bleeding and Tony says he's ready I search for the condom packet and put the thing on. When I'm in I'm the one ripping the skin on his thigh. It's so much I almost bite through my lip and have to stop several times to regain composure so I can hear Tony's delicious moans and feel this mind numbing pleasure a little longer. 

****

It's slow lovemaking, and every second is beautiful. 

* * *

 

****

In the morning I wake to; “what about the Vision?” some blinking later I see that Tony's lying down with his phone in his hand. He's on a FaceTime call with a man with white hair. 

****

“He signed” it doesn't sound like they're having a friendly conversation. 

****

“I know Tony but where is he?” the man asks, crossing his arms. 

****

“I don't know. He turned off his transponder”

****

“you can't just lose track of a dangerous weapon”

****

“Vision is  _ not _ a weapon” Tony snaps. He looks really mad at that.

****

“maybe you should quit sleeping with people and try to find him” the man on the screen retorts. 

****

“why don't you get off my back and find whatever's lodged up your ass?” Tony cuts the call and tosses his phone on the dresser, sighing hard. Then he turns to me and all the venom is gone, he smiles so sweetly I almost taste it. 

****

“who was that?” as usual my voice sounds like sandpaper. 

****

“the Secretary of state. Nice man isn't he?” He reaches for my neck and brushes his fingers over it, his smile turns satisfied. Must be bite marks. 

****

“totally” I pull the sheet up to my nose for some warmth. It smells faintly of a workshop, sweat, metal, motor oil. I picture Tony coming straight from his workshop and passing out here.

****

“your voice is sexy in the morning” 

****

“And in the evening it's not?” 

****

“no it most definitely still is smartass” he scoots over and throws his arm over my chest, getting us into a comfortable cuddle. I bury my nose in his hair and suddenly want to cry. I have Tony in my arms, warm, brighter than the sun Tony.

****

“sorry smartassery comes with the goatee” I say instead of bursting into tears of joy. 

****

“you're not wrong” 

****

We lie together for about half hour, I spend most of the time playing with Tony's honey smelling hair and he spends it falling in and out of sleep.

****

“it's 10:30” Tony murmurs out of nowhere. I turn to the dresser clock and that's exactly what it tells me.

****

“you hungry?” he asks a few seconds of silence later. I've had too much to think about to consider my stomach but when I do it is empty.

****

“very actually. I burned all my calories last night” I say smugly. I've slept with Tony, I plan to show that off like a shiny pin, to him at least.  

****

“haha” He deadpans, rolling to the other side of the bed and reaching for the floor. He retrieves my polo and instead of giving it to me puts it on. You can tell it's maybe a size too big but he wears it well. Then he crawls out of bed to put on the correct jeans and tosses his black long sleeve at me. It stretches a little on the shoulders but otherwise it's a good fit.

****

When we're dressed we head back to the kitchen and Tony takes a snoop in the cupboards, all they have is a box of chocolate cupcakes and coffee so that's what we eat. “So what's today's plan?” I ask between bites of chocolate chip goodness. 

****

“I was thinking we go through the Avengers paperwork then to the tower” Tony explains, leaning his hip on the edge of the sink with a black reading #1 dad in white. It makes me chuckle. “and then maybe I'll take you to a fancy dinner that doesn't involve Joseph” He adds. 

****

“I like that. How Is he by the way?” I smile down at my white SI mug and wish it was sentient so I could tell it how unbelievable it is that Tony Stark's taking me out to dinner. 

****

“according to Maria he doesn't remember a thing about Skrulls and what happened when we found him. They convinced him he just got hammered and was out of it for a whole day” it might be a little mean that we both find that amusing. “Alright I'm gonna prepare the paperwork. Friday direct Stephen to my shower and then to the conference room” Tony says, putting our mugs in the sink.

****

“you aren't gonna join me?” 

****

“go before I'm tempted” he turns his back to me, hiding a smile and grabbing a sponge to wash up. I don't press, he didn't want to show me what was under his top last night when we got as intimate as any two people can get, I don't expect him to now. 

****

Tony's AI is excellent at directions, she takes care of directing the elevator and has Tony's bedroom door light up bright orange so I can find it. After I've showered I put on the same clothes, open a portal to grab my hair wax and quickly tame it and again Friday takes the wheel, letting me off on the second floor and telling me to take left, then right, to reach a room with glass walls and a big table lined with seats. Tony's in there flicking through a folder. He's just standing there focusing on what he's reading but he looks so gorgeous. 

****

He notices me come in and smiles at the folder. I don't know how things so small make me warm inside. “alright these are the accords” he slides the folder across the table and I grab it in motion. It's white and it has ‘Sokovia Accords’ written on the front of it, “what you most need to know is that it's up to the government what we do or don't do and I'll have to tell them who you are”

****

“I don't like the sound of either of those things. How could they possibly understand what I have to fight against?” if Dormammu comes back to destroy Earth I will not be waiting around for the government to approve it, they have no autonomy over other dimensions and realms anyway  

****

“Yea I amended a loophole into it. Anything you do independently isn't judged based on these accords, only when you come out as part of the Avengers. Also they don't have autonomy over foreign matters such as aliens and interdimensional stuff. And sorry to break it to you but if Hydra was onto you that means Shield knows about you which means the government can already access your information” Tony could argue himself into presidency. I'm convinced of it. 

****

“you make a point. How come you didn't know about me then?” I pull out a chair and sit, flicking through the accords. 

****

“well I knew you were coined as a threat to Hydra, I just didn't know why. Shield don't tell me things” He grumbles the last part. 

****

“do they know why?” 

****

“not exactly. That's what I'll have to clue them in on”

****

“and say what?” I'm wary of the government knowing about the world of the mystic arts. It's gone untouched for centuries, I don't want to be the one who ruins that.

****

“you're a wizard” Tony says like it's dead obvious. 

****

I don't even have the energy to sigh, “And you don't think they'll have questions?”

****

“I'll tell them you do magic” 

****

“I don't want the world of mystic arts to become public knowledge” 

****

“it won't. I'll tell Ross you got your powers from an accident or something” very cliché, we both know it, but that's it's strength. 

****

“what if they watch me?”

****

“your worlds hidden from us since it came to existence. If it can reveal itself just through tailing one guy I'd be concerned. I'll sort it though” again, he argues a good point. 

****

“anyway, the last page of the accord has a space for you to sign. Once you do you have to adhere to it or you'll face court. You'll also be an official Avenger”

****

“I'm kinda not that excited about being one now”

****

“I know it sucks but you'd be surprised how much you can get away with”

****

“So is this all?” 

****

“no, now there's the fun stuff. Let's talk facilities” he picks up a small clicker and turns on the screen at the front of the room. It displays the tower, compound and other buildings I don't recognise. “your Avengers clearance card will get you into all these places, how far you get once you're in depends but here we have labs, living facilities, state of the art training rooms and all that jazz”

****

“I haven't seen you use a clearance card once here” I notice. 

****

“because I own this place”

****

“you have one in the tower”

****

“Yes that's because the towers AI, apart from on the top 3 floors, is Jocasta and she isn't wired like Friday in terms of Tony Stark recognition software”

****

“right” it's hard to believe the things Tony explains sometimes, they sound so futuristic.

****

“anyway we also have a weekly leisure activity for team bonding which is fun. This week was karaoke as you know”

****

“hey kids” into the room walks Rhodey, he looks from me to Tony and back and grins, loaded with self satisfaction.

****

“what has you here friend? And are you okay?” Tony frowns at how much Rhodes is smiling.

****

“I'm very great, I have no business here I just came to see if my comment yesterday had the desired effect. I can see very clearly that it did” he must be talking about us switching tops. And the marks. 

****

“how did you even know?” I ask him. Did Tony tell him? 

****

“Tony talks about you  _ all the time _ ” he rolls his eyes. I blink in surprise. I guess it makes sense but I always imagined Tony would be to busy turning profits or punching aliens to talk about stuff like that. 

****

“okay Rhodey” Tony says in an attempt to get him to shut up. I in turn want him to continue.

****

“it was getting bad” He tells me. I adopt a similar smile to Rhodeys and shoot it at Tony. He looks uncomfortable to say the least. 

****

“anyway, Stephen I'm not gonna beat around the bush with his; you hurt Tony I put you in hospital” Rhodey tells me, smiles and jokes all gone.

****

“Yes sir” I'm more than happy to oblige, if I hurt Tony I deserve to be put in hospital.

****

“that's a bit much” Tony comments. 

****

“you think? Next time I see Steve I'm putting him in a morgue” 

****

I'd do the exact same, if it wasn't for the Hippocratic oath.

****

“Sir you have visitors” Fridays voice states from above. I'm yet to get used to it. The screen switches to a feed of the front entrance and we're looking at a blonde woman next to a man with dark hair and a metal arm. 

****

“this can't be happening” Tony breaths. Rhodey looks just as shocked as him. 

****

Both of them leave the room in haste and I follow, not sure what's going on but knowing it's probably not good. Eventually we make it to the front entrance and Tony commands Friday to let the visitors in. Face to face I recognise the woman as Black Widow, one of the original Avengers, and Barnes, who’s picture was everywhere when he allegedly blew up the UN.

****

Tony walks up to Natasha Romanov and only stops when they're nose to nose. Just when Rhodey and I give each other a confused look he reaches behind her and scoots back. He's holding a gun and pointing it right between Barnes’ brows. The whole move is shockingly impressive until I remember Tony used to be a weapons tycoon, then it makes sense.

****

“why did you bring him?” He flicks his wrist, and by extension the gun, at Barnes. He doesn't flinch in the slightest, just looks tired. 

****

“he's the only person I trust” Natasha tells Tony.

****

“seriously? Barnes?” His voice peaks in what’s probably shock.

****

“the Wakanda's fixed me” He says. His voice is deep and low, it sounds as if he’s spoken out of turn and feels intrusive. 

****

“don't talk to me” Tony snaps back. It sounds so cruel I’m not sure who I’m looking at anymore. 

****

“Steve's missing” Natasha interjects. Tony falters. 

****

“and the first thing you do is come  _ here _ ?”

****

“we don't know how long he's been missing. He got… replaced” She says, her eyes drifting. 

****

“What?” Rhodey asks. I already have an idea of what she’s talking about.

****

“shit. The Skrulls” Tony comes to the same assumption as me. 

****

“Yea. We have it in a van outside” Natasha points behind her. 

****

“how do we know you aren't Skrulls?” Tony asks her. Poor Rhodes looks utterly baffled. 

****

“the one we have couldn't remember anything Steve more than about 6 months ago” She explains.

****

“alright Nat what was I doing the first time we met?” Tony asks her. It confuses me why Tony’s not pointed the gun at her once even though she’s just as much of an intruder as Barnes, he keeps the weapon fixed on him even when he’s not looking at the man. It’s obvious he really hates him for some reason, I’m not sure why. 

****

“sparring with Happy. Pepper was there too” 

****

That satisfies him, he looks to Barnes, “which of my parents did you murder first?” 

****

The silence that follows the question reminds me of the sound of a patient flatlining. Shock, dread, and death permeates the air.

****

Everything's put into perspective, Barnes is the best friend who killed Tony’s parents. It makes me look at the man very differently, his appearance doesn't change at all, he’s still got long greasy hair, dark under eyes and a beard in progress, but he morphs into a monster. He becomes ugly. 

****

Barnes swallows, “your father” 

****

I jump at the loud bang that immediately follows Barnes’ quiet words and my heart stops when he hits the ground. A good look proves that Tony shot him in the metal shoulder, it bears a bright scrape and the faintest of smoke emits from the seemingly impenetrable metal. 

****

“I should kill you” Tony growls, standing over him with the gun pointed once again at his forehead. 

****

“Tony please” Natasha pleads, crouching by him to help him up. 

****

“let's see the Skrull” he demands. Finally I understand that he was right, he does have hard edges, sharp ones that can cut diamond, and Barnes brings them out. 

****

“wait I want to ask you three questions” Nat holds a hand up to halt Tony in his step. 

****

“that's fresh of you after coming here uninvited with  _ him _ ” He spits, flicking the gun in Barnes’ direction again. This time he twitches a little. 

****

“Rhodey how did you first get a suit?”

****

“Tony was wasted, we had an embarrassing fight and I flew away with it”

****

“Tony where's my birthmark?”

****

“under your right boob. It's an upside down heart shape. Let's go” he attempts to walk past Natasha but she sticks an arm out, cutting him off.

****

“wait. What about him?” she points at me. I’m too busy coming to the realisation that Tony and Natasha have slept together to respond. 

****

“Stephen do some magic” Tony orders over his shoulder. 

****

I snap out of my rabbit hole, bump my fist against my open palm, cross my arms, and when I uncross them two orange disks spark from my hands. Natasha, Rhodes and Barnes are taken aback. 

****

“Skrulls can't do that” Tony says. 

****

“can you be sure?” They're so close and when she looks up into his eyes I can't help but picture things I really don't want to see. 

****

“Fury told me so. I trust him most of the time” 

****

Natasha's hand drops to her side, “you've seen Nick?”

****

“Skrull” Tony reminds her. This time she lets him walk past and all of us file out of the compound. Their van is grey and has a small shield logo above the back wheel. Barnes pulls the doors open and we all gather around to peer inside. It’s definitely a skrull, they’ve tied its wrists and ankles. It’s unconscious and wearing a grey shirt and navy jogging shorts. I couldn't quite picture Captain America in the outfit. 

****

Tony hooks his arms under its armpits and drags it out of the van carelessly, then he looks at all of us expectantly. Barnes is the first to catch on and takes hold of the aliens legs. They carry it in and we follow. 

****

I’ve never been in a more uncomfortable elevator ride; Tony refuses to look at anybody, Barnes’ looks like he’d rather jump off a moving train than be here, Rhodes is still totally confused and eyeing the Skrull suspiciously and Natasha looks torn in half. There's also practically no space between any of us, which makes everything worse. 

****

On the second floor of the compound there's an interrogation room, to which Tony leads us. He and Barnes dump the Skrull on the only chair in the dingy room. Tony snaps his fingers at me and points at it. I know what  he means, he wants me to bind it like I did to the last one, but the lack of respect he does it with hurts.

****

As I cast the spell I shoot him a look to express he hurt me and the look he returns blows me away in the worst way; It’s venom, it's ‘what's your deal?’ or ‘piss off’ or something just as horrible. I look in his eyes and don't recognise them.

****

“You all deal with this. I’m going to take a shower” he turns on his heel and heads decisively for the door.

****

“We won't be able to figure this out without you Tony” Natasha tells him softly. He pauses with his hand on the handle. She’s right, he knows the most about the Skrulls, he’s the best at questioning, and the smartest of us all. 

****

Tony turns and the look on his face makes me fear he’s going to pull out the gun from his pocket and kill her, “Now you realise that!?” he roars, veins bursting from his neck, “Well it's too late Nat” he adds. Its soft and  _ so  _ sad. Then he’s gone. 

****

I can't be mad at him, instead I realise that inside him somethings completely and utterly broken. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oohh what will happen next?   
> (Drop a comment they always make my day x)


	8. Hand in Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's the man of the hour; he solves a riddle, flies a jet, buys everyone Chinese, disassembles a gun and saves the last person in the world he wants to see. 
> 
> or
> 
> “Can I hold it?”   
> “My dick? Please, go ahead”   
> “I hate you”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you were wondering where the famous hot Cheetos fit in this is the chapter to find out.

“I’m sorry I came. I just didn't know where else to go” Nat says after a long stretch of silence. 

****

“You made the right call” Rhodey tells her as he circles the chair to get a better inspection of the Skrull. 

****

“Yea this is my fault” Barnes says from the corner he’s brooding in. There's a real haunted look about him. 

****

“Buck don't go there. You didn't mean to kill them” She tells him delicately. 

****

“I’m sorry how does one accidentally kill someone's parents?” I interrupt, glaring at Barnes, ready to summon a blade and remind him what it’s like to lose a limb if he even steps the wrong way.

****

Natasha stares at me with creased brows, “Who are you?”

****

“He’s Dr Strange. New Avenger. Now can we forget all this and focus on this” Rhodes points down at the skrull who seems to be rousing. 

****

The second it can hold its head upright Natasha ambushes it, pulling out a dagger from god knows where and holding it close to its green throat. “Where's Steve Rogers?” She's no longer regretful and comforting, she's now what I imagined Black Widow to be.

****

“Why should I tell you?” the alien has a gravely yet high voice. 

****

“Do you want to die instead?” Natasha threatens, the knife presses closer. 

****

“Not particularly” it doesn't look that afraid to die, unless it's a bluff.  

****

“Are you part of the Rebels?” I ask it, stepping forward, everyone's confused now. 

****

“I’m the deputy commander of the rebel group” It boasts, probably a mistake. 

****

“Where’s the commander?” Rhodes follows. 

****

“I don’t know”

****

“How many of you are there?” I ask. 

****

“I don't know either”

****

“You're not very good at your job” Barnes comments in his dark voice. 

****

“How long have you been acting as Steve?” Rhodey says.

****

“A week. You're very astute” The Skrull nods to Natasha. 

****

“It's kind of obvious when I mention the Howling Commandos and you think it’s a band” she deadpans. 

****

“Wait so how did you realise he was a skrull if you didn't know about them before this?” I ask her. 

****

“We went on a run and he scraped his leg on a broken branch. His blood was purple so knocked him out then he turned into that. I looked it up and the shield database told me it was a skrull” I start to see how Tony and her might have had a thing, they share aspects of each other, like smarts and switching from kind to cold so drastically.

****

I want to see him and promise I’ll fix him, even if it takes years, but some time alone is probably what he needs.

****

“Smart” Rhodey tips his head in approval.

****

“That was a week ago, I contacted Bucky and we tried to find him but got zero leads”

****

“What happened to Sam, Clint and Scott?” Rhodes asks. Again, I have no clue who these people are. 

****

“Scott and Clint are trying to make it work with their families and someone had to stay at our hideout” She explains.

****

I don't care for what those men are up to so I move on with the questioning, “What will it take for you to disclose Steve's location?”

****

“You won't let me go and there's nothing else I want, so I’ll keep my silence until you kill me” I hadn't expected that but it makes a surprising amount of sense.

****

“We’ll wait you out” Barnes says, coming up to stand next to me. It makes me twitchy. 

****

“Your friend will die. A skrull can survive two weeks without water. A human will last 5 days at the most”

****

“By that logic Steve would already be dead” Barnes says, his eyes suddenly turn very dangerous. I wonder if he killed Tony’s parents with those eyes. 

****

“There's no way, you’d tell us where he is if he was” Rhodes says, and it sounds like he’s more using the statement to assure everyone than make an argument. I of course couldn't care less whether he’s dead or alive. 

****

“Would I?” the skrull smiles at us.

****

Barnes wipes that smile right off when he drives his elbow across its face. It’s out cold straight away, purple blood starting to trickle out of its nose. “Sorry it pissed me off” 

****

“Did the Starks piss you off too?” I can't help but ask bitterly. Barnes looks at me and instead of angry he’s hurt. 

****

All of a sudden there's a gun pointing at me, “You have no idea what happened” Natasha stares me dead in the eyes and that look could freeze a flame. The amount of weapons she has on her is a bit concerning, but I don't focus on that so much as the disrespect she has in pointing that thing at me. So I cast an molecular enchantment in my head that makes her gun heat until it burns her hand and she drops it with a yelp. 

****

“I’d suggest not doing that again” I warn in a low voice as she shakes her hand frantically. 

****

Rhodes steps between us, "Before you all kill each other we need Tony”  

****

“I’m going to talk to him” I announce before striding out. When I get to Tony’s room Friday lets me in and I find him sitting on the edge of his bed in a tight black tee and dark track pants with an orange line running down the side. He’s holding his reactor and turning it over in his hands. He’s so far away he doesn't even realise I’m here until I sit next to him.

****

“I was awful. I’m sorry” He says, not while looking at my face but that doesn't matter so much. I notice the skin peaking out of crewneck is red like it would be if you shower in water too hot. It makes me crack inside. 

****

“I get it” I hesitate at first, then decisively rest a hand on his centre back.

****

“I’m still a jerk, you don’t deserve my anger towards Barnes”

****

“Could you tell me what happened? Natasha said something about it being an accident”

****

He sighs profoundly, “It wasn't an accident but it also wasn't his fault, that's the only reason I haven't killed him. He was brainwashed by Hydra at the time, he had been for many years”

****

“And now?” he doesn't seem that way, he seems like an injured puppy, always shrinking away and with nothing but pain in his eyes. 

****

“I’ve spoken to T’challa. All of that's been broken off and now he's pure cut James Buchanan Barnes”

****

“And is that a good guy?”

****

“Yea, better than Steve anyway” he sighs. 

****

“Are you comfortable with this? Helping them find him?” Natasha came to his doorstep and I don't ever want him to forget that he can walk away, he's not forced to do anything. 

****

“Of course. I might hate him but I couldn't ever let him die or stay missing” he says very unenthusiastically, like he's annoyed that he feels that way. 

****

“Alright. Do you wanna come down and help us then?”

****

“Yea yea” he slaps his reactor on, this time over his clothes, and it clicks into place. He must have some kind of magnet on his chest. 

****

“Stephen?” he says as we're leaving the room. I turn around and he tips his head up to kiss my lips. He doesn't say anything, just smiles a little, but it means everything to me. 

****

* * *

 

****

“alright let's get this over with” Tony says, he's the last to sit, at the head of the conference table. “Friday I told you to record the interrogation” I'm impressed that over his distress Tony still made a smart play.  

****

“Yes sir” the AI starts to play an audio recording from when the Skrull wakes up and Natasha asks it the first question. As the recording continues we all watch Tony, he's not taking it lightly, sitting with his head propped on three fingers and seeming deep in thought. Friday cuts the recording right after Barnes says the Skrull pissed him off. I feel as if I owe her a thanks for not putting Tony through the whole confrontation with Barnes and Nat. 

****

“Nat where did Steve frequent?” Tony asks her. 

****

“mainly our hideout building, he'd jog in the forest too but we decided he shouldn't go into public places, he's too recognizable”

****

“Alright well it's quite obvious where he might be”

****

I fail to understand how Tony was underappreciated when he puts things together like it's Childs play.

****

“do share” Rhodey encourages. 

****

Tony tosses his phone on the table after tapping a few things and it projects a model of a small beat up building next to a bridge and surrounded by forest, “So your hideout is right by a bridge. Everybody crosses that bridge to come and go so it's unlikely he's anywhere near it”

****

“I'm sorry you know where our hideout is?” Nat stares at the hologram of her secret home in disbelief. 

****

He looks at her like the questions stupid, “I know everything. Anyway he could be somewhere in the forest but if you jog there too it might be too much of a risk. Therefore he must be somewhere in the building” he sticks his finger in the building, making it glow, and flicks everything else away, isolating it. 

****

“what makes you think he's not further out?” Barnes asks, I wonder if it annoys him that his hair constantly falls over his eye. 

****

“it's clear when you consider everything, the likelihood is that the Skrull posed as one of the guys, they're boring enough to be easily replaced, and watched Steve's routines. If it spent all its time doing that it'd be most familiar with the places Steve frequents, that's the first clue. Also going on the assumption that Steve is alive, the Skrull must be giving him food and water, so he has to be somewhere where Steve Rogers would go anyway so he doesn't make it suspicious”

****

“and if he isn't?” Rhodes asks. That's the real question. 

****

Tony shrugs, “then he's dead. But the Skrull could have reasons for keeping him alive, like trying to get information, learn his behaviour, use him as a bargaining chip, observe him. Fury said Skrulls can only turn into people they've seen, maybe if it killed Steve and forgot what he looked like that would be a problem so it wouldn't kill him”

****

“So there's no way of knowing?” Natasha clarifies. 

****

“no but let's hope. In riding on the Skrull being an idiot”

****

“it seems quite smart” Barnes comments. 

****

“Yes, seems. The smart play would be to kill Steve of course, it’d cover anything up and remove him as a threat. But I think this Skrull is trying to be too smart so it's kept him alive as a result”

****

“how could we not have found him if he's under our noses?” Natasha asks herself more than anyone. 

****

“Let's see… you called Bucky from Wakanda which would take a day or two, then you outsourced to find him didn't you?” Tony theorizes. 

****

“no my first move was to search the whole facility” she says. 

****

Tony's quick to adapt, “that opens up to the possibility that the Skrull would know that, since he's watched you, hid Steve somewhere else, and then put him on the compound after you decided he wasn't in it”

****

“Steve's a heavy guy” Barnes comments, looking like he can't quite believe his own words. 

****

“Skrulls have super strength” I tell him.

****

“alright let's not argue the endless possibilities and start with your base. Suit up Avengers we’re riding the Quinjet” the statement sounds like it should be packed with excitement to real up the team but Tony takes the life right out of it. I guess the reality of being an Avenger isn't as cartoony as we all imagine. 

****

I'm worried how my trauma will handle a jet but being sat somewhere that isn't near to any windows and Tony's smooth piloting suppresses most of my anxiety. 

****

He called seatbelts off about 5 minutes ago and Natasha's the first to take advantage of it, coming to sit next to me. “can I help you?” I look her up and down, she's wearing a black leather suit and an army green vest. 

****

“Just wanna figure you out. So how did you meet Tony and Rhodey?”

****

“I work for SI” I tell her curtly, looking straight ahead. 

****

“oh that's always a fun experience” she chuckles. The more she speaks the more I feel I need to figure her out. “So are you and Tony an item?”

****

“what made you guess that?” Nothing Tony and I have done in front of her has suggested that, he's being so systematic there's no space for longing looks and concealed smiles. 

****

“nothing. I just want it to be true that he's found someone else” 

****

“I guess he has then” I hope. 

****

She rests a hand on my shoulder, “good. You hurt him and I make you eat your own arm” 

****

“Can you say that? No offence but it looks like you chose Steve not Tony” I shrug her hand off. I'm surprised she's even willing to touch me after I burned her.

****

“I'll have you know I signed the accords. I don't even need to hide. But Steve and I have been through a lot together and I'm just trying to help him. He's not a bad person you know”

****

“if you say so” If what Tony's told me is true bad person is exactly what he is. 

****

“I will agree he's not good enough for Tony though” she concedes.

****

“were you?”

****

“what?” she tips her head a little.

****

“well you used to sleep together, you weren't in a relationship?” the words feel tacky in my throat. 

****

She blinks, then shakes her head. “no it was just sex”

****

“how did you even get to that?” 

****

She smiles and shrugs. “well one day we just decided to be crazy and do it, turns out he's very good at it so it became a thing” 

****

I regret asking, now I have to delete the image of them together again. It does have me wondering what Tony's like on top though. “nice”

****

Soon Tony's directing the jet slowly nose down and we land among trees and bush that hit the front glass loud as the muddy ground slows us down. The shaking must be what if feels like for an ant to crawl on my hand. 

****

“you could have ran Steve over” Rhodes jokes as we all unfasten our belts and get out of our seats.

****

“now that would be convenient” Tony retorts with a smirk. At least he's not completely stony. 

****

Interestingly I catch Barnes smiling at the joke and it helps me picture that he's more than a murder. 

****

“the bridge is 5 minutes northwest” Tony tells us when we make it down the ramp and into greenery. When he points in the direction I can just about see the bridge behind all the trees  if I squint. That's enough for me to teleport us all to it though. I manage to grab Tony's elbow when he stumbles but Rhodey and Nat have to hold on to each other for stability and Barnes falls on his butt.

****

“that was me” I clarify so they don't think they've gone mad. They all look like they want to say something but nothing comes so we cross the bridge and Natasha leads us to an old mossy 1 story building with barely any windows. When we walk in through the broken door there's a couple of weave machines and broken furniture.

****

“you've been  _ living  _ here?” Rhodey says as he looks around with a scrunched up nose. 

****

“yep” She leads us into a small bathroom with a yellowing toilet and mirror so grubby you can't see your reflection in it. The only clean thing is the flush handle, which Natasha pulls. Instead of hearing a flushing sound we watch the right wall dislodge, inch backward, and slide open to reveal stairs to a sublevel. 

****

“oh I love a good secret door” Tony clasps his hands and grins excitedly. Funny that it's a secret door of all things that lifts his spirits in a dire situation.

****

“this is a Shield hideout, long forgotten though. I found it on the database” Natasha explains, smiling at Tony's reaction.

****

“Follow me” Bucky murmurs, pushing past all of us and heading down the dark stairway. When we get to the bottom of the stairs automatic lights burst on. They're sharp white and reveal a vast space with nothing but two discoloured navy couches and a small box tv. 

****

“Cosy” Tony comments, taking black rimmed aviators out of his pocket and slipping them on. Things flash up faintly on the lenses. 

****

“trust me I miss the compound” Natasha retorts. 

****

“this place has three floors?” Tony asks, seeming to fixate on something in the distance. 

****

“Yea” Natasha confirms.

****

“cool I'm reading three IR signatures on the bottom floor” 

****

Barns leans close to Natasha to murmur, “we should have called him ages ago” He leads us down more stairs and it's a welcome change from elevators, I've ridden them too much in the past 2 months.

****

“wait you said 3. Assuming Steve is here that makes 2 with Sam” Natasha says form in front of me. 

****

“meaning we'll have a pleasant or unpleasant encounter” Tony's second in line so he has to turn his head to address her. He doesn't seem very bothered about this third presence, probably because he's Iron Man.

****

“it'll be the latter trusting our luck” Rhodey grumbles from behind me. 

****

After four flights we run out of stairs and walk into what's essentially an empty car Park. We all let our guards down but Tony activates his suit. It's the first time I've seen him do it up close and it's outstanding the way it grows around him like he's sinking into a pool of metal. He smoothly takes off his glasses just in time for the helmet to close around his head. Everyone looks as impressed as I feel.

****

Tony makes a gesture for us to follow him as he snakes to the east wall and runs along it. None of us make a sound, following his lead. When we're near the end of the lot he stops and presses his ear to the wall, or where his ear would be if he wasn't suited up. Again, we follow suit. 

****

Tony waves a hand at us and we all back away from the wall. I assume he's going to blow it up but instead he feels around until an A5 sized panel in a seemingly smooth grey wall dips under his metal fingers. He slides the panel to reveal a pin pad. Before I can even think that things will be complicated now, the same pop up from Tony's hand that he used to scan the Skrull scans the pad. The suit must tell him the code because he puts it in correctly according to the green flash. 

****

All of us naturally take a V formation on either side of Tony; Barnes and I on his left and the other two on his right as the door slowly slides open. By the time it is I've transformed into my robes and collected the cloak and the other three pull out hand guns. I feel alienated at first but forget everything at the sight of Steve Rogers and another guy sat in the corner of the small secret room. They're both cuffed, the guy with normal handcuffs and Rogers with what looks like a stop sign pole bent around his wrists. The stranger looks like he's been freshly captured but Rogers’ grey t shirt is discoloured with most likely sweat, he has a wild head of hair and unkempt beard, and caves under his eyes. There's also a Skrull standing there holding a bag of hot Cheetos, one of them hovering between the bag and it's mouth as it watches us in shock. After a few seconds of the prisoners staring at us in happy surprise and us reading the situation the Skrull tosses the Cheeto in its mouth, licks the dust off it's green fingers and then casually reaches into its pocket and points a gun at Steve. 

****

“move and he dies” The Skrull states. They're very nonchalant creatures. 

****

“and I'm irrelevant?” The guy with sat next to Steve looks actually offended the firearm isn't pointed at him. 

****

“shut up Sam” Barnes says, his gun fixed on the Skrull, as everyone else's is. 

****

“keep still” I hiss to everyone, so I can make one brisk rotation with my hand and open a portal right at the Skrulls wrist without interruption. The cheetos hit the floor and scatter everywhere as the Skrull screams and grips it's stump of a wrist, it's hand and weapon gone forever. Before it can recover I rush for it, block a left hook with a quick round shield enchantment, use the same shield to bash against its jaw, then move it our the way to kick it square in the chest. I turn my shield into broadsword, swipe it once across the chest then plunge the blade through it's shoulder and the wall. It won't be going anywhere any time soon. 

****

“that was hot” Tony whispers to me as he walks passed, crouching by Sam and cutting the cuffs with a laser that shoots out his wrist. I try not to smile but it’s no use. 

****

When he moves on to Steve's cuffs the man has something to say, “Tony it's good to see you”

****

Tony doesn't say anything back and I wonder what face he's making under the helmet; is he angry, sad, plagued by terrible memories? “everyone's coming back to the compound. Including hot Cheeto over there. It's not safe here” Tony orders. Natasha helps Steve up, who seems unsteady on his feet and Barnes throws the Skrull over his shoulder after I pull my sword out of it. The wall’s stained with purple blood. 

****

None of us exchange words until Tony's flown the Quinjet into the sky and I decide to go up to the pilots seat to talk to him, “how are you?” 

****

“the day keeps getting worse and worse but every time I remind myself I woke up in bed with you I feel like I don't want to deep fry my own eyeballs” he smiles up at me as I chuckle. I wish all this hadn’t happened today and that Tony and I could still be in bed burning from each others heat. 

****

“what are you going to do about Steve?” I murmur, grabbing the back of his chair and leaning down to make the conversation feel more private and attempt to ignore the staring eyes. 

****

“not sure, give him some clothes, food and a shower then kick him to the curb” Tony shrugs, slightly turning the jet to the right. I didn't think I'd find him piloting a jet attractive but it really is. 

****

“you're so nice” I say sarcastically, but still kiss his temple because I like that answer. 

****

“showing affection in public are we?” he smirks up at me. 

****

“is that okay?” I start to feel bad. We haven't spoken about what we are and what boundaries we have. 

****

“of course. The only thing stopping me from having you right here after you smoked that Skrull is that I know Rhodey would jump out of the jet and end it all” I don't know whether to laugh or get aroused, my body does both in the end and I push aside the impulse to throw Tony on the control panel in front of us and have him myself. 

****

When we get back to the compound Tony sticks true to his word, sending Sam and Steve off to shower. When they come down to the common area they're wearing new clothes and the Chinese he ordered for us is ready on the coffee table. 

****

Bruce and Thor came down while the guys were cleaning up in the shower so the space around the table is awfully cramped. Steve, Sam, Barnes and Natasha sit squished together on the main couch facing the television, Bruce, Thor and Rhodey are on the one to its right and Tony and I occupy the one that reminds me of a therapist's chair, especially when Tony lies down on it as he opens his prawn chow mein box. I have to scoot forward to make space for him to stretch his legs and I figure he deserves it after everything he's been through. 

****

“what's gonna happen to the aliens?” Barnes asks, staring at his chopsticks like they're also alien.

****

“Shield is going to pick them up tonight” Tony says with a full mouth.

****

“you trust them with that?” I quickly come to the realisation that Steve Rogers voice is annoyingly righteous. 

****

“I'm working directly with Nick. He's good” that satisfies Steve. He drinks his third glass of water in one hit. 

****

“he also could be a Skrull right?” Banner asks as he grabs a piece of sweet and sour chicken with his chopsticks. We filled him and Thor in on everything while we waited for Steve and Sam.

****

“Skrulls don't have memories from long ago in the past. So I ask him questions pertaining to our interactions back in ‘08 or ‘10”

****

“ooh” Bruce nods in understanding. 

****

“what are we going to do about the rest of the Skrulls?” Sam asks.

****

“we'll take care of it. You illegal Avengers will stay locked down” Tony tells him. 

****

Bucky seems unbothered by it but Steve has something to say of course, “what? You need all the help you can get”

****

“I disagree. Stephen could smoke everyone in this room with one move” technically he's right. If I open a portal into the vacuum of space I could take everyone out in one swoop. It's a lot of power to carry on your shoulders.

****

“what if he gets knocked out. What do you do then?” 

****

“I could smoke  _ most  _ people in this room with one move” he retorts. The flat delivery really makes it land. Technically he's also right, if his suit has a wide enough beam or bomb in it he could blow us all to hell. Except Banner and Thor.  “especially a Skrull. They're just superior versions of Steve” the double insult is impressively smooth. 

****

“thanks” he deadpans, glumly eating his chicken chow mein. 

****

For the rest of the meal we share incredibly forced small talk and I have to explain who I am all over again. As soon as Tony's done eating he grabs my barely touched spring rolls and seaweed with one hand and my wrist with the other. “night everyone. Don't try anything funny, Fridays watching”

****

“Tony it's 6:30” Bruce tells him after looking at his wristwatch. 

****

“Yea and I didn't want a reunion” just like that Tony drags me along to the elevator and when the doors close my body feels so much warmer. 

****

“this is terrible” he sighs. 

****

“Yea everyone's so tense” 

****

“My fault”

****

“are you gonna talk things out?”

****

“Steve wants to talk but I told him I can't deal with that today. We can do it tomorrow” 

****

The elevator doors open and as we walk out I look at the bag in Tony's hand, “why did you bring my food?” 

****

“you didn't eat anything. And don't tell me it's because you're not hungry”

****

I take a moment to realise that as always her right. “what am I supposed to tell you?”

****

He lets us into his room and waits until I'm sitting on the edge of the bed to speak, "The truth”

****

I sigh, if I can open up to anyone it's Tony, “I don't like doing things that bring attention to my hands in front of other people” 

****

He sits at my side, knees bumping against mine, “Oh right. Is it because it was so many? You seemed fine with Joseph and I in Montreal” 

****

“It's who they are as well. I don't want the  _ Avengers _ to watch seaweed spill from my chopsticks” I feel silly saying it but I don't want to show my weakness to those that have none. 

****

“we're just people you know? You're stronger than all of us there's no need to worry” this time he supports me with a hand on my back. 

****

“it's not just about powers. You're all strong in personality or you look like Thor. I don't think I could be like one of you” My shoulders slump at the thought. They all share fond memories and skill that I don't know if I could have. 

****

“listen I'm the head of the Avengers and  _ I  _ don't feel like one of them. You don't have to be anything more than Stephen Strange” it's sad that he thinks that, even before I knew him if somebody mentioned Avenger he'd be the first image in my head.

****

“what if Stephen Strange isn't enough?” 

****

“No. He's everything” Tony says softly.

****

I smile, “you're only saying that because you like me” 

****

“Yes but I'm also always right” he sing songs, bumping his nose on my cheek.

****

“you are” I admit, how could I not.

****

“I love it when you stroke my ego” he whispers against my jaw. I tingle in all the right places and more. 

****

“Just your ego?” I tease.

****

He snorts, “shut up” When he grabs my chin and pulls me to him I expect a kiss. Instead I get a spring roll lodged in my mouth, “eat”

****

I crunch on the roll while Tony scoots back on the bed to sit cross legged and grabs the gun he took from Natasha from the dresser. I watch him toss it from one hand to the other then start to take it apart. He releases the magazine into the bed, pulls back the top part of the gun, releases it, fiddles with something by the trigger and separates the grip and the top component. From it he dislodges three smaller components, including the barrel, and drops it all in front of him. He does it all so fast my jaw drops. 

****

“yep I've still got it” he nods to himself proudly. 

****

“you are… wow”

****

Tony laughs, picking the grip of the gun back up.

****

“no seriously, like today you've blown me away; first with how you took Natashas gun, then  _ actually  _ shot Barnes, and how you figured out where Steve was, and you can fly a  _ jet _ , and then the iron man suit was insane and you found Rogers and Sam in literally 2 minutes and now this” I realise I've gotten progressively more enthusiastic but Tony's had my jaw dropping since the first hello. 

****

“you know whenever I even glanced at a firearm Steve would give me a look of disappointment that would kill me inside, because he hates that I was an arms dealer. Then here you come telling me how cool it is that I know my way around one... Thank you for that” his smile shows me gratitude but his eyes show me sadness.

****

“you don't want to kill people Tony. That trust I have in you makes me see this as impressive over dangerous” I explain as he reassembles the gun, this time at a normal pace. Once I'm done speaking he stops and the sheets rustle as he gets on his knees and leans in. Finally we kiss and it feels like dipping into warm water. When the kiss breaks I open my eyes and see Tony's are still closed, and he smiles, as if savouring the moment

****

“let me show you something, if someone points a gun you you can do this and pull the barrel straight off” he shows me two small knobs on either side of the gun above the trigger and slides them both up simultaneously, then his palm closes around the top of the gun and he pulls it straight off like the lid of a pen. “try it” 

****

He points the gun at me once he's fixed it and I do as instructed. It's clumsy thanks to my hands and lack of experience but after we do it about 11 times I have it down. 

****

“could save your life one day” Tony shrugs, putting it back on the dresser. For a couple minutes we sit with only the sound of crouching rolls and seaweed. When I'm done I put the boxes back in the plastic bag and rest it on the floor. 

****

“Can I hold it?” he asks, gesturing at my lap.

****

I know he's talking about my hand but I can't help myself, “My dick? Please, go ahead” 

****

He shakes his head but the faint smile doesn't lie. "I hate you” 

****

I laugh and offer my hand to him, “go ahead” 

****

Everything goes away as he brushes his calloused fingers over my palm, then closes his hand around mine. We look into eachothers eyes and I'm torn between looking away and staying like this forever. It's so intimate to trust someone with my weakness yet I want Tony to have all of me.

****

He breaks our contact to look down at our hands together, mine is paler than his and he has thicker fingers than I do yet they compliment each other. “You're hands are nice”

****

I frown, “What makes a hand nice?”

****

He turns our hands so my scar streaked palms facing up, “Um they're big, that's always good, and there's something really... classy about them”

****

A laugh bursts out of me, “Classy? Tony you crack me up”

****

“I’m glad, I like you laughing” that has my amusement dialling down to a fond smile. It’s the little things really. 

****

“I wish I was funnier, your laugh is great” I tell him. “specifically the one where it starts off sounding like when your repulsor beam charges” I chuckle to myself at the thought. Like many things about him I’ve memorised the ways he laughs, most often holding his forehead and showing his impressively uniform teeth. His open smile is probably the best thing I’ve ever seen.  

****

“Oh god it sounds like that?” He covers his face with both hands and shrinks in on himself. I cant help but be amused at the reaction even though my hand misses his. 

****

“Well I love it” I argue, pulling his hands from his face and dipping down to meet our lips. All the humour dies out and slowly I edge Tony back until he’s lying in a black pool of fabric and lose track of myself in our slow kisses. Our hands meet one another again and we do no more than make out through the night. We don't let go until we fall asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm editing this chapter, drinking jasmine green tea with lemon out of a Starbucks cup and listening to RDJ's album. Life couldn't be better.


	9. Masters Of Evil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve tries to reconcile with Tony, Peter plays baseball with a powerful beast and Natasha takes the fall for all the things they didn't do.

The next morning Tony thinks it’s funny to lend me a white t-shirt with a cat on it when I come out of the shower. “Why do you own this?” it's also too small, showing a slip of skin over the waist of my jeans. 

 

“I like cats” He shrugs. Unlike me he’s wearing a perfectly acceptable black Henley that tortures me with a peek of his collarbones. He’s trying not to laugh at this awful hand he’s dealt me. 

 

Before we go down to breakfast I snatch a black hoodie hanging off the back of a chair by his window and slip it on, zipping up until you can only see the peaks of the cats ears. It has the Avengers A on the breast in white. We walk passed all the bedrooms and it’s strange to know that the guy that killed Tony’s parents is staying in one of them, and Captain America in another, the man who left him behind in the worst way. I wonder how Tony even slept through the night.

 

This time Tony pulls ingredients from the fridge and I watch him fry omelettes with precisely cut baby tomatoes and mushroom in them. In a weird way it was a tomato that got me here, if I hadn't cut my finger maybe I wouldn't have gone off about science and money and maybe Christine wouldn't have thought to call Rhodey. It’s stupid but I make sure to savour the tomato the most as I dig into the omelette Tony’s served me. “This is good” 

 

“The only thing I know how to cook” He says proudly, leaning in front of the sink and cutting at his with the side of a fork.

 

“Do you like eating standing up?” He’s in the exact same spot as he was yesterday when he has four empty stools available to him. 

 

“I don't mind it. It’s kind of a habit, I like to be ready if anything happens”

 

“What’s gonna happen during breakfast?”

 

He swallows what he was chewing, “One time a murder bot crashed my party and this other time a missile flew straight through the window of my house. Trust me when I tell you anything can happen at any time” 

 

It must be hard to let go in life, being like that. I can't criticize really, I’m the same. 

 

“Have I missed your famous omelette?” I turn in my stool at the new voice and watch Steve emerge from the elevator and approach us. He’s trimmed his beard and looks a lot less tired but his face still annoys me. 

 

Tony doesn't say anything back, just sips coffee from his dad mug and watches him take a seat next to me with slightly narrowed eyes. I’m personally very tempted to ask him what makes him think he can sit there.

 

“Could we talk now?” He asks after a couple very tense seconds of silence.

 

“Sure” At Tony’s approval Steve looks at me. He’s asking for privacy, I can tell, but I also don't intend to go anywhere unless Tony asks me to. So I stare right back at him.

 

“Don't feel bad. Stephen already knows you’re an awful person” he says, noticing what our stare off represents. Steve forgets me to look at Tony like he kicked him.

 

“What I did was terrible, you're right, I agree. I'm so sorry Tony” He really looks like he means it but Tony’s face contorts in disgust;

 

“Steve I was your goddamn  _ boyfriend _ . You told me you loved me and I slept in your arms and the whole time you knew  _ exactly  _ what happened to my parents. I don't owe you forgiveness” I feel like a fish out of water at Tony’s direct jump to the hard hitting reality. His statement makes me forget any sincerity I thought Steve had, because in the end that's the truth, Tony gave an intimate part of himself to someone that was lying to him. 

 

“I know I just… It was so long ago and I was scared that you’d hunt Buck” Steve leans on the counter and it looks like all that his eyes are registering is Tony. 

 

The mug in Tony’s grip starts to tremble slightly, “So  _ long  _ ago? It’s been following me since it happened, I have nightmares, for years I tried to figure out what really happened. I lost my  _ mother _ ” A solemn silence stretches and I see a devastation in Tony’s eyes I’ve never seen before at the mention of his mother. 

 

“I didn't want to loose my friend” Steve looks at Tony pleadingly like he’s trying to make him understand when it’s him that doesn't understand. 

 

“Do you really think I would  _ kill  _ someone?” Tony slams his mug on the stretch of counter on his right and I’m surprised it doesn't smash on impact. 

 

“Well-”

 

“You never trusted me Steve, even while you had my whole heart in your hands. Now I’ll never trust you. That's it”

 

I picture Steve ripping Tony’s heart out and feel sick again.

 

“Alright, alright. But we’re going to have to work together” he clasps his hands together. I’m so tired of him already. 

 

“We don't have to. I don’t need you. I’m just putting up with you to protect you and make up numbers”

 

“I don’t need protection” He retorts. 

 

Tony snorts, “I’m sorry was it me who got replaced by a Skrull?”

 

“It could happen to any of us, we’re protecting each other” there’s a firm edge to Steve's voice now. 

 

“Hm I don’t know If I want a guy who thinks lying is protection to protect us all”

 

“Could you be professional for just  _ one  _ second?” He snaps. And the picture finally feels fully painted, Steve doesn't treasure or respect Tony like a lover should, he tries to step on him. 

 

Tony leans on the counter too and gets real close into Steve’s space with a cold stare in his eyes, “Could you s-”

 

“Hey guys!” 

 

Tony looks up and over Steve's shoulder at Peter and his whole body switches from wanting to punch Steve in the teeth to a bright sun in a cloudless sky, “how are ya kid?” He pretty much forgets both of us to meet Peter halfway and ruffle his hair. The kids holding a notebook and he shows it to Tony who has a look and tells him they can try it in the lab later. Peters clearly very excited.

 

“Now  _ that’s  _ love” I say, a smile on my face as I watch them interact. It’s not even to rub anything in Steve's face, It’s just true. 

 

I see in my peripheral he's eyeing me up and down, “Stephen Strange right? You don’t like me do you?”

 

“No”

 

Tony and Peter come over to the kitchen and at the sight of Steve he's stunned. He looks to Tony and he just smiles back. Maybe it was a search for approval to talk to Tony's enemy so to speak. 

 

“Hi Mr Rogers” he doesn't really look at him, just offers a half assed wave. Steve deflates even more. 

 

“OJ?” Tony offers, opening the fridge door for Peter as he reads whatever the boys written in his notebook, seeming very interested. Peter takes out one of the many small bottles of orange juice in the fridge and drinks half of it in one hit. “So what do you suggest we use to protect the eggs?” I blink at the question. I thought Peters work would be equations, it's another question why eggs are involved. 

 

As Tony and Peter throw materials back and forth Steve turns to me again, “I'm guessing you're the new boyfriend”

 

I'm not sure what to answer, “I… no. I don't know” I feel a loss of confidence at my uncertainty, I don't know where we stand, I don't have any status here.  

 

“you can tell me if you're just sleeping together” He says. Then my uncertainty turns to anger less because of what he says but how he says it, like he's trying to take me down to nothing, to just Tony's boy toy. 

 

Tony speaks before I do, “Steve you don't know when to shut up do you?” he looks pissed too. 

 

“that's fresh coming from you” He replies. 

 

“we are not  _ just _ sleeping together. The thing is the last person I called boyfriend was named mistakenly. I don't want to give the label away so fast” he breaks his angry look at Steve to give me an apologetic one. I don't mind, the only thing important of me is that I'm not just here for sex. 

 

Peter slides his notebook out if Tony's hand without him even noticing and retreats to the couch area with a spooked look on his face.

 

“we were good together before everything”

 

“Yea we were. But you ruined it and I'm glad you did, I like Stephen more” he smirks my way. I'm reminded what my status is now, I'm here because Tony wants me to be and I'm happy with that. 

 

“um guys, you should see this” Peter calls. He's watching the tv.

 

We make it over there to see a red breaking news banner and I recognise the image straight away. Bleeker Street. Without saying anything to anyone I step back into a portal and a quiet room with pale lighting turns to a street with smoking cars and fires. People scream as they run past me and I hear sirens in the distance. 

 

There's a flying horse in the air and a man mounted upon it. Black Knight. We've fought before, it looks like he's back for revenge. My first move is to barge through the sanctum doors, in hopes Wong might be there. I run straight into my cloak. It settles on my shoulders and before I can call for Wong or change into my robes it aggressively drags me out of the sanctum and down a side road. Wong's there, leaning on the glass of an empty café holding his stomach. My heart stops for a moment but when I get closer is see there's no blood, but his robes are black in the area and smoke radiates off them. It must have been the Knights energy beam. 

 

“where have you been?” he asks quietly, but there's burning disdain in his voice. 

 

“I'm sorry” I’m starting to realise I got caught up in Tony, and his world, and I forgot what my true purpose really is, the sanctum.  

 

“You better fix this” 

 

He doesn't need to say it twice, I spin around and launch into the air, my robes forming around me as I do. I land on the roof of a corner supermarket to get a good look at Black Knight. He's got his usual gold lance and a weird looking gun strapped to the belt of his black armour. He hasn't noticed me to I make a starting run, planning to leap off the building and toss him off his horse but as soon as I'm ready for take off something grabs my cloak and pulls us both back and roughly onto the floor. I look up to see Bloodaxes’ ugly red skull face.

 

“he didn't come alone” he growls, the Executioners double bladed axe catches a gleam from the sun. 

 

I'm about to say goodbye to my head when Spiderman fly kicks him square in the chest and sends him hurtling off the opposite edge of the roof with a gargling yell. 

 

“how'd you get here?” I'm shocked at how strong he is to send a beast as big and heavy as Bloodaxe flying like a paper ball. 

 

“you left your portal open. Are you alright?” He crouches next to me. And definitely sounds like Peter.

 

“bright as rain” I wince as I sit up, holding my the sore spot on the back on my head. “don't let him shoot you with anything and don't let his axe touch you” I tell the kid, pointing in each direction accordingly. 

 

“Stephen Strange” we turn to Black Knight at his echoing voice, “finally I've found you. Enjoy your last moments of life” he dramatically points his lance at me and I manage to grab Peter and roll us both out of the way of a heat beam that melts the concrete of the roof where we were standing. This isn't good.

 

Peter shoots webs at the Knight, sticking him and his horse to the opposite building and I jump in with a mystic beam spell. It starts to burn his armour as he struggles to break free but doesn't penetrate before the roof under our feet collapses. We fall into a cloud of dust and I cough It out of my airways as Peter drags me away from the fallen concrete. At the clearing of the dust I see we’re in the middle of the little supermarket and Bloodaxe stands above us once more. He lifts his axe over his head and I manage to cast a shield just as he brings it down. It starts to crack my spell on impact and to my shock it shatters a moment later, the force from the breakage sends us both hurtling into a shelf and cans fall over us. A couple hit my head and boy they are brutal. 

 

Bloodaxe rushes for a second attack but Peter grabs a can of sweet corn and launches it at his face so hard it splits the can open. His move gives us time to scramble up and toward the exit but before I can reach the doors Peter grabs my arm and yanks me to the side. A second later the axe spins through the air and breaks the glass of the door as it flies through it. My head was there. 

 

Luckily our opponent no longer has his weapon but he's still super strong with impenetrable skin.

 

Peter picks up an entire snack shelf and everything spills out of it when he smacks Bloodaxe with it like it's a bat and he's a ball. Again he flies back through the glass wall with the same inhuman scream. I look at Peter in utter shock. He's already opened a family bag of lays and lifts his mask to his nose so he can shovel them in his mouth. How can he, a kid who eats crisps in the middle of a life or death battle, be so powerful? 

 

Peter and I finally get outside. Bucky and Natasha are across the street guiding civilians to safety. And the axe is lying in the middle of the road.

 

“cool!” Peter runs up to it and I have to stop him with a magic lasso so he doesn't touch it. Lays spill out of their bag at the abrupt stop. 

 

“it'll turn you into an evil monster. You don't want that” I tell him, opening a portal under it to transport it into the relics room at the sanctum. We can deal with it after this chaos.  

 

At the sound of a battle cry I look above me to see Black Knight charging at us with his lance at the ready. Before I can cast a shield Tony flies in and protects us with his own one. It deflects the onslaught of energy beams and once the Knight is close enough Tony uses the shield to slam him in the face and knock him right off his horse. 

 

Tony then lands on the ground and strides for the Knight, shooting his own energy beams at him. They do nothing to penetrate the armour so when Knight gets on his knees from the floor Tony goes for his massive mallet and swings it at Knights head, causing him to fall again. Tony doesn't notice he's grabbed his lance and in the blink of an eye he knocks it against Tony's ankle. The Iron Man armour shakes like he's been tazed and then it's Tony falling to his knees. 

 

Something snaps in me and I sprint for him, grabbing the chin of his black face plate and flying the fastest the cloak can go all whilst dragging his body against the road. Eventually I reach a wall and slam him against it so hard it cracks and caves. A fire burns within me as I cast a huge portal in the sky. Vicious winds flow thought it and rain showers on us. From the portal I summon lightning strikes and back away from him before letting them zap him to high hell. I doesn't have much effect on the armour but the man inside it screams unrelentingly.

 

I look behind me to find Tony in the distance but instead there's a horse right in my face. Its nose connects with my stomach and it charges me into the neighbouring building. I lose control over the portal, it shrinks away and the lightning is gone. Most noticeably I feel all of Tony's delicious omelette coming back up.

 

I take a minute to collapse to my knees and throw up.

 

“Was the omelette that bad?” 

 

I look up at Tony and wish it was anybody else. I don't want him to see me sitting next to my sick feeling nauseous and weak. “are you okay?” I ask him frailly, pushing wet hair out of my eyes.

 

“Yea I have measures to counter shock built in. Let's talk about you though, you just pulled a Thor” 

 

“just using the weather from another reality” I breathe, resting my head against the wall behind me. 

 

“What's this punk from the Masters of Evil doing here?” I want to ask how he knows but he's said it before; he knows everything. 

 

“I beat him up real bad when we first fought. He's probably pissed” I explain as I take the hand Tony offers me and he hauls me up.

 

“did you manage to get a perimeter?” 

 

“I think so. Rhodey and Nat are looking for any strays right now” as he says this I spot Rhodes grey form overhead and also Natasha who's standing on top of the sanctum on the lookout. 

 

It's just then that the Knight comes out of nowhere and his horse shoves her off the edge. I watch in stunned horror as she falls, manages to grab onto a balcony railing, but only for a second as her hand slips and she falls straight onto the roof of a car. Tony left as soon as she started falling, his turbo thrusters almost blowing me back, but he only makes it a second after she hits the car. I teleport to them.

 

She’s bleeding from her head, the liquid staining her roots red and her forehead a little. Other than that and a little blood from her nose she looks fine, just out cold. I hope her spine didn't take any damage, that's the next concern after survival. 

 

Tony's eyes are glassy and his mouth twists ever so slightly but it's enough to immensely project the feeling of getting stabbed in the heart. “I'll watch her,” he starts, knowing moving her is not a good idea, “you get rid of him” He says it so decisively I know I can't let him down. So I fly to the roof of the sanctum to meet Black Knight, we stand at opposite edges of the plane and nothing but the wind is with us. It feels like a wild west face off at the sound of my cloak ripping in the wind and the tail of his asshole horse softly flowing.

 

“your move Doctor” he says, like he doesn't believe I could defeat him. 

 

“My move indeed” I kneel, holding three fingers up, the two middle ones down and face my hand to the floor. Then with my other hand I draw a W on the floor, dotting each end. The beauty of the spell is how subtle it is. Nothing happens for a few seconds so Black Knight starts to chuckle but then the ground underneath him glows orange and the whole sanctum shakes like it's under an earthquake. My power drains from me at the casting of such a huge spell but when a gigantic reptilian mouth with razor teeth emerges from underneath him and swallows him down screaming it puts a smile on my face. Once one is eaten by the dimensional beast it can never escape, condemned to live in a hot, slimy, stenching stomach for eternity. 

 

It's over. I can sit on the floor and know that now that the Knight is gone and Bloodaxe loses his abilities without his axe that it's all over. 

 

Soon Rhodey lands on the roof and helps me get my exhausted body off the floor and away from it all. 

 

About an hour later we're all in a crowded medical room at the compound. The room itself is quite big but there's so many people; Natasha lies still unconscious in the bed at the centre of the room, her life force beeping away on a heart monitor and an IV in her arm, Tony and Bruce stand to the left of her, Barnes and Steve on the right. Wong's sitting in the corner with an ice pack on his stomach, he was given the standard grey Avengers t shirt and looks bizarre in it since I've never seen him out of robes. Peters sitting cross legged next to me, his mask resting on his knee. Rhodey's outside the open door talking on the phone about clean up. And I'm sitting in a chair against the wall, struggling to stay awake when my body is begging me for rest to replenish my drained power. My extremities feel numb and occasionally my eyes shut without knowing or permission. 

 

“this is my fault” Tony grunts, crossing his metal arms and letting his head drop like a deadweight. 

 

“no it wasn't” to my pleasant surprise it's Bucky who says this, and not in any nefarious way, he states it as fact. Because it is. 

 

“if I got there one second earlier she wouldn't be here” I can see in Tony's face that he's beating himself into the ground with guilt. That knife that stabbed him in the heart still aches. 

 

By that logic technically it's down to me. If I hadn't frozen I could have teleported and I would have made it on time. I'm too tired to argue the point though. 

 

“regardless, I was there, you're not the one who pushed her” Bucky insists, standing firm with his contrasting metal and flesh arms crossed. I can see myself tolerating him for the first time.

 

Again the room falls to nothing but steady beeping and Rhodes’ voice in the distance. I only have time to look at Steve in a scuffed Captain America suit and wonder where he was during the fight before the quiet pulls me sleep. 

 

Everything's bouncing, and it wakes me to white light and a corridor. There's also a blue light practically blinding me. I'm moving yet I'm not walking. I smell metal. Promptly I put together that Tony's carrying me bridal style past the blurred glass doors of the dorms, still wearing nanotech up to his neck. 

 

“should I be embarrassed?” I murmur, feeling a wisp of my hair catch in my lashes. 

 

“that I'm carrying you like you're my wife? Not at all” he walks us into his room and sits me on the edge of the bed. I almost groan at having to sit up when I just want  _ sleep _ . Tony pulls back the covers then comes back to me, removing the hoodie from my body and pulling off my shoes then jeans, leaving me sporting a ginger cat and white boxers. He manages to tuck me in and once he's satisfied and I'm warm he sits by my legs on the bed. 

 

Once he's sat there quietly for a while with his elbows on his knees and the look of a haunted man in his eyes and I'm convinced I'll be dead to the world at any second I speak, “She's a tough one. Don't worry too much” I offer my hand to him, he taps his chest to retract his suit and takes hold of it.

 

“I know” He smiles and it's all fake.

 

Sleep takes me before I can tell him so.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick question, what are your thoughts on 1st person? I know third is the more popular choice but I wanted to go back to my rutes for this one. Was that a good call?


	10. Divided we Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephens fairy-tale shatters. But maybe it needs to end for a new one to find a beginning.

In the morning I wake and for the first time the hot skin and perfect goatee of Tony Stark don't exist under my fingers or in my sight. But I know exactly where he is.

 

My first move is to shower away all signs of battle from my body. As water sticks my hair down and races down my back I look at the scars on my hands and think of Tony. Scars can never be washed away, they're what we take away from a battle forever. Tony's been fighting much longer than I have and has many more scars that'll follow him even down the most peaceful of paths. I have no idea what he's hiding under his vests but I know it must be that, a map of scars he doesn't want anyone to ever see. When he showers maybe he watches the water run over them and hopes that for once it'll make them go away. Sometimes I wish that. But both of us will step out and towel dry to realise our scars won't change, and there's no going back. 

 

Tony has a small closet here but my raid produces some decent stuff, like a deep blue t shirt with a white iron man graphic on it. It's printed to resemble a blueprint and it even has little annotations by parts, rendered illegible by cracking of the print. 

 

I can't deal with wearing the same pair of jeans for a third day so I open a portal to my own equally as small wardrobe and produce black sweats and white socks. 

 

When I get to the med room I find Tony there, as I knew I would. 

 

Barnes is also in the room, standing on the other side of Natasha's bed. It seems finally he's decided his hair is a hindrance and tied it back into a messy bun. A quick glance at her vitals machine tells me she's very stable and there's nothing to worry about in terms of her waking up.

 

“hey Steph good morning. Sorry I wasn't there, woke up early to see Natasha's X-ray results” he smiles placidly. He doesn't seem to be faking it this time but his eyes still look sad. 

 

“how did they look?” I sit in the same chair I occupied yesterday. 

 

“her shoulders busted. It dislocated when she grabbed onto the balcony and then she hit the car the bone cracked a little. Time should recover it though”

 

“her spines fine?” I assume he would have told me if it wasn't but I have to make sure, spine injury is one of the most serious types. 

 

“Yes thank God” Tony breathes. Thank god indeed. 

 

We all then watch Natasha quietly, as if by force of will we might wake her up. Tony and Buck continue with it but I switch to look at all of us. Tony's in a white fitted t-shirt and grey sweats and Buckys in a black tank top and black sweats. Apart from being well coordinated it interests me that the way we look isn't the way people think we look. When one imagines the mighty Avengers they picture suits and weapons and all things cutting edge but really they're a bunch of people in sweats, or to better phrase it, they're normal. 

 

Tony decides to break the stretching silence. “hey here's a thought, let's say outrageous things and see what's stupid enough to wake Nat up. Loser buys dinner. You in Stephen?”

 

“I'll watch” things change so fast, two days ago Tony wanted to kill that man, now they almost seem like friends. Almost.

 

“I'll start. Hey Nat I used your straighteners to check the temperature of my soup” Tony says, very creatively. 

 

“I put on your suit at 3AM and sang Don't Cha in the mirror” somehow I can picture Bucky doing that.

 

“I accidentally put my toothbrush in the toaster” I can also picture Tony doing that.

 

“I shot a hole through my ear because I'm scared of needles”

 

“Shrek bit my finger”

 

“I cook bacon in socks”

 

“I snort skittles”

 

“I'm sexually attracted to ramen noodles” I find I really don't want to picture Barnes doing that.

 

Tony snorts, “Justin Hammer is a great engineer” I'm not sure why that's funny but Tony looks very amused. 

 

“I stuck my arm in a plug socket”

 

Tony doesn't fire back this time, instead be stares at Bucky as his face starts to turn pink. Then he lets out this state of the art burst of laughter, holding his stomach and eventually collapsing at how hard he's laughing. Bucky looks confused out of his mind but I smile. This is how Tony should be, not guilt ridden or in pain, laughing through life. 

 

Once he's calmed down he scoots back to rest his back against the wall and sits with his limbs splayed, like a soft doll placed on a shelf by a young child who loves it very much. 

 

I realise I can't be here forever, as much as I might want to. “I have to go. I've spent too much time away from my duties”

 

“Yea I guess you're right,” Tony gestures for me to come to him and I do, squatting at his side. He stretches up to kiss me softly. “I'll call you” 

 

That's the last thing he says to me for a while, because days pass and I hear nothing.

 

I've spent these days trying to find a balance of my time. I've settled for spending one day at the sanctum and another at work. Both feel strange to me now. The sanctum is even more monotonous than it was before, now that I've lived the excitement of Tony's life; Avengers conflict, or fun, such a large group, and missions. And work is like being new all over again, I come in and the earpieces are done. The department's started to work some kind of cerebral reprogramming technique that I know nothing about and when I walk into my office there's a pile of folders and papers so tall some of them have spilled onto the floor. 

 

The second day of not hearing from Tony consisted of me spending 6 hours getting through all the content with my phone on the desk, the black screen waiting to be interrupted by a call, or even a text. Nothing came.

 

By the fourth day I'm in a meeting explaining what we need to do to develop this technique, it's easier than the earpieces, because I know this project is an attempt to counter Skrulls shapeshifting ability disguised as helping people with mental ailments.  Through my whole speech my phone doesn't buzz for a second, but it feels so heavy in my pocket. 

 

On fifth day I can't stop being doubtful. I'm supposed to be meditating but thoughts consume me; I start to wonder how much Tony really likes me, or if he just likes me around. While I understand he's worried about Natasha has he even thought about me? 

 

I must be forgotten, Tony must have cruelly given me a taste of glory then chewed me up and spat me out. Maybe now when I see him at work he'll walk straight past with only a professional hello.

 

My heart starts to ache. 

 

Then it tries to burst out of my chest because my phone chimes. I hurtle to my desk and fumble to unlock it, ignoring how pathetic I am. 

 

_ Nat woke up this morning. Thought you should know _

 

I frown at the text. It isn't right, because it's 6 in the evening, meaning it took him at least 6 hours to think of me, and because it's the only text he sends. Even after I wait 5 minutes nothing else comes. I expected a how are you, or maybe something about meeting up. 

 

But, on the bright side, he did text me, and maybe it's an invitation to come over, say hi to Natasha and spend the night with him. I need to listen to the Ancient One inside me, she probably represents the truths of life, and she told me not to think solo anymore. I don't think too much on it and portal to the compound lobby. When in the elevator I tap my foot restlessly and as soon as it opens I stride out in a flare of robe and cloak. 

 

What I see freezes me in place. Tony's asleep on the sofa, his arm stretched over the back of it, but that's not what gets me, it's that Natashas cuddled up at his side, fast asleep too, her head resting on Tony's shoulder and the arm that isn't in a sling loosely draped over his stomach, hitching up his cream Henley slightly. Then there's Peter, whose sat next to her with his feet up, watching Kim Possible do flips in a cheerleader outfit on tv as he works through a tube of tortilla Pringles. His socks are bright blue with red Spiderman faces on them. 

 

He notices me and stops chewing to stare. I stare back and I hate it; I hate that they look like a family, I hate that Tony and Natasha look like lovers, like the perfect couple and the best parents. And they're not even trying. I hate that I'm here and they're together. I want it to be her that walks in and looks at Tony and I cuddled together and thinks that we look like the perfect family. I don't want this. 

 

I have to accept that for Tony I'm not the one. And I do so as I retreat into a portal without a word to Peter. 

 

* * *

 

 

Ironically the next 5 days are the opposite of the first. I know exactly what's going on at work, on my off days I busy myself with interdimensional peacekeeping and Tony won't stop trying to get my attention. First I dismiss texts asking about signing the accords or hanging out, then I ignore calls about why I'm not answering my texts. Until day four, when Tony walks into my office at work.

 

“you know you're supposed to knock” I tell him while typing out an email.

 

“What's going on Stephen?”

 

The problem is of course that I’ve felt things for Tony I haven't ever felt and from that moment Rhodey helped us realise our feelings I've been living a fantasy. But this week's shown me that fantasies don't last and I'm not as special to Tony as he is to me. So I need to stay away, before it's too late and I become an item that Tony only wants sometimes but who will always be there because he has me on his leash. I've had enough pain in this life.

 

“I'm very busy” I start to type louder to give him the message. 

 

“too busy to even reply to your texts?”

 

“Yea, listen I have a lot of emails to write” finally I look up from my keyboard to Tony, clad in all black with his arms crossed and a frustrated arch in his brows.

 

“I'm not leaving” he says firmly. 

 

“I may work for you but I’m still allowed to have a will of my own, and I will for you to leave” I say back, looking him in the eye unrelentingly. There's hurt on his eyes, and it burns my heart like a fire, but it's for the best.

 

When Tony leaves I realise the Ancient One said I needed a team, but she never said a team needed me.

 

The next two days are complete silence. Tony doesn't call, text or show up. It was my aim, to push him away, but it's caused me a collapsing pit of of loneliness that even Wong can't fill anymore. I come into work and I try to chat, to ask Ema what she's done in the week or Joseph where his watch is from, but anytime they laugh it's not with Tony's wheeze and perfectly in line teeth, when they raise their brows it's not Tony's dark arched ones. They don't glow like Tony does.

 

To forget I work, I work and work, I write emails, read papers, write papers, proof papers, fill a whiteboard with shakily illegible workings and diagrams until there's no space for more. My watch reads midnight when I decide there's nothing left to do but go back to the sanctum, so I tidy the flurry of work in my office, grab my new black trench coat and put the room behind me.  

 

When I turn away from the door to leave I'm face to face with Peter. He makes me jump a little, he made not a footprint in the silence of the empty department. “what are you doing here Pete? It's late” the boy and I have only properly spoken at the karaoke night and the second time I saw him in the elevator but after we faced Bloodaxe and he saved me from losing my head I look at his face and see someone I can rely on. 

 

“um hi, I came to ask you for help” he's fidgety, shy and borderline nervous, like he expects rejection.

 

“with?” following my lead, we put my office behind us. The automatic lights shut off one by one, drowning the spaces behind us in darkness. 

 

“My homework”

 

It's easy to forget Peter is a school kid when he smacks villains in the face with supermarket shelving. “Your dad is pretty much the smartest person on earth, why come to me?” 

 

I notice my slip up but before I can correct it Peter replies, a small smile on his lips, “Mr Stark is in a meeting”

 

“at this time? No rest for the business tycoon I guess” some would argue the line between business tycoon and wicked doesn't exist, but knowing Tony I can't stand behind that, unfortunately. 

 

We get into the elevator and Peter calls for the 93rd floor, the very top. It's one of the mysteries I still haven't uncovered about Tony, what's at the top of his mountain. It's likely to be the last of the things about him I'll have the pleasure to discover.

 

“What's the homework?” 

 

“biology; greenhouse gasses and their effects on the environment” be rattles off almost like he's rehearsed the phrase. 

 

“you realise I specialise in human biology?” I ask him, recognising that's not beyond my capabilities but I wouldn't be my first choice in the area. 

 

“Tony said you're really smart, surely that extends past human biology?” For the first time I see the man in him, the way the edge of his mouth quirks up because he knows he has me has Tony written all over it. I wonder if I could ever escape the constant reminders of Tony, they'd destroy me in my attempt to push them out. 

 

“so Spiderman huh?” I ask after a bout of silence, since we have many floors to kill. 

 

“only the Avengers know” he says it with a hint of not threat but warning. He isn't like Tony that way, he keeps his lives apart, half school kid who can't keep his bag on straight and half superpowered vigilante.

 

“got it. The Avengers, and me” I repeat back, swallowing the idea that I can't join them, I can't be in a team that's water when I'm oil. 

 

“you're an Avenger aren't you?” he frowns at me. 

 

“I haven't signed anything. And I don't think I can do it”

 

“you'll change your mind” That throws me, there's a confidence in how he says and what he says, like he knows that's truth when there are infinite futures and that is likely not to be one of them. 

 

The elevator doors open out to what can only be described as a high class living space, with black flooring, a low round table and cream chairs. Just like Tony's office the glass straight ahead gives us a window to an incredible view. There's soft music playing. 

 

When Peter gestures that I exit first I do so with a grateful nod, then I stop dead because what I didn't see is a dinner table set up to the far right. It looks like it was kidnapped straight from a restaurant, dressed with a white cloth and adorned with red candles and food. Behind the table paces Tony, lost in another world and biting his thumbnail. I hate that my first thought is how handsome he looks in that navy shirt unbuttoned enough to tease the edge of his reactor and sleeves rolled to his elbows and black fitted slacks. 

 

“thanks for the help!” I whip around to catch a glimpse of Peter grinning at me triumphantly, not holding a single tooth back, before the doors close and he's gone. Maybe I can't rely on him.

 

“you used the kid? Low blow” I glare at Tony. Peters words caused him to break out of his bubble and realise I'm here.

 

“no, smart move” Tony's inevitable compulsion to show intellect above all else could be seen as endearing. Now it irritates me.

 

“dinner isn't going to win me back” I tell him plainly, straightening my also new red tie then crossing my arms. 

 

“no but I am, because I need to” he starts toward me but stops a foot short, having seen something in my eyes to prevent him from entering my space. 

 

“are you saying you need me? I didn't see that when you went dark for a week” I spit back, angling away from him and toward the elevator, escape would be good. 

 

“I love Natasha very much and I don't care what anyone says, it was my fault. I had to make sure she recovered well, I couldn't leave her” his eyes plead for me to understand, and I do. I understand he's Atlas, cursed by his own self to carry the world on his shoulders, I understand he cares about Natasha, but he still leaves much to be desired. 

 

“you also couldn't so much as text?”

 

“I… I shrunk away. I was scared” as he says it he shrinks, his shoulders curling like wet paper.

 

“what of?” what could make Iron Man cower? 

 

“Natasha not making it. And when she did that she would never walk again. And when she walked that she would never speak to me again”

 

I frown, “that's irrational”

 

“when have you ever seen me rational?” the statement leaves me with no retort, which isn't common, but Tony isn't rational. It's his irrationality that makes him, from ill timed jokes to grabbing death by the balls. 

 

“Tony you said you'd call me and you didn't. The average person can get over that but we aren't average. With broken promises we lose trust” and that breaks me, because what makes Tony better is that he understands. 

 

“that's what I love about you Stephen! You're not average, you're brilliant and strong, and that's excluding the magic” he argues, skirting over the comment about trust, until he doesn't, “look, dinner without Giacometti, like I promised” he gestures at the candle lit table. It covers my frustration and takes me to a damp, cold place. 

 

I examine the table and wonder if he set it up himself, the poorly folded napkins point to yes. “I don't think I'm what you need”

 

Tony doesn't speak for a while, then, “how could you know that?”

 

The image of them watching Kim Possible flashes like a siren in my mind, “you need someone that can help you with Peter, someone who can love you like you deserve”

 

“you're saying you can't give me that?” at the sudden fragility in Tony's voice I look at him. It's just as strong in his eyes, like he's watching the New York skyline collapse.

 

“I always told Christine I don't die, it's not my style. And I'm sure you told Pepper the same thing, which is why I can tell you that I  _ will _ die, maybe even tomorrow, I'm always under threat, fighting things humans couldn't imagine, I'm not built to have people in my life” I confess, under all the layers of Tony's faults that's the core, that I'm not the one for him. It kills me.

 

“so you're going to be alone?”

 

“you don't need me, and I don't plan to change that, because you'll lose me” I look decisively in his big brown eyes but it just makes it all hurt more. 

 

“be my boyfriend” he blurts. 

 

My jaw drops a little. “What? Didn't you hear what I just told you?”

 

“loud and clear. Stephen it's too late, I already need you. Don't waste that by walking out on me”  I don't know how but the ball of ice clogged in my heart cracks from the core to the surface and the pieces melt into my blood. All because of that last sentence. All because of the soft assurance in it, Tony's full commitment to needing me. And who am I kidding? I couldn't go a day without him. So I grab him by the collar and pull him into a hard kiss. My hand shakes on the back of his head and I blink not to shed tears at the blissful release of tension I've been holding for weeks. 

 

“how did you do that?” I breathe. Peter really was right, I will change my mind. 

 

“I've learned that being open solves any problem. Which sucks, because it's hard” there he is again, chatty Tony. I've missed him while broken Tony's been in charge of this body. “let me take your coat hitman”

 

“hitman?” I ask him as he slides my coat off my shoulders.

 

“I really need to get you into video games” he tosses the coat over one of the low cream sofas and leads me to the table with the faintest touch on my back, like he's not sure he's allowed yet.

 

“you have time to play videogames?” he even pulls out my chair for me, I roll my eyes at him but hold back any complaint.

 

“Yea, I'm not a CEO anymore remember? I'm just a guy who thirsts for knowledge and babysits superheroes” He sits opposite. He looks so much lighter than he did when he was pacing earlier.

 

“no biggie” I joke. 

 

“right” He hits back. “what would you like to drink? Sparkling water or normal water?” it seems that to two people that don't drink wine glasses are just glasses. 

 

“sparkling please. This looks nice” I comment, looking down at the prawn linguine with parsley, olive oil and possibly paprika. It reminds me of Montreal. 

 

“made it myself, I'm very proud” he looks proud too. 

 

“Tony...” I quickly realised I would have regretted it deeply if I decided to walk out on this. On this man who made me a meal that was probably a real challenge for someone who only knows how to make omelette instead of the much easier option of buying me something grossly expensive and hollow in meaning. And when I try it tastes good.

 

“hey you never told me if you'd be my boyfriend” 

 

I put my fork down, “are you sure you're not acting on impulse? I know you said you don't just throw the title around”

 

“I'm not throwing it around, because it's you” he pierces me with his eyes and the wound in my chest seems to fill with warm honey.  

 

“you're so charming I hate you” I grumble.

 

“enough to not be my boyfriend?” he makes a show of crossing his fingers. I can't do that anymore. But the more important thing is do I officially want to be Tony's partner; in life, in crime, in good and bad, in bed and on the streets? The answers obvious to me. 

 

“...No” that's all it takes. I'm Tony Stark's boyfriend now. Of all the titles I've achieved this is the most unbelievable. 

 

“thank you” he says, genuinely, clearly exhaling. 

 

“thank you?” it seems like an odd thing to say.

 

“you'll come to realise soon that you're doing me a favour, not the other way around” he sips bubbling water out of his wine glass. I very much find that it's a staple among the rich, rich people got me into it and they all drink the stuff like it's regular water.

 

“no, not the case, because as much as I tried to push it down, I need you too” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it seems like Stephen got over it really fast but I was trying to show that it's not Tony or Natasha he's mad at, its born from his own insecurities. So Tony acknowledging to him that he is needed is kind of the key to make him feel like he belongs.


	11. Dark Paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony gets to be a woman for the day and Stephen gets something so so terrible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also Thor plays animal crossing.

When I walk into the compounds common area only Tony and Thor are present, Tony making coffee as is to be expected and Thor's playing on an old looking red Nintendo DS I've seen Peter with before with total focus in his features, he must be playing something complicated. It's not him I came to speak to though.  ****  
** **

 

“have you seen this?” I hold up the magazine Peter just gave me in a roll when Tony turns from the machine. 

****

“a magazine? I've heard of them” he smirks in satisfaction when I cut my eyes at him.

****

“look” I slap the painfully colourful thing on the counter and Tony peers at it, when he realises what he's looking at he picks it up to look more closely. 

****

“Oh it's us… god I look so short next to you” he says almost disgustedly. The magazine bears a photo of us on the front, clearly it was taken by a cell phone and zoomed because the quality is only good enough to recognise it's us and distinguish that Tony's talking, his hands open in the usual gesturing he performs, and I'm placidly listening with my hands in my pockets as we walk toward the entrance of the Tower. Tony's right, he does look noticeably short next to me. 

****

“you said that paparazzi only take interest when there's scandal, that they don't follow you around” I know as I say it that technically this doesn't break Tony's assurance, the picture wasn't a paparazzi, probably just someone who recognised him, and we were right outside the Tower he  _ owns _ , the prime spot for someone looking for Tony to find him. And this is the first time we've been photographed together in the three weeks we've been dating. 

****

“is this a problem? Because I can make it go away” He looks up from the magazine with that air of a powerful man, someone who really can make this go away with one command. It gives me chills. 

****

“I guess I'm worried that someone might take a closer look into me” 

****

“I covered that a while ago,” he tosses his Stark phone on the counter and double taps the screen with two fingers. It projects a hologram display. “Friday Google Stephen Strange” he commands, crossing his arms. Friday calls up results and on my Wikipedia page are all the public details about me up until the accident. It says that I retired due to my injuries and left it at that.

****

“What about authorities? The police or shield?”

****

“they get the same, just in fancier formatting. Except the heads at shield, Maria and Nick know a bit more about you. If that's okay?”

****

“if you trust them it is” 

****

“‘Tony Stark done with dating heroes’? Really? They should fact check”  he looks amused at the annoyingly bold bright yellow lettering under the picture. 

****

“I particularly like this one,” I point to a smaller heading reading; ‘Iron Man seen with tall mysterious man’.

****

“of course you do. Coffee?” he asks as he pours some in his own mug, the dad one of course.  

****

After I shake my head Tony leads the way to couches, lowering himself into the empty one with ease not to spill his precious caffeine. I sit next to him, shoulder to shoulder, knee to knee, because I can, and it's wonderful. 

****

Thor's looking at the DS with utmost confusion, like it grew tentacles. His hands are so big the console almost looks like a babies toy. 

****

“do you seek help adventurer?” Tony asks him in a narrator's voice, sipping black liquid. 

****

“yes, what is a mortgage?” that throws us both.

****

“What the hell are you playing?” Tony puts his mug on the table and leans to peer at Thor's screen. His whole face falls to an unimpressed deadpan. “seriously? Animal Crossing? You've been concentrating so hard you looked like you were trying to achieve telekinesis and you weren't even playing a sophisticated combat game, you're playing a life sim?” He drops back into his seat, slamming into me. 

****

“Peter said it's a straightforward way of learning how Midgardians live. Normal Midgardians I mean” he looks at us both, of course Tony's stupidly rich and I'm magic, we both don't live by the rules of life. 

****

“it's also not very accurate. Where's the capitalism? Why isn't the fish in the water dead? At least one of the neighbours should try to burn your house down. Also there's no tax or designer clothing!” interesting of him to group those last two things together. It's still funny that he takes so much offence to a game probably designed for kids. 

****

“what is capitalism? Why would the fish be dead? What is tax?” 

****

“let's see, capitalism is the reason why I'm rich, but also have no heart. The fish should be dead because humans are killing Midgard and you don't want to know what tax is, just be fortunate you don't have to pay it” of all the things he says it's the tax he shudders at, maybe if I made billions I would too, it was bad enough when I made millions. It's also rather funny that Tony thinks he has no heart, because all he has is heart.

****

“Midgard is dying? We must do something” Thor sits rod straight, shutting the DS with a soft click. 

****

“hm. Rebuilding Ultron would be the easiest way to fix that” Tony theorizes with a tap to the chin. He told me about Ultron only a couple of days ago, well, the full story that the press didn't show. So I know what he means, humans truly are their own biggest enemy. But wiping us all out is just mean. 

****

Thor glares so hard I swear I hear thunder somewhere. 

****

“kidding” Tony throws his hands up in surrender. Trust him to make an unwise joke.  

****

Peter then arrives, a bounce in his step. He's not wearing any shoes or socks for some reason, just jeans that swallow his ankles and a white t shirt with NASA embroidered in red. Considering Tony it's hard to tell if it's from a retailer or the actual company. 

****

“Peter explain to Thor what a mortgage is” I marvel at Tony's ability to go on such broad reaching tangents and still manage to spring back to the original line of conversation. 

****

“um so when you get a house… actually I'm not too sure what it is either” he admits, sitting next to Thor and avoiding Tony's unimpressed fatherly stare. 

****

“honestly what do they teach at school?” Tony looks up at the ceiling as if contacting a deity. There's one sitting right next to him in a tight powder pink t shirt he could just look to instead. 

****

“I can list the subjects Mr Parker studies” Friday says. It's never a dull moment when she thinks Tony's talking to her. 

****

“no need” he intercepts before she can start. 

****

“hey kids” We all turn our heads to our next visitor, Rhodes, accompanied by Bucky. The longer the assassins been at the compound the more he looks like a regular guy, excluding the vibranium arm of course. Now he's in a burgundy t shirt and jeans, also barefooted -maybe I missed a memo- and with his hair carelessly put up in a little bun. He looks like he could be an artist, or a spiritualist.

****

Tony and I scoot up so they can sit with us, Rhodey next to me and Bucky next to him. Tony's grown to be able to chat casually with Barnes but not to the extent that he can turn his back on him or not flinch when he makes a movement too fast or close. He's the same with Steve, except the two can't chat. I don't blame him, I can't chat with Steve either, any conversation we share is necessary or confrontational. I've actually come to like everybody, except him. Even Natasha, who threw my world into disarray a couple weeks back, is someone I can share mild sass with.

****

“Rhodes could you tell me if Tony being a capitalist is a good or bad thing?” Thor asks him. 

****

If Rhodey was drinking he would have choked on it. “dude that's way too real. I don't want to think about my friend like that” His reaction is appropriate really, capitalists are exploitative by nature, I don't want to think about Tony being exploitative. Thankfully SI is one of the most ethical global enterprises in the world and it's owner saves the world a couple times a year. 

****

“so it's a bad thing” Thor nods to this new knowledge. 

****

“not if you're a nice capitalist” Peter interjects, trying to inject joy into the situation as pleasantly usual. 

****

“that's an oxymoron Pete” Tony comments. 

****

“Yea I don't ever think I've heard Tony and nice in the same sentence” again we have to whip around to look at Natasha as she approaches with Steve and Sam. She's smirking as she says it and it's a good thing Steve didn't because it wouldn't have gone down as a good natured joke and I would be burning my symbol into his face. 

****

Nat and Steve attempt to fit on Thor's couch but with Thors and Steve's ridiculously broad frames Peter has to give up his seat, ambling to sit on the floor where the arms of both couches meet, by Tony's foot. Really Steve should sit on the floor, he deserves no more, but he is 300 years old, so Peters following social convention. 

****

Sam settles next to Bucky, leaving us all feeling each others hip bones press into each other. Not the most comfortable until Tony throws one leg over mine so I have space to scoot closer to him and have my body breathe a little. 

****

“that's everyone right?” Tony glances around before shifting to pull a sleek black disk the size of an old coin out of his back pocket. That is all of us, since Bruce had matters to attend to involving sick people. He's more use wherever he is than here most likely. 

****

Tony tosses the disk on the table and it skids past his mug, coming to a stop at the edge. Interesting that he has so little regard for things that probably cost more than what the average blue collar earns in a year. The little disk beeps red and I'm suddenly reminded of glass exploding. I must jerk because Tony takes my wrist and works circles with his thumb into the underside of it to calm me. It works. 

****

We watch as the disk constructs a blue hologram of a silhouette. It starts at the feet and ends at the face and by the time it constructs the person's eyes it's obvious who it is. The eyepatch, the deep scratch it fails to hide completely, it's Nick Fury. This is the first time I’m seeing him, if you can call it that, but he fits the bill from what Bruce described him to look like; bald, stern, and deprived of an eye.

****

“Nick” Natasha says it like someone's hit her too hard on the back, sitting forward. 

****

“long time no see Natasha, Avengers. Mr Parker we haven't met” he looks down at the kid and smiles a little. So he isn't stern at all hours. 

****

“hello Director Fury Sir” Peter declares. I snort but it goes unnoticed as Tony snorts louder.

****

Fury barks a laugh, “Just Fury. And Dr Strange I've been waiting for you to emerge from the bushes” he says looking at me. He then looks down at Tony's leg over my knee and raises an interested brow. Tony must not have mentioned me.

****

“hi” I wave to the man, not sure what to reply, certainly not ‘apologies for being in a bush’. 

****

“anyway I don't know if Tony's told you but we've been trying to locate Skrulls for the past 2 or 3 weeks” 

****

“Just you and Tony? Why didn't you pitch anyone else in?” Steve asks. It doesn't particularly seem like an attack on Tony but it's hard not to see it that way when his very presence makes me want to sock him in the nose. 

****

“and Maria. The bastard was the only person who could find me, your intellect really needs to get off it's high horse Stark” He accuses, but with snark not anger or frustration. 

****

“no it's just high” Tony shrugs. I elbow him in the ribs and ignore the glare I receive in return.

****

“I'm sorry it's you that's on the high horse” Fury corrects. Considering he's s hologram he really sounds like he's with us, it's so clear. 

****

“any progress on the search?” Rhodey asks, lodging the conversation back in track. Rhodes is one to love, he's the perfect meeting point between professionalism and fun.

****

“yes actually, we've had many reports of people saying they've seen duplicates of themselves” that's promising.

****

“excellent. What's the correlation?” Tony asks him, clearly brightening at the lead. He's beautiful, and it always hits me like a truck when I remember it. 

****

“all the incidents have happened in and around Grand Central Station”

****

“smart” Tony says under his breath. I catch his thread and follow it, Grand Central is smart because it's disgustingly busy, there's endless options of people to copy, and blending in is easy among fast moving crowds. 

****

“how do you suggest we approach this?” Sam asks the Director. 

****

“with caution. Maybe even no action”  

****

“something undercover you mean?” Tony confirms, he looks excited by the idea. I couldn't quite picture why when his whole life has been spotlights flashy suits and fame. Then again maybe that's exactly why, he likes a change. 

****

“yes, meaning you're out Tony” Fury retorts. 

****

“come on, I can wear a cap, hoodie and glasses and no one will suspect a thing” he looks confident but I doubt his words. 

****

“alright but guess who the Skrulls are after? You” Fury points to Tony and I feel like it's being pressed into the centre of my chest with its truth. They are after Tony. 

****

“why him?” Thor asks. 

****

“Tony please tell Thor why a Skrull almost choked you to death in the middle of the night” 

****

“it what now?” Natasha stands alert, scooting forward in her seat as if ready to run out of the compound and destroy something, it burns in her eyes. It looks like Tony's protectiveness over her isn't one way. 

****

“I blasted some of them when they first landed. It only took them an introductory course on the internet to find out who I am” Tony shrugs like he's used to this. He probably is. 

****

“alright so we bring a small group, no one obvious” Steve starts, opening the floor to us with a broad gesture. 

****

“I'd say me, Stephen and Peter go” Rhodey asserts. Pretty much everyone gives him an outraged look and he sighs. "think about it; they know Tony's face, you rogues were  _ living _ with a Skrull, and Thor and Bucky are obvious” 

****

“he's right” Fury says, linking his hands behind his back. I agree too, the goal is for the Skrulls not to know we're on to them, familiar faces aren't any use. 

****

“I'm coming” Tony states, very seriously. 

****

“Tony just because you're in charge doesn't mean you have to be part of everything” Steve comments. Every single letter digs under my skin.

****

“Steve for once this actually isn't about my ego” he glares at the Captain. The Captain glares back. 

****

“you sure?” He's so condescending I don't know how Tony possibly could have dated him. 

****

Tony pauses, but not due to being unsure, "I can't let Peter go if I'm not there” 

****

“I'll be fine Mr Stark” Peter assures, smiling brightly and elbowing Tony's leg. It's exactly that smile that explains so clearly why Tony can't let the kid go alone, if he lost that smile he would lose everything .

****

“I know you will. But I'm coming” he smiles at the kid to assure him but in his eyes I can see he's not assured himself, I can see his fear at the thought anything might happen to the kid and he wouldn't be there to do something about it. 

****

“how will you conceal your identity?” Thor asks. 

****

“I know a spell” I say, deciding based on those worried brown eyes that he has to come. 

****

“alright then it's set” Tony nods. Everyone else looks sceptical, understandable, magic is so lawless it's hard to trust. I struggled to in the beginning. 

****

“if Stephen knows a spell can't we all go?” Natasha points out. 

****

“I can't divide myself that much, it'll distract me” the spell is a cloak, changing the person's appearance as everyone else perceives them, a spell that I have to constantly maintain rather than cast once and call it a day. 

****

“four people is more than enough, all we want to do is snoop around” Fury says. 

****

“how does one spot a Skrull?” Thor enquiries. 

****

“I'll take care of that. They have a weaker heat signature than humans” Tony explains, tapping the black rimmed aviators hooked in the neck of his white jumper.

****

“should we get ready?” Rhodey gets up slowly and looks at us expectantly. 

****

“Yea. Don't worry everyone else I'll have a feed and communication with the compound” Tony assures after he also stands.

****

“Tony stand still” I tell him, moving so we're face to face. To cast the spell I press two fingers to the centre of his forehead and mumble the ancient words. Once his forehead glows where my fingers contact it I make a swiping motion with my hand at Rhodey and Peter. They can't hear it but there's a sound of cracking glass with each swipe I make through the air. Finally I take my fingers and swiftly drag them around his face, leaving an orange mark like pens. Once the circle connects it fizzles away and everybody who I didn't cut out of the spell experiences different levels of shock. Thors specifically is comical.

****

“what? What happened?” Peter looks from Tony to the others frantically, wanting to get in on the action. 

****

“Tony you look ravishing” Thor says when he gets over what I've done to him. He's smiling like it's in jest but I can see by the way he looks at Tony that he does find this new rendition of him attractive.

****

“Yea pretty hot” Barnes pushes out his bottom lip and nods.

****

“what the hell do I look like?” Tony looks at his hands, that to he and I are the same they always are, completely perplexed.

****

I'm also burning to know the fruits of my work so I open a portal to Tony's bathroom and grab the portable mirror he uses to shave under his chin. We stand side by side and I hold it up for the big reveal. 

****

“I'm a chick?” Tony reaches up to touch his face and while his hand and face are clearly a man in the reflection it's a woman reaching up to touch her face; with a hairless face and smaller hand. 

****

Female Tony  _ is _ hot, she's got a good facial structure, bold eyes and lashes,  and dark wavy hair that's tied back into a low messy bun with two strands framing her face. She's also wearing a white jumper and jeans, just woman sized and fitted. 

****

“yes there is a parallel reality where you're a woman. I took that identity and used it as your cloak” it explains why she’s good looking, because Tony is. 

****

“Damn I look good” Tony checks himself out as Rhodes and Peter circle behind us to see him. 

****

“Wow I'd date her” Rhodey comments as Peter marvels at the reflection with a mouth so open he might catch a fly.

****

“You mean you wouldn't date me as I am?” Tony pouts at his friend. 

****

“that's not a question we need answered” I say before Rhodey can chase that thread, returning the mirror to its place.

****

“don't worry Stephen I won't steal your girlfriend”

****

“oh yea I'm your girlfriend in the eyes of everyone else, meaning you'll have to open doors for me and buy me smoothies” he jokes. 

****

“I do open doors for you and you've never let me buy you anything” I point out to him. We almost had a fistfight a week ago arguing over who should pay for our pizza.

****

“I'll make an exception”

****

Only an hour later the four of us are lost in the roaring ocean of Grand Central commuters. Tony and I stick together, posing as a couple, and Rhodey and Peter are solo. Of course Tony never let's Peter get too far away. 

****

“Hot chick to Bum, how's it going” Tony says, scoping the area with the use of his smart glasses. 

****

“I'm hanging by the toilets. Nothing suspicious” Rhodes voice transmits to the device behind my ear. Tony thought since Rhodes used to be a public figure in the military that the complete opposite of a uniform would be the perfect guise, so he's been kitted with a beanie, tatted hoodie, old t shirt, huge shorts and pool sliders. He really is a convincing bum as Tony would say. 

****

“we've pretty much walked around the whole station and nothing?” I murmur to Tony as we walk into the Grand Central market, filled with displays of expensive and not commonly seen foods. 

****

“Yea nothing. We should go outside” with one hand Tony gestures to the automatic doors we'd reach if we walk straight through the mart and the other hooks around my arm, bringing us up against each other. 

****

“Pete stay close to the GC Mart would you?” Tony says, peering at a pile of papayas sceptically. 

****

“alrighty” He chirps over comms. Peters guise is really just his everyday look. We went for a commuting student with him and he totally fits the bill with a nerdy shirt and his backpack. 

****

My guise is just as uncomplicated as Peter, I'm just it a casual outfit; a grey t shirt under a black hoodie, jeans and a navy baseball cap. I've never worn a cap in my life, too proud of my hair to need to, and it's awful. It feels so restrictive to glance up and just see hat instead of sky. But Fury was right, I've been put on the front of a magazine today, I might be recognized if not by my blurry features in the photo by my hair.

****

We make it to the sliding doors and as they open a man collides with Tony. “sorry-” He pauses when he gets a good look at him, too good judging by the way he looks him up and down. “aren't you beautiful?” he smiles intently. 

****

Three things happen, a hot burst runs through my body, I glare at the man in warning, and Tony jumps.

****

My looks enough to scare him on his way so I'm faced with Tony where we stand by a souvenir stall. “what was that?” he asks, looking tousled. I'm not quite sure what he means and he picks that up, “you gave me like electric shock”

****

“when I get sudden bursts of emotion my magic tends to flare up, sorry”  I slip an arm across Tony's shoulder and pull him closer to get him out of a woman's way. 

****

“awe you were mad?” Tony smiles triumphantly, as if he hadn't thought this would happen. He doesn't seem perturbed at all my just being blatantly checked out. 

****

“of course, he hit on you” I crane my neck to see if I can see the man inside the mart. Lucky for him I don't. 

****

“he hit on female me, which isn't technically me” he argues.

****

“still” I huff, leaving the incident behind me and leading Tony across the road at a red light to a Starbucks with round tables outside and a herd of people inside. As soon as we step into the café the buzzing sounds of thousands of conversations merging into one dims and is replaced by quieter conversation and piano music overhead. 

****

“I can't believe I'm actually buying you something” I marvel when I tap my card on the reader. I'm sure Tony's eyes twitch a little at the sound of the beep.

****

“this is the first and last time” he insists, grabbing his matcha latte and leading the way to the outdoor tables.

****

“what about your birthday? Valentine's day? Anniversaries?” I ask as we sit at the table, the one furthest from the door of the establishment and closest to the corner of the street. 

****

“you draw me a picture, just like I make Peter do” He says decisively. 

****

“Tony you know I can hardly hold a pen” I remind him. It would be nice if I could draw him a picture, maybe even paint the sunset we saw one time when we camped on the roof of the tower after work, but even the possibility of it is too far to reach. 

****

“you're right, sorry, a macaroni necklace then”

****

“don't be stupid”

****

“never” he winks, rolling his straw between finger and thumb. 

****

“technically I would have to buy the macaroni” I point out

****

He realises this and his face turns grumpy. “shut up”

****

I watch him drink the powder green liquid and think about all the people that pass us by, rushing to their next destination or strolling with their drinks. They see him as a woman, it's bizarre. Magic really is a constant world of wonder. 

****

“you could see me as a woman too right? If you chose to?” Tony asks, seemingly reading my mind.

****

“yea” I sip on my lemon green ice tea and wait to see where he's going with this.  

****

“why don't you? This is your shot at being on a date with Miss Tony Stark” he means back into his chair with an air of pride at his female form. 

****

“why would I want her? I want you” Tony looks surprised for some reason, like I'd want him to look like anybody but the Tony Stark that caught me in his web. 

****

“You really have a way with words Steph” he finally says, dipping his head and drinking more in a poor attempt to hide a flush. “do you think that in the universe where I'm a woman you'd fall for me?”

****

“I'm sure I have, they're infinite” 

****

“Are there any universes where we’re never together?”

****

“Yea I've had a brief look and there's one where you're a woman and you marry Steve” Tony pales at that, it makes me feel ill too. “in another you stay with Pepper and marry her, or date Rhodey, even Barnes, but the best one is when you marry the king of Wakanda and become a royal wife” I chuckle. The glimpse of Tony sitting on a smaller throne next to the king was quite comical for some reason. 

****

“ _ T'challa _ ?” he looks like he's struggling to swallow, “I'm never going to look at him the same a- wait  _ Barnes _ ? How?” he scoots up to the edge of his seat with interest. 

****

“well he's not that bad” I point out. Shortly after starting to use the Avengers training room I bumped into Barnes. It was just me and him at opposite ends of the hall until he asked me if I wanted to spar. I was reluctant at best and when he got me to cave I had dozens of spells roaring I'm my brain ready to sever his limbs when he pulled a knife from somewhere and stabbed me in the back. But he never did, instead he taught me a lot about techniques to use that don't involve trauma to the hands, for no reward other than kindness, and maybe guilt. Guilt always follows him, like a dark creature sitting on his shoulders.

****

“Yea he's an alright dude” Tony shrugs.

****

“I'm proud of you, for having the strength to accept him” I don't know if I could do the same if I were him, just the fact he didn't put a bullet in Bucky is a feat of restraint. 

****

He thinks for a minute, his expression turning serious and somewhat distant, “he has expressive eyes, and they don't belong to that of a murderer” Tony has expressive eyes too, eyes that belong to a man who's not just smart, but wise, eyes of a man who cares for others and has a big heart.

****

“you're staring” He says, and I realise I have been, for a minute or two. 

****

“is that against the law?” I raise a brow at him, feeling myself smile fondly. 

****

Tony starts to smile back but it freezes on his face as his eyes widen. I watch him perplexedly as he leans close to me, “Stephen tell me the exact model of car you used to drive”

****

“Lamborghini Huracán LP610-4. Are you okay?”

****

“stay here” he's focused on something over my shoulder and before I can turn he bursts out of his seat and weaves through the crowd.

****

Even when I stand I've lost sight of him in the crowd, until I hear screams and people run to the other side of the road. The path clears enough for me to see Tony holding a silver SI paralytic gun and chasing somebody. They bend the corner but I catch enough of a glimpse to realise they're wearing the exact same clothes I am. 

****

Without much more thought I make chase too, running so fast my cap flies off, and eventually reaching the turning where I saw Tony last. It leads into a dead end and there he is, holding the gun up and looking up to the edges of the building darkening the alley. He doesn't notice me at first but when he does he jumps and points the gun with a warning look in his eyes.

****

“seriously? ‘Stay here’? Are you crazy?” I yell, striding up to him. That has him putting away his gun. “what if it shot you and you blead out on the floor right here?” I gesture viciously at the stained ground beneath us.

****

“it was you. You can see why that'd get confusing” he says quietly, but looking me square in the eyes. 

****

“where did it go?” I ask, sighing out my frustration. 

****

“no idea but it was taunting us” Tony says. I'm about to ask him what he means when I'm interrupted by Peter running into the alley at speeds a human wouldn't be capable.

****

“are you okay?” he gasps after stopping abruptly in front of us.

****

“when did we first meet?” Tony asks, with an edge he's never used with Peter. Quickly I realise he's Skrull proofing him.

****

“you mean like when you come to my house or the expo?”

****

“Yea we're fine” Tony's shoulders relax, “Friday, anything?” then they fall, an obvious  disappointment at his AI's answer. “let's get Rhodey and get out of here”

****

* * *

 

“alright Rhodey and I are gonna update Fury on our little failure” Tony sighs after I've broken the cloak spell.

****

“we spotted it, that's a success” I argue, wanting to see him lighten up. In a sea of thousands of people the fact that we found the Skrull is somewhat of a miracle.

****

“Yea yea, Pete it's home time right?” he asks the boy, or almost orders. Rhodey and I smile at each other knowingly, it's always a beautiful thing when Tony's dad side shows through.  

****

“Yea I'll wait here until you're done with your call” Peter nods and slides off his backpack, ready to plop on a couch. 

****

“you like portals?” I ask him on impulse. 

****

Pete lights up, “Yea they're cool!” 

****

“I'll portal you home then” I decide. The look of wander in his eyes deserves it. 

****

Tony steps between us, flailing his arms, “Wow what if he gets stuck in a different dimension?”

****

“it would be a big ask for me to even do that” I tell him with an inevitable smile, which seems wrong since his worry is based on one of his biggest fears. 

****

“it really won't be long I can drop you” Tony insists.

****

“Mr Stark I'll be fine” Peter smiles and rests a hand on Tony's shoulder. Somehow the one gesture sucks all the jitters out of him and only leaves big lost eyes behind, lost eyes that look to me. 

****

“He'll be fine Tony” 

****

“I know. I know” he breathes, pulling Peter into a one armed hug and resting his chin on the boys head. Peter seems stiff, like he's shocked, but Tony doesn't notice as he closes his eyes and soon Peter relaxes. My heart melts in my chest. 

****

Without anymore words Tony turns away from us and followed by Rhodey, heads to the elevator. His friend looks back at us with a wide eyed expression of awe. I have to agree. 

****

“that's the first time he's hugged me…” the kid stares after him dazed, maybe even a little glass eyed. 

****

“really?” I raise a brow. Tony isn't the biggest fan of intimate or meaningful contact with others but with his so blatant love of Peter you'd think it would have slipped by now. 

****

“well one time I thought he was hugging me but he was opening my car door” He scratches his nape.

****

I can picture it and it puts a smile on my face, “I reckon he just said that to preserve himself. I bet he was hugging you” 

****

“regardless it was pretty awkward” 

****

“Alright Pete do you have a picture of where you live?” Peter nods and gets out his phone to jump on google. He has a Stark phone, consisting of just a thin black frame and a strip of glass as the screen, like Tony’s. However Peters frame looks really scratched up and he has a little spiderman charm plugged into his earphone port. He shows me a picture of a block of unremarkable flats in Queens and I nod, phasing my sling ring onto my fingers. 

****

I’m about to gesture for a portal when Peter speaks, “Mr Strange do you love Mr Stark?”

****

My hands freeze mid air and all my thoughts zero in to this singular moment. “That's a heavy question Peter”

****

He looks apologetic, but not regretful, “I know, sorry, but I really like you and he really likes you and I don’t think he should be with anybody else”

****

My arms fall like anchors to my side. I think over Peter's words, circle them again and again until they echo within the confines of my skull. Finally it stands out to me that I would also never want to see Tony with anybody else, and I don't want to stand next to anybody but him, I doubt I would ever want to in this lifetime. From the very first second I saw him face to face he was nothing short of beauty, he was something new and exciting, a crack of sunlight in a windowless room, a drip of water in a parched mouth, the only orange flower in a field of yellow ones. And every morning I wake he somehow manages to shine brighter, steal my heart even more. 

****

“I don't know Peter, maybe” I know for certain how I feel about Tony is different to how I’ve ever felt about anyone, but I’m not sure if it’s love or if he’s consuming me with his ever blinding light. Is there a difference? 

****

“I guess that's enough for now” Peter smiles placidly and I return the courtesy, then going to open the portal. Peter looks with a slack jaw at the sparking rim of the window into another place and peaks around the other side, the narrow street next to his flats.

****

“Take care kid” I tell him after he’s stepped through. 

****

“You too Mr Strange” The last thing I see before shutting the portal is friendly eyes. I completely understand why Tony loves him so much. 

****

As I make my way to my second home, also known as Tony’s quarters, I doubt I could take care, since my thoughts thunder recalling every word Tony’s ever said, every touch, every look, and wonder if it’s love. I expect to be alone with these thoughts when I let myself into his room but he seems to be in the bathroom by the sound of a tap.

****

“That was a quick call” I call, sitting on the edge of the bed and clasping my hands together. 

****

“Hey Stephen, yea it was just an update” He calls back. 

****

Peters thrown me into disarray and I’m not quite sure how to act when I see him but all that goes out the window when he steps out of the bathroom wearing only sweats and a towel draped over his shoulders. For the first time I’m seeing Tony topless and I rush to take it all in; in the center of his chest there's a metal plate matching the silhouette of his housing unit, it must be a magnet. The skin around it is thoroughly scarred, probably because of his previous chest instalment. Most interestingly there's a horizontal thick scar crossing his chest, the rest of its obscured by the towel. Before I can wonder what it might be from I come to the crashing realisation that this is all wrong.

****

“Where’s your chest piece?” I crane my neck around to see if its on one of the tables or the bed but there's no blue light to be seen. 

****

“I took it off”

****

Before I have time to look at him like he’s grown gills there's another problem “Why are you topless?”

****

“I’m not allowed to take some clothes off in my own bedroom?”  _ Then  _ I look at him like he’s grown a van out of his eye.

****

He notices this and sighs, “Look I want there to be more trust between us”

****

“There is trust. I trust you and I understand you have boundaries. You don't have to put yourself through this” I spring up so we’re face to face, so he understands. There's something distant about his eyes, it must be so hard for him to let down all his shields like this. 

****

“What would I do without you?” Tony smiles, fanning out the white towel to cover more of himself. 

****

“Drop on the deck and flop like a fish I’m sure. Now get your housing unit” I shove a black t-shirt that's on the bed at him and make a shewing motion.

Tony hesitates, “Well, you see Stephen, I’m not the one that has it” 

****

I frown for a second. Then it hits me, like a stab to the gut.

****

Tony’s smile turns wicked. I look down I find the handle of a knife sticking out of me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The hanger has been cliffed


	12. A Mans Home Is His Battlefield

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony wears a daddy T shirt. You can imagine how that went down.

I realised too late. I realised too late and now I’m face to face with a Skrull who’s stolen the face of the only person who means everything, with a knife in my stomach. It grabs the handle and twists the knife before yanking it out of me. I bite into my lip restraining a yell from the agonising pain and stumble back, pressing both hands to the wet wound. 

****

“Tony” I gasp. He’s the only thing running through my mind other than pain and the hope I don't bleed out. 

****

“Why would I do anything to him when he can have the pleasure of finding you dead?” 

****

My head feels heavy but I manage to lift it enough to see the evil in the Skrulls face, it’s greed for suffering. I hate that I’ll always remember it on Tony’s features. If I get through this. 

****

“If you excuse me, I must be going” It puts on the black top and bows its head at me. I snarl back, or try, my face feels detached from me, as everything else is. 

****

I want to make chase as the Skrull leaves the room but I find my feet don't move. I’m starting to feel fainter and fainter, heavier and heavier. I look down and my hands are coated in deep red. Through the searing pain I realise I need a spell, something to plug the bleeding, it takes me more time than I can afford to remember it and when I do it doesn’t cast, fizzling out half way through. It’s because I’m panicking. Things start to look blurry and I know I’m far too gone for magic, so as a last grapple at life I throw myself to the wall in a messy stumble and use it as support to get through the door. 

****

There's no one in the hall, the Skrull must have taken the fire exit. I have no hope for following so I spare a hand to grab the doorframe try to call for help. All that comes out is a choke, stuck and garbled and useless.

****

My vision continues to blur and gets black at the edges but somewhere distant I hear a sound and laboriously turn to the elevator. When its doors open I can see two silhouettes, then four. The doubled image merges into one again when I hear someone yelling, maybe my name, maybe something else. Then it's back to four, four men running toward me. I can't breathe.  

****

One gets close enough for me to think it could be Tony, maybe the real one, but before they can be close enough to touch I fall to my knees and everything fades into a deep, endless black. 

****

* * *

 

****

The next thing I see is jarringly bright light, maybe heaven is real, it was stupid for me to have believed it wasn't when I was literally a wizard. Tony would be over the moon if he knew I admitted that. 

****

The light starts to dim and things start happening, like a steady beep I’m all too familiar with, the smell of coffee, and blinking. I’m blinking. 

****

There's voices too, and figures on each side of me. I squint and realise one of them is Peter. “Pete?” My voice sounds croaked and old, like it’s been thrown in a shed and forgotten for years. 

****

“Welcome back Mr Strange” My vision still isn't completely focused but it almost looks like he has tears brightening his under eyes. 

****

A hand gently rests on my opposite shoulder and my head hurts when I turn it. The other person is Tony. But the thought that it might not really be him makes my heart leap in fear. The beeping gets faster.  

****

Somebody grabs Tony's arm, by the hands dark colour I assume it's Rhodey. “Tony back up” that's his voice, although he sounds a lot further away than he looks.

****

Tony yanks his arm out of his friends grip and again my heart jumps, anticipating an attack. Instead he starts undoing his shirt buttons, until his housing unit is showing. “It's me Stephen. It's me” his voice breaks at every word. Maybe mine would too if Tony was afraid of me. 

****

I don't want to be afraid but when I look at him I see that evil smile, those burning eyes. 

****

He places his hand over my wrist. It's clammy, which isn't normal for him. And when I look down I can trust enough in my vision that I'm not imagining that my hand isn't the only one shaking. Slowly my eyes track up to his face and I realise he looks strange. His eyes are a raw red around the rims, the dips of his face have become hollows, his skin seems lost of its gorgeous olive shade.

****

“are… are you sick?” I ask him, remembering I have the muscles in my face to frown. 

****

“I'm fine. How do you feel?” 

****

“slow” I grunt, wiggling my toes under my thin blanket so my body feels connected to me. “where's the Skrull?” 

****

“it escaped” Tony says, with venom in his voice. Rhodey rests his hand on his shoulder but in a comforting gesture this time. 

****

“how can you know that?” I look to Tony, then Rhodes then Peter, seemingly the only people in the room. Tony might have proved his authenticity as his chest piece cannot be worn by anyone but him but the same can't be said for the other two. 

****

“Thor gave us cool tattoos” Peter thrusts out his arm and shows me his inner wrist, the Asgardian symbol is etched into it like a brand. Triquetra. 

****

“what he means is we had everyone sit thorough questioning with lie detectors and all and when we passed Thor gave us these symbols as proof we're not Skrulls” Rhodey explains at my confusion. 

****

“it copied Tony's scars” I retort, sounding low energy because it's all I have. Tony seems to duck away slightly, trouble in his eyes. The Skrull showed me a part of him he wasn't ready to show.  

****

“these are brands made by magic. They can't be replicated” Rhodey says. It comforts me, magic can't be harnessed by Skrulls.

****

“how long have I been out?” it felt like minutes between black and white, but his knows it may have been hours.

****

“10 days” Rhodey sighs.

****

“what?” I don't know where my energy comes from but I manage to sit up in my surprise. I've missed too much, what if something's happened at the sanctum? 

****

“Don't worry Tony's been on top of everything” Rhodey assures as if he's read my mind. Tony's capabilities don't have a limit, but I have duties beyond even his understanding.

****

“when can I leave?” I look down at the IV in my wrist and the clamp on my index finger and imagine I can do without them. I may feel slow but interestingly even as I've sat up I don't feel any pain. 

****

“you just woke up” Tony points out, a weakness and plead in his expression.

****

“And? I've been through worse than getting stabbed with a little knife” I've come to accept the pain I've endured; the accident, Dormammu. It's an old friend. But when I deliver the words Tony winces, like it pains him. 

****

“Please Stephen just give it a day and then maybe you can start walking around” this time he grips my wrist and his hands are most definitely clammy. 

****

I really look at him, my vision completely restored, and notice his eyes slip in and out of focus on me, when usually he's so good at pinning me down with them. “Tony, seriously, you look ill”

****

“seriously I'm fine”

****

“he hasn't slept since the accident” Peter says. I turn to look at him and he's the one pinning Tony down, with a stare hard as marble. 

****

“he also hasn't consumed anything other than coffee and the occasional milkshake when he's been too weak to fight me off” Rhodey ads. 

****

“Will you two get off my back!” Tony yells. Then he sways, and grips his chest as he swallows. The memory of something he once said crashes into me, the joke about having heart failure. If he does this rampage of no sleep, caffeine and no food could be life or death.

****

“Tony listen carefully. You're going to eat, then sleep. If you don't I'll get out of this bed and force you to with any means necessary. Understand?” I tell him with a much harder glare than Peters. 

****

Tony's about to argue, of course he is, but his stance is a lot more closeted than it usually is when he argues. “Stephen-”

****

“I'll be right here when you come back. I promise” I soften and smile, meaning my words. I may be an idiot but I was a doctor and I know I shouldn't be walking around straight away. And I'd wait for Tony always. 

****

Tony deflates somehow even more than he already is. “alright. Okay”

****

“I'll come with you!” Peter chirps when Tony turns to the door. The boy links arms with him and Tony probably needs the support more than he's letting on. And if anyone can make him eat it's Peter. 

****

“he hasn't looked this bad since he was dying” Rhodey says, staring at the door but also into a distant past, one that saddens his features. 

****

“what's he been doing since I've been out?” I ask when it looks like the man's retreating into corners too dark. 

****

“He's just been here. A lot of the time he sang to you. He'd also update you on stuff happening in Neuroscience” he explains, falling into the chair against the wall with a light sigh. 

****

“that's sweet” I wiggle my toes again and wonder what he sang; maybe riptide again, maybe his favourite song, or something he thought I might like. 

****

“other times he'd cry”

****

My thoughts screech to a halt and I give Rhodey a startled look. I've seen Tony defeated, hurt, sad, even in the throws of a panic attack yet I've never seen him truly cry. Crying isn't something I've ever associated with him, he feels, but doesn't cry. He doesn't cry. 

****

“I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad. I just want you to know he's taken this hard, so be as easy as you can on him” 

****

“he doesn't think it's his fault does he?” even as I ask I know the answer. 

****

“Stephen you know he thinks everything is his fault” 

****

“but why?” I ask myself more than anyone. Rhodey still answers;

****

“we reviewed the Grand Central footage and if you think about it it's quite obvious that the Skrull was baiting us. The fact that GC was a clone hotspot should have tipped us off, the Skrulls aren't stupid enough to be that obvious. It lured us and waited for us to reveal ourselves. Tony fell for the bait and the Skrull somehow followed us, somehow got into the compound, then used his face for your attempted murder” Rhodey explains with his temples held by thumb and middle finger. He looks tired, maybe from watching Tony watch me. 

****

It occurs to me that something doesn't fit, “how did the Skrull get in?” the compound isn't a church or a mini mart. It has state of the art security named after a day if the week. 

****

“it entered under Sam's identity then became Tony. Of course Tony knows the code to put Friday to sleep so it knew it too”

****

“shit” I breathe. Then it occurs to me why all this was such a success, when the Skrull became Steve all it gave it was a face to trust. Becoming Tony wasn't only that but it was unlocking his mind, his greatest weapon, one of the greatest weapons on earth.

****

“shit is correct. We've underestimated them”

****

“do you think Tony's going to be alright?” I ask him after we share a moment of defeated silence. 

****

“honestly that's a weight that lies on your shoulders. Be there for him, show him how you feel, he might never forgive himself but he'll learn to live past it” 

****

The next time I see Tony twelve hours have passed, Wong's come to see me and I'm more than sick of being confined to a bed. 

****

“did you sleep?” I ask him the second he steps through the door. He looks a lot better, not so dead. His eyes still look tired, hair delightfully unruly, and he's on the paler side but his hands aren't shaking and he doesn't look like he has a zombie virus. 

****

“I had no choice really, Peter webbed me to the bed”

****

I snort. Of course he did. “what would you do without him?” 

****

“I really don't know” Tony jokes half the time he opens his mouth. This isn't that half. 

****

For a moment Tony hovers at the foot of my bed, not sure what he should do, as if he's forgotten how to act around me. 

****

“Do you like UNO?” It's the first thing I think of to break the awful unfamiliarity. 

****

“UNO? Really? You seem like more of a blackjack guy. Or chess” Tony says, sounding much more like himself. 

****

“Wong loves it, got me into it too” I tell him. With a swipe of my hand over my lap I phase my friends deck of cards into the room. With a quick spell I form a floating platform under them, acting as a table, and start to deal two sets of 7 cards. Still Tony doesn't move. 

****

“Come here” I pat the bed and scoot to the left so he has space to sit. Tony obliges, quietly sitting on the edge then throwing his legs over to lie parallel to mine. They end a lot sooner than mine and it makes me smile. 

****

“yes yes I'm short” he huffs, having noticed what was amusing me. What  _ I  _ notice is that his black t-shirts got ‘daddy” written on it in bubbly pink writing, resembling the Barbie font. I debate whether to ask about it. 

****

“you first” I tell him instead, turning over the first card. Red 4. 

****

“do you feel any pain?” he asks after throwing down a red 2. It hasn't even occurred to me to think about the wound that made this situation possible. It barely hurts, just a throb like when a friend punches you a little too hard. 

****

“no” I frown, dipping my fingers under the white Avengers t shirt I've been unknowingly given and find that the entry wound is nothing but a bump, not even bandaged. 

****

“there's nothing a little nanotech can't do” he shrugs. God he's brilliant. 

****

“a little nanotech could make you immortal” I comment after fanning my cards back out and putting down a blue 2. 

****

“that sounds awful” Tony grimaces and picks up two cards. 

****

We continue playing and I'm down to two cards when Tony slaps me with a plus 4. Grudgingly I pay my do’s. 

****

“yellow. Do you still trust me?” he looks me in the eye, suddenly serious. 

****

“what?” 

****

“Rhodes and I watched the feed from my room. You told… it that you trusted me even if I had limits to how open I could be. Do you still feel that way?” I'm torn between feeling exposed and torn. I do trust Tony. I do. I do. 

****

“well of course” but I can see that smile on my eyelids when I blink. 

****

“your heart rate spiked when you saw me earlier. Your eyes were fearful”

****

“I'm sorry It's just hard to look at you and not see it's face when It... stabbed me” The silence that follows feels like running fingers over the edge of broken glass. 

****

“right” Tony rearranges his cards. Only to keep himself occupied I'm sure. 

****

“it'll go away” 

****

He looks at me disbelievingly, “I got my heart ripped out over 5 years ago and I don't think I'll ever be able to not wear a reactor” that's right, Obadiah Stane. Tony told me about him after some blissful morning sex. It definitely sobered the moment. 

****

“let's try to make it go away then, that's the least we can do” truly, if anything we must try. And if it doesn't work, there are other ways I can recalibrate my fears. 

****

“okay” Tony nods. We continue playing, until we're both on the edge of a win. 

****

“I thought about drinking” I look to Tony, who's looking at his last card but really his gaze is fixed on a demon far in the past.

****

“did you?” my stomach tightens in anticipation. If Tony were in my position I might want to lose myself in alcohol, it'd be so easy, so tempting. 

****

“no” relief washes over at the reply. He had the strength many others might not have had. 

****

“what stopped you?” 

****

He smiles, a small one. “you left some of your tea leaves in the kitchen. I made that instead” 

****

I love you

****

I blink, taken aback at the words. And when Tony's expression remains undeterred I realise I didn't say them out loud. Yet in my head they yell, they hold the megaphone and the nation. They're so big they threaten to burst. Maybe they won't if I let them out. 

****

No. I'm not ready. Once I say them out loud it's over, either accepted or rejected. I need to taste the words, circuit them through all my synapses. 

****

_ I love you Tony. _

****

“I win” he plops his last card on top of the messy pile we've made and grins. I gasp at my surprise defeat, since I'd completely forgotten we were even playing.

****

“You're sneaky Stark” I toss down my final card and can't help but take the defeat in smile and stride. 

****

“the trick to being sneaky is not being sneaky at all” he tells me, wagging his index finger. I can imagine Tony's dramatic and out there persona has hidden benefits, like not being suspected of being sneaky, therefore getting away with it.

****

“oh I hate when you go all cryptic” I tell him anyway.

****

“says Dr Cryptic” 

****

“that's a cool supervillain name” I tip my head in thought. I'd imagine Dr Cryptic would wear silver and maybe be a hacker.

****

“what would my supervillain name be?”

****

I almost laugh at how quickly the answer comes to me. “Superior Iron Man”

****

“what? That's super uncreative but also oddly specific” 

****

“that's your name in the alternate reality where you're kind of evil” I wasn't able to see all the pieces of the reality but something happened to Tony to enhance his so to speak negative traits so he wasn't bad by choice. 

****

“of course one of those exists” Tony scoffs, rolling his eyes. 

****

“it's not that bad. You just make everyone love you and get them addicted to an app that makes them beautiful and healthy so you can control them and their wallets”

****

Tony makes a face. “that's traumatic”

****

“Glad you think so,” again the print on his top catches my eye and I can't help it, “ _ daddy _ ”

****

“Stephen” he says reprimandingly, although it would work better if he didn't stutter it slightly. 

****

“if you don't want me to say it you shouldn't have worn it. Why do you have it anyway?” I ask him, gesturing at the top, slim but not fitted. 

****

“Nat got me it for my birthday years ago” he says, pulling at the edge of it. 

****

“Please tell me it was an inside joke”

****

He raises a sceptical brow. “why?” 

****

I narrow my eyes and feel a cunning smile settle on my lips. “because if it is it means you like being called Daddy” 

****

“or- or it could mean that I'm the father of the Avengers” he waffles, so clearly waffles. 

****

This is very interesting. 

****

I lean closer and closer until my lips brush his pink ear and whisper without holding back any intent in my voice, “we both know it doesn't don't we daddy?” 

****

“stop that right now or I'll take you right here on this bed” Tony growls. That dark rumbling power filled tone makes me want it more than anything in the world. 

****

I happily slip my hands under the floating platform and slap it shut like a book, causing it and the cards to vanish, leaving nothing but space needing to be filled between us. “Yes daddy that sounds exactly like the kind of punishment I need”

****

My cheeky but very much lustful grins wiped away when Tony pins me to the mattress by the wrists. I hate that my first reaction is panic but a quick look at the housing unit and the symbol on his inner left wrist quell my irrational fear of hidden knives. I'm left nothing but aroused and starstruck by Tony's angelic yet hungry face looking above me. 

****

Ten minutes of soft moans and tender loving later Tony finally slips in and continues that soft pace. It's so delicious, ethereal, until I want more. 

****

“faster” I gasp as he hits me in just the right place. He's been precise, each slow stroke hitting the spot perfectly, which is what makes it more excruciating thay be doesn't abuse it. 

****

“what do we say when we want something?” he asks without ceasing his rhythm or even sounding that unravelled.  

****

“Please faster” I grip his arm and my fingers might have ripped into his skin in pleasure and desperation intense enough to bring me almost to tears. 

****

“what else do we say?”

****

It's right there in front of me, in innocent pink. “Please Daddy faster”

****

“that's right” he smiles down at me,  be a beacon of true power. I've decided I like him like this, so dominant when he's usually considerate and lovingly meticulous.

****

He pulls my top up and over my head, grips my hips firmly, shuffles a little and that's all I remember coherently before I'm absolutely destroyed.

****

Once it's all over the volume in the room reduces to mutual heaving as Tony lies splayed on top of me, the top that started it all sticking to the sheen of sweat on my skin. Finally I feel at bliss with the world. 

****

Just when Tony looks like he might fall asleep he opens one eye to peak at his watch and groans. “I'm late for a meeting” 

****

“which?” I ask him, smoothing back the tufts of hair stuck to his forehead. 

****

“here. With Fury and the Avengers. About the Skrull” 

****

“I'm coming” 

****

“are you sure?” he props himself up on one elbow to get a good look at me.

****

What the Skrull did made Tony cry and fall to the edge of death. I will be part of taking it down and out. “yes let's go”

****

Tony groans even louder as he rolls out of the bed, many bones click when he stretches his hands over his head. “I'm too old for this” he grumbles, throwing the used condom packet in the bin by the door. 

****

“does that mean I don't get any more of that?” I'm say at the edge of the bed and I point over my shoulder at the spot in which Tony shattered even my astral form. I would be very sad to get a taste of a whole new kind of glory only for it to be taken away.

****

Tony considers this, “not if you ask nicely”

****

“with the magic word?” I fish, wriggling my underwear and grey shorts back on.

****

Tony's eyes darken and I feel him looming over me all over again. “you learn so fast. Come on” he extends his hand.

****

I look at it uselessly, conflicting thoughts running through my head. We've never held hands in a public setting before. Usually we link arms or he holds me by the wrist. He seems to notice my uncertainty and let's his arm fall to his side, gesturing I follow with a jut of his chin instead. He doesn't look upset, more understanding, but as he heads out something in my chest aches for him and before I can think too much of it I catch up and grab his hand. We don't speak as they attempt to interact, fumbling thanks to me before we manage to lace our fingers. It feels safe.

****

We continue to the conference room silently, hand in hand, and only when I'm looking at everybody sat around the table through the glass do I catch myself in its reflection. Above my neckline two purple splotches and one bite mark shine like beacons and I realise in horror that a the Avengers will see them. It's too late to do anything when Tony let's go of my hand to place it on the small of my back, leading me into the room.

****

Everybody stares, and most school their expressions to neutral, but not Natasha, she bursts into quiet laughter. Maybe it's Tony's t shirt or maybe it's the fact that we've quite clearly had sex, evidenced not only by the modern artwork on my neck but the state of my hair as it hangs too generously over my forehead. Tony's lucky his hair is short enough to survive anything. 

****

As we sit close to the head of the table the laughter catches Rhodey a little, but he's better at hiding it. Peter looks traumatised. 

****

Again Tony chucks his black disk on the table and out forms Fury. The first thing his hologram form looks at is me. “Dr Strange I'm glad to see you back on your feet” he looks again, “and then some” 

****

“thank you” I nod to him, struggling to feel civil or authoritative when I've been debauched by the man to my left. 

****

Fury claps his hands together, moving on from me and starting to pace. “Alright people, good news, the leader of the Skrulls is coming to collect his rebels”

****

My mouth sours at the memory of first meeting Skrulls. They said they wanted to infiltrate us. “coming here? That sounds unwise” 

****

“yea how can you trust him?” Tony agrees. 

****

“we're friends, we went through some stuff in the 90's”

****

“only now you tell us you're friends with aliens?” Steve says, raising a brow. 

****

Looking around the room I realise everyone has the majority of their arms on show. Only Bucky and Bruce are actually wearing long sleeves and they have them pushed up to their elbows. It must be an unspoken rule, so Thor's brand is visible at all times. 

****

“I wasn't aware I couldn't have secrets” Fury employs his single eye to give Steve a weighted look, maybe referring to Tony's parents, maybe something else. Either way it beats the Captain down.

****

“but we still haven't caught the Grand Central one” Peter points out. 

****

“that's the next step isn't it? But you've had no problem with the others, this one is smarter but you'll manage” Fury seems to miss the problem. 

****

“this one is very dangerous for a few reasons. First he's seen almost all of us but secondly he has Tony” I point to him, who isn't helping his case by having his feet up on the corner of the table like a cocky teen. 

****

“you mean he has Tony's knowledge?” Bruce asks, interest consuming him. We all know the Skrull disabled Friday. That control alone could end us. 

****

I nod, “exactly. That has the potential to destroy us”

****

“well thank you” Tony says, then swings his legs off the table to lean forward, “we can twist that to our advantage though. Even I have weaknesses right?” 

****

“many” Natasha comments under her breath. Tony sticks his tongue out at her and surprisingly she reciprocates.

****

“you can be brash” Steve offers. If this table weren't so wide I'd kick him.

****

“no I mean holes in my knowledge. The Skrull won't gain my personality”

****

Tony looks around the room for someone to point something out but he isn't the only one, all of us are looking for someone else to say something. He sighs and sits back. “okay this is gonna be a task”

****

“well maybe he won't turn into Mr Stark” Peter offers, with his usual air of unrealistic positivity. 

****

It sounds useless but it makes Tony light up with an idea. “or maybe we won't let him”

****

“what?” Barnes frowns. 

****

“Stephens department is working on a disabling device, it could prevent the Skrulls from shapeshifting at all” that's right, we are, and progress is good. 

****

“Alright so we kick back until the device is done?” Sam asks.

****

“no we'll keep looking until we find him and then kick back until we have the device” Fury corrects. 

****

Shortly after the meeting wraps up and Fury goes right back into Tony's back pocket. “so what now? The tower?” I ask him, pressing myself against the edge of the table so everybody can file out.

****

“No Peter's science fair. If you're up for coming?” he raises a questioning brow. The kids behind me, an expectant smile on his face. I couldn't say no even if I wanted to.

****

“oh yes of course”

****

“Alright let's wash up. Bruce we'll meet in the lobby in 30” he calls over to the man where he is at the back of the room talking to Bucky. Peters going to be the coolest kid in school for bringing three industry pros to his fair. If knowing science people is considered cool. 

****

After Tony and I take turns in the shower and change; him into a black jumper with ‘you know who I am’ embroidered on the breast and me into a plain grey one and black jeans, we're ready to meet Bruce and Pete. 

****

“isn't that the title of your biography?” I ask Tony as we wait for the elevator to hit ground floor, gesturing at the threaded text on his jumper. 

****

“don't tell me you've read it”

****

“I did like 10 years ago. I don't remember much”

****

“I should probably do another one right? Now that I'm Iron Man I mean, and also a completely different person. Maybe  _ I _ should write it this time, I don't know how I’d find the time though. I could call it ‘you don't know who I am’. Wait you were a fan 10 years ago?” he stops his ramble to raise both his brows my way. 

****

“fan is a strong word. I admired you for your intellect and business sense” I correct. A week attempt really.

****

“that counts as being a fan sorry big guy” Tony shrugs with a satisfied grin as the doors open up for us. We gather Bruce and Pete and when we get outside and Tony's orange Audi is waiting I stop dead in my tracks. 

****

“Stephen?” Bruce says in the soft way he says everything. Bless him. 

****

“could we portal? Please?” Peter asks, his eyes consuming me with an eager stare. 

****

One glance at Tony prevents me from readily caving in. “no we're driving” 

****

“no let's portal” Tony says. I look at him with wide eyes. 

****

“seriously?” 

****

“yes let's do it” he insists, urging me on. With a very sceptical look his way I employ my sling ring and open a portal near Peters school. 

****

“after you” I signal to Peter and Bruce. The latter seems uncertain but there isn't much he can do when Peter yanks him by the sleeve and into another part of New York. 

****

“Tony you don't have to”

****

“you said you trust me despite my barriers. Well then I owe you to try and overcome them”

****

“Alright. Only if you want to for you and not just me” Tony nods at that and takes one step toward the portal, then stops, just staring at it like it's a painted depiction of bloody murder. 

****

I step in and hold him by the wrists, taking the fear away from his eyes and swapping it for beautiful warmth, but also a seeking for safety. “I believe in you always” 

****

Tony smiles and I cover it with my lips, kissing him deeply as if it could ever express how much I feel for him. Then I gently pull him by the wrists without breaking our lips and by the time we do we're on the other side of the portal and it's closed. 

****

“hey you cheated” Tony argues when he notices the temperature change. It's hardly got any punch behind it. 

****

“We get it. You're head over heels” Bruce rolls his eyes before following Peters lead. 

****

“hey don't be jealous, you know, Thor's single” Tony calls after him. I'm happy to trail at the back of the group as they argue over Thor's sexuality and whether Asgardians even care about gender at all. Asgardians have mated with some pretty strange things, I wouldn't be surprised if Thor was into something other than just women. 

****

Apparently the school fair is rather popular, a fair amount of people file in and out of the main building, many looking like parents with their kids, as you'd expect. We walk into the gym and there's tables set up in a square, each belonging to a student or group and their feat of science. Peter leaves us to set up his presentation so the three of us start to look at things, starting with the first table on the right. A volcano, of course. 

****

“the lava trick huh? Old school” Tony comments, clearly trying to say cliché in nicer words. 

****

“not at all” the girl behind the table says. She grabs a test tube and pours the contents into the plaster cast volcano and after a few very non suspensive seconds red smoke pumps out of it. Smoke, interesting. 

****

It's easy to say all three of us are surprised when the smoke transitions to orange, then yellow, and covers the whole rainbow before it dies out.

****

“that's impressive” Bruce nods approvingly. 

****

“you'd be a great stage effects person for the Expo…”

****

“C'mon Tony stop trying to recruit people every five seconds” Bruce pushes Tony on to the next table and only then the girl seems to notice who she was talking to. Her heavily decorated eyes widen. 

****

“I don't do that!” he argues. 

****

“yea you do” I supply. I have a strong feeling he's going to offer someone else a good opportunity any minute. 

****

“oh wow Tony Stark what are you doing here?” The next kids jaw almost hits the floor. 

****

“Peter said these things are alright” he shrugs, peering at the model silver car on the boys table. 

****

“Parker?”

****

“yup”

****

“wait so you actually know each other? I thought he was lying…”

****

Tony straightens and something in his demeanour changes. “oh you're Flash aren't you?”

****

The boy swallows. “yea” he looks guilty. 

****

“show us your thing then” Tony signals with his finger in a borderline disrespectful way. There's some kind of history here.

****

The kid picks up a little remote and presses something, making the wheels of the car turn horizontal. Then the vehicle starts rumbling and slowly it hovers into the air, powered by thrusters in the wheels. It takes talent to make something like that happen. 

****

“Wow Thompson that's pretty impressive. I have one of these” Tony says in an airy tone, but not the good kind, the kind he uses when he's about to drop a bomb.  

****

“really?” the kids brows fly up into their hairline. 

****

“yea but a real car and it turns into an iron man suit. Keep at it, and play nice” he pierces Flash with his stare as he waves. Then wanders to the next table as if nothing happened.

****

“what was that?” I ask him, grabbing his arm to turn him to us. 

****

“he gives Peter a hard time. I don't like mean kinds” 

****

“you are  _ such _ a dad” Bruce groans. 

****

“no I'm just a good person” Tony corrects. I wonder if it's crossed his mind that he's both. 

****

“um excuse me?” all of us turn to the monotone voice to see the girl behind the third table. She looks as lifeless and she sounds, with hooded eyes and a slouching posture. “I'm a big fan”

****

We look to Tony who smiles kindly. “thank you”

****

“Not you, mechanics aren't really my thing. Dr Banner and Dr Strange you've done fascinating work” she says, showing us a stiff smile. It takes everything in me not to burst out laughing at how brutally she took Tony down. 

****

“thank you. What's your name?” I school my expression to look grateful rather than amused. 

****

“Michele” surprisingly it's Tony that says this. 

****

“oh you've met?” Bruce asks. 

****

“no but Pete talks about you a lot” her surprise at that seems like the most emotion we're going to get from her. 

****

“oh. Cool, whatever I don't care. Check this out” from her table she picks up a bow and two of the 5 arrows lined up then turns to a target with what looks like a dead bird pinned to it. It's not pretty. “this is an electrified arrow” she says, loading it onto the bow and shooting it at the dead bird, some kind of sparks flash and it does shake a little. “and poison. Paralytic, hallucinogenic and lethal” she signals at the other arrows. “also netting” she shoots the second arrow she's holding and as promised when it penetrates the bird a net comes out of god knows where. 

****

Tony looks thoroughly excited by this rather morbid display. “i know a guy that would  _ love _ this” he's likely referring to Hawkeye. 

****

“you know this is much closer to engineering than anything we do” Bruce points out, signalling at himself and I. 

****

“oh well I was lying I am into Tony's work it's just that Peter talks about him  _ so _ much he's not really special anymore” she shrugs. “no offence” 

****

Tomy looks absolutely over the moon, his eyes are practically beacons of light. Not a dad my ass. 

****

“so what inspired you?” Bruce asks her. 

****

“I want to give these to the Indians so they can protect themselves from the dirty Americans trying to claim the little land they have left” she says flatly. It's a good cause I guess. 

****

A short woman of the same mixed complexion as Michele approaches. Must be her mum. Unlike her daughter she looks very smiley. “oh Mr Stark hello”

****

“hi” he waves with a smile. 

****

“we met at Sports day I don't know if you remember?”

****

I can imagine Tony there, wearing Peters teams colours, cheering so aggressively when he inevitably wins whatever he's entered for that his chocolate raisins fall all over the floor. 

****

“Michele you weren't there were you?” he swerves. He must not remember her mum then. 

****

“sports are primitive” she says. 

****

“right. Well Ms Jones this is my pal Bruce and my boyfriend Stephen” he introduces, signalling at us respectively. It's not often Tony gets to introduce me but when he does like this I always dissolve.

****

“Oh that's lovely, are you a new couple or have you met the parents already?” Michele death stares her mum. I'm lost for what to say. 

****

“well my parents are dead” when we all fall into an incredibly uncomfortable silence he attempts to break the ice “what about yours Stephen?”

****

“We don't speak” I've never told Tony about my parents and he's never asked, he's good at understanding that there are things we can't be open about. My parents weren't loving, they sought nothing but success and when there was failure we would be punished. The second I got out from under their roof was the best second of my life. 

****

“oh shame. I'll let you get on” She nods respectfully and goes about her way. 

****

“sorry about her” 

****

“not a problem. Good luck protecting the natives” Tony bows to her then leads the way to the next display.

****

Peter's table is the third one from the end and he's got an A3 sized square of cloth held in a wooden frame as his display. It looks like webbing disguised as fabric.

****

“give us the rundown kid” Tony says, clasping his hands behind his back in wait for something amazing. 

****

“impenetrable fabric” he chirps. “hit it with something, anything you like” he signals at the array of things on the table in front of us like a salesman at a fun fair. We look at the stuff; rocks of different sizes, a pocket knife, pellet gun, hammer, pizza cutter and electric drill. I have to wonder how he got this all into school. Bruce picks up the pizza cutter and leans over the table to run it over the fabric. Nothing. Then he picks up the knife and jabs. It doesn't break, just stretch. “Not bad” he comments. 

****

“yea this stuff could save lives!” It could, if military tenets were made from it, or uniforms. 

****

“Bruce turn into the Hulk and punch it” I can't tell if he's joking and it's a little concerning. 

****

“that's the stupidest thing I've never heard Tony” he deadpans, giving him a look. 

****

“Alright I guess I have to do everything” he sighs, sticking out his hand in his iconic repulsor shooting pose. The gauntlet of the suit forms around his hand and without much thought for the people around us he blasts the fabric. The wooden frame folds and breaks in half and the sound has everyone's heads turning.

****

“Mr Stark!”

****

“let's see it” 

****

Peter grudgingly picks up the fabric and it's unfazed apart from a small burn mark.

****

“okay now I'm impressed” the gauntlet retracts and he brushes his hands together in satisfaction. 

****

A lady in a flowy peach dress taps Tony. She's wearing a black lanyard with the school's name on it. “excuse me Mr Stark, um… lethal weapons aren't allowed here” interesting that she's overlooked Peters tools or Michele's bow and arrow.  

****

Tony peers at the lady over his glasses and smirks, the horribly attractive one. “Then you should have stopped me at the gate” it's stupid. The stupidest line. But his delivery somehow makes it excellent and the teacher moves on, a mumbling mess.

****

Bruce leans over when Tony circles the table to help Peter with his stand. “he's so cool. I hate him” he says under his breath, likely so Tony doesn't hear and let's it go to his head. 

****

“you're not too bad yourself” I nudge him with a little smile, hoping to lift the mock jealous look from his face. 

****

“what gave it away? The glasses or the purple plaid?” he asks, raising a brow. Frankly Bruce isn't ‘cool’, but he doesn't need to be, he makes up for it with everything else. 

****

“Tony wears glasses too and you picked the shirt” I argue with a shrug. 

****

“you don't mind when he flirts?” Bruce asks, referring to the teacher. 

****

“no” Tony's interesting when it comes to flirting, he mainly does it with people he doesn't know or like. What really means something is the subtle flirting, and how open he is. When Tony opens up about his thoughts or something in his past it's the most special thing to me, the measure of our love. If he loves me that is.

****

I decide not to fall down that hole.

****

“Yea I guess he's different when he means it” Bruce comments, seeming to follow my train of thought. 

****

After 20 minutes of chatting with Peter about his project and other little things we decide to leave him to it and make our way back to where I first opened the portal.

****

“those kids have talent” Bruce comments as I open my storage dimension to find my sling ring. 

****

“yea I'm looking to offer Midtown my grant” Tony says, slipping his hands into his pockets.

****

Bruce smiles proudly at his friend. “oh that's great Tones” 

****

As I cast the portal open I very much agree. Tony's the most giving selfless person I've ever known and any act of kindness makes me so proud. 

****

“okay Banner skedaddle. Stephen and I are going on a date” Tony says, gesturing for Bruce to go.

****

“We are?” I ask, blinking at this new development. 

****

“yep” he pops the p and leans back on his heels. 

****

“well enjoy it” he says, stepping into the compound with a little wave. 

****

“so where are you taking me?” I ask him after I've closed the portal.

****

“you're not afraid of cliffs are you?”

****

“no just cars” I say grudgingly, wishing I couldn't be crippled by a metal container with wheels. 

****

“I wanna take you to my house then. The one in Malibu. Can you picture it?” 

****

I rack my brain a second and finally remember it, a circular themed house on the edge of a cliff looking out to the sea. “yea”

****

“open up a portal then wiz”

****

I frown at him. “you sure?”

****

“yea I need practice if I want to get over this” 

****

“Okay” I rotate my hand and there opens a window into a circular platform with cracked tiles, overlooking the edge of a cliff. The smell of seawater overwhelms me, but it's soothing. “after you”

****

Tony approaches the portal and sticks one hand in, waving it around like he expects it to be an illusion that'll dissolve to the touch. No such luck. “Maybe if you kiss me again…”

****

I chuckle at his puppy eyes. “just tell me when you want a smooch” in one swoop I hold him by the hips and swing us both into Malibu held together by lips. 

****

“aren't you smooth?” Tony praises as I close the portal with a flick of the wrist. 

****

“I learn from the best” I tell him, kissing him on the forehead before letting myself be lead to the actual edge of the cliff. There doesn't seem to be any protection from plummeting to ones death. 

****

“there was a ledge here but it fell in the water when my house got blown to high hell” he explains, as if reading my thoughts. 

****

“oh that's why I remember your house, it was on the news. You gave a terrorist group your address” I give him an unimpressed look. I remember the story only vaguely but I remember how strongly I thought he was an idiot. 

****

“actually I gave the  _ world _ my address. I'm offended you didn't swing by” he stops walking only when he's one step away from falling into the sea. I choose to put more space between me and the craving waves against unforgiving rock.

****

“I'm deeply sorry” the humour drops from me when I turn around and see the house. It looks like an ancient Roman ruin. The whole house is tilted on an inconvenient axis, both floors of it visible thanks to the collapsed wall. The rooms are stripped bare except pillars, some unscathed some crumbling at the edges. Dust settles everywhere.

****

“I used to have a white Audi, loved that thing. It fell down there and I think it signified the end of an era” Tony points to the ocean below us, staring down distantly. “lost my piano too. And I fell down there with it” he comments like he was just another piece of furniture. 

****

Another look down there tells me that couldn't have been easy. “how'd that go?”

****

“I managed to escape. People thought I was dead for a while” he explains, not seeming bothered by the topic. 

****

“I think I remember that” 

****

He lowers himself to the ground and touches his fingers to the cracked uneven tiles like they might break under pressure. “and I kneeled right here not too long after that all happened, and realised I could never give up Iron Man, because I am him” he smiles to himself. 

****

I sit too, behind Tony, stretching my legs on either side of him. He rests his shoulders against my chest and his soft hair tickles my ear. “why would you want to give up Iron Man?” 

****

A broad smile tugs on his lips. “what the hell did I do to deserve you Stephen?”

****

“A lot actually” assuming I'm an item of high standing to reach me he's made great leaps for science and technology, he's saved the world countless times, been so kind and giving and unapologetically himself. He deserves the world, and I tell him as much.

****

“I love you” 

****

My heart leaps bounds out of my chest and when I realise it wasn't me that said it, it was him, it tears free of my chest and free falls into the ocean below us. 

****

“I know what you're thinking, it's way too soon, I thought that, but then I watched you collapse in the compound and you had so little life in your eyes and I realised that without you I'd pretty much be empty-”

****

“Tony could you look at me and say it again?” I ask quietly, trying to breathe and failing. 

****

Tony shuffles until we're nose to nose. He smiles brighter than the sun in the distance and rests his warm hand on the side of my face gently. “I love you Dr Stephen Vincent Strange” he seems so happy to say it, so sure.

****

“I love you too Tony” it feels peaceful to get it out, to receive it back, to know that I'm Tony's and he's mine.

****

I place my shaking hands flat on his chest and drag them up to his shoulders, then his neck and leave them to rest around his head, fingers in his hair and thumbs pressed to cheeks. He's so beautiful I almost feel like crying. 

****

Just when I'm concerned I might have shocked Tony into eternal silence he speaks, “wow wait till everyone hears I bagged a wizard for the long run”

****

“call me that again and I'll reverse time and not tell you how I feel” I warn. Of course I'd never do that, I wouldn't trade the mystified look in Tony's gorgeous eyes for anything. 

****

“please, don't do that” he says softly, balling my jumper in his fists.

****

With the lightest movement I draw Tony close and kiss him. If feels like my chest is burning from the inside out, but in a great, exciting way. My brows draw in at the overwhelming feeling and I pull Tony as close as he can get. 

****

We sit where we are for a while, Tony leaning his shoulders on me as I have my arms wrapped around his torso. Both of us watch the sun start to set and the moments more magical than any real magic. It's just us and the sun and the sea.   

****

“Vincent is sexy” Tony says out of the blue, after about ten minutes of silence and the sounds of he waves. 

****

“how do you know my middle name? I don't know yours”

****

He snorts and I feel the vibration in my chest. “are you really asking me that? I'm Tony Stark”

****

I roll my eyes. “yea yea”

****

“I know how to use Google. You should learn sometime” 

****

“I'm too busy to research my man crushes sorry” I practically feel him glaring. 

****

“it's Edward. But I hate it. It sounds so proper, and soggy” 

****

Now that I think of it I haven't seen that name anywhere, not even in his biography. “soggy?” 

****

“you don't feel it?” 

****

Weirdly enough I see where he's coming from, “I guess I see what you mean. So Anthony Edward Stark huh? It works well together”

****

“well thanks so does your name”  

****

“I guess if you want to know someone's middle name you have to love them” I chuckle. It's bizarre it took us this long to know that about each other, or at least for me to know that about Tony.

****

“It comes with other perks” he argues. 

****

“like?” I raise a brow and absently start to run my fingers up and down Tony's ribs. 

****

“25% any SI product or service”

****

“I hate you”


	13. My Sin, My Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “what's your favourite colour?”  
> “You'll make fun of it”   
> “it's okay Stephen you're allowed to like rainbow sparkle, I believe it's Thor's favourite colour”   
> “it's the colour of your eyes”  
>  “are you kidding? That's the sappiest shit I've ever heard, not even Happy could be that sappy”   
>  “knew you'd make fun of it”
> 
> Then it all goes wrong.

Tony and I spend the next week working together. We follow a routine, wake up in a heap of blanket and limbs in the tower, head to Tony's lab, work until lunch, get take away and chat about this and that, continue working and fall back into bed at a late hour, sometimes in amorous and other times in passionate embrace. On this particular day I've returned from a visit to Wong and the sanctum to Tony sat on the floor with scattered paper surrounding him and a hologram hovering in front of him. He's scratching a paper aggressively with a pen, holding the lid between his teeth with sharp concentration in the set of his brow.

****

The sights’ entrancing, so much so I just watch to not break it. Tony stops scribbling to look up at the hologram of the box and makes an expanding motion, causing the blue cube to split and reveal its intricate inner components. He tips his head to the side inquisitively then makes a contracting gesture, continuing until his hands come together in a clap. The cube shrinks to a point but comes to an abrupt stop and the whole image turns red with an error message. Tony reads this and proceeds to open up the cube yet again, causing it to turn back to blue. He pinches one bridge shaped cable out of the mix of parts and tosses it into a virtual trash can. “when you're done ogling you can tell me how Wong's doing” he says, arching over to write messily on a new piece of paper. 

****

“Well, surprisingly. Usually he's upset when I'm away from the sanctum” I tell him, sitting cross legged facing Tony, a sea of papers between us. 

****

“yea well he was pretty cut up when you got attacked, he must be happy we're gonna get rid of the Skrull who did that to you” he starts to jot down numbers, writing rows and rows of equations like they're as easy as the alphabet, like my attack didn't have his wounds gushing all over the floor.

****

I rest my elbows on my knees and watch the device where it floats between us. “how's the cube going?”

****

“it's too God damn big. I just scrapped the stabilizer, It's too clunky. The problem is the replacement” he says distantly, opening a new holographic tab and scrolling through images of what I can assume are other types of stabilizer. 

****

“maybe it can do without?”

****

He taps the pen on his knee and sucks in through his teeth, and the pen lid. “at 150 decibels? I doubt it”

****

I lean back and feel my brows creep up. “150? I thought we settled on 100. 150 could burst eardrums”

****

Finally he spits out the lid and sounds more coherent, “ _ human _ eardrums, we’re dealing with an enhanced alien, I'm not taking any chances” He stops at one image, considering and reading it's properties before sighing and continuing to scroll. 

****

“what about our eardrums?”

****

“I thought of that, we can have our earpieces block anything above 100 decibels”

****

I nod, “well that's your area” 

****

“how are you doing with the hijack?” He asks me, referring to the system I've been working on to reverse a Skrulls modification to their frontal and temporal lobes when they shapeshift. The deafening sound is one thing, but it's main purpose is to overload the sensory centre so that the brain is susceptible to a hijack, if we can reverse the personality, speech and memories that come with shapeshifting it'll solve everything hopefully.

****

“almost done”

****

“great. We're so good”

****

I roll my eyes. “what do you want for lunch?” 

****

“not hungry” he says, dragging a hand down his face and resuming his scrolling.  

****

“you always say that before every meal but then eat it all” I point out.

****

He looks up at me with an arched brow, “because you'd drop kick me into another dimension if I didn't” 

****

“that is true. How about Chinese?” 

****

“sounds good” he grabs his phone and out of it extracts a menu from our usual place. It hovers in front of him and he pushes it toward me.

****

“hey I never asked who won the prize at the science fair” I say as I pick seaweed and prawn chow mein, my usual order, then make the same pushing motion Tony used to send the menu back to him.

****

“Flash” He says grudgingly, picking the same chow mein I did and the salt and pepper wings. 

****

“Shame, I liked Pete's project”  

****

“He wasn't looking to win, he just wanted to make something to help the world” Tony explains, checking out on the order and using a downward swipe to rid himself of the hologram. 

****

“he's really a good person isn't he?” that kid has a golden heart and I really do hope nothing cracks into it. It's a futile hope. 

****

“yea it makes me sick. I've got him a pitch to the military” He says, making a face like he's tasted something sour. The complete juxtaposition of his two sentences makes me smile. 

****

“you're just as good as him you know, you only pretend you're a horrible person” Tony likes to live up to his public persona, ‘arrogant rich playboy who created a murder bot and shouldn't be trusted with his suits’ and seems to ignore all the good he is and has done, Peter being a perfect example. 

****

He looks at me like I don't know what I'm talking about. “trust me I am a horrible person Stephen” 

****

“why? Name one thing?”

****

He seems stuck on what to say, exactly what I expected. “I just  _ am  _ okay, don't put me on the spot” He throws open more tabs, likely only to put more space between us. 

****

“yea you've done things that aren't great but you carry the guilt, meaning you know they weren't great and you hate that you did them” 

****

“why are we analysing my life?” He grumbles, tinkering with lists and buttons. 

****

I fan at the holograms and they all blow into nonexistence. Tony looks at me outraged. “I think it's important for you to know how good you actually are” 

****

“let's talk about you, what's your secret?” he leans forward, narrowing his eyes and lodging the pen between his teeth.

****

I frown, “what do you mean?” 

****

He pulls the pen from his mouth and holds it like a cigarette. “how are you so hot? is it a spell? lucky genes? Spill” 

****

I laugh at the seriousness of his questions. “Tony I'm not  _ hot _ ”

****

His jaw drops. “take that back right now” 

****

“Nope” the way I look was my greatest weakness when I was little, it was the source of all my torment, I learned from that that while I'm not an eyesore I'm certainly not attractive, especially not the way Tony is, by any stretch of the imagination.

****

“okay, hot can be shallow, how about gorgeous? Handsome? Beautiful?” 

****

“Stop it” 

****

“seriously you're the hottest man I know” He does look serious, and that's concerning. 

****

“Tony you know Barnes and Rogers and T’challa and  _ Thor. _ ” I could continue, and I could point out that Steve, Thor and Tony himself have been deemed the hottest men alive by the American public at some point in the past few years, but I let the names speak for themselves. 

****

“yea and you're sexyer than every one of them” he insists, grinning and tapping my nose like it's one of his screens.

****

“I think you might need actual glasses” 

****

“shut up and think about your behaviour while you get our food. It's on the kitchen counter” He says at a glance to the message on his phone screen.

****

While I stand Tony pulls up three panels of holograms and continues to work. I'm paralyzed for a minute by the blue light illuminating his face, showing off those big eyes and pretty lips. There's a unique beauty in watching him work, he lets his expression go unguarded, showing how eager he is to learn, how effortlessly he solves problems. And his hands always move with such good form, like two dancers both alike in talent.

****

“hey Tony”

****

He looks up and those rich brown eyes grab my soul. “Yea?”

****

“I love you”

****

He smiles and it grabs my heart. “Thank you” 

****

I open a small portal and reach for the bag of takeaway. When I realise what he said I drop it and if it wasn't for his quick catch our food would be toast. “ _ Thank you _ ?” 

****

Tony jerks his chin up in a neglecting fashion. “sorry I only love sexy Stephen, not this one” 

****

I squat, stepping on some papers to be closer to him. “okay alright I'll be sexy, really all I care about is that you approve of me, nothing more” 

****

He taps his chin dramatically “hmm I don't know if I believe you”

****

Very deliberately I lean close and bring my lips to his ear to whisper; “say it”

****

“that's not gonna make it believable” he breathes. 

****

I slowly lean back until we're face to face and take hold of his chin, angling him so we're lip to lip. “am I not being sexy right now?” 

****

“A little” he says in a small voice, staring deep into my eyes. 

****

“Hm I don't think I'm happy with that” I let my fingers drag down Tony's torso and dip them under his navy top. Tony's eyes turn from hazy to alert when I start to tickle him. 

****

“Stephen don't” he warns between breathy laughs. Eventually I have him on his back laughing and couldn't be happier to know he's ticklish. He tries to escape but I straddle him, forming a cage with my legs, and watch him in fits of laughter with a silly smile on my face.  Until he stops smiling and falls into an actual fit even when I stop. He heaves for air like a man almost drowned and dread rips at me. Before I can attempt mouth to mouth or CPR he holds out a hand and a red and gold inhaler forms from nanotech I'm his palm. He scrambles to stick it in his mouth and pumps, his desperate chest moving more slowly with new air.

****

Even when he's breathing normally and the inhaler is gone my heart beats loud enough I can hardly hear myself. “why didn't you tell me you have asthma?” 

****

“didn't think it would be relevant” he breathes, letting his head hit the floor and his arms spread out on either side of him, still making sure to take deep breaths. 

****

“if course it is! You scared me Tony” I have to grapple at my own chest for purchase. 

****

“Sorry, my original reactor shifted things in my chest and I have a lower than average lung capacity” He explains.

****

“shit” 

****

“yep. Let's eat” he sits up as if nothing happened and almost knocks his forehead against mine.

****

“are you really okay? I can run a check up, seems wise” I rest a hand on his neck and try not to make it too obvious I'm reading his pulse. It's elevated, but not to a dangerous level. 

****

He smiles intimately, resting both his hands on the sides of my face and looking at me like I'm a treasure chest full of sparkling gold. “I'm really okay Stephen, and I love you, so much” 

****

“next time just say that first” I huff, taking boxes out of the plastic bag and trying not to smile.

****

“sorry I like to tease you” he shoots me a cheeky grin when I pass him his food. I'd slap it off his face if it didn't suit him. 

****

“I know you do asshole”

****

* * *

 

****

By the same time the next day I’ve tossed Tony my hijack design, literally since apparently his holograms are limitless in what they can do and he’s been working on hardware for almost 2 hours. Hours which I use to meditate, well, I do so for the first, but by the second I have my astral form crawling out of my floating body. It seems illogical to be in the same room as Tony and have my eyes closed for so long. 

****

We’ve relocated from the lab to the workshop area and I float up to the table he’s sitting at. He’s wearing magnifying glasses that we used in surgery only he could look good in and he’s building the contents of the cube using hologram parts. It’s not the first time he’s done it, such small intricate work means that one mispositioning even by a millimetre renders it useless or dangerous. When I would have lost my patience he keeps working away, using tweezers to lay hologram microchips in the little box. I float through the table to loiter next to him, watching his careful hand place the chip in its place. He sighs when the system flags up a warning and takes another tweezer with his left hand. Something has him hesitating, he looks up at my body where it floats with crossed legs and hands poised as if he expects my eyes to open. When they don’t he continues, and I realise why he looked at me, because its slight, but his left hand shakes. 

****

I find I know so much about his body, yet so little. He has inner and outer scars I don’t know of from years of trauma. Maybe his hand was crushed, or it’s related to a heart condition I’m almost sure he's hiding from me. In an attempt to stop falling into a pit of crippling fear for Tony’s life I focus on his face, one of the few things that can make me forget all else. He arches over to do some intricate work and his tongue darts out to meet his bottom lip, twisting the more he concentrates. The urge to kiss him washes over me like the entire ocean and I want to dive into my body to march up to him and do just that, but this work is important, we’re on the clock, so I stamp it down and continue to watch. 

****

Once Tony’s put about three miniscule components in the box and it hasn't fallen apart he leans away from the table and draws his elbows back while arching his spine, letting out a groan. Everything I stamped on rises back up and I want to do more than kiss him.

****

Then a phone starts buzzing, which Tony manoeuvres out of his back pocket and answers when he sees its a video call from Rhodes. Rhodey's face appears on a floating hologram, he’s in the compound kitchen. “Hey dude where are you?” 

****

He shoves the magnifying glasses into his hair, I let my transparent fingers play amongst the strands and both men are completely oblivious to it. “The tower”

****

“Oh well your child is being annoying, come collect him” 

****

“Hey!” Peter voice calls, probably from the couches. 

****

“I’m very busy trying to save the world from Skrulls” He signals at all the workshop, his hand cutting through my stomach in the process. 

****

“Or are you canoodling with your man friend? Bruce told me he walked in on you two yesterday, he’s traumatised. The lab floor? Really?” Rhodey and I wince but Tony looks unfazed. Unfortunately for Bruce dining McDonalds turned into dining each other and he had to catch a glimpse of us sprawled over Tony’s papers on the metal floor.  

****

“Oh shush if you had a man that hot you’d do it in a supermarket during open hours” My heart leaps at his words. He knows I wouldn't be able to hear him in the throws of meditation so he’s really calling me attractive not just to make me feel better about myself. 

****

Rhodes sighs. “First of all only you would do that and second men aren't my alley” He isn't wrong. 

****

Tony shakes his head, “Well Stephen thought he was straight too, until his boss swept him off his feet and now he’s balls deep gay”

****

I almost break into the same plane as him to hit him over the head, maybe with a chair. 

****

Rhodey somehow looks even more fed up than he did before. “I hate when you speak” 

****

“I love you too Rhodey bear” 

****

Rhodes brings a glass of water to his lips, giving Tony a serious look over the rim. “How is everything with Stephen though? Good?”

****

“You ask me that every time we speak”

****

“You know I’m just worried. I don’t want him to be Steve 2.0”

****

“He isn't” Tony retorts. Even if I didn’t know myself I’d believe him, because I know letting love back in didn't come without struggle. I’ve heard him, most nights he has nightmares, in some he calls my name, not in love but fear, telling me to stop, or to come back. Though it hurts I understand. 

****

“We all thought Steve was perfect Tony” 

****

“And Stephen isn't, that's what makes him better. Except those cheekbones,  _ god _ ” he throws his head back and spins in his chair. I reach up to feel my cheeks curiously. 

****

“Not perfect huh? With the way you wax poetic about him I’m shocked” 

****

Wax poetic. Tony talks his best friends ear off about me. It warms me from heart to toes. Rhodey and Wong would get along. 

****

“I mean he’s not clean, or boringly upstanding and righteous. He’s gone through things, no one's ever understood and respected me like he has” Tony explains, slouching in his chair. It’s a mystery how anyone could not respect Tony, the way he smiles through the pain, his leadership, his love for Peter, saving the world from destruction, there’s so much to pick from.  

****

“Not even me? I’m offended” Rhodey jokes, smiling warmly underneath it all.

****

“Yea but you don’t have the awesome facial hair”

****

He frowns, “I’m sorry?”

****

“Stephen and I are awesome facial hair bros, I might start a facebook group” 

****

Rhodey and I both snort in unison.

****

“I remember when we were in MIT and you insisted on not having facial hair” he chuckles at the memory, putting his glass down. 

****

“That’s because I looked like a washed up rat when it grew, it wasn't majestic like now” Tony replies, stroking at his goatee. I can only shake my head and try not to smile. 

****

“Tony there are many words to describe you, majestic isn't one of them”

****

He throws his feet up on the only empty corner of the table. “Grossly handsome then? Maybe flawless?”

****

“Mr Rhodey what's 47x34.3?” Peter calls from off screen. 

****

“Where's your calculator?” He replies to the kid.

****

“1612.1” Tony says straight after. He’s so smart it’s stupidly attractive. 

****

“Thanks Mr Stark!”

****

Rhodes turns his attention back to the screen. “You're a robot”

****

“Robots good, I can take that compliment”

****

“Alright Robocod, I’ll leave you to it”

****

“Cod?”

****

“Yea, because you're a fish. Bye Tones” The hologram folds and Rhodey’s gone.

****

“Fish” Tony mumbles grudgingly, pulling his legs down and sliding back into his original position. “Honestly Stephen I can’t get anyone to take me seriously” He says over to my body. He stares awaiting a response and when he doesn’t get one he grabs an oat bar from the table behind him and lobs it at me, hitting my forehead, I feel it on my astral body and glare at his sniggering face, to no use of course. Instead I get close and prod a finger at his nostril, he sniffs and rubs his nose with the back of his palm and it brings me joy. 

  
Instead of getting back to work he looks over at me again and just watches for several seconds, then he smiles, the sentiment reaching the very core of his eyes, “I love you, you weirdo” 

 

I feel like I’m melting away, into a puddle to sink between the cracks in the floor.  “I love you so much more you fish” I tell him, knowing he won't hear, but having to get it out.  

****

Tony returns to his work and I decide to return to my body. I get about 20 minutes of meditation in before I'm completely broken out of it by a sudden force bowling me over. My eyes flicker open and meet Tony’s glimmering ones.

****

“I did it! The cube is done and Fridays manufacturing it as we speak” he tells me, squashing my knee the way he's messily sat on my lap.

****

I smile. “Well done Tony”

****

“now we can relax” he sighs, rolling off me and lying on the metal floor like it's grass under a clear sky. My knee thanks him. 

****

“relax? Shouldn't we be training?” I sit up, propped by one arm. 

****

He raises a brow at me. “to defeat a Skrull that can't shapeshift? That's a threat level lower than even Steve” 

****

I snort at that. “Steve's a low threat level?” of course he is, relative to people like Tony and I who could blast him to high hell pretty easily. He may be a super soldier but he has no power to speak of, and he even falls second to his less iconic friend with a metal arm and much more extensive training in most combat fields. 

****

He nods, closing his eyes, letting his generous lashes tease the skin under his eyes. “of course, you just nuke him in the face and it's bye bye America”

****

“have you thought about this?” I ask half jokingly. 

****

“I did when he was beating the shit out of me. But I couldn't do it” he explains, not opening his eyes. My skin prickles. 

****

“would you have if he tried to kill you?” I ask more seriously, wondering how far Tony would have gone for kindness, maybe love.

****

Tony stays silent and it goes on for so long I start to hear words unspoken, dark words, judging by the set of his mouth. “Let's go on a date” he finally says, opening his eyes and swinging his torso up. Some words need time to be spoken.

****

“You have anywhere in mind?” 

****

“upstairs” Tony takes me to the 93rd floor and past his bar with drink less shelves out to the balcony. Balcony is an understatement for the vast ledge of the Tower. This is the second time I've been here, the first where the sky has been a clear blue. I almost feel like I could touch it, play with the lonely passing clouds. 

****

Tony slips his hands into the pockets of his shorts and breathes deep. His shoulders lift and his features brighten. It's strange to see it when just above us his biggest fear ripped open the sky and threw down an army that changed the word forever. 

****

“did I ever tell you what my favourite colour is?” He asks me, looking up at the sky, but not straight up, where the wormhole was. 

****

“I always assumed it was red” Red is Tony's colour, the icon of Iron Man.

****

He smiles. “you would wouldn't you? It's blue though”

****

“any reason why?” the wind picks up for a moment and it almost takes my question with it. The way Tony's hair blows with it reminds me of the field in my happy place. I wonder what it's like now that Tony isn't an angel too high in the sky for me to reach, that he's flown down to hold my hand and lead me through joy.

****

“Because when I was in Afghanistan, deep within a cave with a car battery keeping me alive and the threat of being shot to death as soon as I'd outlived my usefulness the blue light of the first reactor we created was our hope, and then my saviour”

****

There's so many emotions I feel at hearing that, grief, sorrow, and relief, that Tony is Tony and he always makes it out of death. I also have a question, I wonder how we became me. But it comes back to me, the Yinsen Foundation. Tony started it to aid victims of war torn countries and those doctors and interpreters who tried to help, because Yinsen died in that cave. 

****

He was a brilliant man, I had the pleasure of meeting him twice, and no word he ever spoke was without wisdom. I recall tuning in to the inauguration of the foundation, Tony standing before press and audience far and wide. He only said one thing after the video presentation;  _ “Ho Yinsen deserved everything the world had to give. He didn't just save me, he showed me what it is to live” _

****

I remember watching him step off the stage, out of shot of the many cameras and thinking that was the first time Tony had shown an emotion I could touch, it was such raw pain. 

****

“that's profound. It should go in your new biography” I finally say, not knowing how to utter anything else without the weight of it crushing through us both. 

****

“Maybe. Friday put it in my notes” we hear a faint ‘yes sir’ from the inside of the Tower.  “what's your favourite colour?”

****

I'm stumped for a minute. It used to be black, I loved its power and elegance, but then the accident happened and it doesn't resonate quite the same. I watch Tony and consider, until I realise the most beautiful colour on this Earth is right before my eyes. “You'll make fun of it” 

****

“it's okay Stephen you're allowed to like rainbow sparkle, I believe it's Thor's favourite colour” the weird thing is that it seems accurate. 

****

I take a deep breath after laughing at Tony's comment, and let out my confession. “it's the colour of your eyes”

****

Tony's eyebrows fly up and into his hairline. “are you kidding? That's the sappiest shit I've ever heard, not even Happy could be that sappy” 

****

The wind starts to embed it's chill into me and I pull my navy sleeves to cover scarred knuckles. “knew you'd make fun of it”

****

He shakes his head apologetically and looks away from me in favour of the skyline. “browns a bit boring though isn't it?”

****

My face almost turns disgusted at the completely unfounded attack toward his own eyes, my favourite thing about Tony physically. “you're eyes aren't just  _ brown _ . They're dark whiskey doused in direct sunlight” they make me drunk like no alcohol ever has, they drip like honey and fall hot on my skin, they're freshly polished furniture in a beautiful new home, they're chocolate syrup with sunlight dancing off their surface. 

****

Tony's head snaps around to look at me and I realise I said the first part out loud. “Wow Steph, you should write that in your eulogy when I die”

****

“could you maybe not die?” my heart squeezes unsafely at the thought of attending a funeral where Tony's in the casket, pinecone eyes closed never to be open again.

****

He huffs a laugh and bumps our arms together. “I'm sorry to break it to you Doc I don't really have a choice” he smiles like someone that doesn't fear death in the slightest, like it's nothing. I guess I feel the same way about death myself, but Tony's different, Tony isn't nothing, he's everything.

****

“okay I'll just try my best to die before you” I decide. 

****

“you definitely won't and please don't try your best, try your worst”

****

I look out to the skyline and shake my head. “nope”

****

“You talk like you want to be with me till death do us part”

****

I pause for a second, then look over at his searching eyes. My first thought is that maybe he doesn't want to be with me that long, but something about his expression doesn't insinuate that at all. “Is that so wrong?” 

****

“You'll grow tired of me, I'll give you two years. Tops” he says, looking away. So that's what his expression was, uncertainty in himself. 

****

“I don't think that could ever happen Tony” I tell him. And I mean it. I couldn't go back to a life without Tony, I couldn't even go 24 hours without drowning the black oil of despair. 

****

Tony foregoes his pocket to slowly lace his fingers with mine, closing the whispering gap between our arms. “You just wait” he murmurs, a quiet sadness consuming him. 

****

I wonder how Tony's always so warm, how the heat creeps into my blood and I'm not cold anymore. “Do you mind if I come annoy you in hell when we both die?”

****

“Bold of you to assume we'll be on the same level of hell. You'll probably be in nice hell where everyone's a sex god and you get to hang out in lava hot tubs. I'll be in shit hell where it's so dark I can see my bare feet as I shovel coal into a giant furnace powering the flames of the underworld”

****

Tony would make a great modern Shakespeare and I'm almost sad he went into tech instead of literature, I'd read anything that poured from that beautiful mind. “I can come down and visit, maybe yell at you to work faster”

****

“actually I'm rethinking, I'd be Satan's bitch”

****

Laughter bursts from me, “I'm disturbed at how well I can picture that” I wonder why people don't find it more difficult to resist Tony, he has an allure unlike anything I've ever seen, just the way he looks and moves could bring me to my knees. 

****

“I'll be the fire in Lucifer's loins” He nods decisively.

****

“Tony there's never a good time to quote Lolita” I point out.  _ Light of my life, fire in my loins. My sin, my soul. _ If only the words weren't tainted by their context I would whisper them Tony every night. I hate Nabokov for being so brilliant.  

****

“Lana Del Rey would disagree”

****

“we're getting off topic, the point is it's always you. For me, It's always you” I tell him, making sure he sees the intent in my eyes. There's nothing else, just Tony Stark. 

****

Tony stares for a long time, and his eyes deepen like he's solving equations one after the other, until he relents, coming back to the moment and smiling like he finally accepts. He brings our hands to his mouth, kissing mine and leaving his lips there when he speaks; “You should really get in touch with Netflix, you'd blow all their rom com writers right out the water” He smirks against my damaged skin and I commit the sight of it to eternal memory.

****

It's broken when his phone starts to beep like a microwave at zero, different to the usual vibrating. Judging by how quickly Tony takes his phone out it must be a tone reserved for emergencies.

****

“Your house has visitors boss” Friday says from the devices speaker before launching a hologram video feed of two figures entering the damaged structure. One of them is undeniably a Skrull, and the other a woman. She has long strawberry blonde hair that flows like it's straight from a commercial and is kitted in a green bodysuit not unlike Natasha's with a matching headdress.

****

“who's she?” I ask him. 

****

He shuts off the hologram and tugs me back inside. “No clue. Friday run a search” 

****

“already doing so” 

****

“Call all available Avengers to the Quinjet. T minus 10” He rattles off, losing himself to the art of leadership. I'm more than happy to follow.

****

This time when I create a portal to the compound Tony assumes the lead, taking a decisive step into it with a set jaw and death grip on my hand. It's worth the pain. 

****

When we make it to the jet it's open, the ramp leading up to Natasha and Bucky discussing while Steve sits alone, seemingly thinking. Before we're close enough to be in earshot Tony uses the hands we still have clasped together to tug me back. I stumble and find myself looking into searing intensity. “It's always you too. For me, I mean, it's always you” he stumbles over the words but they roll over me like a soft, summers wind.

****

“I love you” I tell him, because that's all I feel in this very moment. 

****

He smiles and it makes the wind grow hotter, but it carries a sweet scent, like chocolate. “I love you too. Let's go” 

****

After us Rhodey and Peter step into the Quinjet and that's the wrap, Tony slides into the pilot's seat and flies us out of our hole in the wall, into a sky that seems greyer than it was only minutes ago.

****

“alright kids” Tony starts after switching to auto and striding out to the middle of the jet, an equal distance between us sat on either side of the jet, backs to it's walls. He double taps his housing unit and the glorious iron man suit builds up to his neck and down to his toes as he says his next words, “let's have a quick prep” He throws up from his wrist a hologram screen shot of the Skrull and woman. “this is what we're dealing with. Friday hasn't been able to identify her, she seems to be off all government and non government records in every country so we get to be pleasantly surprised” 

****

“you're too positive” Rhodey deadpans. 

****

“anyway the good thing is that they've taken it to my turf”

****

“it wasn't a good thing the last time things were taken to your turf” Steve points out. He may be right but I question the necessity of him opening his mouth.

****

Tony rolls his eyes, “yes yes Steve, It was a mess ‘till I swooped in and saved us all. Anyway the house is on a cliff so non flyers be careful of becoming fish food, try to make sure you're near a flyer at all times.” he points at Natasha, Steve, Peter and Bucky as he speaks. “in case of injury or general protection there's a staircase that leads to a secure lab, Friday will grant you all clearance won't you love?”

****

“yes boss” 

****

“there's a glaring issue we're missing here Tony. Why are they coming to us?” Natasha points out. I find I agree, It's very suspicious. 

****

“Your guess is as good as mine Nat” Tony says as he produces what looks like a necklace box out of thin air almost. Natasha and I share a look and I can feel l she's thinking the same thing as me; Tony doesn't care whether this is a trap. He's in fight or fight mode, and that could be a problem.

****

“here are your new communicators, put it behind your ear like usual” he offers the box to each of us and we take one of the small disks with a silver rim and blue dot in the centre, I know the design well. “they transmit inner monologue so don't get carried away thinking about Star Wars Pete”

****

“wait so we'll hear each other's thoughts?” Bucky frowns at the small disk, holding it between thumb and index.

****

“no only mental dialogue. So if you're thinking about peeing or why Nat's eyebrows have to be blonde we won't hear it” he winks at her when she gives him an incredibly icy stare.

****

“Another thing we need to talk about is this” Tony holds the little black cube the same way Barnes still holds his communicator so we can all see it. It's half the size of a ring box. “this cube should disarm the Skrulls ability to shapeshift. Our first goal is to attach this to the back of the Skrulls neck or head, it'll send a signal to his brain that'll reverse the shifting process. It'll also emit a high frequency sound so if you're not wearing your communicators your eardrums will burst and you'll never hear Thor's husky laugh again” that seems to convince Bucky to press the disk behind his ear. 

****

“that's it from me, anyone got any words for the congregation?” 

****

“yes” Steve says, “I just wanna say, for old times sake, we don't know what we’re up against, so if you die, walk it off” Peter looks shocked at his words but everyone else laughs, even Tony and I, there's something endlessly funny about the words and delivery. 

****

Within five minutes Tony's back in his chair and executing a beautiful tight loop the land right in front of his house, parking the jet like a car. We all unbuckle and make our way off the Quinjet. I manage to grab Tony's elbow before he steps off. “Seriously don't die”

****

Tony smiles and drapes his arms around my waist, pulling us chest to chest, his reactor digs into me the way it always does. “Stephen I never die” he tips his head up and presses a kiss to my lips so gentle yet it sets me in fire. I wish I could pick him up and press him against the wall of the jet and kiss him breathless. But we have a duty, so we move on, through Tony's smashed front entrance and into the vast living room. 

****

There stand the Skrull and woman, waiting. 

****

“Can I offer you a drink?” Tony asks. We naturally start to circle each other, sizing our opponents up until we've switched, the two intruders facing the cliff and us facing the entrance. The woman's hair seems to have its own breeze trapped in it. 

****

“That won't be necessary Mr Stark” the woman says, she has a velvet voice. 

****

“Who are you?” Rhodey asks, he's got his faceplate on now, very much ready for business. As he asks I bestow myself with my robes and cloak. It captures her attention and her eyes flicker down to the eye resting against my chest. She smiles.

****

“Sorcerer Supreme. I was hoping you would come”

****

“Who's asking?” she sounds like she's not from around here. 

****

“Amora the Enchantress, of Asgard” 

****

At her words I focus in on her aura, shifting my vision into the right spectrum for it. The woman shines bright green, bright enough to warrant squinting. Shit.

****

‘what is it Stephen?’ Tony's voice fills my head, it sounds slightly mechanic, we never could get it perfect. 

****

‘you all need to get out of here. This isn't just a street fight’ She's powerful, too powerful. 

****

“Your advanced technology won't help you sorcerer. I hear your thoughts. I'm flattered though, really” the silence between us all feels airless. 

****

“what do you want?” I snarl, stepping in front of everyone, ready to defend. 

****

She shrugs, “the time stone would be nice” 

****

“Never” with a quick gesture I form a barrier between the rest of the team and the three of us. The Skrull can wait, Amora is the threat.

****

“Strange what the hell!” Rhodey calls from behind his prison. I ignore him.

****

I have to think, the mirror dimension isn't any use, she'll know how to break it, or worse, control it, and I may know of her immense power but I don't know exactly what it contains, other than mind reading.

****

Before I can decide the Skrull starts forward, a handgun at the ready. I quickly teleport behind him and the bullet sparks against my barrier. Then I kick him square in the back, summon a blade and swing. He manages to dodge three attacks but I switch to a disk and manage to build up enough energy in it to blast the alien against my barrier, burning his skin to black as he screams. 

****

A stinging pain in my shoulder, and a force that blows me off my feet and hurtling into a pillar. After one alien comes another. The Enchantress blasts a green beam at me and I rapidly conjure up a shield as I try to stand, squinting at the blinding light and shaking to the core at her power. 

****

“I'm serious! Get the jet and leave!” I roar, slapping my spare hand on the pillar behind me to keep me from flying backwards.

****

“We can't leave you Mr Strange” Peter says. Of course he would say that. 

****

My shield starts to unravel at the edges, loose strings of orange enchantment blowing like cobwebs in a strong wind. I'm going to have to make another move. 

****

Before I can I distantly hear a repulsor and the beam stops. Tony, Sam and Rhodey have flown in through the front entrance, they must have gone out to the cliff and flown over the house. 

****

The Enchantress, who's now floating instead of standing on the floor, is showered by energy beams but they all hit an energy shield she's built around her like a bubble. She let's it drop to fire a beam at Sam and he goes crashing into my barrier. It shatters like glass and falls away to free the others. They won't leave, I should know that. 

****

Tony dives for the recovering Skrull and Peter swoops in for a kick attack, which is blocked by Amoras energy field. But rather than falling to the ground he's suspended in air, in front of her, with green energy flowing around him like a ribbon. A ribbon that begins to tighten and draws a yell from the kid as his muscles shift and strain. Tony's canon blasts at Amora as soon as he hears the sound but it can't penetrate her shield, nothing can.

****

Or maybe something can. I hear Wong, telling me it's wrong, that it'll drain me and stain my soul, but when Peter let's out an agonized sob barely audible over Tony's desperate screaming for help as he throws everything he has at her leaves no question; I summon energy from the dark dimension. 

****

When I whisper the cursed word, my fingers poised, my body starts to glow purple and a wind circles around the room. I feel the power surging into me, from tips of fingers to centre of heart. I feel more alert than I ever have, everything is so sharp. Amoras amused smile drops when she sees it.

****

The first thing I do is summon the hand of Hoggoth, usually a pale yellow, now purple, and have it pluck Peter out of the enchantresses hold and drop him through a portal into the compound. Once Its closed the boy is finally safe. 

****

“Stephen” Tony breathes through the comms, I find him staring, maybe in awe, maybe fear.

****

I summon the flames of the Faltine next, joining my hands and dousing the Enchantress with an onslaught of fire. It breaks her shield fairly easily and the force of the flames catapults her into the far wall, causing it to crack around her. It's disturbing that her screams bring a smile to my face.

****

To my dismay though her Asgardian endurance waits me out to the point I feel myself rapidly running out of energy and I've only burned holes in her clothes and red to her skin. She must sense the falter in energy and thrusts her hand out at me then closes her fist. 

****

I feel this sickening jerk that makes my head spin and when I open my eyes I'm staring at myself, countless amounts of data run past my field of vision, energy metres off the charts, vitals falling, targeting system looking for a hit.

****

Looking at myself I feel fear and awe, my eyes shine a blinding purple and my body glows brilliantly, my cloak dancing through a wind I've created. But my expression becomes confused and the purple fades, the fire fades. When I look down at my hands and see red metal, with blue circles in the centre of my palms, I realise I'm Tony. 

****

“Tony!” I call, and to that my head turns. We've swapped bodies. 

****

The Enchantress tries to blast the Stephen shaped Tony and the cloak yanks him out of the way, to my side.

****

“Friday please tell me this thing has a shield”

****

“yes sir” at her word a blue dome forms around us. It won't hold up long.

****

“Wow you're really healthy” Tony says, turning over his now scarred hands with long fingers. I frown at what he says but it all comes together when I notice a dull throb by my temple, and my left arm. I also find I can't breathe very deeply, Tony wasn't lying about his lung capacity, it feels like suffocating. I wonder how he lives. 

****

“anyway what were you thinking!?”

****

I find that just by willing it to the iron man helmet retracts into the neck of the suit. It feels so much less cramped without metal surrounding everything and endless data overloading my brain. “I can handle her” 

****

“even if you're a human flamethrower a team will always make you stronger” 

****

“or someone will die and it'll be your fault” I tell him over the sound of machine guns. His mouth, my mouth, closes and he stares, so profoundly.

****

Then there's a flash of white light and Tony's shield frazzles away, sending us both flying in opposite directions. I bowl into Rhodey and metal flatters against metal in his attempt to hold us both up. 

****

“am I tripping or did you and Stephen swap bodies?” 

****

“I am Stephen” it sounds strange coming out in Tony's voice. 

****

He freezes for a moment, digesting reality, and seems to go with it. “what's that like?” 

****

“shorter” I say. Really there's hardly a difference, the suit levels Tony and I out, but I can't tell Rhodey that Tony's arm seems to never stop aching, not when he hadn't even told me. 

****

Rhodey huffs a laugh. “must suck” once I can stand he let's me go and we turn around just in time for the two gunshots. 

****

I watch as bullets pierce my body, ripping a scream as Tony's clatters to knees.

****

The nauseous lurch hits me again. I'm on my knees, blood dripping on the floor. So much pain.

****

Bucky takes aim and shoots the Skrull square in the chest, I turn to watch him drop his gun, and when he hits the floor more than just his ears are bleeding. 

****

Pain pulls my focus back to my own wounds, two bullets through my left arm.

****

“Stephen!” Tony runs up to me and almost falls over skidding onto his knees.

****

“I'm fine” I tell him through gritted teeth, squeezing my arm. Blood leaks through the cracks in my fingers soon enough. 

****

“like hell you are” he says. The Enchantress is watching us, a devilish smile on her face. She's not holding up a shield or attacking or even floating, completely open. 

****

Then I realise everyone is suspended in time, except her, Tony and I. They're statues, Bucky's metal finger rests eternally on a trigger, Steve's shields on the brink of being thrown, Sam hangs mid air. 

****

Tony stands and heads for her, seemingly not noticing what I just have, only focused on Amora. He forms two blades extending from each of his arms and lunges to attack but she teleports, just behind him. 

****

My chest tightens in fear of what'll happen next. When Amora grabs Tony and kisses him I'm not quite sure how to feel.

****

Despite the sudden move Tony managed to bring his swords all the way up to her neck, but they stopped just shy of splitting her open. Instead his arms fall to his side's, blades retracting, and his whole body relaxes. She did something to him.

****

“be a darling and help me persuade Stephen” she tells him once she's stepped away, tapping her pointed nail on his bottom lip. Tony doesn't react. 

****

He does however slowly turn to face me and holds out a palm, the repulsor ring staring me right in the face. His eyes don't look the same, they look like pond water, a dulling mix of green and brown and grey. 

****

“would you be so kind as to give me the eye?” 

****

“No” I go to stand but I'm held back by a glowing ring around my wrists, keeping me anchored in place 

****

She tilts her head with a look of dismay. “You'd prefer your lover blast your face off?” 

****

I look Tony in the eyes, and for just a second, they go from empty to overflowing with raw terror. It's so quick I might have imagined it. I swallow. “yes”

****

“He's aware, inside himself, he will remember he killed you” she explains, crossing her arms and coming a few paces closer. 

****

The eye of Agamotto rests hot against my chest, if I use it I can bring everyone out of the pause they've been set on, I can save Tony from whatever might happen.

****

But I need both hands to use it. 

****

“He's gotten over far worse” I almost growl the words at a flash of pain from my arm when I flex the muscle. 

****

“you would die for a rock?” she and I both know the time stone is everything but a rock, it's one of the creators of the universe. She's just trying to belittle the sacrifice I'm willing to make.

****

“It's my duty to do whatever it takes for the time stone” I tell her, already feeling the effects of blood loss, and facing that this really might be the end of the line. I don't want it to be, not when I’ve just found happiness, not when I still have so much to learn about Tony, with Tony. But while I might be disappointing my oath to the sanctum, I could never break my oath to the time stone. 

****

She looks suddenly amused. “really? Whatever it takes?” She takes one look at Tony and his hand starts to move away. When his palm starts to approach his own chest and his armour retracts all but the gauntlet terror digs its claws into my heart. 

****

“No, please” it comes out as nothing but a whisper. Tears roll down my eyes as I try desperately to pull my hands free. Blood pours quicker onto the floor. “please!” the yell burns through my throat and shakes the floor in its pain, pain that doesn't come from my wound, but the claws shredding my heart to bloody ribbons. 

****

“you have five seconds” she says. I barely register her over the pain I feel  _ everywhere _ . I cut my palms with my nails desperately trying to break free of an impossible trap. 

****

It gives. Ever so slightly, burning my skin, but it gives. 

****

I put everything into it, everything I feel for Tony, everything I'd feel if he died, right in front of my eyes. My wrists burn and it hurts so much, it all hurts. I don't have any time, five seconds go so quickly when life is ending.

****

Tony's palm is pressed flat to his chest and his eyes look raw the way they did when he spoke about Yinsen, the way he did when I woke from 10 days of sleep. 

****

I scream. The flare of the repulsor triggering consumes Tony's chest. Everything stops. 

****

Everything stops because I've ripped my wrists free and activated the stone. More tears gush from my eyes at the pain, the sting in my arm and the scorch of my red wrists, at the relief that I saved Tony less than moments from death. 

****

It's all wrong, we have to go back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your friendly neighbourhood writer traumatises you once again!


	14. Anew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephen wears the new black suit and Thor looks at Bruce's big telescope. I don't know what else to tell you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to Anew, one of the members of the ironstrange hall of fame

We made mistakes, many, many mistakes. We brought Peter, we didn’t bring Thor, Tony didn't close his helmet, I wasn't strong enough, we forgot the Skrull, we went in blind.

I consider this while I float in the green ether of time, watching my memories like a movie screen, going back. Soon I reach the moment I vowed to never forget and pause. Tony, holding both our hands up, smiling against mine, his eyes and hair brightened by the light of the blue sky. I will remember, but he wont, this won't be his reality, because I have to change things further back than this. He won’t remember me telling him that it’s always him. Always.

I can tell him again. It’ll never stop being true, regardless of how much I bend our timeline. 

I reach an image of Tony catching the hologram I threw at him and stop again. This is it.

The feeling of floating in water vanishes so suddenly I stumble and my stomach lurches. I’m here now, in the towers lab, all after this moment erased to pave the way for new ones.

“You good old man?” Tony asks me with a smirk, integrating my work into his system and watching the loading bar that pops up. I watch his face, watch those eyes that don't know the grief they showed me moments before death, those eyes that are all beautiful smooth brown, no green polluting their waters.

“I seem to recall you’re the elder of us both” if I remember right I have around two hours to eliminate all the mistakes before they happen. 

“Thor’s over 1000 years old and he’s a beauty, I’m fine with being old” He points out.

I approach him and only stop when we’re almost nose to nose “Oh I'd never say you're not gorgeous, you definitely are”

“I know” Tony teases, his eyes awaiting my next move. 

My next move is to kiss him, kiss him slowly, curling my hands around the back of his neck and hip and savouring the taste of a man who’ll never kiss the woman that was his death, who won't come to death at all, not this time. 

“I love you” I whisper against his lips, smiling at the tickle of his mustache. 

“Stephen you’re going to give me heart problems” He breathes, reaching up to cup my face with a warm rough hand. I lean into it and close my eyes for a blissful moment of peace. Only a moment. 

“I have to go” it almost hurts to remove myself from his contact. 

He frowns, “Where?”

“The sanctum. Call me if anything comes up” I retrieve the sling ring from my pocket dimension and open a portal to the compound, around a corner in the lab where Tony can’t see my lie and ask questions. 

“What if your thing doesn't work?” he points at the almost loaded system. 

“It will” That's all I say before marching up to the portal, ready to change everything.

“Wait! I love you too!” Tony calls as I step through. It breaks a wide smile onto my face and my heart. 

In the compound common area sits Peter, surrounded by open books. He seems to miss the point of the seat, sitting with his back on the cushions and his legs over the back of the couch as he reads a red chemistry textbook. One of his Hulk socks has a hole at the heel.

“Hey Peter” The kid peers over his book at me and smiles. Rhodey isn't here yet. 

“Hi Mr Strange” He rests his book on the table behind him and rearranges himself to sit cross legged, draping his arms over the back of the chair. 

“I didn't get a PhD and an MD for you to call me Mr” I point out, realising I’ve let him call me that for way too long. 

“Mr Stark has three PhD’s and no one calls him doctor” he says, my brows fly up. He said something about one once but I didn’t imagine it would be three, on top of running a corporation, which he was doing from a surprisingly young age. 

“Three huh? I need to get reading” I make a contemplative expression, but really have no intention in doing something like that jut to level Tony. 

“No you're the one with the cooler powers and he’s the smarter one, don’t unbalance the scales” We both smile, knowing Tony would kick Peter for saying anything is cooler than him. 

“Thank you? Anyway I came to talk about something important with you” I school myself into a grave expression, coming closer to the couch. 

“Yea?” His big eyes watch me, ready to absorb. Perfect. 

“I’ve been detecting a bad aura in the city”

He’s silent for a second. Then, “Huh?”

“I think something bad might happen”

He upgrades to his knees, more of him showing over the back of the couch. “Like an invasion or my nearest Chipotle burning down?” 

“So close. I’m more thinking that crime rates might go up, petty villains, that kind of thing” When I say the words I realise I sound like the most obvious liar that ever lived. 

Peter however does not catch on to it. “Petty villains are enough to change the cities aura?” 

“No, you see, the aura influences the villains” I explain, wincing internally at this whole affair. 

Peters eyes widen and he nods. “Ohh that makes sense” 

“So I’m asking you if you could patrol, make sure nobody gets hurt”

He considers this, “Just me?”

“Yes, you're an Avenger Pete” I seem to have said the right thing because his eyes light up in determination. 

“Alright! Can I finish my assignment first though?” he asks more quietly. 

I peer at the alarming amount of books. “How long have you got left?”

“If I don't procrastinate, 40 minutes”

“Don't procrastinate”

“I’ll try”

I open a portal into the sanctum and begin to back up toward it. “Don't just try, lives are at stake” I wait for Peters decisive nod before spinning around and leaving the compound behind me. A part of me feels bad for lying, but the other listens to the sound of his screams as Amora crushes him and I’m okay with it.

The empty lobby of the sanctum brings stage to my next task. I produce my new Stark phone from my pocket and find Thor in the contacts list. The second I got added to the Avengers group chat my contacts doubled.

“Wizard!” Thor's jolly Asgardian voice blares into my ear. 

I have to sigh. I find I prefer Mr Strange. “Is that what you have me saved as?”

“Yes. How do you do?” 

“Well, thank you. Where are you?” As we speak I amble up to the stairs and sit on a step, leaning my side into the creaky banister.

“In an observatory, Bruce is showing me his telescope” The first place my mind goes to makes me snort. Unprofessional, but a funny innuendo is funnier when you know the author has no idea he’s making it. 

“Telescope huh?” I can't keep a smirk off my face. 

“Its huge!” I have to move the phone away from my ear and swallow the laughter threatening to burst out. A deep breath. I think I almost hear Bruce sighing and some of the laugh escapes through my nose.

“Are you alright? You sound ailed” he sounds so genuinely concerned I only want to laugh more. 

“I’m very fine. Look I don’t want to interrupt your… session, but is there any chance you could come to the compound in about two hours?”

“Is something the matter?”

I almost go for the aura lie. It wouldn't work on him. "You're needed for a meeting, one of the unofficial ones we do on the couches” 

“Should I bring Bruce?”

I take a moment to imagine how that would play out but the idea of Amora mind controlling the Hulk brings me to a very clear decision. “No. Listen, don’t tell him, but we’re planning a surprise birthday celebration for him. He can't be here” I have no clue when Bruce’s birthday is, and apparently neither does he because he doesn’t raise any objections.

“Alright I’ll see you soon Wizard”

“Bye Thor” I hang up the phone and smile at it. There's something wonderful about the cultural clash Thor brings to the table, he’s so weightless, so easy to laugh with and seems like he’d never fall out with anyone he decides to call a friend. 

With a huff I pull myself up and move on, the next task. The sanctum picks up on my intentions and blows a soft wind to lead me to Wong. My steps echo in the vast quiet building until I stop in front of the library door. Wongs inside, sat on the brown arm chair in the corner reading a book so thick I'm shocked he can hold it with only one hand, since the others busy holding a half eaten pop tart.

“Hello Stephen how's your work with Stark going?” he asks, still nose deep in the book. The man carries out most of his interactions that way. 

“good. I've finished my part and he'll be done soon” I take a deep breath to get out my next words, “Wong I think it's time for the suit”

He frowns “what sui- the suit?” he snaps his book shut and stares at me wide eyed.

I have to sigh. It's sad that this day has had to come. “yes the suit” 

“why? You said you'd never wear it” he magics the book back into its slot and takes a bite of the pop tart, waiting for my answer. 

“I'm being proud. I know really that it's better than the robes” I tell him. And unlike what I said to Peter and Thor it's actually true. The suit has all I need to make it though this time, and I'll sacrifice my dignity for that. 

“about time you came to. Shall we?” Wong gets up and leads the way out of the library. “So are you aiming to break it in?” he asks when we reach the stairs to the basement. 

“yes, it needs that” I concur. That thing isn't clothing, it's skin, and I don't know if it'll ever be comfortable. 

Once we're down the stairs we're faced with the furnace, an ever burning ember that exists to forge magical artifacts. Every sanctum has one. That's not what we're here for though, so we walk straight past it, feeling it's heat, and to a tube in the corner of the room, with the black and white costume floating within, held by its own magic. 

“I'm gonna have to go out in public in this” I groan to myself. Wong sniggers. 

“You're a fit young man, you'll be just fine” 

I ignore him, pressing my hand to the translucent yellow film encasing the thing. It gets warm under my palm, then turns to water, letting my fingers seep through. Wong and I created this a year ago, to push the capabilities of clothing, make technology from magic, turn me more powerful. Apparently power doesn't come with decency. 

The second my index touches the impenetrable black fabric my body shines a blinding yellow and just like that I'm wearing it. Looking down at myself, following from the white accent on my chest, down the white line on my torso, and further to everlasting black. It covers everything up to my neck, but it shows it all, every rise and fall that exists on my body. I long for my cloak to cover me. 

The eye isn't a necklace any more, instead it's embedded between my collar bones. That isn't the only gold I wear though, I also have an armband on my left bicep, forged from the heart of a dragon to provide me with endless stamina. It'll prove useful if the fight goes on for long. Further down the same arm a bangle clasps my wrist, gold with black squares printed on the top. At each end lies the same engraving our sling rings have. I don't need one with this, it takes away a sorcerers biggest issue, loosing their sling ring. 

The cloak must have heard my plea as it floats down into the room and straight to me, settling on my shoulders gently. It's gold clasps attach to the eye like they're attracted by magnetism and suddenly the cloak glows yellow too. I feel it growing, the collar becoming higher and the fabric coming to touch the floor rather than tease it constantly. 

“Didn't see that coming” I murmur, pinching the fabric to look at it's new gold border with swirling patterns embroidered in carefully. It's not only changed in appearance but the fabrics different, much thinner. 

“That cloak is never predictable. Do you have the scalpel?” I look down at the leather holster at my side and the small knife in it. The Ancient One gifted it to me. It looks like an unassuming little knife until it becomes a monster blade. It was never really my style but it's better than my mystical blades and will help me conserve power. 

“yep”

“how do you feel?” 

“like I'm wearing an empty body” I tell him, pulling at the crutch to rearrange things more comfortably. The fabric itself it fine, so smooth it feels like you're not even wearing it. For me, that's the problem. 

It also occurs to me that I couldn't wear this around Tony, if he does anything arousing it's all over at once. And he's good at that. Unfortunately I don't have a choice. “hey do we have any books on Asgardians?” I ask Wong when we make our way back up the dark stairwell to the ground floor of the sanctum. 

“I have one book detailing the adventures of Odin. It's in twelve volumes” 

“No more like Asgardian Sorcerers” I clarify, following Wong. 

He thinks for a moment. “well, I think there's something on Loki”

I give up on trying to lead him to it. “How about the Enchantress?” 

“Who?” he frowns as we walk into the small kitchen. The space just fits the two of us with no extra room. 

“Don't worry about it. Thor mentioned her once and I was curious” if Wong, the man who's read every scripture there is, doesn't know about her that means she's either very good at hiding or hasn't been around for very long. 

“maybe ask him about it again” he suggests while poking his nose around the fridge. 

“maybe I should” I lean my back against the counter behind me. There's no need to ask when he'll be telling us all about her in about an hour according to the time on the microwave. 

Wong decides on making toast and gets to it, dropping four bread slices in the toaster where it sits next to me. He side eyes me and smirks. 

“what?”

“you can't go back to your usual robes if you make an appearance in that you know”

My face falls. “why's that?” 

“because they look like they're from a cheap costume shop compared to this suit” he supplies, reaching behind my head for the raspberry jam.

“hey you wear robes too” 

“yes but mine are a neutral colour. You wear red and blue. You look like… an entertainer” he can't stop smiling and I cut my eyes at him for it. 

“are you saying you've thought I look like a clown all this time and you're only telling me now?” I cross my arms and raise a brow at him. The presence of the bangle is gonna take a while to get used to. 

His smile widens and turns almost devious. “Why do you think I came up with the idea of making a new costume?” 

Oh my god. “You… you- you're a terrible friend” 

“being a good one isn't my goal” he swallows the smile when the toast pops up and gets two plates. 

“I don't know who to trust anymore” I wail exaggeratedly. 

He huffs, smiling again. “Drama Queen” 

Wong offers me two slices of toast and we start to eat, each of us leaning on opposite counters. It's weird eating with hands covered by fabric but with a brush of the fingers all the crumbs fall away and any jam seems to slip right off like liquid. I've just taken my last bite when my phone vibrates. I reach for it in the leather pocket at the small of my back and open a message from Tony of a picture of black booty shorts with baby written on the back in the same font as his daddy t shirt, after it reads ‘I still owe you a gift from Montreal’

I snort at the idea and laboriously type back; ‘I am not wearing those Tony’

“talking to your husband are you?” Wong says, placing both our plates in the sink. 

“he should be working” he should be done any second. I wonder what happened in this time line to distract him into online shopping. 

“Imagine you, getting married” Wong shakes his head, a smile playing at his lips. I find it hard to imagine too, marriage isn't something I’ve ever thought about. 

“what? You don't think I would?” 

“you don't seem like the type to recite vows or go on a honeymoon at all” 

“I might surprise you” I shrug. And I hate Wong for steering my thoughts that way, to images of Tony wearing a gold band on his finger, us going on a honeymoon to some tropical land where we’re attacked by a mutant octopus trying to steal Tony’s floral shorts. 

“Maybe” 

“what about you though? You're not even dating” I say after a few seconds of silence. 

“not interested” he retorts immediately. 

“when you find that interesting person though you'll never be bored” I point out. 

“You're going out with Tony Stark, of course you'd never be bored” 

“I mean even in the moments where there's nothing you still find entertainment in their eyes, the way they look, their gestures, you know” I explain, smiling at the thought of Tony’s whiskey eyes, the way he walks like he’s dripping in fame, the expressiveness of his hands, his beautiful smile. 

Wong looks at me like he cant believe what he’s hearing. “Stephen who are you? You used to cripple at even the thought of talking about feelings” 

“maybe because they weren't so real, before” I shrug. Maybe if I had opened up about Christine I would have talked myself into realising it wasn't right. I wouldn't have wanted that, I liked being blind to the truth. 

“you two are so similar I'm surprised you worked out”

“So am I if I'm honest. We bounce off each other rather than clash I guess” 

Wong and I continue to chat and I’m sure to watch that microwave clock, anticipating Tony’s call. The minutes count down too fast and too slow, and in a moment yet an eternity my phone makes that obnoxious blaring sound Tony’s did in the past timeline. The phones iris recognition takes a moment to insure its me before Fridays voice sounds clear from its speaker; “Mr Stark calls you to the Quinjet. T minus 10”. A countdown automatically starts.

“What do you think it is?”

“Whatever it is we’re going to handle it” I tell him, marching out of the kitchen. He follows. “I’ll see you soon”

“Better be soon. I’m done with visiting you in hospital beds Stephen”

“Yes sir” I smile, thrusting my left arm out for a portal. Nothing happens. “You sure this can make portals?” I tap the bangle as if it’ll wake it up from a slumber.

“Definitely. You must be doing it wrong. Do the usual movement” I obey, with one arm held out and the other making a rotating gesture. Still nothing. “Switch hands” I do that too, nothing. 

“I should have tested this” I murmur to myself, shaking my wrist. 

Wong huffs at me, “Come here” he grabs my wrist while I’m still shaking it and the strip on my wrist twists. A pale yellow beam shoots out of my hand and almost burns Wongs nose off. Luckily the beam also pools into a portal above us. 

“There we go” I pat an angry Wong on the back and close that portal with a flick of the wrist to open one in front of me, twisting the bangle. 

“Have fun” Wong deadpans as I step through the portal, into the compounds hangar. A quick headcount shows me that everyone’s present except Thor. They’re all watching Tony zoom in on the overhead image of Amora so they don't notice me until the sole of what you could hardly call boots clang against the jets metal floor. Then everybody looks over and I quickly start to feel naked again. 

Everybody continues staring in deafening silence and Tony’s jaw almost falls off his face. “Where’s Thor?” I ask in a desperate attempt not to feel completely exposed. Nobody replies, caught up in staring and it just makes it worse. 

Finally Natasha lets out a long winded low whistle and I’m actually relieved at it for cutting the quiet. 

“How the hell did you bag him Tony?” Rhodey asks his friend, who's still utterly frozen, like his operating systems shut down. 

“I don't know but I’m about to cry” He wheezes after a long moment, his eyes trying to look at every part of me at once. His undivided attention is definitely the only aesthetic plus side of the suit. 

“Where is Thor seriously?” I randomly select Bucky to direct the question, applying more pressure for him to answer it. 

He shrugs. “Don't know”

“Is anyone gonna ask?” Steve says, looking at all his peers.

“Yes. What on earth happened to you? Did you go on a pilgrimage to upgrade your Pokémon cards?” Tony spews, not pausing for breath. 

“I had this in the basement and I figured it was time to, yes, upgrade” I explain, hoping it’ll give the prying eyes the closure they need.

“You've had this the whole time?” Tony looks offended. 

“Yes, can we move on?” I insist, desperate for it to be old news. 

Tony holds his temples and sighs like he’s digesting the meaning of life. “I don’t think I’ll ever get over this” he breathes. 

“We have a Skrull to bust” I look at everyone pointedly, trying to shift their enthusiasm. 

Tony finally snaps out of his trance. “Shit yea. Lets go” He turns for the control pad but I manage to grab his shoulder to stop him. He peers at my black clad hand and his gaze runs up my arm, neck, then face. I shiver under its weight. 

“Thors not here” it comes out in a breath, not what I intended. 

“Do we need him?” Bucky asks. 

“We are not leaving without Thor” I say each word slowly and concisely. If I can't manage this it’ll be up to him. 

“Wizard you flatter me” we all turn to Thor entering the jet dressed in his Asgardian armour, cape flowing behind him. 

“Where have you been?” I ask him with a frown. He had two hours to get here and he’s a literal god, he should defy time and space. 

He holds up a half eaten sub. “The man at the sandwich place said he would be quick. He lied”

“Okay Tony get the bird up lets go” I clap my hands twice to perk him up. He follows my order. 

“Your cape looks much better” Thor tells me, running his fingers over the embroidery at the tip of the cloaks collar, which now extend over my head rather than to my cheeks. 

“That's what you noticed first?” Natasha looks at him disbelievingly. 

“The embroidery is excellent. The collar looks much more magical too” He assesses, nodding to himself. The cloak caresses his hand and he smiles at it. I feel like I’m intruding. 

“Thank you Thor” It’s good to have at least one person not focusing on everything between the cloaks embrace. 

As soon as the belts light switches off I unfasten myself and stride up to Tony. He’s already in his suit this time, rather than transforming before the prep like in the other timeline. He’s sitting with his legs excessively spread apart and the set of his brow makes him look like he’s hiding discomfort. “Are you okay?” I worry it’s his lungs, or his arm, or his headache. 

“My dick hurts” He grumbles. I blink, not having expected that.

I take hold of the back of his chair and lean closer. It reminds me of the first time we rode this jet together. “In the walking into the corner of a table way or the testicular cancer way?”

“No in the my boyfriend just showed up looking like the hottest thing in the nine realms way. I’ve been hard since I saw you and the suit isn't doing me any favours” He takes one hand off the control wheel and drags his hand through his hair frustratedly. I find myself quite enjoying this reaction. 

“Take it off” I supply, wishing he could just take everything off. 

He looks up at me incredulously. “So the Avengers can see my dangerously close to a raging hard on semi? I’m good”

“You've seen me naked Tony” I smile, can't help it.

“You don't get it” He hisses, “It’s- shit. Shit, shit, shit” He bounces his foot, shifts a little in his seat, and takes a deep breath before looking up at me like a man worn down, “Can I just see one thing?” He reaches for my cloak and at my lack of objection pulls it backward. I realise pretty quickly he wants to get an oogle of my ass. “Oh my god” He breathes, voice going higher than I’ve ever heard it. He scrubs his face and I have to wonder if that hurts considering he’s wearing metal. “I'm going to die. My dicks gonna snap in half. I hate you” he rambles, more to himself than to me. 

I blink away the look in his eyes when he almost killed himself right in front of me. “Hey if you don't die maybe I can offer you something as an apology when we get back?” I tell him softly, my smile darkening in tandem with his eyes. 

“Yes. Yes. Yep” He nods vigorously. I chuckle and press my lips to his cheek. 

Then in a hit of mischievous inspiration I drag my lips to his ear and whisper from the depths of my vocal cords, “Alright Anthony would you be a good boy for me and start the brief?” I watch Tony’s fingers curl into a tight fist and smile wider. 

He unfastens himself from his chair, pushes autopilot, and takes the hand I’ve offered to help him up. “Alright baby” he replies with a pointed look, reminding me of my place even though he’s the one that looks like he’s just walked into a sauna scented with lust. 

“Okay kids,” He starts when we’re in the middle of the jet. I let go of his hand and drape my hands behind my back. “Let's have a quick prep” he reopens the hologram image, “This lovely lady, according to Friday is nowhere to be found on any official or unofficial database”

Immediately I look to Thor. He coughs mid chomp of his sandwich before his jaw hangs “Amora” 

Bingo.

Tony's brows raise. “You know her?”

“The Enchantress of Asgard. She only gained her power recently but it’s a considerable force. She’s very dangerous”

“Great” Rhodes rolls his eyes. 

“What more can you tell us Thor?” I ask him. He looks puzzled for a second at my smile. 

“Her skill set is vast; she can mind read, swap and control. She also can manipulate energy to shoot beams and create shields”

“Mind control? There's no point. We should turn back now while we still can” Bucky says, looking nervous, rightly so. 

“Actually she can only control the mind of a man she kisses, isn't that right?” I look to Thor. 

He frowns at me. “It is”

“So I’m safe?” Natasha asks.

“You are” He nods.

“This still sounds like its out of our reach” Rhodey interjects. 

“Hey now, it's not all bad news, at least we’re fighting on my turf” Tony points out, filling Pete's role as the unreasonably positive one. 

“it wasn't a good thing the last time things were taken to your turf” Steve points out, in the same unnecessary intonation as the first time.

Tony rolls his eyes again, “yes yes Steve, It was a mess ‘till I swooped in and saved us all. Anyway the mansion is on a cliff so non flyers be careful of becoming fish food, try to make sure you're near a flyer at all times.” predictably he points at Natasha, Steve and Bucky as he speaks. “in case of injury or general protection there's a staircase that leads to a secure lab, Friday will grant you all clearance won't you love?”

“yes boss”

“there's a glaring issue we're missing here Tony. Why are they coming to us?” Natasha points out, the question I was waiting for. 

“Your guess is as good as mine Nat” Tony says. This time when he produces the box of communicators the new angle helps me see that the nanoparticles on his side separate to give way to his pocket.

“here are your new communicators, put it behind your ear like usual” He starts to hand them out.

“They have a mental communication feature but it won't be any use today unfortunately” I add. 

“wait so we'll hear each other's thoughts?” Bucky frowns at the small disk, holding it between thumb and index in the same way.

“no only mental dialogue. So if you're thinking about peeing or why Nats eyebrows have to be blonde we won't hear it” he winks at her when she gives him an incredibly icy stare. It’s all so identical it's a little unsettling.

“Another thing we need to talk about is this” Tony holds the black cube. “this cube should disarm the Skrulls ability to shapeshift. Our first goal is to attach this to the back of the Skrulls neck or head, it'll send a signal to his brain that'll reverse the shifting process. It'll also emit a high frequency sound so if you're not wearing your communicators your eardrums will burst and you'll never hear Thor's husky laugh again” Bucky presses the disk behind his ear with the same spooked look. “that's it from me, anyone got any words from the congregation?”

I step forward, “The Enchantress is pretty much impenetrable to technology so all of you, except Thor and I, should focus on the Skrull. Don’t underestimate him, the species can survive a lot, make sure he’s unarmed and restrained. And if you end up in someone else's body just go with it. Also, and I cannot stress this enough, don't let her kiss you” They all look at me like I’ve grown wings. My orders might not make a lot of sense but as long as they're followed everything will go better than last times disaster.

Thor eyes me skeptically. “You know a lot about Amora wizard” I question to the ceiling whether he’s just forgotten my actual name.

“I read”

Steve clears his throat, "I just wanna say, this is going to be a challenge, so if you die, walk it off” it’s still funny the second time. 

“I wanna say something else,” I turn to see Tony raising his hand like he’s in a classroom, before inviting himself to continue, “You all better not mess up, the quicker we clean up the quicker I can slam Stephen against a wall and do unspeakable things to him” 

“Dude” Rhodey slams his head to the wall behind me and lets out a long groan. At the same time I give Tony a scolding look, swallowing my desiring smile. 

Soon Tony's back in his chair, executing the equally beautiful tight loop to land right in front of his house, parking the jet like a car. We all unbuckle and make our way off the Quinjet. I manage to grab Tony's elbow before he steps off. “Don't die” This time the words are tons heavier than they were the first time. I’ve watched it happen once and I’m never going to see it again. I won't let it ever get to that. 

Tony smiles and drapes his arms around my waist, pulling us chest to chest, his reactor digs into me, like it did, the way it always does. “Stephen I never die” he tips his head up and presses a kiss to my lips. It’s just as gentle and it sets me alright just as easily.

“It’s always you” I tell him when our lips part. I have to, it may not be the same as it was the first time but he has to know. 

“What?” His eyes search mine. He must see things in them, my fear of the future maybe, something I couldn't explain. 

“For me, It’s always you” his eyes soften at the words and it seems he understands; I love you, only you, and no one else, not now or ever. 

He smiles and the sight of it tastes like honey. “It’s always you for me too”

“Promise me something” I say, a silly smile on my face at his words. 

“Anything” In his eyes he looks like he means it, like he’d take a shot to the heart for me. It's perfect, yet terrifying. 

“Close your faceplate and don't open it until Amoras’ secured” 

He blinks, a confused smile adorning his pretty lips. "I expected something more romantic than that but okay”

“You guys done gushing? Lets go” Rhodey calls. I get one last kiss in before Tony covers his head with the armor. I wish I could get another kiss, and another, and be alone with him endlessly, but we have a duty, I have a duty, so we move on, through Tony's smashed front entrance and into the vast living room.

There stand the Skrull and Amora, waiting.

“Can I offer you a drink?” Tony asks. We circle each other again, the two intruders facing the cliff and us facing the entrance. First she spots me, smiling that same hungry smile at the eye. But when she sees Thor all amusement drops from her features.

“Hello Amora” He waves and smiles. It isn't friendly like usual. “When will you finally give up on the stones?”

“Don’t I deserve at least one?” she bats her long lashes at him. He looks thoroughly unimpressed. 

“I don't think so” I cut in, summoning two disks around my hands. The suit filters my magic through a slightly different dimension than usual so rather than fiery orange its a pale, ethereal yellow. When I toss the disks at her she grabs them with her bare hands and they shatter.

“Try again” She smirks. The Skrull pulls out his gun and Steve and Tony are ready for him, swooping in to attack. I trust them to deal with it and focus on Amora, assembling two large circles and activating a beam through them. The beam hits Amoras shield and she looks quite smug about it, until Thor sticks his hammer in my beam. It turns purple and soon a gaping crack appears in her protection. She dodges out of the way of the attack but Thor and I don't waste time in pursuing, both of us flying. Thor swings his hammer at her a few times and she's good at avoiding it but it therefore takes all her focus, not giving her enough time to react when I descend upon her and drive an elbow right into her nose. She screams and I float away smiling. 

“How dare you ruin my beautiful face” Her Emerald eyes cut through me in their anger as she holds her nose, her fingers staining with blood from split skin on the bridge. 

“I’ve met more beautiful people than you” I tell her, taking a second to look for Tony behind my shoulder. He’s in a struggle with the Skrull. 

That seems to set her off and she lunges at me. With a twist of the bangle I open a portal between us and drop her right in front of Thor, whos perfectly lined up when he drives his hammer into her stomach and sends her flying into a pillar. I expect her to crumple to the ground at the force of it, instead she holds her stomach and fires a beam at the closest person. Bucky. He’s catapulted out of the house toward the cliff edge. Shit. 

I take off after him and find the cloak travels at a much higher maximum speed than it used to. Regardless, by the time I grab hold of his wrist my chest slams into the ground and he’s dangling over the edge, above raging waters. Luckily he’s strong enough to pull himself up with my help, grabbing the dirt with his real hand and hauling himself up.

“Thank you Stephen” We exchange a smile and help each other up using our clasped wrists. When I let go Bucky's eyes widen and I’m hit in the back by an earth shatteringly strong force. 

Then everything's loud, so loud, and I’m covered by water, it burns my eyes and fights its way down my throat. I must have blacked out during the fall and came to when I hit the water. My cloak doesn't help me, instead its collar blinds me when I struggle and its body restricts my arms, something must have happened to it. Quickly I recognise I’m starting to drown, my lungs ache and when I claw above me there’s no oxygen to be grabbed. 

Just when I panickedly take hold of my bangle there's a loud sound above me and the oceans lit up with blue light. When my throbbing eyes recognise the iron man faceplate I know I’m safe. Tony seizes my waist with one arm and propels out of the water, his speed doesn't help the clogging in my throat. I’m put down against solid ground and fall to my hands and knees immediately, coughing up harsh saltwater. It seems to never end. My throat and lungs twist in agony. 

When it finally stops I stare at the floor between my hands, heaving breaths like each will be my last. The light brown slabs have turned a darker shade by the puddle of water around me. Then I realise Tony's been kneeling next to me the whole time, a hand on my back. “Are you gonna be okay?” He sounds soft, yet stressed. 

“I am. I have to go back” I stand, ignoring the screams from my lungs.

“Thors doing just fine. I think you should go to Wong” He places his hand on the small of my back. 

“I’m not leaving” I breathe, looking at him sternly. I can feel my condition improving my the second and glance down at my armband, it must be restoring me. 

“Your eyes are bright red Stephen” and they hurt like hell at every blink or even caress of wind but that's something I can live with. 

“No. If I leave, and something happens to you, I… I can't do that”

“Nothing's going to happen to me” I imagine his confused smile behind gold metal. 

The image of his hand against his chest burns my eyes even further. “I have nightmares too Tony” At that I march back into battle, tugging at the cloak to see if it responds. It tugs back. 

When I walk into the house I’m faced with Thor and the rest attacking Amora together. By the state of her clothes I can see she's’ been hit by lightning and some sharp objects, she's still going strong though. The Skrulls unconscious in a corner. With a battle cry Thor leaps off the ground, hammer above head. Amora sticks her arm out at him and the hammer weighs him down to the ground so fast he hits his head on the concrete. Bucky, who’s standing nearest to me, looks down at his hands. “By god's” he says. She switched them. 

Unfortunately I don't know any counter spells and I do know that for me and Tony it took bullets so I’ve lost Thor. It's up to me. 

With the god out of the way she manages to decommission everybody, leaving them groaning on the floor and scattered. Only Tony and I remain. “Time to up our game” I murmur mostly to myself, casting a shield on one arm and taking out my scalpel knife with the other.

“I love you very much Steph but I gotta say a fruit knife won't help us” He says, coming to stand next to me. I stare at him and smirk, not breaking eye contact, my fingers run along the engraving of the blade and it lurches and grows past a metre and a half. The things as long as my body and I appreciate magic for allowing it not to change in weight. 

A blast comes our way and I throw my shield up to protect us as Bucky, or Thor, yells to us. “She cannot use her power when her wrists are bound!”

“He could have told us that before” Tony huffs. Then he flies above the shield and beam to kick Amora square in the chest. She disengages and focuses on him. He forms his shield and stays on defensive, dodging and blocking. I realise it’s an opening for me and take Tony’s gift, flying to them. I’m almost caught by a beam but deflect it with my sword, then using it to slice straight through her shield and into her leg. It’s the perfect time to cast my crimson bonds. I manage to wind one around her wrist and yank, pulling her straight to the ground. She swings at me and I’m too slow, her nail cuts the skin on the side of my face. I am fast enough to grab that wrist though, and wind crimson magic around it, pulling both her wrists together through a vicious struggle. Her power should be no more.

“Game over Amora” I smile at her, happy I’ve fixed this, happy he isn't going to die. 

She smirks. “Game over Sorcerer” I frown, but that clears to terror when she lurches for me and I realise she’s trying to push our lips together. I was so caught up making sure she didn't kiss Tony I didn't even consider it could happen to me. But at the last second cold metal wraps over my mouth and she ends up smashing her teeth against a red gauntlet.

“Hell no you are not kissing my man” Tony says, his hand then turning into a mallet and knocking the stars out of her. 

Everything after seems slow. The Avengers recover, I portal the Skrull where Tony tells me to, Thor disappears in a beacon of rainbow light with the promise to lock the Enchantress up in Asgard, and after Tony and I see him off we turn to the blue sky. The waves sound a lot gentler than they did when I was lost in them. My clothes, thanks to magic fabric have dried but my wet hair threatening to poke my eyes reminds me of it.

Tony retracts his armour and even though it hurts the cut on my face I can't help but grin because he’s alive. And he’s beautiful. “You're awfully happy considering your face is bleeding and you almost drowned” 

“I’ve never felt better” I tell him, side stepping so we’re shoulder to shoulder, so I feel his warmth spill into me. 

Tony raises his brow “Is that so?” He glances at his phone to read a text from Fury saying the Skrull leader has arrived on earth hand that they’ll take the matter off our hands, then pockets it to focus his attention on me.

“I’m with you” I tell him, still grinning like a lovesick fool. He huffs a laugh, shaking his head. He thinks I’m being a sap, I know it. And I am being one, but I plan to love Tony with every inch of my heart, every hair on my body, every pump of my blood. Not only because i know what it's like to lose him, but because there’s nothing better than having him, and I want to have him to the fullest. 

For a few moments we don't speak, just listen to the ocean and look out to the clear sky. Tony exhales and smiles the same way he did at the tower, when we looked to a similar sky. He might take me home and slam me against the wall, he might whisper unspeakable things in my ear and then carry them out, he might show me how much he loves me with every touch of his fingers on my skin but none of that could live up to this very moment, the very image of the sun diffusing into his fluffy hair, dusting on his lips and cheeks, shining in his eyes. Nothing could live up to the tranquillity in those deep rich orbs and the blinding beauty of that smile.

“Did I ever tell you what my favourite colour is?”

“It’s blue”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's it! Epilogue next then Becoming will be finished. I've had the best time writing this


	15. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strap in for a fun fluffy epilogue filled to the brim with (way too many) references, flashbacks, speeches, love and ghosts of the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried out the jumping back and forth timeline narrative, I've wanted to for a while, hope its not too wild x

**4 years later**

 

A year ago today I proposed to Tony. We had just moved in to his Malibu house, once the refurbishment was finished. The first two years we dated we were okay with bouncing between the tower, sanctum and compound but we grew to find home in each other and felt we needed to cultivate those feelings in our own space. Of course I'd still have to spend a lot of time at the sanctum and he couldn't ever put his feet up but there was nothing better than coming to the place I quickly started to see as a home to just exist with Tony, eating with him, lounging around, watching movies, watching him work. It's our world.  

And so, since I look the knee, we decided I should be the one to stand at the altar and he should be the one to walk down the aisle. We did a lot of research on the wedding process since neither of us knew anything about it, and typically I'm to walk behind parents and grandparents but in front of the officiant, wedding party and the flower girl. But there's no one in front of me when I walk past everybody taking their seats, and when we're all in place it's just a nerve racking wait for Tony to emerge from within the temple. 

 

* * *

 

It's incredible” I tell Tony, looking up at the brilliant rounded architecture of the Malibu mansion as it gleams under the sun, fresh out of the box. We take a moment just to look at the building, accompanied only by each other and the sounds of the ocean behind us and the moving truck pulling away to search for new ventures. 

I chew at my bottom lip wondering if now is the time. The box in my pocket burns like hot coal and weighs an elephant. 

“Are you sure about the jungle gym?” Tony says, cutting the peace. 

“Positive. We are not building one” I cross my arms and push the thought back just one more time. This is the perfect moment, we've just moved in together, we're standing on the broken circular slab before the cliff where Tony realised he could never give Iron man up, where we learned eachothers middle names, where he told me loved me. 

“Peter would love it!” he argues in shallow frustration. 

I give him a funny look, wondering if he knows Peter at all. “He's 18 Tony. Not 6”

“this space is prime for a pop up park though” he argues, gesturing at the untouched yet broken floor beneath us. We both felt that this should be our reminder of the past, that it's shouldn't be dug up and trashed to be replaced by something shiny and new. 

“No it's prime to stay as it is” Peter will find fun somewhere else, like Tony's workshop downstairs. About 10 months ago the snap got Tony give in to and arranged with Peter and May to become the boys second legal guardian, as he likes to call it. We call him father. Tony's argument to denying the title was that if he was Peter's dad he couldn't score with his hot Aunt. Peter, Happy and I weren't happy about the comment. But he isn't all snark and quips and cold heart, in the privacy of my bed at the sanctum I asked him why become a legal guardian to somebody who was on the brink of legal adulthood and he simply told me that no one deserves to inherit his life's work more than Peter. 

“is that because you want it to be exactly the same as it was when I first told you I loved you?” Tony wiggles his brows, smiling broadly. After three years you'd think you'd get used to someone but Tony's beauty still pummels me in the chest like Thor's hit me with Stormbreaker. 

“yes” I say taking Tony's hands and turning him to face me completely. It's now. Now is the time. “and I want it to be exactly the same as the time I asked you to spend the rest of your life with me” 

He frowns. “what?” when I let go of his hands and lower myself to one knee his expression does quick work of becoming shocked instead. 

“Tony. Will you spend the rest of your life with me?” each word burns the lining of my stomach. I mean them all with my entire heart but they're terrifying, exciting, dangerous, make or break. I dig for the ring box and flick it open before holding it before him. The reaction I see isn't positive or negative, it's a man who looks like he can't breathe and doesn't recall how to blink.

Time stretches, and stretches, until he breathes out a word. It's so quiet I almost don't hear it, his lips almost don't move. But it's a yes. “Yes Stephen” He breathes louder. His legs seem to crumble beneath him and he falls to his knees before throwing his arms around me and hugging me till my bones click. I can feel his hands shaking against my back.

“come on let me put this on” I tell him softly, feeling fireworks dance within me as we lean away from each other. He said yes. 

The ring is a polished silver, with a bright blue line running around its centre. It's one of a kind in a way one of a kinds have never been. It was a collaborative project between Thor, Carol and I. He knew where to go to get a metal forged by the energy of a dying star and at his offer I'd be a fool to say no. Carol’s visited many planets, and she took me to one that mined a blue stone, known to be the bluest blue in the universe. Tony told me what blue meant to him so I always knew I wanted to incorporate the colour to the ring but again, she offered and I jumped at it.

“oh Stephen” water gathers in the corners of Tony's eyes as he plucks the ring out and observes it in the light. The crystals so blue it looks like it's glowing. 

The truth is not just Thor and Carol knew about my plans to propose, everybody does. It started with Rhodey and Pete, who I sat down in the sanctum and essentially asked permission to do this. Tony loves them both, wholeheartedly, and if they had any objections to this I wanted to know, because their problem is Tony's problem and Tony's problem is my problem, and I told them so. Rhodes smiled and gave me one nod. Peter spilled his OJ all over the carpet in his excitement and rattled wedding plans at the speed of light. And of course he couldn't keep it to himself so all the Avengers found out.

I gently take the ring from Tony with one hand and hold his hand with the other, slipping the band on his fourth finger.  It's perfect, the silver appeals to his mechanic side and the blue to his science, to the small device that saved his life and created iron man. 

“This is beautiful” he breathes, holding his hand up and acclimatising to the look of it with a decoration. It looks much better. “The wedding rings are on me”

He doesn't stop looking at his hand for at least a month.

 

* * *

 

 

“You look like you're defocating bricks” Wong murmurs to me. He walked behind me to the altar as he's the officiate of the wedding. Tony and I are convinced he jumped to the opportunity for an excuse not to wear a suit, instead wearing flowing burgundy robes with a high neck and wide sleeves. 

“As a matter of fact I am” I hiss back at him. Further along Rhodey, the best man, grins and gives me a thumbs up. It doesn't help the twisting I'm my stomach. We planned so much, I want this so much, but I'm still afraid to see Tony because I know he's beauty itself, I know he's going to be the death of me.

The music gets a little louder and, filling the Kamar Taj courtyard, and from the dark entryway ahead emerges DUM-E. The stairs almost cause his demise but he makes it down with only a little beep of complaint. He's carrying a host of orange flowers, -as per my request- in his little claw and the white flower crown Shuri made him is now lopsided from his stumble. At first I didn't understand why Tony talked about the robot like a long time friend rather than what he was, but then I met him and fell for his charming idiocy, especially his interactions with Tony, which mostly involved creative threats of termination, I came to love him. I watch with a smile the way he slowly zips forward, rotating his claw from left to right so a couple of flowers fall out onto the red carpet Tony insisted upon. 

DUM-E’s a distant memory when Tony emerges. He's arm in arm with Peter, the brilliant white of his suit standing out against the boys black. He looks like an angel, like a prince, like a god, like the man I love above everything else. He looks so happy, so bright that he's glowing, I'm sure of it. I don't ever want took at anything else. 

Soon he and Peter get to the altar and up close he's even more devastatingly stunning, so much so my brows draw in and I feel like I might cry in appreciation, in thanks, that it's me who gets him. 

Peter squeezes Tony's hand before leading it into mine. For a moment all three of our hands touch and I feel family. Peter smiles at me and steps off to stand beside the only ‘bridesmaid’, Natasha. As far as I care it's just him and me, holding each others hands like we did the moment before I proposed. I even miss Wong's words of welcoming to all the guests, but manage to tune in to his speech.

“Marriage is a foolish concept,” he starts. Tony and I shoot each other worried looks and I regret not pressing him harder to see his speech, “it has no effect on the love between two people, only exists for validation and image. But for people like Tony and Stephen, with a love so  _ vivid- _ ” the pause he takes to glance at me is so small but I catch it, knowing he's jabbing for us breaking a bookcase in the library, for being woken by the sounds of us in the throes of pleasure. But by his smile afterward I think that he might be recalling the way I speak about Tony, the way he's awoken the happiness asleep deep within me. “-Marriage seems like nature, like a way to build a casing over the roaring flames of their love” I find myself staring at Wong while he addresses us all and see that he really can see, he really does believe in us.

“When I was preparing this introduction I asked Stephen what he had to thank for meeting Tony. He simply told me it was a tomato” I have to burst out laughing at his delivery, and it gets laughs out of everyone else too, even though frowns come with them. Except Christine, I catch her sitting between Thor and Helen Cho with an expression clear and a smile wide. 

“Stephens cloak was actually thoughtful enough to bring one” he points at my cloak where it sits at the front between DUM-E and Groot. Indeed it's holding a tomato. I laugh more and realise it's the only object I'll love more than DUM-E. It's always had my back and it's a pure soul. 

“I asked Tony the same question and he told me Stephen charmed him through his writing. Apparently he's actually funny and subtly embedded many great jokes in his research papers, which made him not only be impressed by his intelligence but his charismatic spark.” Tony had never told me that and when I look to him he squeezes my hands, smiling without a single wall between it and I. “So, I wish that in your marriage you have many tomatoes in your fruit basket and you keep making each other laugh with your unique and compatible knowledge” we both thank him, me with words and Tony with gesture. “Now, would anyone like to share a few words before we move on to the vows?” 

Natasha's the first volunteer, coming forward in her beautiful orange square scooped dress. It covers up to her knees and hugs her wonderfully. “I just want to say, I met Tony when he was in a dark place and I saw him struggle to find something to hold on to, to keep him going. Stephen, of all the things Tony's grabbed on to, you're the one that'll keep him afloat, that was always destined to. Thank you Tony, for being strong, and thank you Stephen, for loving Tony like he deserves” she finishes, looking to us instead of the guests. Tony ropes her in for a hug and I'm pulled into it too. 

When she returns to her spot Peter replaces her, “Um hi, thank you for coming, I just wanna say this is one of the happiest days of my life, and not just because Elon Musk and Oprah are here.”

I first met Elon three years ago. Of course I figured he and Tony would be friends, they're close competitors and are often paired as true futurists of this world. What I didn't expect when he came over to the compound shortly after we returned from our one year anniversary in India is that he and Tony would get along so well. For the first half hour the three of us sat around on the couches they spoke about science, about Space X and nanotech. I was happy to listen, Elon's plans for Mars are very interesting and I could watch for years how bright Tony gets when he speaks about those things. After that they slipped into casual chatter and jokes about all things from drowned dears to crazy MIT stories. Elon is one of those friends Tony doesn't speak to or meet up with often for the obvious reasons that they’re busy but when they do unite they are quite literally two peas in a pod. 

Oprah however is a much deeper story.

 

* * *

  
  


“So who are you taking suit shopping?” I ask Tony while we sit on the floor in the living room of his house with the guestlist of the wedding on a Starkpad between us. We’ve covered all of our mutual friends, those who must come, like the Avengers, Guardians and other strays such as Carol and Nick. After that we moved on to our respective friends. I only had Wong and Christine to add to the list so its over to Tony. 

“Shuri, Peter and Natasha” He says, typing Tom Cruise's name before considering and deleting it. It brings about many questions. 

“Oh?” It’s an interesting line-up, I had thought he’d take Rhodey at least. 

“Yea well Natasha and Shuri know a hell of a lot about looking good and the latter asked if we could bring Pete along. What about you?” He scratches under the top of his black socks. They read ‘I am Iron Man’ in white block. I’m sad to say it's not the only thing he owns with the phrase on it. As a whole I can't complain about his outfit, he’s wearing one of my plain white t shirts that falls loose on him and denim shorts extending half way down his things with frays at the hem. They make his ass look glorious, more so than it always is. 

“Christine of course. I like Peter and Shuri's relationship” I reply. 

“It’s great isn't it? She’s taught him, and me to be honest, so much. And they cant stop laughing about their young person references” He rolls his eyes but the fond smiles there, he approves of his sons new playmate. “Do you think Oprah could make it?”

I stare at him until he frowns like something's up with me. “I'm sorry what?” Maybe I misheard. 

“I’m obviously going to invite her but it’d suck if she’s too busy to come” He leans back to the pad and types her name in with his lip between his teeth. I’d stop longer to admire if it wasn't for the endless questions careering through my head. 

“Why and how do you know Oprah?” 

“I haven't told you? Well back when my parents died and I was tasked with becoming the CEO of SI everybody wanted to take me down, because I had a drug and drinking problem and was arrested once for drunk driving. The death of my parents changed me though, I wanted to stop with the drugs and put my past behind me. People didn't see that, they just saw me as a sure fire way for SI to fail, all the media was against me, except her. She believed that I shouldn't be defined by those things and instead should be helped. She was the only one willing to give me a voice to assure that I planned to change and she even helped me a lot with giving up the drugs. I owe her a lot”   

Oprah got back a week later and said she would make it to the ceremony.

 

* * *

 

 

“It’s not just that,” Peter continues, “Mr Stark has given me so much. Yes when we first met it’s because you needed a favour but after that you could have forgotten me, yet you didn't, you’ve been helping May and I so much and I’ve learned more than I could wish from you. I look up to you and you're like a father to me, no, you are a father to me. I love you” After that I wonder if anyone in the room isn't crying. My smile wobbles and Peter wells up and a tear runs down Tony’s caramel skin. Peter takes hold of his shoulder comfortingly before continuing, “And Stephen, well he’s awesome. I wouldn't want to see Mr Stark with anybody else. He’s kind, and fun, and smart, and perfect for him”  

Tony and I practically ambush Peter into another hug, this one much more charged with emotion and accompanied by a melody of sniffles. 

"Alright I think that's a good closing speech. If anybody else would like to say some words please do at the reception,” Wong instructs, he looks a little glassy too. “Now it’s time for the exchange of vows, promises for the long journey ahead. Who would like to go first?” I nod to Wong as soon as he asks and find I’m excited to share the promises I accumulated and curated for months. 

We decided to take to the religious flare a little and have the same opening statement, so I start with that; “I, Stephen Strange, take you Tony Stark to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.” The rest is in my hands, “I vow always to protect you, even though you don't need it. I promise to always see you as the most valuable thing in my life, because you mean everything. And you can always trust me, I’ll never let you down. I vow to make sure Peter always does his homework when you're not around to tell him to. I won't go on any suicide missions without consulting you first. I swear to never give up an infinity stone for you again, unless I have to. I won't lie to you. I’ll always be there, for anything. I’ll try not to make anymore short jokes and most importantly I promise that it’ll always be you, only you” Tony and I decided not to show each other our vows and I’m glad for it, I get to watch him smile, laugh, and feel my words in his core as he hears them. He blinks and water clings to his lashes already stuck together from dampness. 

While I remembered all my vows Tony produces a peace of neatly folded paper from his pocket. It’s understandable, he has a lot more information to retain and his memory isn't quite as photographic as mine, “I,Tony Stark, take you Stephen Strange to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life,” He looks to the paper, which shakes a little in his grip, “I promise to remind you how beautiful you are every day until the end of time. I swear to get sleep when you ask me to. I promise not to set myself on fire in the workshop. I won't ever lean on the cauldron of the cosmos. I won't ever let you feel like you're not worthy, because you always will be. I promise never to disrespect you. I’ll always tell you if I’m not okay. I promise to cut your tomatoes for you.  And I won't ever leave your side Stephen, because it’s always you” Halfway through he forgot his paper and spoke the words eye to eye. The sight of him swims in my vision as the emotion starts to pill over.   


“James” Wong addresses. Promptly Rhodey comes up to us and produces a rectangular box from the breast pocket of his impeccable suit. As he said he would, Tony took care of the rings, and I haven't seen them yet so I wipe my eyes and blink the tears away in preparation. Rather than offering the box Rhodey opens it and hands me a band himself before skirting to the side. My first observation is that it isn't the usual gold, instead a white gold shade. And it isn't just a wedding band, instead edges are lined with a small series of diamonds on both ends. I like it, it’s elegant and different, like the man who picked it.   


“Tony, let this ring be a symbol to my devotion. Like it wraps your finger my love surrounds you” I improvise, then taking his left hand, now freed up since he’s moved the engagement ring to the right. I take my time to line the shining ring up, not wanting to mess this up, then slip the ring on. It suits him beautifully.    


Rhodes comes back and hands the second ring to Tony before snapping the box shut and returning to his spot. The design is the same but there's a glaring black geometric pattern on the inside of the one Tony’s holding. I hold back a frown.    


He clears his throat, “With this ring, I thee wed, and with it, I bestow upon thee all the treasures of my mind, heart, and hands” I have to hold back an eye roll too at his theatrics.    


His fingers, always hot to the touch, hold my left hand and just like I did, carefully slip the ring on. He looks up at me with an expectant smile and I’m not sure what he’s expectant of until I feel a little electric shock in my hand and it suddenly becomes very still. The tremor, its dialed from 10 to 1.    


“You are now officially husband, and husband. You may n-”   


I don’t let Wong finish, throwing myself at Tony and catching his lips with all my happiness and passion as it bursts within me. In this very moment he’s given me two of the greatest gifts I could ever dream of; a fix to my tremor and his hand in marriage. Moments like now, when I realise how much I love him, my heart bursts into flames.   


“Do you like it?” He whispers once we separate, sounding as if I’ve stolen all the air from him. “I know it's only your left hand and it hasn't gone away completely but I can improve it, and I have glov-”   


“Shh, I love it, its beautiful” My last words come out in a whine when it gets too much and I just have to let go, gathering Tony in my arms and dipping my face into his neck to cry. He whispers sweet words to me, lacing his hand into my hair and wrapping his other arm around my waist. It only makes me squeeze him harder.    


I’m so happy. I’m so happy.    


Wong, and all the guests, wait patiently for me to get it together before he speaks; “Please Welcome Tony and Stephen Stark”    


We were stuck on the surname game. Giving him my name was off the table immediately, Tony Strange sounds like a nightmare, and his brand relies on his surname. We considered then that we keep our same names, and it was close to being our final decision until somebody changed things.

* * *

Tony sticks out a hand to me, “Hello I’m Mr Strange, Tony Strange” 

“Okay we’re definitely not doing that” I shake my head, leaning on the back of May’s couch. The smell of salmon floats around the small appartement and Peters sat on the armchair on his DS playing a game called Spirit Tracks with a mildly sour look on his face. I recall him saying that it’s too easy in comparison to its predecessor and he hates that.  

“From the top,” He takes three steps back, then approaches again, hand out and tv smile on, “Hi I’m Mr Stark - Strange” 

Peter makes puking sound. 

“Strange Stark?” He offers. Another puke sound from the kid. 

“My turn. Hey I’m Mr Stark” 

Tony makes a high pitched hum. “I don't buy it. You're too… lanky”A convoluted way to say he’s short. 

“Thank you I love you too. Maybe I could pull off Stark Strange?” I let go of his calloused hand and rub my collar bone under my shirt. 

“You’d have to say it all every time, is that commitment you’re willing to make?” He asks while signalling for me to come with him to set the table.

“No, you're enough work as it is” I murmur, taking a pile of red square mats from him and setting them around the rectangular table. He stabs me in the arm with a fork. 

“I think Mr Stark might grow to fit you Stephen” May says when I come over to collect glasses from her. I agree really, it’s a strong surname and it might be out of place at first but we’d all get used to it.

“No, no. What will Peter ever do? We won't ever know who he’s calling” Tony argues once he’s done with the cutlery. 

Peter stops blowing at his console to speak, “I can continue calling you Mr Strange”

“You can just call us Tony and Stephen” I tell him. I know Tony has countless times and nothings changed, but now things with us are going to change.

Peter considers this for a moment. “Nah” 

“Pete get off that and help me put the food on the table” Peter does as she says and soon we’re sitting at her small table, Tony and I facing her and her nephew, with salmon and chips in front of us. 

“I'm thinking we should stick to the not changing our names idea” Tony says as we start to eat. 

“Probably. The salmons perfect May” She smiles in gratitude as she serves herself from the bowl of salad in the centre of the table. 

“Peter how's it going convincing MJ?” Tony asks after a sip of his water. I always think of her science project all those years ago and wonder how she hasn’t murdered Peter with a sultan's sword or something yet. 

“Difficult. She keeps saying marriage is incarceration of the female and I keep telling her that there are no females in your marriage. And then she says that one of you will inevitably fall into the traditional female role and be shackled to the point of divorce” He explains, jabbing a chip forcefully.

“Don't divorce me Stephen please”

I turn to give him an unimpressed look. “Are you telling me you think I’d become the traditional woman?” with some thought technically he would be right. My position at SI has been reduced to consultant since the Sanctum takes priority and Tony’s insistence on buying anything I even show mild interest in before I can means I don’t need the money I earned, and the sanctum  _ is  _ house sitting. 

“So she would never marry you Pete?” May asks Peter when Tony opens his mouth to answer me. Probably a good call.  

Except Peter looks at her like she just slapped him. “Aunt May! We’ve barely been together for a year!”

“If I might interject it took me much less than a year to realise I wanted to spend the rest of my days with this one” I ruffle Tony’s hair with a silly smile. He captures my wrist and brings my hand to his lips, placing a kiss there. 

“Can we talk about anything else?” Pete insists, he’s going pink. 

Tony nods as he swallows, “Yea, have you done the devil's tango? Because if you have I hope you’re both being very cautious. You know theres a male pill n-”

“Mr Stark!” He yells. 

Tony raises his hands defensively, trying and failing to disguise a smile. "You said anything” 

Peter suddenly freezes and all the embarrassment vanishes in place of a man with an idea. I’ve seen the face on Tony many times. “Oh my god. We’re all idiots”

“Um actually I’m a genius. Not just self proclaimed” Tony says, reaching for the salad. 

“Mr Stark and  _ Dr  _ Stark” Peter declares, pointing at Tony then me with a growing smile. 

“Oh… That works” Dr Stark. I can picture myself introducing myself with the name. It fits well.  

“I like it yea” Tony nods slowly with an inspired smile. “Why do I never get to be Dr though?”

I lean close and cover my mouth from the others view to whisper quietly in Tony’s ear, “Do something impressive with me tonight and I’ll call you doctor as many times as you like” Tony's mouth falls open and turns up at the corners, no doubt many delicious methods conjuring in that brain of his. I sit back with a satisfied smile and wink in response to Peter's dubious look. 

“Tony you’ll have to accept that Stephen has an MD and you don't” May says calmly. Peter finds that quite amusing, as do I. 

“So? Mr Strange will you be Dr Stark?” Peter looks at me expectantly. I relay the gaze onto Tony and he nods, showing he’s happy with it, so I nod too. 

We continue discussion, deciding that my superhero name, as Peter likes to call it, should stay as Dr Strange, as it’s apparently seamlessly appropriate to my profession, but that in my surname there will be Stark. It feels like a loss, giving Strange up, but I find that what I’m replacing it with brings so much to the table, allows me to express who I love unconditionally through a means as simple as a title. 

* * *

Tony goes down the three steps first, then offers a hand to me, which I take. We hook arms to walk down the isle followed by our party as rice is thrown at us from every direction. This is it, this is Tony and I tying the knot. It feels liberating.    


When we dip into the dim temple I talk to a man about portal arrangements to get the guests to the reception at the compound and once he’s gone it’s just Tony and I. Lovely Tony who glows even in the dimmest of lights.    


“Hi husband” He says softly, a smile consuming him as he picks rice out of my hair and brushes it off my shoulders.    


“Hi wife” I say back, ridding him of rice too.    


“C’mon love we discussed this, you're the woman in the relationship” Tony breathes, mirth in his endless eyes.    


“No. I’m the Stephen and you’re the Tony. We’re…” the Starks? That sounds too cringey Facebook couple to use as a title.    


“Stephen and Tony?” Tony supplies.    


“Exactly” as a reward I kiss him, or maybe I do it because I’m star struck by him and can’t help it.   


We don't stop, endlessly pressing together for lingering kisses. Tony pops the button on my blazer and slips his arms around to my back and when his nose bumps against my lips I nip at it and chuckle at the way it wrinkles.   


“You're incredible” I breathe, speaking it before giving a single thought. It's nature that he's amazing, there is no debate.    


“I know” he grins. I tighten the fingers in his hair and tug at them in reprimand. It's changed since we first met, it's brown is lighter and he has greys peppered within it and his goatee, that which has never changed. My goatee too remains unchanged in design but bright greys texture it. 4 years change a lot, but Tony's eyes are just as beautiful as they were the first time I saw them, so they also change nothing.    


“hey now leave that for tonight” Tony says, smirking playfully. Before I can quip anything back Rhodey emerges.    


“look at you two, so in love, what a disgrace” He throws his hands up.   


Tony chuckles. “You're just mad Beth couldn't make it”    


Bethany Cabe, Rhodey's current girlfriend, is someone they knew before Tony became Iron Man. She's a bodyguard and at the time was guarding somebody Tony was in business with. Apparently they dated for a short time but his alcoholism drove her away. About two years ago her and Rhodey were reunited the same way, by work, and they've been together for about a year and a half.   


“I am. She’d be the most beautiful person in the room” I can't help but smile at how candidly he compliments his partner. However if Tony's in the room that statement is automatically false.   


“you mean in a room Stephens not in?” Tony clarifies. I plant a hard kiss on his temple.    


“Whatever. Come on Mr and Dr Stank the reception awaits” we follow Rhodey to the courtyard, were all seats lay unoccupied. There's a scatter of rice and orange petals down the aisle and the arrangement of yellow and orange flowers behind the platform Wong stood on.   


Back when we were looking at ordering flowers and I insisted on Orange Tony asked me why. I told him the story of my happy place, of the flower that Tony’s spectre gave me, why the plant reminds me so vividly of him. He ordered so many because of that and as a result there isn't anywhere you look where you can't see orange petals.    


I take a moment to look at everything and remember it. Soon it'll be cleared away and disciples will be attempting to make portals or fighting with magic sticks. As if reading my mind Tony gets his phone out and takes a picture.    


I take his hand and step through the portal after Rhodey. We've come a long way, Tony can handle portals and I can handle car rides as long as they're with him behind the wheel.    


Our reception is as personal in location as the wedding itself, the compound. The compound where we realised we could be more than friends, the compound where I first met a lot of the Avengers.   


In the vast field we've had a white gazebo set up, under it there are several round white tables with an arrangement of orange flowers at their centres, a DJ table and bar and food instalments.    


Killing me softly plays through the surround speakers and I have to shoot a thumbs up to Shuri behind the DJ setup with Quill next to her playing with the Zune he refuses to let Tony replace. She looks great in her white tube dress with a bright orange diamond pattern on it and white headphones hung around her neck. It really wasn't a question that those two would handle the music.    


As I hold the thumbs up I realise it's so easy. I don't struggle to curl my fingers in or make my thumb straight, it just happens. I pull Tony close by the hand and press kisses all over the side of his face with joy fluttering in my heart.    


“you good?” He asks me. Wong's closing the portal behind him.    


“I love the ring. I love you” Tony really did that for me, and I know it must have taken a long time to harness that kind of tech and compact it into a ring, especially one that works so well.    


He bumps my shoulder with a sweet smile on his face. “Stephen stop embarrassing me at my wedding”   


We make our way to our table, it's not difficult to find considering it's surrounded by chairs with gold framing. We decided that on our table we should have Tony's bridesmaid, Natasha, and her partner Bucky, Wong the officiator, with his unlikely yet totally predictable girlfriend, Helen, Rhodey the best man, Peter the son, and his date MJ. Which means we also have the largest table.    


“Could all the guests find seats for the speeches” Shuri instructs through a Mic. As per her order all the people milling about chatting start to amble around in search for their seats.    


“Excited?” Nat asks Rhodey, pulling out Bucky's chair for him before sitting in her own one.    


“Very much. My speech is gonna make at least one person cry” Rhodey says as he settles into his seat, looking very confident.    


“Probably just Tony if what I've learned about best man speeches is true” Bucky comments. He and Natasha look great, she's radiant, her red hair vivid, and he looks sharp in his tux and low bun.    


“oh no you're not gonna tell an embarrassing story are you?” Tony looks to Rhodey pleadingly. I'm not sure what he expected.    


“what do you think?” he smirks. Tony bumps his forehead onto the spotless table cloth and keeps it there.    


“Stories are only embarrassing if you're embarrassed by them” MJ points out. She's chosen to wear a white shirt and slacks with an orange tie and it's a very elegant look.    


Tony lifts his head and looks her dead in the eye. “listen kid I've done some stuff”   


“He certainly has” Rhodey says smugly. Tony has told me a lot of crazy stories but I'm sure they were only the tip of the iceberg, I'm curious what he'll pull out his sleeve.   


Soon everyone's settled, Quill brings Rhodey a Mic, and the music dims for him. He stands almost in a flourish, grinning. “Hello all thank you for coming today. As you know I'm Tony's best friend in the whole wide world, and as his best friend I think I get a pass to tell you about the time he discovered he was bisexual” Tony stops breathing and I have to pinch his arm to get him to. I couldn't pinch before.    


“So this kid comes to MIT, he's this afro American guy with dark eyes and stupidly good facial structure who's really quiet and while people invite him to sit with them he never contributes to conversation. Anyway one day he sets his dorm on fire because he left something on the cooker so him and his roommate have to stay somewhere for the night. I tell the guy he can stay with us, because you know, brothers gotta stick together” He nods to Sam, who nods back with a smirk, “when I go to sleep Tony's on the floor and the guys in his bed. When I wake up they're both in his bed naked. Unfortunately Tony's never told me how that happened.   


Any who he majorly crushed on him and they actually got close, in fact Tony was the only person he spoke to. But guess what? Two weeks passed and Tony found out he was a spy trying to find out about some secret SI project. He was too proud to call authorities so we tailed him and had this intense brawl in a Wendy's parking lot at 2 am. We managed to knock him out and called enforcement and Tony cried the whole time he was getting arrested apparently because he was mourning the loss of someone  _ so beautiful _ ” Rhodeys in stitches by the time he's done, holding his chest. Everyone, like myself, just looks shocked and confused. I have so many questions; did he set the fire on purpose? Who did he work for? How did he and Tony agree to do the deed? How didn't they wake Rhodey up? How did Tony find out the guy was a spy? Why did the spy go to Wendy’s at 2 am?   


“It's really only funny if you're there and the point of the story is that Tony discovering men wasn't perfect, but it was the start of him finding the perfect man. Stephen, half of what Tony rambles about is you and he always speaks the world. No one has ever compared and no one ever will. Tony loves you a lot and you love him just as much. Because if you don't you'll die a highly mysterious death. To the newly wed!” he raises his champagne flute and we all follow suit before knocking back the drink, Tony and I and the under 21’s drinking down sparkling water.    


“anyone got a few words?” Rhodey asks, holding up the microphone. Interestingly it's Bucky that takes it from him.   


He stands. His real hand rests on Natasha's shoulder while the metal one holds the Mic. “the past 4 years have been, well, a lot, and I've never gotten the chance to properly thank Tony. All of you know what I did, and for that Tony had all the right to so much as kill me. But he held back, and eventually he even accepted me. Tony your friendship shows you have a strength and kindness unmatched by anybody in the universe and I'm thankful everyday for it. I'll always wish you the best, in life and in your marriage” he smiles at Tony and in his eyes I can see he meant every word. Tony looks very placid when he smiles back, nodding in acknowledgement. The memory still hurts him, it's a wound that'll never truly heal, but Barnes is right, he's so strong.    


Once Bucky sits Tony reaches over to take the Mic from him, standing up. “hey kids thanks for coming to the celebration of the best day of my life. Before I get in to anything could we take a moment for Steve Rogers, Gamora and Vision. They were all amazing people who didn't deserve the fate they were handed and it isn't the same without them” The silence that stretches is something tangible and I’m ripped back to the one time Tony truly let himself mourn. 

* * *

“So what happened? While we were gone?” I ask Tony while he neatens my goatee with a blade. It became his job long before the snap, and now, four days have passed since we’ve returned. 

He frowns, shuffling for a new angle. “Don’t you know?”

“Well yes, you all took down Thanos with Carols help, Nebula hacked his head off, and Steve used the gauntlet to reverse the snap. But you see I had to watch it in super speed so I got none of the details” I tell him as he tips my chin up. 

“Did you know… about Steve?” He asks the question so quietly and I wonder how exactly he feels about it. Unfortunately I have to keep my eyes up so I don't get my neck slit open. 

“Yes. How are you handling it?”

He doesn't answer for a while, instead wiping foam off his hand with the pink towel hung next to us. “I’m fine” He sounds hollow.

“I know you were there, so if you want to talk about it-”

“Done. I’m done” He interrupts, tossing me a wet flannel and circling behind my stool to the sink. I thoroughly wipe my face down and turn to look in the mirror. It’s perfect, of course, but that doesn't matter because I meet Tony’s eyes in the mirror and they're rimmed red. The white sink is also red, with drops of dark blood running down the bowl and into the sink. He’s holding the blade so tightly in his shaking grip and its slicing into his fingers. He doesn't seem to notice, too caught up clearly trying not to fall apart. 

“Tony!” I grab his wrist tightly and manage to pry his hand open until the metal object falls into the sink with a loud clatter. He didn't help or resist me and when I look into his eyes again they swim. They swim not like they did when we were reunited four days ago, they swim like they’re in black waters.  

“I… I couldn't have done it without him. He was supposed to trust me” Tony whispers, like he’s talking to himself. His gaze locks on to middle distance and my fears almost reached breaking point. When Tony starts to breakdown he does this, causes himself pain and doesn't feel even a little of it, his lip quivers and his eyes shine red and fractured. I never knew Steve was like this to him, close enough to cause him to react the way he only has due to deep rooted trauma and loss.  

He starts to sink and grabs onto the edge of the bath, except his hands wet with blood and slips along the white porcelain and he falls onto his butt. In a second I shove the stool into the corner of the bathroom and take the patch of floor next to him. “Tony take a deep breath you’re shaking” I tell him while pulling his hand to me and wiping the blood away with the flannel I forgot on the floor. The wound on his index is deep though and it only supplies his skin with more blood. 

“There was a plan” He gasps, ignoring my instructions for a breath completely. His physical injury however is fixable, so I stretch up to rummage for gauze, disinfectant and cotton wool from the cupboard under the sink.

“What was the plan Tony? Tell me, slowly” Hopefully a slow pace will regulate his breaths and calm him a little. I focus on disinfecting his cuts and the only reaction he has to a sting that should have him hissing is a slight eye twitch. This is bad.

By the time his fingers wrapped he starts the story. “We… we didn't exactly become friends, but Thanos pushed us together out of need. We made a plan, use the stones to fix everything. Carol was supposed to wear the gauntlet, she could handle the stones. But she was out of commission from draining all her power to give Nebula her kill. I was going to do it, I asked him-” a terrible sob rips through him and he collapses into my chest, bunching my hoodie in his fists like it’ll save him from the edge. Hoping it will, I gather him in my arms and hold him tight, letting him hide his face in my neck. He’s still shaking like a leaf. “I asked him to trust me, and- and he said he did, but he didn't, he really didn't! Because I went for the gauntlet and he snatched it first. The last thing he said to me… he told me he owed it to me. Then he snapped and it was over”  

“I didn't see… that you were going to do it” I shouldn't be surprised, near on all of the futures I saw involved Tony making a sacrifice, in some he lost an arm, or his legs, in others he lost his life. If it wasn't for Steve that would have happened. I cast a look up and thank him silently, for saving my Tony, my happiness. 

“He didn't deserve to die” He whispers so quietly, so brokenly. 

I kiss his hair and grab at him harder, so he couldn't slip away. “No one does. No one does”

 

* * *

 

 

“Now, I'm not going to tell you how I accidentally seduced Mr Spy or about the time Rhodey grinded on me at a party thinking I was a chick” Tony continues, to break the sad air.   


Rhodeys fist curls. “it was dark!” He hisses through gritted teeth. Clearly it's a sensitive spot.    


“No I’m going to tell you about the first time I spoke to Stephen; He was in his office nose deep in papers like the little nerd he is and I was looking forward to meeting him, being a fan of his work. What kinda blew me away when we first met eyes is how stunning he is, I mean, look at those cheekbones,” He pokes my cheek and I poke his thigh in return, smiling broadly at the story. “And the moment I realised I was whipped; he was standing out on a balcony in Montreal. He looked so magical I vomited out a whole Shakespeare verse I didn't’ even know I knew. You see I hate night skies, they remind me of things I don’t wanna think about, but with him there it was fine, I actually enjoyed the view” He never told me that. I swallow back more tears. “Finally I want to tell you about the moment I realised I loved him, it was in that second of eye contact we made when you were bleeding out onto the floor four years ago. I don't think you could see me but when you collapsed it hurt so much more than getting stabbed by Thanos. From there, from that moment on, the only way was up, and now you’re my husband and I’ve never felt so accomplished, thank you. I love you” He practically yanks me out of my chair to kiss him and I don’t mind it even a bit. While everybody cheers I get a tight hug in, to illustrate how much I thank and love him too, and swipe the mic.    


“Hey, I’m not as good as Tony at this, and certainly not as good as Peter, but I can't let him say all of that and not follow up. First… I want to talk about Tony not being human. Tony’s a force, he takes you with him, he’s the sun, you’ll never see anything brighter, he’s the key, to everything, he’s intelligence and wit and beauty and passion. Funnily enough he’s also an idiot; his socks end up under his pillow, he has some questionable clothes in his wardrobe, too many shoes for one lifetime, he charges at death every day, whether it’s an alien invasion or coffee strong enough to kill a rodent and often uses my toothbrush instead of his. When you love someone through the things that make them an idiot are so beautiful. Pete I’m sure MJ uses you to test mild poisons, Helen I bet Wong's forgotten a date more than once and Nat maybe Bucky sticks his arm in plug sockets sometimes.” That gets huge laughs from anyone that was there for the joke four years ago. “But It makes them shine so brightly. So thank you Tony, for taking me as your bride. I love you too” His grin is so wide my heart surrenders to him when he punches at my leg playfully before yanking me down to press our lips together.     


“Alright everybody food and drink is ready to be served and the music is hot fire so don’t you dare stay in your seats” Shuri announces over her mic once Tony gives her a signal. People start to shift and the music dials right back up, playing Kendrick Lamar Pray For Me. Shuri and I spent an enjoyable evening where she introduced me to his music. The beat on this song particularly is excellent.    


In the heaps of people that want to speak to us Tony and I get separated and I eventually end up with Helen and Wong. Tony introduced them at a party 6 months ago and before long he started coming to the sanctum with the smile of a man hooked. They're a great match, vastly intelligent in starkly different fields, meaning they can learn a lot from each other and never grow bored.    


“So Wong tells me the honeymoons in Italy” Helen says, hooking her arm in Wong's. With her in a business cut white dress and him in dark robes they look like they've been plucked from two very different parties and put together.    


“Yes, We’re going to the town Tony’s mom comes from, it looks beautiful” The towns modest, not a lot there other than crops and a tight community of neighbours according to Tony, but I’m happy for it, for a calm stay in a place that means something important to him.    


“Look the queues short” Wong points to the food table, “lets go” I watch him drag Helen away and huff a laugh. Good old Wong.    


“Dr Stark”    


I pause mid sip of my water and spin on my heel to face Natasha and Bucky, arms linked like Wong and Helen. Love really is all around. “You respond to it already” She observes, smirking.    


“Well since we decided on it I’ve been anticipating this moment. You're the first to call me by my official new name. It sounds great doesn't it?”   


“Yea suits you. I’ll miss Strange though” Bucky says.    


I’ll miss it too, but I’m surprised I don’t miss it more. Maybe it’s because reputation doesn't mean what it used to and my egos gone flat with age. “I’m still Dr Strange with my cloak on” I raise my glass to that.    


“Can I see the ring?” Nat asks, her eye catching the band as I hold the glass. It makes me so happy that it doesn't shake. I nod and let her lean in to look close. “Oh it has little diamonds in it, that is clever design” She straightens, “How’d you think I would look with a ring?”    


I bring the glass up to my mouth in a poor attempt to hide the smile I can't help but shoot Bucky's way. To my pleasant surprise rather than freaking out he rolls his eyes comically and presses a smile to Natasha's temple.     


“Really good. I reckon maybe a round or square diamond?” I inform. She looks down at her ringless hand and contemplates. I wonder if this is even a hint or if she’s genuinely curious, most likely both.    


“I wouldn't want anything flashy, maybe a small square one?” she decides. Bucky looks up as if thanking the lord he won't have to spend too much money. That makes me smile even wider, it means he wants to marry her at some point. I can imagine that being from the old days means Bucky still highly values matrimony.   


“Hey has anyone seen Madonna?” The three of us open to welcome Tony and Peter into the fray.    


“Who?” Bucky frowns. He hasn't gotten there yet apparently.     


“Madonna's here?” Natasha raises a brow and looks around.    


“Yea I saw her like 10 minutes ago. I want Peter to meet her, he’s a good dancer, they could dance together”   


“Dad seriously I’ll pass. I was in a play like  _ once  _ I’m not that good” Peter insists. We all smile knowingly at each other without them noticing.     


He sighs, “Alright alright. I saw MJ talking to Barack and Michele, why don't you join them?”   


I almost hear the ball drop for all of us. “The  _ Obamas  _ are here?” Pete asks in a high voice.    


“Yea down back” He points to the back of the gazebo and we crane our necks to indeed lay eyes on the former president and his wife. They're hands are laced together over the table as they listen to MJ ramble about god knows what. 

“Oh my god!” Peter practically screeches, pushing past us all and to the goal.    


“Only President I’ve ever liked” Tony sighs, smiling fondly as he watches Peter fumble to introduce himself to them. Interestingly it was Rhodey that invited them, apparently they worked closely from time to time while one was in office and the other in the army.    


“Hey hey I’ve seen Get Out, don't try it Tones” Rhodey himself wags his finger at his friend, edging in to take Peters space.   


“No no, unlike the people in that movie I’m more than happy to stay dead when my time comes” He assures with a smile.   


“It must be you that Pete gets all his death jokes from” Bruce says, joining our growing circle next to Natasha   


“Bruce!” Tony tackles the poor guy into a hug, “Haven't seen you all day”   


Tony actually asked Bruce to be a groomsman. He insisted however that he doesn't do well with attention. Tony loves him, his science bro as he likes to call him, he was so sad when Bruce disappeared shortly after our fight against the Enchantress.    


I still remember when he returned to earth, making quite the entrance.

 

* * *

 

“Seriously? You don't have any money” I make my way down the stairs to the sanctum lobby with Wong close behind, who, as usual, is hungry.    


“Attachment to the material is detachment from the spiritual” He argues. Poor excuse, spirits won't save anyone from starvation or electric bills.    


“I’ll tell the guys at the Deli, maybe they’ll make you a metaphysical ham and rye”     


“Wait wait wait wait, I think I have 200”    


I stop and turn at his words. “Dollars?”   


“Rupees” He smiles innocently.    


“Which is?” I’m shaking my head even before he answers.    


“Hm, a buck and a half?”   


“What do you want?” I sigh, continuing to trot down the stairs and feeling for notes in my pockets. There was a time Wong was against me working at SI. If I had listened to him he would have certainly regretted it.    


“I wouldn't say no to a tuna melt”   


There's a bright flash and noise and splinters of wood fly past us both. I squat and cover my face. We turn to a beacon of rainbow light I’d recognise anywhere, Thors bifrost. To be safe as we run toward it I grab my cloak and transform into the black costume I can never quite get used to wearing.     


There's a gaping hole right in the middle of the stairs and when we look down it, Wong's enchantments at the ready, we find Bruce. His skin goes from green to brown, the look in his eyes is haunted in a way I’ve only ever seen once. When Tony almost killed himself. “Thanos is coming. He’s coming” He gasps.    


Wong and I look to each other, then back down at him. “Who?” I ask.    


I send my cloak down to retrieve him and with two quick spells have him clean and dressed. He sits on one of the few intact steps shakingly, seemingly not even having noticed the changes I’ve made. “Tony. We need Tony. Thanos is gonna destroy the universe” He breathes. The look in his eye suggests no exaggeration, this is serious.    


I know where Tony is right around this time, jogging in Central Park. I join him at times, when I’m not training in Kamar Taj. So with the nature of the situation I don't think twice before opening a portal and stepping out by the Reservoir. I spot Tony immediately, walking beside the water and speaking on the phone through his earphones. He’s wearing his dark tracksuit with the orange highlights, the jacket tied over his shoulders exposing the reactors brilliance.  He spots me too, I’m hard to miss in this outfit with a portal glowing behind me.    


“I’ll call you back Pep” I hear him say as he approaches. “Stephen what the hell are you doing?” He looks around at all the people staring. Based on Bruce’s state there's no time to worry about that.    


“Tony you need to come with me. We need you. It's not overselling it to say the fate of the universe is at stake”    


He frowns. “Who’s we?”   


Bruce steps out of the portal behind me. “Hey Tony”   


“Bruce” Tony says like he cant believe what he’s seeing. He looks taken aback, scared, at the look on his friends face as he approaches him.    


“Are you okay?” He asks softly when Bruce hugs him, putting his hands on the man's back and looking over his shoulder at me, searching for an explanation.    


Bruce came back. Then everything changed. 

* * *

  
  


“I was babysitting your children. The cloak kept trying to dip itself in the chocolate fountain and DUM - E kept reading the orange bouquets as flames. I had to shove a napkin in his extinguisher” Bruce says grudgingly, looking truly like a tired dad.    


“We should have gone for sunflowers” Tony tells me, returning to my side and lacing his fingers with mine. It’s Tony's favourite flower, but he forgot about them as soon as I told him why I chose orange.   


“You could always fix it” Bucky suggests.    


Tony mock gasps, slapping a palm to his heart. “Don't ever say that to me again Barnes”    


Tony would never change a thing about that robot, something proved to me by the Clea incident. She came to attack us for my love, as usual, and while she blasted us with her flames no one had noticed DUM - E come to the rescue with his little extinguisher. He did well, getting foam in Cleas eye and managing to distract her so Thor could pummel her in the face. However she attacked him with more flames and it would have been the end of our little guy if Tony had not swooped in and literally taken the fire to save him. It was a good day. Peter got his ass set on fire somehow.   


Soon it’s time for our first dance. The floor clears and slow music starts to play. I don’t know it, but that doesn't matter, because Tony takes my hand, and takes my shoulder, and I hold his waist and he’s the only thing. We fall into step easily, both great dancers thanks to galas.    


The two of us turn a certain way and suddenly Tony’s washed with the light of the setting sun. I feel like I’m sinking into a bed of roses looking at him, at his eye brightened to hazel, golden hair, brilliant skin. “You are so whipped aren't you?” He smiles up at me. All the ways his skin folds in the action pull at my heartstrings.    


“You do realise this is our wedding?” I tell him, smiling widely regardless.    


He makes a mock shocked face. “What? It isn't Home Depot?”   


I pull by our joined hands and wrap my arm all the way around his waist to delete any space between us. “Shut up” When I dip my head our foreheads pressed together and my smiling lips brush his ever so slightly.    


“I love you too” He whispers back, hooking his arm around my neck and pulling me in for the softest kiss, softer than any bed of roses.    


Years ago I would have thought it was a myth to be this happy. But it’s not, it’s very real. 

  
  
  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we're really finished, becoming is officially a wrap! I'll miss it, i'll miss you, but hopefully you'll be around for my next fic? (I already have ideas, you'll be hearing from me again for sure, be sure to subscribe)
> 
> Seriously I love you all, thank you for those who stuck with the series, those who gave kudos, and those who commented. Take care and enjoy endgame! It's out tomorrow! (panicked nooting)
> 
>  
> 
> For any questions or prompts hit up my tumblr: wifeofstark


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